Anxious Minds: Those Who Struggle with Anxiety

[GreenTreeFrog]

I don't really discuss my "moods" with anyone. I've always kept my thoughts to myself and have gone to great lengths to hide my anxiety and depression from people around me. I'm sure most of my potential friends just think I'm a flake when I cancel social events and hide in my house.

I have a lot of social anxiety so I don't go out much, it's been this way forever. I was a Selective Mute when I was a kid (I didn't speak to anyone but my mother and sister for years). I still felt this way even going into High School. Sometimes I just felt completely unable to speak or respond to people. This was (and still is) seen as me being stuck up or rude.

I'm a very rational, logical and analytical person (most of the time anyway) so I'm always thinking "what can I do to overcome this problem?" But there's no clear cut answer. I've basically had to come to terms with the fact that I will probably never be a social person and realistically that closes a lot of doors for me.

Anyway, at the moment I'm trying to focus on my physical health and what I can do right now. If I can keep myself and my surroundings organised I feel like I'm more in control of my life and my emotions. I see a really great psychiatrist too, thankfully. It's important that you "click" with them.

Sometimes I drop off the grid for a long time and don't talk to anyone - I avoid social media because it brings me down. I don't like to explain my absences, I don't want to hear what people have to say about it.

A few years ago my anxiety intensified tenfold - it turned out I have an under active thyroid. A lot of people don't know that this can cause heart palpitations, panic attacks, anxiety, PCOS type symptoms, among others. The generally prescribed Thyroxine (otherwise known as Synthroid) didn't work for me so I had to change over to a high dose of Desiccated Thyroid. I know others who take Synthroid and still have lingering symptoms but refuse to try Desiccated Thyroid because most doctors don't recommend it - they want to trust their doctor.

Just wanted to put that out there for anyone who might have similar issues.

Sometimes doctors don't know what they're talking about or just won't look outside the box in regards to treatment, they want to adhere to the status quo.

[Sachiko*Kawaii]

Your openness to share your story on struggling with social anxiety is humbly appreciated. Thank you! It's actually quite fascinating to hear how much more our physical chemistry and hormones so greatly affect emotions and mental comprehension.

I encourage you though to think up a few small realistic and tangible goals to help you slowly overcome your social anxiety. The little more you practice in social settings the more you will help gain confidence and help you keep a with healthy perspective on social expectation for yourself.

[NikaNika]

Sometimes doctors don't know what they're talking about or just won't look outside the box in regards to treatment, they want to adhere to the status quo.

 

A billion times of This ^.

 

It's so very true. And thanks for sharing. Sometimes, when it comes to social anxiety, I find some peace in understanding that life is not meant to be the same for every person and that accepting my experiential aesthetic can help bolster confidence. Still, "people" (whoever that is) don't often understand "flaking" or missing out on in-person events... it can be extremely hard. I've had to deal with this because of anxiety and chronic pain, bleck. 

[Purple_Panda]

Just chiming in lightly.

I read through the thread and it is enlightening. I do not suffer from anxiety, at least that I can see; however, my wife certainly does and I've been trying to learn more. Thank you for the posts, it provides insight for someone that doesn't always understand what is causing a loved ones anxiety/panic attacks.

[Sachiko*Kawaii]

Just chiming in lightly.

I read through the thread and it is enlightening. I do not suffer from anxiety, at least that I can see; however, my wife certainly does and I've been trying to learn more. Thank you for the posts, it provides insight for someone that doesn't always understand what is causing a loved ones anxiety/panic attacks.

 

I'm really glad to hear that this thread has help you in understanding your wife a bit better. I know she'll super appreciate that you want to be for her whenever she's in a moment of struggle. Gosh, I want a man like that in my life! *sigh* It sounds like your doing your best to be a loving husband. Willingness and giving your best efforts is what counts most in any relationship.

[Sachiko*Kawaii]

[Madam_Patella]

Hello all, just chiming in from my current anixiety/depression view.

I don't quite understand why people find therapy helpful. In the past I was made to go to individual sessions and found little help in them. Generally I felt worse after the sessions than I had for the entire time between them. I don't trust my parents very much anymore since they sent me to therapy when I was in highschool. Nearly every day they'd remind me of whatever my therapist had told them I needed to do. They'd keep saying that they had to get me outside to 'desensitize me' like I was a temperamental dog that didn't play well with others. Whenever I went out with my mum, she'd tell me afterwards that she thought I 'did well with the stress' even though it was just grocery shopping. When I asked them to let up a bit, they would remind me of what I didn't do one time months before. All of this because I did what I thought was right and confided to my mum about some of what I was going through at the time. I could hardly do a thing without thinking that I was supposed to do this or that to fix myself. My therapist often said that I wasn't trying hard enough or 'fully committing to the treatment'.

 

Sorry, that was a long, bitter rant. Has anyone had a similar experience when they were young? People say that therapy is the one thing you have to do when you have trouble with anxiety. What do you do when it actually seems to worsen the situation, but it's not your decision whether or not you go?

[kaelvan]

Hello all, just chiming in from my current anixiety/depression view.

I don't quite understand why people find therapy helpful. In the past I was made to go to individual sessions and found little help in them. Generally I felt worse after the sessions than I had for the entire time between them. I don't trust my parents very much anymore since they sent me to therapy when I was in highschool. Nearly every day they'd remind me of whatever my therapist had told them I needed to do. They'd keep saying that they had to get me outside to 'desensitize me' like I was a temperamental dog that didn't play well with others. Whenever I went out with my mum, she'd tell me afterwards that she thought I 'did well with the stress' even though it was just grocery shopping. When I asked them to let up a bit, they would remind me of what I didn't do one time months before. All of this because I did what I thought was right and confided to my mum about some of what I was going through at the time. I could hardly do a thing without thinking that I was supposed to do this or that to fix myself. My therapist often said that I wasn't trying hard enough or 'fully committing to the treatment'.

 

Sorry, that was a long, bitter rant. Has anyone had a similar experience when they were young? People say that therapy is the one thing you have to do when you have trouble with anxiety. What do you do when it actually seems to worsen the situation, but it's not your decision whether or not you go?

Yup, good portion of my depression/anxiety. My parents weren't always the best.

 

My first therapist wasn't an ideal match. I ended up in the hospital (for third time!) after (forget what number) session with her. After talking with her, I ended up checking in the hospital down the road.

 

My next therapist was the best. Helped I got a geek. He actually was able to explain the words I had hard time telling my parents. Somethings I did, most people look at and think 'oh she just wants attention and is over dramatic'. He could actually explain it pretty easily.

 

I think it's all about who you get as a therapist. Maybe look for another. Or maybe find a support group for people with depression/anxiety.

 

But your parents shouldn't be treating you like that. You have mental illness. It's lot like having any other illness. It shouldn't be treated any different.

 

Maybe if you are confident, maybe sit down with your parents and explain how you are feeling about how they bring xyz and how they are treating you. You have to advocate for yourself (since no one knows yourself more than you).

[Madam_Patella]

Thanks, Kay. I often have trouble simply expressing what I want/need. We'd never really been the kind of family that shared everything. That combined with my distinct dislike of 'manning up' and taking my share of blame makes life more difficult than it has to be. I give my parents a hard time, but they only did what they thought would help.

[kaelvan]

Thanks, Kay. I often have trouble simply expressing what I want/need. We'd never really been the kind of family that shared everything. That combined with my distinct dislike of 'manning up' and taking my share of blame makes life more difficult than it has to be. I give my parents a hard time, but they only did what they thought would help.

Yeah I still working on my 'manning up' skills and taking my share of the blame. So good luck dear.