Men ONLY please...

[Jcannon98188]

Well for the next 6 months, I plan to spend my time at the gym (just got a gym membership yesterday) or studying for school, and next year I plan to move to Idaho for school, so that will be my "outside my comfort zone". haha.

And while I never heard that quote before, I like it, and totally agree. Just the other day, I was praying and was like "Lord, give me the opportunity to leave my old life behind, and make the changes I need to make" and I suppose this is probably what will end up happening. I'm still a mess about this, and it hurts like crap, but I decided the instant that this happened, that I was not going to be "that guy" and wallow in this for a long time. Last night I said "Tonight is my cry night, tomorrow will be day one of moving on". I have been wanting to learn to talk to people (not just girls, but people in general) for awhile, but have always been "too comfortable" to do that. Now I kind of have too, and while terrifying, I look forward to it. The way I see it, its time to nut up or shut up (my all time favorite phrase to say. It's so catchy haha)

[Guest Snake McClain]

i wrote a long response and something funny happened. it is not here anymore. so now I will just make a short version. you asked about my girl and school situation.

okay so the girl and i had that little..whatever it was. I was and AM still doing school. actually just bought a lap top the other day. WOO go me. So that is my situationright now with that. School is for me and needs to be done. the time frame moved a little but it's all good. and i'm happy.

regarding the gal...well after that surprise kissing incident things have been AWESOME! we are just on fire right now. she's starting to seem really crazy for me again. things are well. very well. on both fronts.

[wildross]

I'd say kg has a point. Take the pressure off yourself if you can. As a happily married Guy, I have no expectations of other women as to relationships and can talk to almost anyone.

Sent from my NookColor using Tapatalk 2

[smedly]

What information can you give? How long has it not been working? Have you looked to see if it is an update problem with TF2 or if this is a widespread problem? What are your specs? Has anything happened or changed recently that could have caused it to not work (install other software, possible virus, update of OS, update of TF2, mid-game crash, etc.)?

*NOTE* I don't play the game, I just like troubleshooting. I may not be able to help any further, but maybe I can spur someone else or yourself to figure it out.

So this started up about 2 weeks ago after I downloaded an update. Pretty much I launch the game and after the usual Steam logo appears it crashes and the HL2.exe failed error window came up. I looked into the issue and it said it might be an issue with my firewall so I went into my firewall and changed opened it up for hl2.exe. I also tried reinstalling the game (3times) and such but I haven't found anything that makes a difference. That's all I know about the issue so if you or anyone else can figure something out from the above that would be great. Otherwise I'll be happy with LOL and BF3 for awhile.

[smedly]

Hey Smedly, I saw your picture and it reminded me of your question a while back (like 10 pages ago) about the girl who was away for the Summer. What ever happened with that? I know Summer isn't over yet, but have you talked to her any more? Just wondering how things are going.

Not much has happened on this front. I need to figure out when to call her because of the time zone difference and a subject to talk about. I haven't really been putting to much thought into it lately and need to just man up and hit the call button. Other than a little texting here and there I haven't been talking to her much. Also on the topic of girls I've seen some great advice on here recently but I might be posting a wall o' text here pretty soon on the topic. Also in regards to girls this is how I feel working in a small town for the summer and attending a college with the guy to girl ratio of an aircraft carrier-

[ATTACH=CONFIG]4547[/ATTACH]

[Guest Snake McClain]

-

[ATTACH=CONFIG]4547[/ATTACH]

i shouldn't laugh but...lol

[161803398874989]

like I said, I really don't like meeting new people

I'm going to guess that it's not so much the new people you don't like, but rather the awkwardness that comes with it because it's not something you do often. Guess what, if you're ever to rid yourself of that fear, you'll have to face it head on. Besides, once you've met new people, it's all fun.

Meeting new people is to friends as exercise is to getting stronger. You won't like it at first, but it'll grow on you.

[Jcannon98188]

I'm going to guess that it's not so much the new people you don't like, but rather the awkwardness that comes with it because it's not something you do often. Guess what, if you're ever to rid yourself of that fear, you'll have to face it head on. Besides, once you've met new people, it's all fun.

Meeting new people is to friends as exercise is to getting stronger. You won't like it at first, but it'll grow on you.

Yeah that is kinda what I meant. I have slight Social Anxiety, and so I literally freak out whenever I have to talk to someone that I don't really have an excuse to talk to. If I am talking to someone for like work or to ask for assistance with something, I can do it no problem, but if I have to just talk to them, like make small talk...... can't do it. But I know I NEED to in order to get over that fear. It's just really weird. Plus, I'm never really in a position to meet people, so even if I wanted to talk to people I honestly wouldn't know the first place to start :-/

[Church]

Yeah that is kinda what I meant. I have slight Social Anxiety, and so I literally freak out whenever I have to talk to someone that I don't really have an excuse to talk to. If I am talking to someone for like work or to ask for assistance with something, I can do it no problem, but if I have to just talk to them, like make small talk...... can't do it. But I know I NEED to in order to get over that fear. It's just really weird. Plus, I'm never really in a position to meet people, so even if I wanted to talk to people I honestly wouldn't know the first place to start :-/

Man it's like I'm reading about me here! Lol. So at least neither of us is alone. What's your strategy to deal with it, if I might ask?

[Jcannon98188]

Man it's like I'm reading about me here! Lol. So at least neither of us is alone. What's your strategy to deal with it, if I might ask?

When I DO decide to talk to people I don't know (which is not very often) I always "fake it till I make it". I pretend to be "all that" and "gangster" (but in such a manner that everyone knows I am joking and not actually serious) which is usually good for a few laughs, and once some people start laughing I usually get a little more comfortable to try and talk to people. Other than that, I tend to just stay to myself or within my circle of friends.

[leadchipmunk]

Leadchipmunk, don't you have friends? Call up some old buddies, have a few parties. When there, make it your goal to have a conversation with a couple of new people. Ask them where they are from, what they do, what they thought of the latest Celtics game, or whatever team you have there. The thing with making conversation is, it's pretty damn easy. And before you make excuses, this is coming from a guy who had trouble buying a bread and not because he didn't have the money or couldn't carry the bread.

I can't say that I really have any friends. There are 5, one is an ex that I'm not to keen on doing much more than texting her, 2 are engaged and it is nigh impossible to get them together and have them not have sex, one friend who works then comes home and sleeps and wakes and works (repeat ad nauseum), and my last friend lives 2.5 hours away (I believe) but is only back for a month because his father died.

But I do understand what you are saying, pretty much just get out there. And be a man, don't be overly passive.

When it comes to just TALKING to women, not ulterior motives involved, I found it helpful to mentally unic-ize yourself. AS soon as you remove all sexual tension/pressure/expectations you realize they are just people. Moving on from that, probably more than half the people you meet will be dicks (read: your personality and theirs won't jive), expect that and move on. Most people are so wrapped up in their own...stuff...that they keep people at a distance. It's very rare when two people meet and become fast friends, it's usually a long drawn out process of mutual experiences and slowly opening yourself to more and more potentially perilous personal interactions (read: hope/fears, this one time at band camp, etc.). That being said, some people will ALWAYS be acquaintances no matter how much work you put into trying to make it more. Little steps, and let things develop organically (no, I don't mean fertilize it with manure )

So, don't expect anything to happen other than a conversation? I can do that. Oh, and no manure, was that a euphemism to say "Don't BS people"? Because that sounds like pretty good advice too. Haha

Well for the next 6 months, I plan to spend my time at the gym (just got a gym membership yesterday) or studying for school, and next year I plan to move to Idaho for school, so that will be my "outside my comfort zone". haha.

Best of luck in the new town/state bro.

okay so the girl and i had that little..whatever it was. I was and AM still doing school. actually just bought a lap top the other day. WOO go me. So that is my situationright now with that. School is for me and needs to be done. the time frame moved a little but it's all good. and i'm happy.

regarding the gal...well after that surprise kissing incident things have been AWESOME! we are just on fire right now. she's starting to seem really crazy for me again. things are well. very well. on both fronts.

Wonderful to her Snake. Keep it up, keep it interesting, and keep us abreast.

So this started up about 2 weeks ago after I downloaded an update. Pretty much I launch the game and after the usual Steam logo appears it crashes and the HL2.exe failed error window came up. I looked into the issue and it said it might be an issue with my firewall so I went into my firewall and changed opened it up for hl2.exe. I also tried reinstalling the game (3times) and such but I haven't found anything that makes a difference. That's all I know about the issue so if you or anyone else can figure something out from the above that would be great. Otherwise I'll be happy with LOL and BF3 for awhile.

You may need to uninstall and reinstall any other games you have that use HL2's Source engine. I believe they all use the same "HL2.exe" but could be corrupted. Are you able to play any other Source game?

Not much has happened on this front. I need to figure out when to call her because of the time zone difference and a subject to talk about. I haven't really been putting to much thought into it lately and need to just man up and hit the call button. Other than a little texting here and there I haven't been talking to her much. Also on the topic of girls I've seen some great advice on here recently but I might be posting a wall o' text here pretty soon on the topic. Also in regards to girls this is how I feel working in a small town for the summer and attending a college with the guy to girl ratio of an aircraft carrier-

[ATTACH=CONFIG]4547[/ATTACH]

See? This is a sign. I brought it back, therefore it must inevitably happen. Call her to catch up over the Summer, ask about her plans for next semester, ask her out when she gets back. Maybe save the last one for later.

Also, awesome random picture. I laughed when I saw it.

[Church]

When I DO decide to talk to people I don't know (which is not very often) I always "fake it till I make it". I pretend to be "all that" and "gangster" (but in such a manner that everyone knows I am joking and not actually serious) which is usually good for a few laughs, and once some people start laughing I usually get a little more comfortable to try and talk to people. Other than that, I tend to just stay to myself or within my circle of friends.

I'm exactly the same way, but my method of breaking out of my shell was actually derived from research I did into women and dating.

(yes I was THAT guy. Read and then judge)

And it's a long drawn out affair.

After doing countless google searches into all kinds of topics, no matter how loosely they were associated, I noticed that all of these little tips and tricks were basically deceptions to help you seem like a certain type of guy.

Particularly to tips that said "don't answer every text right away, bail on plans at the last minute, give backhanded compliments so she know you see her good qualities but won't give up the world because of them."

(I'm not going to go into specifics because I don't want to sully the rebellion by linking that trash on here)

And I thought to myself, why be disingenuous, and counter to my own nature, when I can just BECOME the man that these behaviors are meant to mimic?

You know? If I cancel plans at the last minute its because something SUPER important really DID come up. If I don't answer right away it's because I AM busy, etc. etc.

I'm not there yet but I'm working on, slowly beginning to structure my entire life around becoming who I want to be. To this end I joined the Rebellion, I'm going skydiving, I'm looking into local parkour groups, local dojos, I'm finally deciding which second language I want to learn first, I'm becoming athletic, I'm furthering my career.

It's not the quick method, and the scary part is coming soon (where I actually have to join clubs and meet people and make friends and such) but I feel it's the best way to go about it. After all, you can't expect others to love you until you love yourself, right?

The only down-side is that it could wind up being YEARS before I get laid again :s lol

[leadchipmunk]

Particularly to tips that said "don't answer every text right away, bail on plans at the last minute, give backhanded compliments so she know you see her good qualities but won't give up the world because of them."

(I'm not going to go into specifics because I don't want to sully the rebellion by linking that trash on here)

XKCD to the rescue!

[The Shogun]

Today I woke up with this need to talk to someone and vent out and ask for advice about something that happened to me yesterday. I already talked to some of my friends, and told them I needed some sort of moral compass in this. Although I already know what to do pretty much I think you'll understand what I'm a little confused about what to do. I think this is a decision every man has to deal no once but several times in his life. I woke up thinking "If only I had a place with a bunch of guys who could hear me and I could hear their opinions... " and it became obvious that I already had it.

Some background: I live in South America, in a Spanish-speaker country. I'm a teacher. I work in an institute where we teach English to kids, teenagers and grown-ups. Ahd this kind of things has happened to me before, but mostly with young girls (over age, of course) and I have always rejected the idea because of the risk being too high.

I don't know if it is because I'm in an authority position or is is a matter of that old fetish with the rebel young teacher...(I am the youngest teacher, and I do look kind of rebellious always wearing black) I don't know but there's always the girl who flirts with you.

Now, this time, there's this married woman (early 30's or late 20s, I actually don't know) who has activated all the signs, she calls me by my name but still keeps talking to me in a formal way, she touches me when she speaks to me, she insists on commute with me (I take the bus), etc And yesterday, I couldn't work because we had a blackout in the whole block, I was there talking with the other teachers and she was there too but she insisted to leave with me and waited for me, even when all the teacher were speaking in fast fluid English and she couldn't understand a word we were saying. (She's a beginner). On the way home, she sat next to me and asked my phone number, "just in case there's another blackout, I could call her and notify her", I could hear Admiral Ackbar's voice screaming "IT'S A TRAP!" but sometimes I'm very naive because I replied "But for that I would need your phone number..." and she called me right away to give me hers. She got off before I did, and I was barely home when I received two messages from here, I replied like nothing has happened and before I knew it she was flirting with me!

ok, ok, ok... first, I've got to admit it was an unexpected ego boost... I talked to some of my friends and two of them told me "Go for it... It's not your fault she's married, she's the one starting it, etc" and another one told me "Don't do it, that never ends well".

I know where that road ends. I've taken it before and I didn't like the end. Of course, little Gabriel down there keeps screaming

. And I've pretty much decided to kindly refuse her. But I can't go all "Oh blimey! Time for tea! I'm afraid I've got to go, dear! Toodles!" on her, right? What should I say?

Another friend quoted Sting to me "A gentleman will walk, but never run". What's that supposed to mean?

And... in case you're wondering... she isn't THAT hot.

[Jcannon98188]

I wouldn't come between her and her husband. She may be hitting on you, but you don't have to hit on her back. Just my honest opinion.

[The Shogun]

I wouldn't come between her and her husband. She may be hitting on you, but you don't have to hit on her back. Just my honest opinion.

Exactly! it makes me a little angry, specially when I consider her husband. I have done it before but I don't want to be a jerk anymore. And I have decided to tell her no. I'm just thinking on how to do it.

[Church]

Today I woke up with this need to talk to someone and vent out and ask for advice about something that happened to me yesterday. I already talked to some of my friends, and told them I needed some sort of moral compass in this. Although I already know what to do pretty much I think you'll understand what I'm a little confused about what to do. I think this is a decision every man has to deal no once but several times in his life. I woke up thinking "If only I had a place with a bunch of guys who could hear me and I could hear their opinions... " and it became obvious that I already had it.

Some background: I live in South America, in a Spanish-speaker country. I'm a teacher. I work in an institute where we teach English to kids, teenagers and grown-ups. Ahd this kind of things has happened to me before, but mostly with young girls (over age, of course) and I have always rejected the idea because of the risk being too high.

I don't know if it is because I'm in an authority position or is is a matter of that old fetish with the rebel young teacher...(I am the youngest teacher, and I do look kind of rebellious always wearing black) I don't know but there's always the girl who flirts with you.

Now, this time, there's this married woman (early 30's or late 20s, I actually don't know) who has activated all the signs, she calls me by my name but still keeps talking to me in a formal way, she touches me when she speaks to me, she insists on commute with me (I take the bus), etc And yesterday, I couldn't work because we had a blackout in the whole block, I was there talking with the other teachers and she was there too but she insisted to leave with me and waited for me, even when all the teacher were speaking in fast fluid English and she couldn't understand a word we were saying. (She's a beginner). On the way home, she sat next to me and asked my phone number, "just in case there's another blackout, I could call her and notify her", I could hear Admiral Ackbar's voice screaming "IT'S A TRAP!" but sometimes I'm very naive because I replied "But for that I would need your phone number..." and she called me right away to give me hers. She got off before I did, and I was barely home when I received two messages from here, I replied like nothing has happened and before I knew it she was flirting with me!

ok, ok, ok... first, I've got to admit it was an unexpected ego boost... I talked to some of my friends and two of them told me "Go for it... It's not your fault she's married, she's the one starting it, etc" and another one told me "Don't do it, that never ends well".

I know where that road ends. I've taken it before and I didn't like the end. Of course, little Gabriel down there keeps screaming

. And I've pretty much decided to kindly refuse her. But I can't go all "Oh blimey! Time for tea! I'm afraid I've got to go, dear! Toodles!" on her, right? What should I say?

Another friend quoted Sting to me "A gentleman will walk, but never run". What's that supposed to mean?

And... in case you're wondering... she isn't THAT hot.

My only words of advice are that "guns don't kill people. Husbands that come home early do."

[leadchipmunk]

I've been down that road before, and it isn't pretty. Fun (for a time), but doesn't end pretty. My advice is don't do it. First, she's married. Don't do anything with a married chick until the divorce is final (or you are the one married to her). Second, you are her teacher. It may not be against the rules where you are, but you would be overstepping your bounds and it would be very unprofessional. Would you date your sensei? Or better yet (since they should be of a high moral standing), would your sensei date you? (in this situation your sensei is female that you have an interest in, may not be true in real life) You should never overstep the bounds of a teacher/pupil relationship (ignore the samurai and their apprentices for this case).

But you seem to have already decided against doing it. So for the "Oh blimey! Time for tea! I'm afraid I've got to go, dear! Toodles!" question. That is awesome, I say try it just to see the reaction (or if she even understands, being a beginner English speaker). You should explain the situation (she's married, there are teacher/pupil boundaries, she isn't even THAT hot, any others reasons you may have). Don't be condescending and just try to be pleasant about it. Also let her know that she shouldn't contact you outside of the school anymore. If she does, block her number. If she keeps with the flirting while you are at work, let your boss know and see if there is any way that (s)he could make the student switch to another ESL teacher, if available.

Also bro,

I do look kind of rebellious always wearing black

I think you need a fashion update. Haha. Rebellious isn't in anymore, fashionable (or modern) professional looks so much better.

Just thought of something. Bonus points if you write down the discussion you want to have with her in English and give it to her after class telling her to translate it into Spanish for extra credit. If she understands it as she's translating, it would be cool in a dick sort of way

[Jcannon98188]

I've been down that road before, and it isn't pretty. Fun (for a time), but doesn't end pretty. My advice is don't do it. First, she's married. Don't do anything with a married chick until the divorce is final (or you are the one married to her). Second, you are her teacher. It may not be against the rules where you are, but you would be overstepping your bounds and it would be very unprofessional. Would you date your sensei? Or better yet (since they should be of a high moral standing), would your sensei date you? (in this situation your sensei is female that you have an interest in, may not be true in real life) You should never overstep the bounds of a teacher/pupil relationship (ignore the samurai and their apprentices for this case).

But you seem to have already decided against doing it. So for the "Oh blimey! Time for tea! I'm afraid I've got to go, dear! Toodles!" question. That is awesome, I say try it just to see the reaction (or if she even understands, being a beginner English speaker). You should explain the situation (she's married, there are teacher/pupil boundaries, she isn't even THAT hot, any others reasons you may have). Don't be condescending and just try to be pleasant about it. Also let her know that she shouldn't contact you outside of the school anymore. If she does, block her number. If she keeps with the flirting while you are at work, let your boss know and see if there is any way that (s)he could make the student switch to another ESL teacher, if available.

Also bro,

I think you need a fashion update. Haha. Rebellious isn't in anymore, fashionable (or modern) professional looks so much better.

Just thought of something. Bonus points if you write down the discussion you want to have with her in English and give it to her after class telling her to translate it into Spanish for extra credit. If she understands it as she's translating, it would be cool in a dick sort of way

But it would be epic fail if she doesn't understand it and turns it back into you completed XD

[leadchipmunk]

Then make her read it out loud. In both English and Spanish. If that doesn't work, give up all hope.

[Church]

Then make her read it out loud. In both English and Spanish. If that doesn't work, give up all hope.

If that doesn't work just go out and buy a gold band to wear on your finger, it doesn't even have to be real, then poof: You're fake-married and thus, unavailable. It's fool proof!

[leadchipmunk]

If that doesn't work just go out and buy a gold band to wear on your finger, it doesn't even have to be real, then poof: You're fake-married and thus, unavailable. It's fool proof!

She already is married and that isn't stopping her. Why would making both of them have affairs make a difference in her mind?

[Jcannon98188]

If that doesn't work just go out and buy a gold band to wear on your finger, it doesn't even have to be real, then poof: You're fake-married and thus, unavailable. It's fool proof!

This girl I used to work with did that. We were chatting one day when I looked down and saw a ring on her finger. I didn't remember that ever being there so I asked about it. She took it off and said she wears it so guys will stop trying to hit on her

[Artinum]

Another friend quoted Sting to me "A gentleman will walk, but never run". What's that supposed to mean?

As an Englishman... I don't know. Perhaps your friend is suggesting you should stay cool. Don't respond to her flirting, but don't run away either (which is just another response!). Ignoring her advances should eventually get the message across, but it might be hard (no innuendo intended). Confronting her about it could damage your working relationship, so don't do that unless you have to.

I wonder if she really wants to go THAT far with you. Married life can grow stale - that initial spark she had with her husband may have gone by now. It's not (necessarily) sex she's after, but the thrill of the chase, the flirting and the excitement. You may not be the first "affair" she's gone on.

I don't need to tell you not to do it. You've already figured that out for yourself.

[Tom Kenobi]

What should I say?

G, you don't know her age, so here is the PERFECT way to end this. "So, what are you....38?"

And then when she gets offended and says: "NO, I'm 32..29,28,27.....21" you can then say: 'Wow...could've fooled me!"

BAM!

HAHAHAHAHAAHAAA