Advice for College Introvert

[Aegle]

Hi all,

 

I'm a student who is wondering how I can make my college experience more epic. I study a lot and tend to keep to myself. However, I'm not antisocial; I just prefer meaningful conversations and activities with close friends as opposed to partying and drinking. But, I haven't made any close friends and am still trying to find my niche on campus. I always thought college would be the best years of my life but now that it's here it's not that exciting. I want to make great friends and do inspiring things, but this dream is far from my current situation. Any advice is appreciated. 

[Chrestomanci]

I would recommend joining a group or a club that shares one of your interests, as it is a good way to meet people who like doing the same things that you do.

 

There are usually a million clubs so finding the right fit shouldn't be too hard. There are even College Quidditch teams now! I totally would have joined that if they had one at my college

[TMedina]

Qualify, or quantify, what you think of as "epic" - did you picture something like "Animal House"?  Or "Frat Party XVII"?  Or just something more than what you're doing now?

 

I'm going out on a limb and suggest you're probably not the wild drunken reveler - so what are your interests?  What kinds of epic memories do you want to make?

 

Chrestomanci's suggestion is a good one - find peers with similar interests and start brainstorming about the kinds of things you might do as a group (road trip!)

 

Check out your local rec center on campus - odds are they have outdoor trips for people to sign up and go outdoorsing.  

 

Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity - learn how to build.  Take classes at your local Home Depot, or see what HfH will teach you.

[Steppinon D'Arrows]

Take your time. You'll find some sort of epic niche. Keep an eye out for opportunities but do not force yourself into something you don't want to do just to do something social. At the same time, go for things you get nervous at the thought of doing but still wish you could do as long as they're not something foolishly dangerous. As William Shakespeare once wrote, "This above all: to thine own self be true." (Not sure about the punctuation on that one, or the wording, but the point still stands) Also, be careful about giving anyone money. He said that, too.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Hi all,

 

I'm a student who is wondering how I can make my college experience more epic. I study a lot and tend to keep to myself. However, I'm not antisocial; I just prefer meaningful conversations and activities with close friends as opposed to partying and drinking. But, I haven't made any close friends and am still trying to find my niche on campus. I always thought college would be the best years of my life but now that it's here it's not that exciting. I want to make great friends and do inspiring things, but this dream is far from my current situation. Any advice is appreciated. 

 

Don't give into it. I did, and just hung out with my same friends with high school all the time (I went to school locally), and my girlfriend from high school who I went to college with and was the same major (now my wifey), and I regret not taking that opportunity to ecpand my horizons more.

 

What hobbies are you into? The key to making friends is having common interests, so if you can find groups dedicated to a hobby you have, that covers that part. Into nerdy gaming? There's plenty of groups on every campus that are into that. Same thing with video games, or sports.

[Draken50]

I gave myself the specific goal of trying have stories worth telling. Mostly though the key is getting out, going elsewhere, and eventually you might even talk to strangers. Nothing different happens in the same places. Go explore, even if it's just studying in a new place. I was a people watcher, so I went places with people and watched them, hijinx ensued and my small town friends always had a hard time understanding why my life seemed so much more interesting.

 

Simple answer, I got out.

 

I went salsa dancing, I couldn't dance well, didn't end up on the floor much aside from the lesson, and even then only because I was asked (I'm a dude).

I went to a goth club... in a Hawaiian t-shirt.

I played Magic the gathering with some dudes and went to a poker night were everyone else spoke spanish... I don't know spanish and I was the first one out, but at a 5 dollar buy-in it was cheap and made a good story.

 

So yeah, so worry less about what you're going to do when your there and just go ... do stuff... some days/nights will be duds, but you'll have some pretty good ones too.

[metakiiro]

A few tips on overall community involvement:

• Look on meetup.com and see if there are any groups in your area that are focused on an area of interest. There are groups that meet to hike, bike, power walk, do yoga, juggle, play cards, jam, watch movies, and just about anything else you can imagine, as well as groups devoted to philosophy, history, nature and lots of other things. You'll meet a lot of people of a wide array of ages with similar interests, which is sometimes better than just hanging out with your peers.
• Look for deals and try new things. A lot of places offer student discounts or promotional offers aimed towards younger folks. Look for activities that would be open to individuals, like gyms, yoga or dance classes, boxing clubs, art classes, etc. 
• Go on group excursions with groups from college. Most weekends there will be some sort of activity or trip available on campus that sponsored by a club, organization, or various other entities. My college was fairly small, but they still managed to have something going on almost every weekend. Trips to see plays or concerts nearby cities, Ultimate Frisbee on Saturday afternoons, mini golf on Sunday evenings, poetry readings in the student union, foreign film nights...
• If you live in an area with a Unitarian Universalist congregation, consider checking there for some activities. Most UU congregations are very liberal and open-minded and they are very involved in their communities. The UU near my home offers a lot of activities for younger people, including philosophy seminars, bellydancing classes, opportunities to tutor disadvantaged kids, a choir, a community orchestra, a board game group...yeah, it's a pretty eclectic mix. 
• Check with your local library and see if there are any classes or groups meeting there that you may like to attend. Most of the activities/classes will be free. Most libraries will accept volunteers as well, and sometimes they will hire you to work as a page or with the computers or to work in summer programs if you prove yourself worthy.

That's all I got for now. Maybe it helps?

[kaelvan]

Why not make a challenge with yourself to talk to atleast one random person a day? Could be good way to meet some cool people. Plus, it basically slowly making it easier to talk to people.

[jfreaksho]

At a college there should be plenty of organizations to participate in.  I did fencing, my wife did taekwondo, my friend did wenhuado,  Participating in a foreign language club was huge for me.  There were tons of people, both english speakers and non-.  We'd get together and hang out and have a good time.  A lot of larger universities have contract to offer scuba classes for credit.  I took a guitar class, but could just as easily have taken piano.  Photographers, Rube Goldberg machine builders, hikers, runners, weightlifters, painters, sculptors, musicians... there are so many different people you could meet by going out and doing things.

 

My suggestion: get out and do something.  There will be people there.  Even better if it is something you have no idea how to do and don't know if you will like it.

[phobos28km]

My advice: be open to new things. 

 

Also, delay graduating as long as you possibly can : )

[benboyd85]

At my university I ended up taking some free classes in my interest that were offered (art), and I met a lot of great people that way. If those are not available to you, then there is most likely a group that has your same interests, you just have to look for them!

[doc_apoo]

As someone who sort of went to college right after high school and is now going to college with a full-time job and family, my advice is this: 

 

College is a vehicle to get you where you need (or want) to go. 

 

Life isn't broken down into segments.  You're "college years" are still your life.  Unless you are unhappy with your current situation, you don't need to change a damn thing.  I partied.  I partied hard and I'm now paying the price for it.  There is no typical college experience and anybody that tells you college is a 4 year party doesn't take it seriously and probably has someone else footing the bill. 

Just make small changes, amigo.  You don't need an earth-shattering, world-ending set of moves to enjoy your time.  All the above advice is good advice.  Small, slow and steady and you'll win.  At life, I mean.  You don't get medals, as much as it saddens me to say. 

[smbuckley23]

Hi all,

 

I'm a student who is wondering how I can make my college experience more epic. I study a lot and tend to keep to myself. However, I'm not antisocial; I just prefer meaningful conversations and activities with close friends as opposed to partying and drinking. But, I haven't made any close friends and am still trying to find my niche on campus. I always thought college would be the best years of my life but now that it's here it's not that exciting. I want to make great friends and do inspiring things, but this dream is far from my current situation. Any advice is appreciated. 

 

Honestly I feel like I could have written this. I just got done with my freshman year and I don't party at all and I ended up feeling alone the entire year, and I'm very outgoing! But, like you, I prefer situations with real conversations and real friends, not just a bunch of random bodies smushed together in a dark, damp basement with half full beer cans laying everywhere.