Challenge YOUR body image.

[insanity]

Oh dear... Search "drum corps international", you'll find all sorts of everything. Don't get too creepy though, there are lots of minors! 

LOL... I was talking about a shirtless drum corps... that's close to how you made it sound above. :-)

[Silo]

 

The guy on the right's hair is...fascinating. It reminds me of one of these.

 

[Silo]

 

The guy on the right's hair is...fascinating. It reminds me of one of these.

 

[redtomato501]

LOL... I was talking about a shirtless drum corps... that's close to how you made it sound above. :-)

I'm pretty sure that's EVERY drum corps off the field, though. Shirts are superfluous during practice. Some cg apparently think shorts are too, although I never went that far.

[Br0din]

 

 

This is me during Golf season except I also have sock tan lines and glove tan line on my right hand only.

[Silo]

This is me during Golf season except I also have sock tan lines and glove tan line on my right hand only.

 

 

My husband drives around a lot for his job and his left arm is always tan from his elbow down in the summer. His right arm...not so much.

[Silo]

As usual, I am not up to date on such things.

 

Wait, Situation? Oh excuse me, Mr. The Situation?

[insanity]

As usual, I am not up to date on such things.

 

Wait, Situation? Oh excuse me, Mr. The Situation?

Yeah... this is another "If you lived under a rock for a while, those guys are no reason to come out"

[insanity]

Correct

 

They've all moved on [and back to New York]

Now if we could just get rid of the memory....

[Silo]

Yeah... this is another "If you lived under a rock for a while, those guys are no reason to come out"

 

Aha, I see.

 

*wiggles back down into her underground lair*

[insanity]

They're a Cautionary Tale ... A "don't let this happen to YOUR Boardwalk" story

 

If we forget or ignore, it COULD all happen again

 

I hate it when you make sense....

 

[Waldo]

So yeah, way behind in this thread, but....

 

hblyne, I think there's a lot of truth to that. It certainly plays in a role in our relationship dynamic. Not to give TMI, but while our sex life is pretty darn good once we're there, it would be great if I wasn't so resistant to spontaneity.

 

We need to start a stop avoiding sexy times club.  We could make t-shirts, but that would rather defeat the purpose, no?

I'm not sure body image is that much of a component of spontaneity. My wife has had long term body image issues, and though she has mostly gotten past them (she actually let me take a pic of her in her underwear!!!), there are still some hangups (the lights....). But that hasn't really helped at all with spontaneity.

I'm not sure true spontaneity is actually a thing unless both partners are very high libido (or young). To me it is more of a myth and an ideal that people cling to. And lazy. I suspect the vast majority of women (talking your average high drive man/low drive woman couple) need some warming up to the idea of sex, deciding to do it right now and doing it is a once in a blue moon thing (for it to work, a guy would have to come on very, very strong; aka not asking like a nice guy, pin her down and take it (obv this is in the context of a married couple)). Most women need to be hunted. This fact is sadly lost on most guys, who just have never learned that (I suspect many women don't understand it either).

It took me a very long time to figure this out, a long time with strict scheduled sex (way TMI, but...). I came to learn over time that they difference between an "ugh, lets get this over with" and "OMG" had to do with if she was reminded it was sex day, when I made the reminder(s), and how I made the reminders(s). Almost without fail, the more I pressed the hunt, the better it turned out.

The lesson learned was rolling over and asking nicely in bed was a no 99% of the time. Pursuing the prize for a day or two very directly OTOH was successful virtually every time, on top of that she was much, much more into it. Most women need to let the idea of sex marinate a bit before coming to a yes. And it is the guys job to hunt pretty much 100% of the time.

If guys were taught this somehow before getting married, I'm pretty sure married couples would be having WAY more sex.

 

For most Americans it seems that the only naked/near naked people they see are those in magazines all air brushed and perfect and so we're lead to believe that anything other than that is not good. Maybe if we were to accept nude beaches etc we'd actually get to see more typical bodies and realize that that's totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

I would say this is much more true of one sex than the other.

Statements like this tend to miss that there is a very large industry that exists to show naked bodies, and that pretty much every male partakes to a degree (though many would claim otherwise). The bodies in much of the porn industry are far more real than those in the rest of the entertainment industry. Airbrushing and fakeness are relics of decades ago. And while yes there are a lot of hollywood "perfect" bodies, that is only a part of the picture (eg, real large chests don't come on skinny girls, men are very attracted to big chests).

Men are far more accepting of the variability of the female body than females are, and the adult industry is likely a major culprit in that. For all the negatives of that industry, this is definitely one of the positives.

I always get a kick out of it when I see women talking about some plus size models, how she's still small, or how she's real, etc..., always angry at how she is characterized by the entertainment industry (or their perception of how she's categorized), yet that plus size model has a very average and typical (and desireable) porn body, and I'm pretty sure just about every male is thinking the exact same thing, they are just too afraid to say it.

[shesavedtheworldalot]

So yeah, way behind in this thread, but....

I'm not sure body image is that much of a component of spontaneity. My wife has had long term body image issues, and though she has mostly gotten past them (she actually let me take a pic of her in her underwear!!!), there are still some hangups (the lights....). But that hasn't really helped at all with spontaneity.

I'm not sure true spontaneity is actually a thing unless both partners are very high libido (or young). To me it is more of a myth and an ideal that people cling to. And lazy. I suspect the vast majority of women (talking your average high drive man/low drive woman couple) need some warming up to the idea of sex, deciding to do it right now and doing it is a once in a blue moon thing (for it to work, a guy would have to come on very, very strong; aka not asking like a nice guy, pin her down and take it (obv this is in the context of a married couple)). Most women need to be hunted. This fact is sadly lost on most guys, who just have never learned that (I suspect many women don't understand it either).

It took me a very long time to figure this out, a long time with strict scheduled sex (way TMI, but...). I came to learn over time that they difference between an "ugh, lets get this over with" and "OMG" had to do with if she was reminded it was sex day, when I made the reminder(s), and how I made the reminders(s). Almost without fail, the more I pressed the hunt, the better it turned out.

The lesson learned was rolling over and asking nicely in bed was a no 99% of the time. Pursuing the prize for a day or two very directly OTOH was successful virtually every time, on top of that she was much, much more into it. Most women need to let the idea of sex marinate a bit before coming to a yes. And it is the guys job to hunt pretty much 100% of the time.

If guys were taught this somehow before getting married, I'm pretty sure married couples would be having WAY more sex.

What????????  Beyond the way hetero-focused ness of ALL of this:

 

Spontaneity is TOTALLY related to body image.  "Do you want to have sex?" has a lot in common with the question, "Can I see you naked/seminaked/unclothed in some way?"  Which, if you're not comfortable with your body, makes you pretty quickly go, "Nope."  Really kills any kind of spontaneity.  

 

Second, this whole thing is pretty sexist.  In lots of couples, women have the higher sex drive!  Not to mention that spontaneity has nothing to do with being "pinned down."  Women don't need to be hunted.  We're not pieces of meat.  People like to be pursued.  People, both male and female, like to feel like they're wanted not just an object with which to have sexual congress.  And yes, to make people feel like they're wanted, you have to make some gestures towards that notion, depending on what your partner wants.

 

Third, I have no idea what any of this has to do with being married.  Non married couples have sex.  Married couples have sex.  Either can have as much or as little in any way that they desire.  (The Supreme Court said so, and I'm here to back it up!)

 

[SevenofSeven]

Non married couples have sex.

I'm glad you said this, I thought I might have been doing something wrong! 😉

[Dleffe]

Eh from experience and what I heard from others women will have a decent to high libido the first 3-6 months of a relationship. Then it just tapers of to once, maybe twice a week if you're lucky. Ive tried just about anything to fix that issue aside from spiking my GF's food. I always called bullshit when a friend told me I'd watch more porn once I had a steady relationship, guess who had the last laugh there -.-

[Waldo]

What????????  Beyond the way hetero-focused ness of ALL of this:

 

Spontaneity is TOTALLY related to body image.  "Do you want to have sex?" has a lot in common with the question, "Can I see you naked/seminaked/unclothed in some way?"  Which, if you're not comfortable with your body, makes you pretty quickly go, "Nope."  Really kills any kind of spontaneity.  

 

Second, this whole thing is pretty sexist.  In lots of couples, women have the higher sex drive!  Not to mention that spontaneity has nothing to do with being "pinned down."  Women don't need to be hunted.  We're not pieces of meat.  People like to be pursued.  People, both male and female, like to feel like they're wanted not just an object with which to have sexual congress.  And yes, to make people feel like they're wanted, you have to make some gestures towards that notion, depending on what your partner wants.

 

Third, I have no idea what any of this has to do with being married.  Non married couples have sex.  Married couples have sex.  Either can have as much or as little in any way that they desire.  (The Supreme Court said so, and I'm here to back it up!)

 

Body image is nothing more than an excuse. There is widespread belief that removing all the excuses will allow for spontaneity, yet this is for the most part complete and utter horseshit. Any void of excuse will just be filled with another. Where there is actual desire, there are no excuses. Its just a fact that few women can go from zero to ready in an instant (or at least do so more often than once in a blue moon).

Higher drive female/lower drive male is a definite minority. It is so much the case that the common joke "how do you kill a man's sex life" Get married." is pretty much an accepted fact that noone disputes; and pretty much every show on TV that touches on this issue does so from that point of view. It is totally an excepted part of our culture.

Women don't pursue men. Well some might, but that is a small minority. Male pursuing the female is standard operating procedure as taught by pretty much all of society from middle school dances on up. Man up as they say. (Ignoring for a moment the extremely aggressive middle age female, yes I know that is a thing).

And it does have a lot to do with marriage, once in a legally binding relationship, there tends to be quite a bit of relaxing, especially over time. Lack of satisfaction in an unmarried couple is MUCH more likely to lead to a breakup (and much more quickly) than in a married couple, where there are financial assets at play and the man ALWAYS loses.

Anyway, feminism at this point is an excuse to be angry and little more. They won years ago. For women to have equal rights to men, they'd have to take away from women. Call me sexist, but its no less sexist than the feminist POV.

[Waldo]

Darn it, stupid double.

[Thrillho]

 

 

And it is the guys job to hunt pretty much 100% of the time.

If guys were taught this somehow before getting married, I'm pretty sure married couples would be having WAY more sex.

 

Just my two cents, but... My wife's forum is pretty much thousands of women who complain EVERY TIME MEN DO THIS.  

[Suited hippy]

As I interpreted Waldo's post, "The hunt" is not harassing your woman for sex, it is wooing her, pursuing her, making her want it. 

[Br0din]

As I interpreted Waldo's post, "The hunt" is not harassing your woman for sex, it is wooing her, pursuing her, making her want it. 

 

That is how I read it too.

[Thrillho]

I'm reading those as... the same thing, as well?  The guy asks, the woman says no... so the guy asks again, and again, and again.  And pursues her.  And tries to "make" her want something she's expressed no interest in. And generally hunts her, as though she were a prize to be gained and not a woman with a brain.

[Br0din]

I'm reading those as... the same thing, as well?  The guy asks, the woman says no... so the guy asks again, and again, and again.  And pursues her.  And tries to "make" her want something she's expressed no interest in. And generally hunts her, as though she were a prize to be gained and not a woman with a brain.

 

I can also see how rebuffed attempts are seen as harassing in nature and Waldo's point is that there is a way that works that is more detailed than "suck me beautiful."  He found the way and his relationship is stronger.

[Reyna]

I think there are two types of "hunting". Nagging-which is basically what Thrillho is describing; and wooing (for want of a better word).

 

Nagging is easy.

 

Wooing...well, I'd think it would be different for every woman. For me, and I know it is so cliche, but when Hubs does the dishes? Or handles bathtime without me? Or, heck, just makes sure the kids pick up the playroom (correctly!)? It won't get me all the way in the mood but it'll turn a "hell no" into a "maybe". Getting those 10-20 minute breaks gives me a chance to unwind and being relaxed sure helps up the sexy hormone rather than being stressed trying to juggle kids and house, especially in the evening when its chaotic here.  

[Hit]

I love it when a bunch of men show up to explain our sexuality to us.

[Thrillho]

Wooing...well, I'd think it would be different for every woman. For me, and I know it is so cliche, but when Hubs does the dishes? Or handles bathtime without me? Or, heck, just makes sure the kids pick up the playroom (correctly!)? It won't get me all the way in the mood but it'll turn a "hell no" into a "maybe". 

 

"Husband performs bare minimum responsibilities without asking for a cookie" = "Wooing".

 

I am clearly out of touch. And old.