Men ONLY please...

[RaeVynn]

[female viewpoint]

Picking a gift, while "fun" the first time, could also become annoying... It's a date, not a game show.

[/viewpoint]

[CyningaDena]

[female viewpoint]

Picking a gift, while "fun" the first time, could also become annoying... It's a date, not a game show.

[/viewpoint]

Ohh man, all dates should be game shows. I mean, old skool Nickelodeon game shows involving people getting slimed. I would date all the time.

[Guest Snake McClain]

not making this EVERY DATE lol. just occasionally. something fun. she loves a good game. so...yeah. i think it would be interesting to do from time to time.

[161803398874989]

If you really want my honest thoughts: you're overanalyzing. That's all that I'm going to say about that.

[Church]

If you really want my honest thoughts: you're overanalyzing. That's all that I'm going to say about that.

Seconded ^^^

You're over thinking the hell out of this. In a major league way. Continuing to do so will only make you crazy, trying to think your self in circles.

As for staying in the moment and not pushing for the future. That's what dating is. No one goes on a date thinking "I hope we get married and have kids". They're thinking "let's see what happens."

All that stuff that she's doing that you're over-analyzing is her telling you that you're coming on too strong and you need to tone it down.

Romantic ideas are pointless, in my experience. You can go with the classics; moonlit walk on the beach, picnic in a meadow, etc. but ultimately what makes something romantic is the feelings involved. And you can't fake or force that. Anything, literally, ANYTHING can be romantic as all-get-out if there's powerful feelings there.

And the gift idea is just demeaning. You may think it says "I care for you and I want you to have nice things." but what she'd most likely get out of it is "I don't believe that I'm everything you deserve, so I'm going to try by your love in an attempt to distract you from my short comings."

And for as long as you've been seeing her, I highly doubt that you're in love. There's probably lust and infatuation, but not love. Having experienced both, I can tell you that people often mistake them.

Lunch is over so I guess I have to stop being belligerent on the Internet and go back to belittling people in real life.

Peace.

[esteel]

Romantic ideas are pointless, in my experience. You can go with the classics; moonlit walk on the beach, picnic in a meadow, etc. but ultimately what makes something romantic is the feelings involved. And you can't fake or force that. Anything, literally, ANYTHING can be romantic as all-get-out if there's powerful feelings there.

Actually i like the idea that romantic stuff only is truly romantic when one does stuff to be 'true to himself, ones integrety or his loved ones' even against (social) rules.

Or in other words a honey moon can be the most boring stuff on earth, but juliet and romeo was romantic because both died because of their love for each other while others did not aprove it. So i really think too that one can't fake or force anything romantic.. only fight for it

[leadchipmunk]

Snake,

B.) How do I see someone who doesn't want to see me exclusively?

I couldn't do this either. If she wants to meet some guy for coffee or hang out with him, that's one thing and it wouldn't bother me. But if it is a date (even without any semblance of physical contact), that's a whole 'nother thing entirely.

C.) Romantic ideas?

Make everything you do fun. Just go out of the norm (which it already sounds like you do... Seriously, running laps in the store to test shoes?) and make the good memories stick in her mind. There's nothing more romantic than having the good times pop into your head when you think of someone. And that is a major feat since the human mind is more adapted to think of the bad things first.

Ohh man, all dates should be game shows. I mean, old skool Nickelodeon game shows involving people getting slimed. I would date all the time.

Step up your game and every date can involve someone getting slimed... Just saying...

Also, they need to bring back the old school Nick game shows, but for adults. I'd so sign up for them.

[smedly]

What kind of mandate are you asking for?

I just ordered these two babies. Hoping they come in soon. 1 and 2

My favorite thing about it is, I'm getting 2 handguns shipped straight to my door. No need to deal with a FFL or dealer or anything

butts

[CyningaDena]

Step up your game and every date can involve someone getting slimed... Just saying...

As soon as I posted, I knew it was just a matter of time before someone went there. Although, really...this?

That's a doctor's visit and some antibiotics, man.

[leadchipmunk]

Haha. But look at her. She's so happy

[Guest Snake McClain]

If you really want my honest thoughts: you're overanalyzing. That's all that I'm going to say about that.

Seconded ^^^

You're over thinking the hell out of this. In a major league way. Continuing to do so will only make you crazy, trying to think your self in circles.

As for staying in the moment and not pushing for the future. That's what dating is. No one goes on a date thinking "I hope we get married and have kids". They're thinking "let's see what happens."

All that stuff that she's doing that you're over-analyzing is her telling you that you're coming on too strong and you need to tone it down.

Romantic ideas are pointless, in my experience. You can go with the classics; moonlit walk on the beach, picnic in a meadow, etc. but ultimately what makes something romantic is the feelings involved. And you can't fake or force that. Anything, literally, ANYTHING can be romantic as all-get-out if there's powerful feelings there.

And the gift idea is just demeaning. You may think it says "I care for you and I want you to have nice things." but what she'd most likely get out of it is "I don't believe that I'm everything you deserve, so I'm going to try by your love in an attempt to distract you from my short comings."

And for as long as you've been seeing her, I highly doubt that you're in love. There's probably lust and infatuation, but not love. Having experienced both, I can tell you that people often mistake them.

Lunch is over so I guess I have to stop being belligerent on the Internet and go back to belittling people in real life.

Peace.

definitely over analyzing. it's how my brain works. outside of that i do it because i want to. but i hadnt considered how she may be seeing it.

Actually i like the idea that romantic stuff only is truly romantic when one does stuff to be 'true to himself, ones integrety or his loved ones' even against (social) rules.

Or in other words a honey moon can be the most boring stuff on earth, but juliet and romeo was romantic because both died because of their love for each other while others did not aprove it. So i really think too that one can't fake or force anything romantic.. only fight for it

see. i'm doing this because my feelings for her dictate i do.

Snake,

I couldn't do this either. If she wants to meet some guy for coffee or hang out with him, that's one thing and it wouldn't bother me. But if it is a date (even without any semblance of physical contact), that's a whole 'nother thing entirely.

C.) Romantic ideas?

Make everything you do fun. Just go out of the norm (which it already sounds like you do... Seriously, running laps in the store to test shoes?) and make the good memories stick in her mind. There's nothing more romantic than having the good times pop into your head when you think of someone. And that is a major feat since the human mind is more adapted to think of the bad things first.

Step up your game and every date can involve someone getting slimed... Just saying...

Also, they need to bring back the old school Nick game shows, but for adults. I'd so sign up for them.

I do what i can..and yes. slime would rock!

As soon as I posted, I knew it was just a matter of time before someone went there. Although, really...this?

That's a doctor's visit and some antibiotics, man.

Haha. But look at her. She's so happy

That lady does look damn happy.

[azsf]

juliet and romeo was romantic because both died because of their love for each other

Romeo and Juliet is tragic not romantic. Romance shouldn't end with mutual suicide, forced by the petty squabbles of two families. So take note, if you're trying to impress your date, don't:

a) start a gang fight with a skilled swordsman

avenge the death of your friend by killing said swordsman

c) get banished

d) kill yourself

I hope you find this guide useful in your romantic pursuits!

[CyningaDena]

Haha. But look at her. She's so happy

LMAO!

Well then. Don't let me get in your way. By all means, give the lady that green slime.

ohhh, this has to stop

[Church]

Haha. But look at her. She's so happy

Honestly, if a girl is going to put herself in a situation where she'd get slimed THAT hard, would she be anything but ecstatic when it happens?

[Church]

Question for the man council: I've grown weary with being single, but my job/lifestyle leaves very little chance to meet new people or find love. My personality/fear ensures that whatever opportunity I DO happen across by accident goes to waste (I tend to actively avoid situations for reasons that remain a mystery to me. I assume it has something to do with mommy issues, or perhaps repressed childhood trauma or some BS like that).

Anyway, I've basically determined that online dating is probably the way to go, simply because I can do it while I'm at work for 2 weeks at a time, this relieving the pressure or stress or whatever that comes from really only having what amounts to a handful of hours to strike something up. I live in a small town and work WAAAAAY out in the sticks, so I have very limited time to be social with people my own age who are female.

So my question is manifold: do any of you guys have experience with this? What site(s) did you use and would recommend them (or not)?

I tried plenty of fish a long time ago and that was more or less a waste, for various reasons. I'm not looking for a one night stand, or anything, or even just 'casual'. But I'm sure as heck not looking to get married and settle down.

Any advice/info that you guys have would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise I gotta take a shot in the dark on the google machine, and that could be rough if I'm feeling particularly dunce-like that day....

[Artinum]

I met my partner of ten years through Gaydar, though neither of us were expecting to find anything lasting that way! To be fair, I met a lot of one nighters first. I can't speak for straight sites, though I suspect they may be similar (perhaps not as open about it!) - so yes, you can meet someone long term, but it might take a lot of tries. Same as any other method of dating, really.

[leadchipmunk]

Romeo and Juliet is tragic not romantic. Romance shouldn't end with mutual suicide, forced by the petty squabbles of two families. So take note, if you're trying to impress your date, don't:

a) start a gang fight with a skilled swordsman

avenge the death of your friend by killing said swordsman

c) get banished

d) kill yourself

I hope you find this guide useful in your romantic pursuits!

Damn... I've already broken 2 of those...

LMAO!

Well then. Don't let me get in your way. By all means, give the lady that green slime.

ohhh, this has to stop

Honestly, if a girl is going to put herself in a situation where she'd get slimed THAT hard, would she be anything but ecstatic when it happens?

Man, I f***ing love you guys. Haven't laughed so hard in a while.

Question for the man council: do any of you guys have experience with this? What site(s) did you use and would recommend them (or not)?

I have been considering online dating too. I have no social life, and every way I've met my exes were through friends, and that did not work at all, and a good friend of mine won't let me date his sister, so I'm stuck with either in person meetings or online dating. I'm horrible at starting anything in person, but am much better once I get to talking to someone. So I think I may try online too.

I haven't used anything, but I have a friend that used PoF too, and nothing worthwhile ever came from it for her.

I'm thinking about going on gk2gk.com just for the fact that it is tailored for nerds. At worst, it is filled with emo girls, which is totally fine with me. Haha

[esteel]

So take note, if you're trying to impress your date, don't:

d) kill yourself

I hope you find this guide useful in your romantic pursuits!

Sounds really good

[azsf]

Damn... I've already broken 2 of those...

As long as it wasn't (d) you can always come back

[leadchipmunk]

As long as it wasn't (d) you can always come back

I may be able to come back, but there's no bringing Tybalt back...

[realbrickwall]

Any advice/info that you guys have would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise I gotta take a shot in the dark on the google machine, and that could be rough if I'm feeling particularly dunce-like that day....

OKCupid tends to attract a more "intelligent/nerd/hipster" crowd (though it's HARDLY exclusive to those groups; that's a general trend), and it's free. Read their blog, too; it has some good tips.

[TheSavageBean]

c) I do cook for her. regularly.

And she's not all over you? She's nuts. Find a sane girl.

@Church: Online dating put me through a meat grinder. It really made me depressed and angry after a while. It's silly in context, because really I was getting upset over being ignored by a stranger whereas my great grandpappy had his eyes shot out in the war and still managed to get a date (no joke). So modern problems. With this context in mind I realised it was silly to beat a dead horse and that I should just stop and meet people the regular way. YMMV though, if I was serious about finding someone with this method I'd go for a pay site, when people pay money they're more serious about meeting and making it work.

To be honest I don't know your situation, I don't know your time constraints or anything else about you really. Regardless though, you have to realise that if anything's going to happen, you have to put it higher in your priorities and work on it. Like working out, it doesn't happen if you don't make time. Join classes, do shit you're interested in and stuff you like. You might find someone, you might not, but at least you'll have fun on the way.

[Guest Snake McClain]

Romeo and Juliet is tragic not romantic. Romance shouldn't end with mutual suicide, forced by the petty squabbles of two families. So take note, if you're trying to impress your date, don't:

a) start a gang fight with a skilled swordsman

avenge the death of your friend by killing said swordsman

c) get banished

d) kill yourself

I hope you find this guide useful in your romantic pursuits!

HILARIOUS!

Question for the man council: I've grown weary with being single, but my job/lifestyle leaves very little chance to meet new people or find love. My personality/fear ensures that whatever opportunity I DO happen across by accident goes to waste (I tend to actively avoid situations for reasons that remain a mystery to me. I assume it has something to do with mommy issues, or perhaps repressed childhood trauma or some BS like that).

Anyway, I've basically determined that online dating is probably the way to go, simply because I can do it while I'm at work for 2 weeks at a time, this relieving the pressure or stress or whatever that comes from really only having what amounts to a handful of hours to strike something up. I live in a small town and work WAAAAAY out in the sticks, so I have very limited time to be social with people my own age who are female.

So my question is manifold: do any of you guys have experience with this? What site(s) did you use and would recommend them (or not)?

I tried plenty of fish a long time ago and that was more or less a waste, for various reasons. I'm not looking for a one night stand, or anything, or even just 'casual'. But I'm sure as heck not looking to get married and settle down.

Any advice/info that you guys have would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise I gotta take a shot in the dark on the google machine, and that could be rough if I'm feeling particularly dunce-like that day....

Okay bud. The gal I'm seeing, we met on match.com. She also had a profile on okcupid. i know a TON of people that have met online. There is NOTHING wrong with this. I feel that Match.com is a bit more serious than probably what you are wanting and i agree with the statement made that okcupid is a bit more of the nerd crowd. a crowd more similar to our ilk. just be patient and firm (heh heh) with what you are looking for. okcupid also has a great match pairing method. based on a list of crazy questions and stuff. Seriously bud go for it. it can't hurt. you'll spend some time looking around and stuff and i'm a pretty decent writer so if you need a hand at editing or adding some flash to your profile then you can talk to me. i usually get commended for what my profile says.

Man, I f***ing love you guys. Haven't laughed so hard in a while.

I was actually just talking about this last night to my lady friend. Especially you chipmunk. I was saying how i look forward to your posts because although I feel you and i are pretty different personalities your opinion is one i respect and you make me laugh.

And she's not all over you? She's nuts. Find a sane girl.

LOL. well I'll say this. We had a LONG LONG talk last night. (up way later than intended and beyond what is healthy) and we settled up on a quite a few things. And things are actually...pretty good.

All of the men here really helped me see that it's cool...everything that is going on right now. there is no reason to be exclusively committed right now. we also defined what she means by exclusive and the reason I (and everyone else) has a knee jerk reaction is because we have a different idea of what that means than she does. Communication settles all.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Question for the man council: I've grown weary with being single, but my job/lifestyle leaves very little chance to meet new people or find love. My personality/fear ensures that whatever opportunity I DO happen across by accident goes to waste (I tend to actively avoid situations for reasons that remain a mystery to me. I assume it has something to do with mommy issues, or perhaps repressed childhood trauma or some BS like that).

It sounds like you have two issues going on; finding women, and anxiety in random encounters. Online dating can be helpful, and it sounds like you've gotten some good help already. The issue not being addressed is the "personality/fear" you mentioned. Addressing that will help even in the online dating and can help you with those chance encounters that do come your way. A counselor/therapist can help, find an LPC or LMSW in your community who takes your insurance (if you don't have any many larger churches offer counseling services) to address these issues. You may find if you ignore them they willl sabotage your online dating just as much as your chance encounters.

Good luck!

[KillerGriller]

Re: Online Dating

(If I've mentioned this before I apologize) I have one friend that was very successful with online dating, and he believes that it's because he was ruthless with his time. He knew what he needed/wanted/could live with/didn't like/hated and stuck to his guns. Since (some) people tell white lies or have a skewed view of themselves it usually takes a while to find out what people are really all about; by the end of his foray into online dating he could tell by the time the appetizers arrived whether his date was worth sticking around for. Sure some women were around for weeks or months, but other dates ended before they got going. Know what's a deal-breaker and don't deviate, there's no point hanging onto something that is doomed to fail. Religious beliefs, life goals, kids, pets, smokers/drug/drinkers/straight-edge, travelers or homebodies, matching emotional needs etc. Good luck!