Asperger/Autism/PDD/HFA Safe Space

[Bekah]

I think I cant read those in my current state of stress, but I probably will want to kill people.

[Artinum]

What do we think about this?

 

Stafford County woman confronts issues of race, autism after son's arrest

 

Ruth Marcus: In Virginia, a cruel and unusual punishment for autism

 

It's tragic, but there's no blame to be apportioned. From the young man's viewpoint, he didn't do anything wrong and he should not have been treated this way - but we're reading this in full possession of the facts.

 

From the officer's viewpoint, he finds a young man sat outside the library while said building is not open. This is unusual. The young man matches the description of a suspect (perhaps vaguely, and there could be racial issues here, but this is wandering off the topic). The officer asks the young man to explain what he's doing there and for identification.

 

At this point, because he's autistic, the young man does not react in the normal manner. He may have been confused by the questions and started freaking out (been there, done that, been tackled to the ground by security teams as a result - what fun!). There's reference to the young man striking the officer - this is entirely feasible for a meltdown.

 

The officer responds with pepper spray as the young man has turned violent, and then resorts to sterner responses when this fails. This is an entirely legitimate response when dealing with, say, a criminal resisting arrest, and 99% of the time this would be exactly what the officer was dealing with.

 

It's easy to say this was wrong in hindsight, because we know something that was not known at the time. I cannot lay any blame on the officer for carrying out his duty as he thought best at the time. If he'd known the lad's condition at the time and still done so, it would be a different matter.

[Machete]

Precisely. Always two sides to the story, I honestly don't know which is true. (There are multiple accounts.) But in every story there always has to be a bad guy, and that's where the appropriation of blame, which we're always so caught up in, comes in. I may be naive in thinking that no person honestly believes that s/he is evil, but it's what I believe in deep inside. (It doesn't necessarily stop them from being morons though.) I think the idea that the criminal justice system seems to be built around retribution rather than rehabilitation (or even prevention) is what fucks all of us in the end. From a Utilitarian point of view, no good was produced, nobody was helped in the response to this unfortunate incident. Both were victims of a misunderstanding, but justice demanded that someone had to be punished. It happened to be the kid. It's a fucked-up world we live in.

[alienjenn]

I made my aspie a card and laminated it

 

it says 
 

 

My name is Chris ___

I have asperger's (this means am on the autistic spectrum)

I am showing you this card because I feel overwhelmed and unable to communicate properly at the moment

please call my mom at ***.***.**** and she will help me talk to you.

 

 

 

it helped him a LOT once he started getting out and going to after school programs... now he doesn't carry it much (because he is MUCH better at communicating with people) but he knows and will tell people "I feel overwhelmed and unable to communicate properly at the moment please call my mom"... I think this was the BEST thing I could do for him... because he has the tools he needs to get me in an emergency

[Thrillho]

I would love to do that for my son, but I know it would only make him angry and make him feel even more like an outcast (he goes from zero to BLISTERING FURY in pretty much no time flat). 

[Castiel]

I would love to do that for my son, but I know it would only make him angry and make him feel even more like an outcast (he goes from zero to BLISTERING FURY in pretty much no time flat).

I'm a grown ass man, and there are times is like to have this. Not to call my mom, but someone who knows me and can explain why I'm failing at communication. Luckily those situations aren't that common.

[Bekah]

ok kids....the topic for however long it remains, is sexual taboos, or what are perceived as such. Feel free to contribute as much or as little as possible and everything is going to be treated as a valid POV regardless of your opinion on the subject (not that I think we will struggle there)

I think Taboo is such a social construct and is SO different everywhere in the world, that the judgement around it and hatred, discrimination and violence because of it is just stupid. And while I don't agree with things like pedophilia, it's less about the people who are interested in it, and more about the respecting the human rights of children who don't have the capacity to advocate for themselves.

I am pretty much personally okay with whatever anyone wants as long as it doesnt hurt others, and I felt like this group of nerds would be the most like-minded on the subject!

[Castiel]

When I hear "taboo" I assume you are talking about incest or pedophilia or stuff like that, and those issues seem to be based in reality deeper than social convention.

Other than that, what two consenting adults get up to isn't my concern. Honestly, I don't really want any part of it, nor am I particularly interested in hearing about it, but that's just me.

[Machete]

ok kids....the topic for however long it remains, is sexual taboos, or what are perceived as such. Feel free to contribute as much or as little as possible and everything is going to be treated as a valid POV regardless of your opinion on the subject (not that I think we will struggle there)

I think Taboo is such a social construct and is SO different everywhere in the world, that the judgement around it and hatred, discrimination and violence because of it is just stupid. And while I don't agree with things like pedophilia, it's less about the people who are interested in it, and more about the respecting the human rights of children who don't have the capacity to advocate for themselves.

I am pretty much personally okay with whatever anyone wants as long as it doesnt hurt others, and I felt like this group of nerds would be the most like-minded on the subject!

 

I'm glad you brought this up. Time to put my thinking cap on. Sexual taboos, there's usually an underlying reason behind all of them. We might have outgrown these reasons as a society, but old habits die hard.

 

Incest, of course, minimizes genetic defects and evil boy-kings. But intercourse doesn't necessarily mean procreation anymore. I have nothing intrinsically against incest, some insanely rich families where I was from where inbred; it's just more associated with backward folks. But honestly I don't think you should go to prison or anything; consenting adults should be able to do whatever the hell they want, right? Luke had Leia, Jamie had Cersei, and these two have each other. Chuck Palahniuk's Rant had an interesting take on it. Then there are these two:

 

Of course some people may use it for the shock value:

 

 

Then there's the pedophile comment that people got so butthurt about. And I'm not really saying they're wrong for being so, I did use it on purpose to elicit the same feelings that conservative, "ignorant" people have about homosexual relations. I was just taken aback by how a marginalized group reacted so negatively and in turn marginalized a different group so quickly. I guess I just expected a group that knew exactly what it feels like to be discriminated against because of what turns them on to be more open about it. I mean right now pedophiles are about as taboo as homosexual and interracial couples were at some point. Some people still frown upon an Asian person being with a white person. Xenophobia.

 

There may be an evolutionary reason behind the taboo. Intercourse with someone before puberty is a useless venture after all, since no procreation can result from it. "Age of consent" is an arbitrary number and varies from state to state, because it's a made-up concept. Biological age has little to do with calendar age anyway, and "maturity" is really relative. I may not be mature enough to make sound decisions for myself at 30, it's just the law set by the society I live in saying that I would be. You're responsible enough to willingly die overseas for politics you don't understand at 18, but you're not responsible enough to consume alcohol until 3 years later.

 

What people fail to realize is that not every pedophile is a child molester. Assuming so would be kind of like saying every gay person is Gaetan Dugas, who allegedly spread "the gay cancer" on purpose. It is not a pedophile's choice to be aroused by children in the same way we cannot choose what arouses us. (Anyone who watched Lolita probably wouldn't place all the blame on Jeremy Irons.) In a survey of 531 undergraduate men 18 percent admitted to having sexual fantasies about children. Why else would the schoolgirl fantasy be so prevalent? Yes, raping a child is wrong, but I think raping anyone in the first place is wrong. The victim being a child is just draws a stronger emotional response out of us. With this mindset of people all banding together wanting to lynch the pedophile, how is a law-abiding pedophile--who is tempted to act upon his impulses but is trying his hardest not to--supposed to come forward and ask for help? Answer: he can't. Society would rather just wait for his willpower to finally run out so he can commit the crime and we can finally put him in prison or to death. Because fuck him for being turned on by something we are not (someone under 18). So who did we help in this situation? Not the child who was violated, and not the sick man trying his best to be a good citizen but failed. We got a man imprisoned/put to death and a child violated, just to satisfy our hatred and thirst for vengeance. Bravo.

 

Another [kind of] taboo topic in the US is prostitution. Maybe another issue of sexual morality, probably with church origins, and meaningless, non-procreative sex. But again, we're past that. George Carlin said, selling is legal, fucking is legal; why isn't selling fucking legal? One of the arguments is the slippery slope of exploitation (which is quite uncommon here since the internet made Pimpin' obsolete) and human trafficking, which are both wrong in the first place, prostitute or not. Some people look at sex as some kind of sacred thing that shouldn't be given away freely (otherwise one would be called a slut) and yet at the same time something that they deserve whenever they have a boner. Sex happens. Mom probably blew dad and dad probably did mom doggystyle. And maybe they weren't virgins when they met each other. That doesn't necessarily make them bad people. Nor should making a living giving another human pleasure. By looking down upon "hookers" we are not helping anyone; we are merely feeding our desire to hate a group of people who are not us. And yes, prostitutes are looked-down upon; that's why "whore" is used as an insult, and the people who are most acceptable to kill in GTA are the hookers. Because they have sex for money, they aren't necessarily considered human. That gives us an excuse to treat them like shit, making it a very hazardous profession.

 

"The moral delineation between 'pay for sex with money', 'pay for sex with things that cost money, but not money directly', and 'have sex consensually unrelated to the transfer of goods, then do nice things for partner which cost money, including gifts' becomes awfully fuzzy when you try to pin it down. The first case is prostitution. The second case is being a sugar daddy. The third case, in various forms, is a relationship. Feminists have argued about this point for decades."

 

That's what I think.

[Bekah]

^^^ Thanks for making my points for me

They arent the only Taboos---having sex during a woman's menstrual cycle, beastiality, oral sex, sex other than the missionary position, marital rape, BDSM---depending on who you ask and where you live just about ANYTHING is Taboo, to someone. Ask someone else, and they will say those same things are perfectly okay.

We, as a global society, typically have strong negative reactions to things we dont understand that is percieved as "wrong" by our social group. My point in raising this question, was that I had the thought that maybe those of us on the social fringe in a global sense (bc not having social "graces" is frowned upon universally, its just the expectations that vary) see things differently regarding taboos.

[Bekah]

As for my own personal Taboos, I may not engage in things I enjoy, for various reasons, but that doesn't mean I have a problem with them either. Taking away another person/animal/beings consent is where I draw the line for myself. If they are constrained into a choice for any reason, then it's not something I will condone...anything else, we can talk about it

[Machete]

 

This is a good one on Beastiality.

 

I mean when you think of that animal sex farm in Washington from where Mr. Hands died from internal bleeding, would we really see the horse who fucked him to death as a murderer or a rape victim?

[Bekah]

 

This is a good one on Beastiality.

 

I mean when you think of that animal sex farm in Washington from where Mr. Hands died from internal bleeding, would we really see the horse who fucked him to death as a murderer or a rape victim?

my thoughts too, if you were certain the animal enjoyed it prior to engagement of the act, then all is fair, but unless you are an animal behaviorist or very well versed in animal body language, how would you know, with certainty that it isnt a power play and the animal is submitting bc they are afraid or any number of things? And as far as sex with horses go, I think in the instance of Mr. Hands, he knew the risks and so at best it was horse assisted suicide

[Bekah]

what about those real dolls (cant remember the name exactly?) that you interact with and have sex with?

I think that one of those would be a bit of a mixed bag, bc I can see how someone would enjoy the at will interaction that is designed solely for their benefit without needing to take emotional, physical or spiritual needs into account and that would be great as an alternative to a "real relationship" but it also can potentially further decrease the ability of the person using the doll, to connect with real people, which in just about every case, is something we have to do. and no doll can entirely replace actual sex authentically either. But I would prefer artificial sex sometimes just to eliminate the emotions involved...so yeah, I like the idea for an alternative to a long term relationship, provided there are real, deep, friendships with other people and causual sex is something the person is willing to engage in if necessary

[Thrillho]

Wait... there's risks?

[Machete]

what about those real dolls (cant remembet the name exactly?) that you interact with and have sex with?

I think that one of those would be a bit of a mixed bag, bc I can see how someone would enjoy the at will interaction that is designed solely for their benefit without needing to take emotional, physical or spiritual needs into account and that would be great as an alternative to a "real relationship" but it also can potentially further decrease the ability of the person using the doll, to connect with real people, which in just about every case, is something we have to do. and no doll can entirely replace actual sex authentically either. But I would prefer artificial sex sometimes just to eliminate the emotions involved...so yeah, I like the idea for an alternative to a long term relationship, provided there are real, deep, friendships with other people and causual sex is something the person is willing to engage in if necessary

 

Yeah, I saw that on one episode of Taboo. Some guy had 3 Real Dolls.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1XxILVnt1w

 

I've never tried one of those Real Dolls, but I can't imagine them being too good. I mean they do communicate with me and make about as much sense as actual people do, but still, I enjoy the acting that comes with the sex. I always tell people, the vag/ass and its so-called tightness doesn't matter that much to me--I'm not having sex with that; I'm having sex with the person. If that was all that mattered I would have just shelled out $70 for a Fleshlight.

[Thrillho]

o.O That's what that movie is about?! I just thought it was one of those too-clever-for-its-own-good hipster comedies. Huh.

[Machete]

It's all about the hair part. You can turn from a normal person with a right-handed part into a creepy deviant with a left-handed part.

 

 

 

[Kasatori]

Hello my fine fellows! I was diagnosed with Asperger's as an early adult. My family had suspected something was wrong when I was little, but couldn't pin point it. I remember my grandmother telling me (once I was older, of course) that I acted like I wanted to be autistic, her words, but I was so smart they didn't think it could be Autism. My 5th grade teacher was concerned I had ADHD or something similar as I often wouldn't pay attention in school. Though I know now that was because I didn't care about the subject that was being taught, not because I wasn't able to pay attention.

 

It wasn't until I was a Senior in High School that my grandmother found an article in a magazine by Echo R. Fling, author of "Eating an Artichoke: A Mother's Perspective on Asperger's Syndrome" that we first found out there was an entire spectrum of autism disorders. The behaviors of Mrs. Fling's own son very closely resembled mine growing up, and it caught my grandmother's attention. It included a 6 question "mini quiz" at the end that recommended seeing a doctor if your child met 2 or more of the symptoms listed. I matched 5. The only one that didn't fit was a lack of eye contact, though even then my mom said I would often glance away during conversations. We went to a psychologist through the school system to find out a diagnosis, but he didn't listen. He was sure I'd read so much I'd convinced myself I had it and what I REALLY had was ADHD but with some control over it. I went to a different psychologist once I was older who sat down with the guide book and read over it with me, and she officially diagnosed me with Asperger's.

 

Even though my case is milder than some, it's still enough that I often come across as very hateful, odd, and immature to anyone who doesn't know me. I've had coworkers get annoyed with me because I didn't pick up on some unspoken request that others may have picked up on. I was also removed from a guild on WoW by a guy who took an intense dislike to me because I'd unintentionally been negative and was apparently using my disability like a crutch. He even told my husband he should stop enabling me, and that I needed more self-awareness. I work VERY hard to be more aware of my behaviors in a public setting, but I'm never going to STOP being autistic. I don't handle stress well, though my current job has helped a ton with that to a certain extent, at least. It also helps that I have a very understanding husband (who happens to have ADHD) who has been nothing but supportive. Some might think ADHD and AS would clash, but the way our personalities are, we actually meld VERY well.

 

Anyways, sorry for the wall of text, but I wanted to get some things off my chest. The past few months have been especially stressful on me, and it's great to find other people who face similar difficulties.

[Bekah]

I'm glad you are here I wasn't diagnosed till middle adulthood myself. I'm sorry you had negative experiences, but unfortunately, there are jerks everywhere

[Machete]

6 Things People With Autism Would Like You To Know

[Artinum]

That's the first Cracked article I've read in months. A return to previous form, I think. I can relate to pretty much all of it. On the last point:

 

 

"If we admit to being autistic upfront, that means a reason not to hire us. If we don't and we get the job somehow, we risk being fired because of the whole 'there's something a little odd about that person; I don't like them' crap."

 

This is exactly why I don't mention it at work to anyone. I'm completely open about my homosexuality, but no-one at work knows about my Aspergers. My current employer probably wouldn't give a hoot - I actually know one guy there who's openly autistic - but old habits die hard, and I feel safer keeping that one under wraps.

[Bekah]

That's the first Cracked article I've read in months. A return to previous form, I think. I can relate to pretty much all of it. On the last point:

 

 

This is exactly why I don't mention it at work to anyone. I'm completely open about my homosexuality, but no-one at work knows about my Aspergers. My current employer probably wouldn't give a hoot - I actually know one guy there who's openly autistic - but old habits die hard, and I feel safer keeping that one under wraps.

I am fairly certain that I lost a job once for being "odd" but I had no diagnosis then, and still had no idea anyone didnt even like me. Now, I just tell people that I need very direct instruction and feedback and not sugarcoating if they want me to understand things, and I don't understand niances. I let them take that how they will, but if I was ever asked directly, I'd answer them (not that an employer would ask I dont think)

[Bekah]

6 Things People With Autism Would Like You To Know

Women are still less likely to be diagnosed with autism today, and part of it is due to the fact that we expect young girls to be more social. So they get more experience interacting with other kids, which helps to "camouflage" their symptoms. Nina's psychiatrist eventually did some research and changed her diagnosis. She was one of the lucky ones. It's incredibly common for people with autism to be misdiagnosed as bipolar. Unless we're talking medical marijuana, it is generally a bad idea to take medicine for conditions you don't have. For example:

"... look up 'lithium toxicity' and 'barbiturate poisoning' if you want some nightmares tonight, or consider that for twelve years I had to have blood work every three to six months to be sure my medication was not literally eating my liver."

yup. my life.

[Machete]

 

.. which is a pipe dream for the many of us who can't get a job beyond janitor, even with college degrees.

 

Heh. Might be why I'm still unemployed, despite a rather impressive résumé and 11 or so interviews that went fairly well as far as I know. (But what DO I know?) Sad to know other people are also sucking at life. And just when I was starting to think that I was finally adequately-adjusted to society. Part of me thinks I should just go back to the Army and hate my life but at least be productive.

 

The comments on the article are the best though. I can't wait until the end of the world. While I burn to death I will take immense pleasure in knowing for a fact that all those dirtbags, for at least once in their little pathetic entitled lives, will be experiencing the same pain that I would be, at least for few seconds. For once in this piece-of-shit existence there would finally be true equality. What a beautiful sight. Easily the best day of my life.