Parenting Autism Spectrum Kids

[wideeyed]

Go TOBY! I am sorry he has to wait.

[Thrillho]

We got the book "Macawber" out of the library, written by John Lithgow (yes, that one) and illustrated by an INCREDIBLE artist.  It's all about a squirrel that is obsessed with the art gallery, and then discovers he can paint with his tail.

 

My youngest (and most ASD) child has gone through TWO complete 24 color paint sets in a WEEK. Nothing has ever captured her attention like painting.  Ever.  And she's producing some really incredible stuff, and naming them, and explaining them to us, and signing them, and her handwriting is strangely enough better with a paintbrush than with a pen.  She's so... incredibly... CAREFUL.  

 

And now she says she wants to get "the expensive paints" and make "wall paintings" for us.  And I'm thinking it's worthwhile.  I love to sit and just watch her paint now.  

[wideeyed]

We got the book "Macawber" out of the library, written by John Lithgow (yes, that one) and illustrated by an INCREDIBLE artist.  It's all about a squirrel that is obsessed with the art gallery, and then discovers he can paint with his tail.

 

My youngest (and most ASD) child has gone through TWO complete 24 color paint sets in a WEEK. Nothing has ever captured her attention like painting.  Ever.  And she's producing some really incredible stuff, and naming them, and explaining them to us, and signing them, and her handwriting is strangely enough better with a paintbrush than with a pen.  She's so... incredibly... CAREFUL.  

 

And now she says she wants to get "the expensive paints" and make "wall paintings" for us.  And I'm thinking it's worthwhile.  I love to sit and just watch her paint now.

That is beautiful. My friend's son is beginning to use his art to articulate things he cannot speak about. It is so powerful for him.

[Krisis]

We got the book "Macawber" out of the library, written by John Lithgow (yes, that one) and illustrated by an INCREDIBLE artist.  It's all about a squirrel that is obsessed with the art gallery, and then discovers he can paint with his tail.

 

My youngest (and most ASD) child has gone through TWO complete 24 color paint sets in a WEEK. Nothing has ever captured her attention like painting.  Ever.  And she's producing some really incredible stuff, and naming them, and explaining them to us, and signing them, and her handwriting is strangely enough better with a paintbrush than with a pen.  She's so... incredibly... CAREFUL.  

 

And now she says she wants to get "the expensive paints" and make "wall paintings" for us.  And I'm thinking it's worthwhile.  I love to sit and just watch her paint now.  

 

 

Wow.  That is so awesome.  Definitely get her the paints!  

 

And I'm definitely checking out that book :-) 

 

Here's the picture Toby's preschool program took of him on Wednesday dressed as Toby-Wan Kenobi.  I love this preschool - I love that they emphasize character values and behavior rather than academic stuff.  Toby needs the character building right now, he's got the academia down. 

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kraby/9475097951/

[Thrillho]

OH NO! WE MUST FLEE! TOBY WAN KENOBI WILL DESTROY US ALL!!

[Arpeggio]

I love that photo, so creative! My little guy has been loving on Star Wars a lot lately - he wants to be either a minion or Obi Wan for Halloween, he can't quite make up his mind...

As for the bike, the thing that finally got him going was having him scoot the bike without using the pedals, swinging both feet at the same time. For the longest time, he'd try scooting with his feet alternating, which would get him moving but also moving continually off balance (side to side) until he got a foot tangled up under a wheel. Once he learned the smooth scoot-n-glide action, it wasn't too tough to get his feet up onto the pedals. He fell a couple times, but not badly, and was game enough to hop back on and try again.

[Thrillho]

My oldest, and perhaps most socially-handicapped and hyperactively-twitchy child, made it to week three of powerlifting.  Something that you have to do slowly, and something that calls for true effort, NOT something you can give up on halfway through. I'm really hopeful for this!

 

[wideeyed]

Uhh, hmm... maybe the guys in charge of the DSM V should have actually listened to the developmental experts?

 

http://news.yahoo.com/aspergers-autism-brain-differences-found-122142356.html

 

Yeah, Asperger's and Autism are DIFFERENT, quite possibly VERY different.

 

Thoughts anybody?

I was reading "Ido in Autismland," and Ido notes that Aspies, who are often the ones who speak on behalf of AS people really aren't much like him at all.

[Arpeggio]

Thrillho, your son is awesome and inspiring!

My sister and I just had a discussion the other day - she's been seeking help dealing with her autism, and it's been interesting to see the differences between her ADD + autism, versus my son's ADD + Aspie. There are some things they do that are similar, but some things are vastly different.

[Thrillho]

I guess I should update some of those pics...

 

 

 

And slightly more on topic regarding The Boy...

 

After nearly five years, we get a proper Autism Assessment. Final verdict: non-verbal learning disorder, represented by "a whole host" of issues. There is a lot of overlap between minor autism and comparatively severe NVLD, the main difference being autism has a lot of political activism and NLVD doesn't. Functionally, they seem to be pretty much identical, in terms of behaviour, symptoms AND treatment.

On the plus side, he scored above the 99th percentile for verbal processing and comprehension. If they are more than two standard deviations apart between any of the four broad categories (verbal, visual/spatial, processing and cognitive) then there is considered to be an assymetrical learning disorder, much like my youngest child. Once again, my kids can't be abnormal in any NORMAL way, and for my son there was the highest standard deviation she's ever seen between verbal and visual/spatial, 3.9 SD. He was, at best, low-average for the other three broad categories, so it's no wonder he is the way he is.

On the downside... yeah, lots of warning signs for anxiety, loneliness, depression and so forth, especially as he goes through puberty, and the massive disconnect between what he's good at (reading, comprehension, creativity) and what he's bad at (everything else under the sun) is going to make that even more of a problem in high school. We've got some names and numbers to contact for some social skills courses, both for him and us, and some advice for what to watch for and how to help him out with his many, many anxiety issues. Combined with the juvenile arthritis which is compounding his emotional disabilities with physical disabilities (thank you, non-existent diety, you dick) he's at risk for a lot of fairly serious problems in his teens.

Which we now have warning for, I guess.

A few more things about him make sense, I suppose, and the doctor lady was very nice in explaining what he was good at, not good at, and how to help with both. So that's kind of awesome. On the downside, the government only helps those who help themselves, and although we have lots of money, coverage and resources to throw at this problem, we have nothing to ACTUALLY throw at the problem. It's almost impossible to ACCESS resources. There is ONE occupational therapist for the entire region, and he doesn't operate outside of the school system, and the school has said it's not their problem so... he can't help us. Same for speech therapy.

And just to make things hilariously balanced, my youngest daughter is virtually the exact opposite for him re: verbal and spatial switched, but otherwise the same, and my middle child is in the middle, a delightful mix of smarts, comprehension, artistic skill and natural athletic gifts.

I figure they'll pool their resources, compensate for eachothers' shortcomings, and rule Bartertown when the world collapses.

[Machete]

Mother sent me to a special needs school for 10 years. I had a blast. Went to Catholic Jesuit high school; it was probably the worst four years of my life. I felt awkward, stupid, and suffocated. They kept telling me I was smart, I just didn't want to apply myself; I kept thinking they were patronizing bastards who were just doing their jobs. Went on to graduate with honors in college, and am currently pursuing a graduate degree. Everything came together and made sense when I was diagnosed with an ASD at 25.

 

I have a stable job, a phone, a car, and a few friends I would be comfortable in saying that I am "close" with. Martial arts has been my "thing" for the past 22 years, and has been a constant reminder of the direction I want to take my life. I guess so far my takeaway lesson is that we tend to get lost in the abstract. A concrete explanation of social constructs seem to help a lot in the road to accepting that conformity is a big part of social dynamics and civilization. Labels are great and all, as long as I don't overthink them. Pros and cons lists are also fantastic in reaching a "balance" in everything gray. Never ever tell them that they are stupid or lazy; I still suffer from self-esteem and identity issues that need to be addressed.

[Hooligan]

So does anyone have elementary age 2nd through 5th grades kids here?  My daughter is in 3rd grade and has just been diagnosed with ASD (previously Aspie), Abnormal Auditory Processing Disorder, and ADHD combined type.  We are really struggling with her in school.  She's a very bright little girl, but with her "issues" her grades are terrible!  Compound that with a twit of a teacher who does not believe in assigning homework other than spelling (which DD has a 94% in) and really poor special ed. services, I'm in a quandary with what to do with her.  She struggles with math and most things that require reading comprehension and is impulsive with answers and her grades are suffering horribly.  I'm really on the fence with medication and I guess I just don't know what to do. I cringe every night working on my own versions of homework according to the Indiana Education standards or muddling through her books trying to focus on concepts I hope they will be covering in class.  Her teacher is not very forthcoming with classroom content and I believe is being purposely vague.  When I ask what they will be covering in Math, for example, she will merely state "Chapter 2."  OK...so are we talking about lesson 2.1? 2.4? 2.8?  Can I get a little more clarity?  Nope...no response.  I just want to help my kid for heaven's sake and she's continually shutting the door on me.  She acts like I'm asking to have an advanced copy of a test!   I have an IEP review meeting scheduled for Monday and hopefully her teacher will agree to give me key topics being covered for the following week.  Ugh...does school ever get any better for them? 

[alienjenn]

school DOES get better

 

my boy is in 7th this year... 

 

 

 

elementary school was hell and he was suspended multiple times every year for his behaviours... he has had one suspension at this school (for all of 6th and 7th) and that was over a gross misunderstanding and stupidity on the teachers part... (sigh)

 

 

part of it comes from figuring out what is the best motivator for your kid and then using it... we had to work hard to find what he liked about school and exploit it... 

[Wondertje]

I'm really on the fence with medication and I guess I just don't know what to do.

 

I'm not a parent, but I wanted to reply to this point from a sibling's point of view. I grew up with a 2 year younger sister, who was diagnosed with ADHD and autism when I was around 8-9, if memory serves me well. Granted, I don't remember much but what I do remember is that before the time of her diagnosis our family was in a downward spiral. Whether my parents ever felt the same, I don't know, I never really asked. However, as soon as she was diagnosed, she was put on medication, and the effect and the results were very clear. She felt much more relaxed, focused and 'normal' so to speak. This started a snowball effect of positive things. With this, she could go to school and focus, she wasn't falling as much behind anymore. When she got home from school, she was more relaxed since school hadn't been such a chore it previously was. (The afternoon had earlier been the hell-moment of the day, that's when she would just let go of everything and nothing would function. Her problems would lead to arguments, fights and a general negative feeling in the end). With medication this was all brought down a notch and she was more relaxed, leaving less arguments and fights. This in turn made our parents more relaxed, less stressed and more able to also spend time on me and my brother, which on really bad days would be rather overlooked since so much time was needed to parent my sister.

 

Long story short: I really think medicine is an option worth a try, because it really can have a tremendous positive effect on the whole situation if used correctly. And it's better to see it happen earlier rather than later, because at this point she's still able to save her grades and not have any long term problems. If it takes another 10 years, it might affect things like high school competence/higher education, and that's much more difficult to correct.

 

With this said, of course school can also be improved. Finding the right school, the right principal, the right class and the right teachers. All of which can, with some effort, be changed and fixed for the better.

 

Good luck

[Groove]

My only Son "stunt-man" Sam is on the spectrum, along with ADHD, and he's a wonderful handful. My Wife is a School Psychologist so she picked up on it pretty early. Never a dull moment.

 

He's the monkey in the middle:

[Bekah]

it's an old thread, but all my friends are in it  

hi y'all  

 

How are all the kiddos doing now? 

my Asperger's diagnosis very much changed how I thought of myself for the better. I got it at...uhm....34 (I think) 

[Jessica Valiant]

Oh, I know it's been forever since anyone posted in this thread but I only just joined and I would love other nerd moms to talk to!

Our (almost 3 year old) son got his official ASD diagnosis last July and now my Middlest son is getting a referral for his HF ASD traits (we already know he has sensory processing disorder - the OVER responsive kind)

Since we homeschool were hoping to make nerd fitness part of our whole family routine and I wonder if anyone has been successful incorporating this, especially with special needs cuties!

[Alex85]

Autistic kids are wonderful, and they need more care than any other kids..

[Bekah]

Oh, I know it's been forever since anyone posted in this thread but I only just joined and I would love other nerd moms to talk to!

Our (almost 3 year old) son got his official ASD diagnosis last July and now my Middlest son is getting a referral for his HF ASD traits (we already know he has sensory processing disorder - the OVER responsive kind)

Since we homeschool were hoping to make nerd fitness part of our whole family routine and I wonder if anyone has been successful incorporating this, especially with special needs cuties!

Welcome

I haven't tried that, but I am interested to see how it goes for you!