Men ONLY please...

[Jcannon98188]

The comfort of routine is the final thing you need to overcome.

Relevant:

(Also, a kick butt movie)

[Lefeux]

I could honestly keep going about this subject. It bothers me that as a whole men have been emasculated. but then maybe we BELIEVE that we have been when in reality we haven't. Once I started taking steps to being more manly (thank you art of manliness) I no longer felt emasculated. I feel as if I am manly and that others see me as such. I am seeing it everywhere I go. So maybe, just MAYBE it is our jobs (COME ON MANLY NERDS!) to teach ourselves, our friends and our sons to be manly and believe that we are and thus we will be seen as such. We believe we are so we become it. I truly believe this works. It has for me.

so maybe we shouldn't worry about some stupid feminist or anti-feminist or this or that or blah blah blah and instead worry about being men, manning up, and anyone who likes it, well thank you, and anyone who doesn't and thinks we are stupid...well they can just go fuck off as we make ourselves better.

First of several replies likely to come. On post #2114 of page 85. Long but awesome read (and like 30 pages to go)

I am an Eagle Scout and a former SGT in the US Army. I am currently in Afghanistan as a contractor. Half of the reason I am here is because I still have the desire to server my country (yes the other half is the money).

I don't do manicures, pedicures, pink or purple clothing. I do cook, tell my wife I love you, and cry when the occasion calls for it.

I am willing to lay my life down for my beliefs, and any punk that threatens my family will quickly learn that I will take their life to protect what is mine right quick and in a hurry w/o thinking about it twice. And he had better believe that I will sleep soundly afterwards.

The manly question reminds me of a movie quote: "This is me taking control from Sloane, from the fraternity, from Janice from billing reports, from ergonomic keyboards, from cheating girlfriends and sack a shit best friends. This is me taking back control of my life. What the fuck have you done lately?"

@Bruce, I have lived most of what you have struggled with it seems like and love reading your posts.

@ Everyone else, loving the thread. Will comment more once I finish reading.

[Razor]

Wanted. Good movie.

As for the manliness thing, it's a bullshit construct of your mind (well, of everyone's mind, and therefore society). I'm not going to not do things because society doesn't think I have the correct genetalia. I feel trying to be manly makes you lose manliness. In terms of actual manliness, it's being assertive and responsible. I do yoga. I cook. I clean. I'm probably the only college male in the state of florida who (usually) makes his bed. I watch Supernatural (which thus far apparently only has female fans), and I drive a small car that only has 180 horsepower (For now. One day I will drive a mustang). When I sexually fantasize, I also imagine cuddling after. And the date before it. All of those things are considered girly. Zero &$%@ given this day.

Do what the hell you want. Don't ever consider whether or not it's manly. If it isn't, make it manly.

Or else the terrorists win.

[Lefeux]

I would never expect anyone to sacrifice anything for me. Would I hope that if the time comes they would? Yes. But I never expect them too.

Burning building debate? That is really something I cannot decide before hand. It really depends on circumstances. Who is the weakest, who needs the most help, and who am I able to help more.

And finances. That is a tough one. Ultimately it comes down to WHY they were losing their job, and what that person's needs are. If it is a layoff and they have children and I don't, then yes I would probably offer that I leave instead of them. If I had children and they didn't probably not because I still have responsibilities to my family. If they were fired because they failed at doing their job, then probably not, as I believe that people need to help themselves, before they can expect others to help them.

Ultimately, yes fight before dieing, but if you have to die for someone, then so be it. I do not really fear death, especially if I am taking the place of another. As a Christian, I know what comes after death, and I do not view it as something to be feared, but something to be embraced once my time has come. I try (key word try) to live my life everyday so that if I died tomorrow, I would have no regrets about my time here on earth.

The burning building debate... I have on more than one occasion jumped from a (stopped) car to render aide when an accident has happened in front of me. No thinking, no questioning, just doing. It is who I am. It springs from the addage of help thy fellow man(or woman), and the fact that it would tear me up knowing that I didn't do anything when I could have done something.

Case in point. I served in the Army for 10 years and was stationed in the Pentagon on 9/11. As we were evacuating the building (but didn't know why or what was going on) I watched medical personel fight against the flow of people leaving the building to get to where they were needed. Between years of training in the both the Army and the Boy Scouts, I have the knowledge and skills that could have saved someones life that day. I exited the building. I regret not trying to help all the time. It also reminds me not to hesitate or make that mistake again.

Could something like that cost me my life in the future? Yes, it could. And I don't want to die needlessly either. But I would rather not live the rest of my life thinking "what if".

[Lefeux]

Wanted. Good movie.

As for the manliness thing, it's a bullshit construct of your mind (well, of everyone's mind, and therefore society). I'm not going to not do things because society doesn't think I have the correct genetalia. I feel trying to be manly makes you lose manliness. In terms of actual manliness, it's being assertive and responsible. I do yoga. I cook. I clean. I'm probably the only college male in the state of florida who (usually) makes his bed. I watch Supernatural (which thus far apparently only has female fans), and I drive a small car that only has 180 horsepower (For now. One day I will drive a mustang). When I sexually fantasize, I also imagine cuddling after. And the date before it. All of those things are considered girly. Zero &$%@ given this day.

Do what the hell you want. Don't ever consider whether or not it's manly. If it isn't, make it manly.

Or else the terrorists win.

Razor,

My reward for my time in Afghanistan (18 months out here and then Ill be home. ~50 days) is a Mustang. Either a 2013 Boss 302 or a 2008 GT500KR. Standard. Of course.

I don't think about what is or isn't manly. I think about what I need to do to live my life according to my values and up to my expectations. I can say I am not overly happy about the way society is blurring the gender lines though. There was an article about a father that lets his 5 yr old son wear dresses to school. To combat the teasing his son was getting, the father chose to wear a skirt along with his son. There were people that said he should be nominated for father of the year.

[Lefeux]

Hey Smedly.

I noticed you popped up on my Facebook the other day and I just wanted to say hi.

I hope your job at BLM is going well and I hope you are having a good summer!

I'll talk to you soon.

--Derpette--

My biological mother physically and emotionally abused me for my first 7 years (think 2x4 painted red on one side and purple on the other. What color do you want to be hit with).

Eventually got her to admit to beating me to my face. She actually admitted that she would do it all over again. Fortunately for her, my father was standing inbetween her and I or I would have hit her. The only time I have ever truly wanted to hit a woman.

I hated her very much.

I did eventually forgive her.

I have nothing to do with the woman or the rest of that side of the family.

Might not be quite as drastic as your case (mind you this is being written 2 months later) but let her go. It seems that just as you are getting over her, she pops back up and makes things bad again.

[Razor]

There was an article about a father that lets his 5 yr old son wear dresses to school. To combat the teasing his son was getting, the father chose to wear a skirt along with his son. There were people that said he should be nominated for father of the year.

If a kid wants to do something, they should be allowed to do it. Either the kid finds out it's something he really likes or he realizes it's a mistake. That's how you learn. I don't think the kids should be blamed for teasing him, but I don't think the father is wrong for being silly for wearing a skirt either.

I'll be wearing a skirt myself pretty soon. What the hell do you think a kilt is?

[leadchipmunk]

As for the manliness thing, it's a bullshit construct of your mind (well, of everyone's mind, and therefore society). I'm not going to not do things because society doesn't think I have the correct genetalia. I feel trying to be manly makes you lose manliness. In terms of actual manliness, it's being assertive and responsible. I do yoga. I cook. I clean. I'm probably the only college male in the state of florida who (usually) makes his bed. I watch Supernatural (which thus far apparently only has female fans), and I drive a small car that only has 180 horsepower (For now. One day I will drive a mustang). When I sexually fantasize, I also imagine cuddling after. And the date before it. All of those things are considered girly. Zero &$%@ given this day.

Do what the hell you want. Don't ever consider whether or not it's manly. If it isn't, make it manly.

Gotta agree with you on this.

I've had manicures, done yoga (would keep doing it if I felt like taking a class), cook (very well in fact, as does every single male in my family). My car has ~181 horsepower (though it is a lifted Wrangler). I don't watch Supernatural, but I do watch a lot of anime that caters towards females and read young adult fiction. My fantasies focus more on cuddling afterward than they do anything else. I cry when warranted and ask for help when needed. Does that make me girly? Or does that just mean that I don't give 2 $#!7$ about what people think of me?

By the way, the terrorists have already won. They took control since well before our birth. It is time for us to be a true rebellion, be the terror of the terrorists and create a world where we Men aren't counted as effeminate, boys or as some other form of negativity to our race.

[azsf]

I'll be wearing a skirt myself pretty soon. What the hell do you think a kilt is?

Not to mention link, robin hood, samurai...

[Lefeux]

well...have you tried online dating? (if that's your bag) or a meetup group? you could get into some cool stuff, fitness related or no, and meet some new cool people men or women.

I don't smoke.

I don't pick up women at bars.

I work primarily with men.

I would feel like a hypocrite for going to church to meet women.

So I did the internet thing. Met a lot of "crazy bitches" too. Met some really nice women as well, although most of them didn't work out.

Met me wife through Plentyoffish.com. Almost didn't respond to her ad. Loved everything she had to say but she is 5'0" and petite. I am 5'7" and was about 200 (I described myself as stocky) and generally dated women closer to my height. My wife tended to go for guys that were closer to 6' (hate that crap), so she almost didn't reply to my message.

We spent 4 hours on Yahoo! messenger the first night, then went out every night for the next week. Ended up engaged 2 months after we started dating, married 9 months after we started dating. Just celebrated 3 years in July.

Points to take away - if the "norm" isn't working, try something new.

[Lefeux]

Which brings up the highbrow question: What's your favourite name for you manly bits? Sure we can all say penis. but where's the fun in that?

My Fav: Wang, alternately Wangtango.

Go!

Definitely not Princess Sophia.

[Lefeux]

I call mine Henry...

Not really, I solely use penis. Sorry I'm no fun. Then again, I don't engage in penile conversation regularly enough to use any euphemisms.

Secondary question. Has anyone had a partner that referred to your manly bits by a pet name? I've had one that has, she was crazy... She liked to use the name Princess Twinkles...

And I would have told her that is she calls it Princess Twinkles, HE wouldn't be making an appearance for her ANY time in the near future.

[leadchipmunk]

If a kid wants to do something, they should be allowed to do it. Either the kid finds out it's something he really likes or he realizes it's a mistake. That's how you learn. I don't think the kids should be blamed for teasing him, but I don't think the father is wrong for being silly for wearing a skirt either.

I'll be wearing a skirt myself pretty soon. What the hell do you think a kilt is?

I mostly agree. Do what you want, and let your kids do what they want. As long as they aren't hurting others, there really isn't anything wrong with it. The only thing I disagree with is letting the kids bully the other for wearing a dress. There's no need for that and is only going to lead to one of two things, either the kid is going to feel ashamed and horrible for wanting to wear a dress or a fight is going to happen. I don't see it ended any other way.

I don't see me wearing a my skirt (kilt) anytime soon, it is to get too cold for that. Though I did wear it last weekend to the ren faire. I'm kinda surprised I only saw half a dozen kilts there, including mine and my buddy I went up with.

And I would have told her that is she calls it Princess Twinkles, HE wouldn't be making an appearance for her ANY time in the near future.

I never thought of saying that. I just decided to humor her and say "Princess Twinkles wants a kiss." Surprisingly, it worked.

[Lefeux]

My brother is 9 years older than me, so I can see the future for what my hairline will continue to do. Last year, I went buzz (well, a #3 on the trimmer) after realizing it would just be so much easier when my daily driver is a jeep with no doors/top.

For father's day, my wife bought me a Wahl trimmer so I buzz it myself every couple of weeks.

I went from this: (Shaggy and longish)

[ATTACH=CONFIG]5413[/ATTACH]

to this (skin tight taper medium high)

[ATTACH=CONFIG]5414[/ATTACH]

The woman working at the barber shop thought I was joking.

[Lefeux]

OKAY GUYS,.....next manly question...

This is a BIG BIG BIG one for me. Maybe the biggest.

I am currently enrolled in school for computer programming. This is my first week. And to tell you the truth I have no desire to do this. I am doing it because it a) will give me a good income when I get a job and will be a job that has benefits and insurance and retirement plans and all that crap. those two things (a and is because I have a lady in my life with a son. i want a family one day (even if they arent it) and i need to know I can provide for them. this is sort of a big deal to me because I know she needs to be sure that the man she is with can help her and not be a burden. I would NEVER let that happen. But...still. The thing is I need to do what I love. I will hate my life if I'm doing this computer thing. I will hate myself if I am in school for this (most likely). I need to do what I NEED TO DO. And I'm concerned she won't be on board. I mentioned it once before to her and she seemed super excited. Then it was put in her head by her friend that it isn't a ton of money etc. BUt it can totally be a living. and I have a plan I'd like to put into place once I was training people for a while. This is something I am incredibly serious about.

Now the issue. Should I go for my dream? OR do I go the safe route that will kill me inside but never have me concerned financially? I know I can make it work the training route. I don't want anything else. That and to be a writer but yeah that's not the issue here.

How do I tell my lady that if I'm going to do this I need her on board?

Do I continue in school with what I'm doing and hope that I can make time for personal training on the side? I have to get certified and all of that too. so that is a whole other thing. I'm really torn on this and it all feels very heavy on me right now.

Haven't read the following posts, but I am going to tell my story.

Back before I came into the Army, my mom showed me a video of an Air Force EOD (explosive ordinance disposal - bomb squad) unit and I immediately felt that is what I was supposed to do with my life. Like insta click, I wanted to be an EOD tech. The plan was to do the military for 6 years and then get out and do EOD for the US Marshalls, ATF, DEA, etc. So I joined up and went through 10 weeks of training with EOD as my motivation. I ended up being disqualified for EOD the Friday before graduation (typo on my paperwork combined with having a seizure in high school, but was cleared to come in and do EOD training). I had two choices, get out and try again in 6 months, or find another job. I had bills to pay and no place to live so getting out wasn't a real choice. I chose another job. My drill sergeant was a computer guy and said I should try for that because I was smart and motivated and would do well. So I did. For 10 years. I am now doing IT work as a contractor. My BS is in IT, and I am looking to complete my MS in Cyber Security. However, I still don't wake up in the morning like OMG I get to go to work and play with computers today! And I may never have that feeling. I do it because it does pay well, and I enjoy it enough most days. When I get back state side though I am going to look at joining the local sheriff's dept as a reserve deputy. If I really like it I might just switch on over. I am also excited about the Masters in Cyber Security as I find that interesting. I hated the programming classes that were required for my degree. I hate programming. I suck at it.

The short of it is, if you don't like programming and think that you are going to hate doing it, then don't. Tell your woman that doing programming (or w/e) makes you really unhappy and you don't want to spend you life doing something that makes you unhappy. But then also tell her that you have this other thing in mind that you want to do, and though it might not make you rich, you should be able to make enough to support a family and be able to be happy. Just my 2 cps worth

[Denny]

Wait, someone said Supernatural is a show mainly for women? Bullshit, it's awesome.

[Lefeux]

oh well when i break for sure it is clean. tomorrow will be the final straw. but i just mean i have a hard time even after the clean nuclear break (cut off all contact etc) with handling little things that are gone.

I was married before (we dated for 4 years, were married for 7). We seperated in May of 2007 and the divorce was final in January of 2008.

Almost 5 years later, I still wonder how she is doing, what my nieces and nephews are like, how her family is doing. I don't believe in the in law tag. If I am going to welcome someone into my family, then they are family period. So her mom and dad were my mom and dad. Her brothers and sisters were my brothers and sisters. When we got divorced I lost half my family. It sucked then and sometimes it still sucks now. But I can take solace in the fact that we simply weren't meant to be together.

[Lefeux]

Question for the man council: I've grown weary with being single, but my job/lifestyle leaves very little chance to meet new people or find love. My personality/fear ensures that whatever opportunity I DO happen across by accident goes to waste (I tend to actively avoid situations for reasons that remain a mystery to me. I assume it has something to do with mommy issues, or perhaps repressed childhood trauma or some BS like that).

Anyway, I've basically determined that online dating is probably the way to go, simply because I can do it while I'm at work for 2 weeks at a time, this relieving the pressure or stress or whatever that comes from really only having what amounts to a handful of hours to strike something up. I live in a small town and work WAAAAAY out in the sticks, so I have very limited time to be social with people my own age who are female.

So my question is manifold: do any of you guys have experience with this? What site(s) did you use and would recommend them (or not)?

I tried plenty of fish a long time ago and that was more or less a waste, for various reasons. I'm not looking for a one night stand, or anything, or even just 'casual'. But I'm sure as heck not looking to get married and settle down.

Any advice/info that you guys have would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise I gotta take a shot in the dark on the google machine, and that could be rough if I'm feeling particularly dunce-like that day....

Yahoo, Match, PlentyofFish, E-Harmony type, speed dating. Yup tried them all. (Did find my wife on PoF though see a few posts back). The problem I continually ran into were women that weren't really looking for a boy friend or so they say. One of my best friends met his wife off of e-harmony (she wanted a taller, chubby, nerdy guy with glasses. Hi meet my best friend Joe).

Can they work? Sure. Better chances that trying to pick up a woman in the bar? Yes. Frustrating? Quite.

Over all, I did like PoF the most mainly because it was free and had better results with it (more dates in less time than the 18 months on yahoo and match)

[Lefeux]

Really? More bro love coming, be prepared. I'm pretty sure I never said this, but there are two reasons I joined this forum after lurking for a (very) short while. Both were guys on here, one I had already let know this. The other is you. Your personality and openness actually inspired me to open up to a forum that I had absolutely no experience in (the fitness part, not nerdiness).

May I ask what her idea of exclusivity is? That way I have an idea if I happen to get stuck in a similar situation.

HAH, LC. Snake is the reason that I have continued reading this epic thread.

[Lefeux]

Holy cow, first I'll say thanks for all the info/support

And then I'll try address as much as I can.

I really think that online is the way to go for me, and I'll definitely look into match and okcupid.

As far as my personality/fear, that maybe wasn't the right word for it (aside from general fear of the unknown, coupled with a generally negative world view). Really the issue that I have is that either a girl is really into me, and I'm totally oblivious, or I'm just not in the mood to try. I've already psyched myself out and given up before I'd even begun.

You're absolutely right about prioritizing. And I realized almost instantly that it's not a priority right now. I have so many other areas where I'm trying to flourish that I just feel like I have nothing left to put into it. But that's never stopped me before.

When I get going, I may make my profile public on here for some critiquing/help. And I'll definitely be asking for date ideas if something works out, but that's a ways off yet.

And finally, the thing I'm most eager to respond to: Is there seriously a gay dating site called gaydar? THAT'S AWESOME!

And I'm very sorry if that last one was offensive, that wasn't my intention. I'm something of a shut-it and I'm not up to date on all the accepted and politically correct terms for, well, anything really. It all changes so fast, and I have very limited exposure to much of anything outside of my regular group of associates.

Church if there are any of the fairer NFers on the sight that you are friendly with, have them look it over. That is definitely one thing that can use a ladies touch...

[Lefeux]

this is absolutely right. after a while i'd go on dates and like ^his friend there I would know within MOMENTS that i'd want it to be over and would be thinking of my exit strategy. Conversely i also have had 4 long term relationships in my life, and each one i've known within an instant (except for one for really messed up reasons) that i wanted to spend years with that person. and i did. so...yeah. be strict with what YOU want and WHO YOU are. stick to your guns.

1) wait...I inspired you? That...actually means a lot to hear this. Thank you. Hopefully i've lived up to the "hype" or whatever.

2) her idea of exclusivity...okay so the first thing I have to address is that to her "exclusive" and "commitment" are one and the same. She doesnt want to be a girlfriend one day she wants to be a wife...if that makes sense. Her heart feels I'm the guy but she needs time for her mind to sort it out and be sure. I get it now. its all good. But in that, her "needing to keep her options open" is a matter of...okay let's say we are together for...6 months and she has closed the door to meeting anyone else at all in that time...but then we stop seeing each other. she is 35, so that's 6 months of not making any potential friends at all that could have come along and maybe later opened the door to someone new. so i get that too...but i still didnt answer the question. So here...

...When MOST people say "I'm not exclusive" that means (typically) I'm going to go on dates (romantic kinds) with who I want, do what i want (physical stuff) with who I want, and I don't owe you any sort of explanation. With HER she "I'm not exclusive" means she, wants an option of hanging out with anyone (meaning guys here) non romantically but as friends so she can know she still explored the world a bit while her and I are building to this thing we feel is probably inevitable. She is exclusive to me sexually (all the way down to hand holding and cuddling on a couch) and that will not change. She is not pursuing romantic interests but friendly ones in order to keep a door open so if she sees red flags or deal breakers she can look around and see whats there that may be different. She has said that she has hung out with one guy since meeting me and that entire time she was thinking of me. Also she has an ex that is good friends with her that keeps wanting her back and she told him that if they were to maintain any friendship he needed to know that it is absolutely over between the two of them and that she has met someone special and he needed to keep a healthy distance...this was after a week of knowing me. so really i think i probably don't have anything to worry about.

hopefully i answered this question.

Just tell her that you understand, and the you trust her (provided that you do). I don't know if you are the jealous type, but I am not and it would drive my ex wife nuts because I wouldn't get jealous. Jealously is a stupid emotion and it means that there is a problem with the relationship (one that communication would likely fix). It appears that the two of you have/ are working on good communication skills. That is the only reason my wife and I are still very close despite the fact I have been over seas in Afghanistan for half our marriage.

[Lefeux]

well i know a bit about some of her exes and if i understand correctly this all stems back to them being controlling d baggers.

Exactly, the fact that she said, "I need to keep my options open and hang out with men that aren't just you." was really confusing. the way it sounded was just...weird.

I KNOW RIGHT! GAWD SHES SUCH A JERK! lol

My wife's last boyfriend (before me obviously) was that type of controlling d bagger. When we got together she wasn't used to compliments, asking of her opinions, gifts and flowers, trust, and just being treated decent in general. So my advice is keep on what your doing but also be patient. It takes time to under the mind fuckery her exes put her through.

[Lefeux]

Holy cow! I definitely need The Council's advice on this one. I'll start by explaining the situation:

There's this guy I worked with for 6 months or so, about 3 years ago. We weren't/aren't friends or anything like that, but we partied with the same group of people a bunch of times. Usually the guys would bring their girlfriends along and good times were had by all. Anyway, him and his girlfriend both ended up on my facebook and I never really got around to deleting them. Over the last few years I've watched them go through several facebook-official break-ups/make-ups, this time it seems to have stuck.

The reason I'm bring this up is that I just happened across her profile on the dating site. I've hung out with her before (as part of a larger group that included her boyfriend) and I know she's a pretty cool chick and all that jazz. What do I do? I'd like to drop her a line but I feel like I'd be violating the bro-code or something, you know? I'm not sure how to proceed. Or maybe I shouldn't proceed?

Just say, hey I remember meeting you back when. Want to get a coffee to catch up? You could also go at it from the FB side so that its kind of reinforces the hey we have met before thing?

[Lefeux]

Church, never wait for a response. Send and forget.

So I'm reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" largely because I want to conquer the gnawing unhappiness that eats at me all the time lately (bad bout of depression). It says that humans exist largely in their own minds to seek validation and recognition from others. It makes a lot of sense to me, and I realise there's things in here I do already. In particular I've realised that my own quest for validation and recognition is going largely unnoticed by my friendship circles.

I'm not asking you guys how to be recognised, or how to recognise others. I'm learning those from the book. I want to know, how do I conquer my need for recognition? It can be said that all the things I do is partly in my quest for others to recognise me as a talented, intelligent, kind and strong person.

Be yourself. Do thinks be cause you feel you should do them, how you think you should do them, and because you want to do them. If you are doing things to draw attention, you will likely succeed but not in the manner in which you intended.

There are only a hand full of people whose opinion I truly care about. My wife, family, and a few close friends. I could really care less what most anyone else thinks. Now if someone has an unwarranted bad opinion of me, I might take exception to it.

I am not perfect, I am not the best looking, the smartest, the best at anything other than being me, so I set forth to be the best me I can every day. As long as I can look at myself every morning and be proud of what I see, then I am good.

[Lefeux]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

2782 posts. 112 pages. Request denied. Take your moment, shed your tears, lift heavy stuff, punch a wall if you must, but you will bring your arse back here. By giving up and quiting, every asshole like her ex wins, because now not only has he fucked up her life, but yours as well. Take your time, straighten shit out. Ill be waiting.