Asperger/Autism/PDD/HFA Safe Space

[Bekah]

So question. Anyone else here have a crushing fetish?

crushing...as in manually crushing objects, or crushing on people?

I tend to hyperfocus on people I like, which is not necessarily a good thing, but I have never had much interest in crushing objects. Fetishes of other kinds...I have many.

[Machete]

Like getting crushed yourself. I like it, and not even in the weird sex way.

[Ayla14]

I actually have Non Verbal Learning Disorder or at least that is what I was diagnosed with formally before they added"Well it is better that you explain to people that you are an Aspy instead because you exhibit the same characteristics and from what we understand it is around the same thing. (Correct me if I am wrong I honestly don't know).

 

Regardless I also have a hard time breaking from routine, social cues etc. When I was younger and before I was diagnosed at age 20 (I'm 24 now) I went through years of people thinking I was overdramatic, overemotional and a homebody. I would get headaches at birthday parties (my own and others) because there was just too many people and noises. I would just get too angry over very simple things or a change in plans. OH THE CHANGE IN PLANS. Such a huge trigger for me for a meltdown. I will physically go into autopilot and get the "blank stare" that my friends, family and now boyfriend have grown accostumed to.  School was a nightmare socially for me and some factors of my academics (mostly math) would leave my parents bewildered. From time to time they would get frustrated claiming I MUST be just lazy or not trying hard enough even though we all didn't realize it was just hard for me to process certain things.

 

I have never felt my disorder so keenly in my life more than in these recent months. After my diagnoses it took a lot of self awareness to figure out why I would be throwing myself into a temper tantrum for very silly reasons. My boyfriend and I for example had planned after work that we would grab dinner and than clean his room. That was the plan in my head and well that was that. So when my boyfriend had to switch out his shift I FREAKED OUT.  I felt like my brain is being stuck in one of those padded helmets and a barrage of nonsensical mean jabs (toward him) came flying out of my mouth.  It's awful and I always apologize once I feel myself being righted back into normalcy. But god it is hard. I threw another tantrum last night and as always it took me an hour to finally calm down and anaylze what happened.  But my boyfriend always apologizes for triggering it or he just patiently waits until I "come back" as it were. 

 

It's nice to know that he is another person I can add to my very short list of people who know me truly inside and out. Because those friends and those loved ones is what honestly helps at the end of the day.

[Bekah]

Like getting crushed yourself. I like it, and not even in the weird sex way.

 

 

oh that!!! LOL! yes. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. J weighs like 270 and I make him lay on top of me on the bed all the time. Apparently it's a pretty common thing for Aspies to either LOVE deep pressure like that, or HATE it. Apparently swimming in very deep water also has the same effect, which explains my love for Scuba Diving. A friend of mine, who has an ASD child, had a pool built in his backyard for just that reason, so when his son is having a rough day, he makes him go swimming in the pool..

 

short answer YES! I LOVE THAT! Come lay on me, and I will half lay on you, so you don't die  

[Bekah]

I actually have Non Verbal Learning Disorder or at least that is what I was diagnosed with formally before they added"Well it is better that you explain to people that you are an Aspy instead because you exhibit the same characteristics and from what we understand it is around the same thing. (Correct me if I am wrong I honestly don't know).

 

Regardless I also have a hard time breaking from routine, social cues etc. When I was younger and before I was diagnosed at age 20 (I'm 24 now) I went through years of people thinking I was overdramatic, overemotional and a homebody. I would get headaches at birthday parties (my own and others) because there was just too many people and noises. I would just get too angry over very simple things or a change in plans. OH THE CHANGE IN PLANS. Such a huge trigger for me for a meltdown. I will physically go into autopilot and get the "blank stare" that my friends, family and now boyfriend have grown accostumed to.  School was a nightmare socially for me and some factors of my academics (mostly math) would leave my parents bewildered. From time to time they would get frustrated claiming I MUST be just lazy or not trying hard enough even though we all didn't realize it was just hard for me to process certain things.

 

I have never felt my disorder so keenly in my life more than in these recent months. After my diagnoses it took a lot of self awareness to figure out why I would be throwing myself into a temper tantrum for very silly reasons. My boyfriend and I for example had planned after work that we would grab dinner and than clean his room. That was the plan in my head and well that was that. So when my boyfriend had to switch out his shift I FREAKED OUT.  I felt like my brain is being stuck in one of those padded helmets and a barrage of nonsensical mean jabs (toward him) came flying out of my mouth.  It's awful and I always apologize once I feel myself being righted back into normalcy. But god it is hard. I threw another tantrum last night and as always it took me an hour to finally calm down and anaylze what happened.  But my boyfriend always apologizes for triggering it or he just patiently waits until I "come back" as it were. 

 

It's nice to know that he is another person I can add to my very short list of people who know me truly inside and out. Because those friends and those loved ones is what honestly helps at the end of the day.

I want a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/anyone like yours!!!!

I'm glad he is so great and that you are understanding yourself better As far as I know, Aspergers/NVLD/HFA/PDD/PDD-NOS are all pretty much the same thing within the symptom cluster with a minor difference or two among them...so really I don't think it matters other than to insurance agencies and healthcare providers, and understanding (and being able to effectively communicate) your particular traits and presentation of symptoms is the important part. 

[alienjenn]

Zombie has a hard time understanding personal boundaries (yes soon we CAN sit on the couch together without you on my lap) ands he says the best hugs are the hard ones

[kaelvan]

When I'm listening to people, I end up lot of times giving a blank face. Most people think I'm not listening, but if they were to ask what they were talking about, I'd be able to tell them everything they said. Though I do daydream (basically most of my day, since most of my life is pretty uneventful).

[Castiel]

oh that!!! LOL! yes. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. J weighs like 270 and I make him lay on top of me on the bed all the time. Apparently it's a pretty common thing for Aspies to either LOVE deep pressure like that, or HATE it. Apparently swimming in very deep water also has the same effect, which explains my love for Scuba Diving. A friend of mine, who has an ASD child, had a pool built in his backyard for just that reason, so when his son is having a rough day, he makes him go swimming in the pool..

 

short answer YES! I LOVE THAT! Come lay on me, and I will half lay on you, so you don't die

 

I have one of those heavy back pillow things (a husband? Is that what they are called), and when I'm stressed/overwhelmed and have trouble sleeping, I like to put it on top of my head. That, combined with heavy blankets, has always had a very comforting effect on me.

 

This reminds me, I miss my cat from when I was little. She often slept on my chest.

[Machete]

Here's a very touching segment from the Radiolab Podcast that I just heard: Juicervose

[Thrillho]

*grumbles jealously at people with understanding partners and whatnot* 

 

Fortunately, my kids love to snuggle up with me, so that helps on bad days (and two of them are way the heck up on the spectrum). 

[SevenofSeven]

When teaching swimming with Aspie kids or other kids on the spectrum, I have a hard time getting them to keep their heads above the water. They love just sitting on the bottom of the pool. I get it though, it's fucking awesome just floating, no noise, pressure on the body, dulling the senses, just serene!

[Castiel]

I have a question about something that happened tonight, that maybe you guys would be able to sympathize with, or at least tell me I'm not completely crazy, since most of the stuff people give me blank stares about or don't understand why I'm upset seems to match stuff you talk about here.

 

I work in a restaurant, and we had a really long, rather stressful shift, and afterwards, a friend and I went to get burgers at a local bar. I don't like noisy bars, but this one isn't too bad and I can normally filter out the music and other people. However, tonight I just couldn't stop hearing everything at once. It was terrible having this ruckus going on in my head that I couldn't tune out to focus on what my friend was saying. It wasn't that I couldn't hear her, it was just that I had trouble focus in on her voice over the other the other sounds. Even when we weren't talking (it's really nice, sometimes we sit and don't talk, so I don't have to be afraid of saying something stupid), it was really awful feeling since there was just this noise that should have been background, but instead my brain was trying to follow every conversation at once and listen to the music, creating chaos. It was a very unpleasant experience.

[Artinum]

No, I can relate to that. It generally happens when I'm tired, too.

 

I think for NTs the whole "filter out background noise" thing is automatic. For aspies, we have to learn to do it. Most of the time we can, and we can focus on what we're interested in - but it takes effort, and when our brains get tired or over-stressed, it becomes very difficult.

 

I'm sure your friend would understand if you asked to go somewhere quieter. If she doesn't know about the AS, you could tell her you're getting a headache instead.

[Machete]

Everyone has a threshold. Even the common folk have a point of stress where they just shut down. Ours may just be at a much lower level. It could be the overstimulation, or for myself, it's probably the inability to multi-task (primarily because of my penis). During a very stressful day going to the grocery to get flaxseed is like trying to find your friend who you lost at a dubstep concert, or that club from the opening scene of Blade. (I have been to neither.) I tend to go closer to the "full retard" side, actually observing my body language close up and not being able to do much about it.

[Castiel]

No, I can relate to that. It generally happens when I'm tired, too.

 

I think for NTs the whole "filter out background noise" thing is automatic. For aspies, we have to learn to do it. Most of the time we can, and we can focus on what we're interested in - but it takes effort, and when our brains get tired or over-stressed, it becomes very difficult.

 

Okay, glad I'm not alone in this one. I can handle it most of the time. A lot of times it feels like the world is an audio version of a magic eye drawing. With practice I can usually pick out the right patterns very quickly, but sometimes all that's there is the noise.

 

 

 

I'm sure your friend would understand if you asked to go somewhere quieter.

She's really sweet. When we went in, we sat in a table in the back like we normally do, but there was a group in the back that was rowdy and making me really uncomfortable, and she suggested we move to a different seat then.

 

If she doesn't know about the AS, you could tell her you're getting a headache instead.

 

She knows about as much as I do, I think. One of my other co-workers is married to an aspie, and she's the one who said she thinks I am, and I think my whole workplace is kind of on the same page. As of right now, AS really is just something I'm reading about which seems to help explain some difficult parts of my life.

 

What's funny as I'm reading isn't so much the "Oh wow, there are other people who feel like this," so much as, "Wait, there are people who don't?" Example: I was just reading that eye pain from close stripes is more of an ASD thing. I thought that everyone was like that.

[Artinum]

 

What's funny as I'm reading isn't so much the "Oh wow, there are other people who feel like this," so much as, "Wait, there are people who don't?" Example: I was just reading that eye pain from close stripes is more of an ASD thing. I thought that everyone was like that.

 

 

I don't think I know that one. I feel I drew the short straw with my autism - I'd love to be able to learn languages within a week like that Daniel fellow. As it is, the only language I picked up in anything like that timeframe was SQL.

[SevenofSeven]

Had some really sad news today, devastating actually.

There is a couple who are in the Ambulance here in town, this morning they found their autistic son deceased in the toilet, he was only 21.

He was not high functioning but functional enough to be able to live independently for periods of time. He was an over eater, he didn't have that "full" feeling so he just ate and ate. They did what they could to help him with this but they couldn't monitor him all the time, they both worked full time.

The wife who is such a great person is going to be devastated.

My heart goes out to them.

Just had to share.........this has affected all of us in the Ambulance, we all knew him and loved him.

[alienjenn]

Omg I can't even imagine

My heart hurts now

[Bekah]

Oh no /( I'm sorry for your loss

[Guzzi]

Oh God! I'm so sorry. That's just awful.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SevenofSeven]

Thanks guys.

[SevenofSeven]

Found out Aortic Aneurism, nothing anybody could have done. Just one of those things.

[alienjenn]

HUGS

[Machete]

What do we think about this?

 

Stafford County woman confronts issues of race, autism after son's arrest

 

Ruth Marcus: In Virginia, a cruel and unusual punishment for autism

[alienjenn]

What do we think about this?

 

Stafford County woman confronts issues of race, autism after son's arrest

 

Ruth Marcus: In Virginia, a cruel and unusual punishment for autism

 

 

I think I want to scream