ETFnerd Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 there are many reasons to give up on yourself...some are seductively reasonable...I can't because...I need to take care of others...I need to spend more quality time with my loved ones...I need to work harder...I need to focus on other things...I need to put food on the table...I need to do something urgent right away... for the next 6 months...but all of these things can be made better by a better me that takes good care of myself.What is the baseline of self care that allows you to maximize your potential? Should I brush my teeth and shower every day?Can my car run better if I save the time it takes to change the oil?*************************************************************************I'd like to hear your best reason why you can't take time to be the best you that you can be... please share and please do not be judgmental about anyone's contribution... Quote i don't care what u think of me. unless u think i'm awesome. in which case u're right. Intro - Workout Log - ABS Log - Fitness Philosophy - Accountability - NERDEE - Weight Maintenance Link to comment
verin Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 I don't want to use the words can't. But my biggest issue is being alone. And currently in my life when i'm offline i am very much alone and scare away new friends by being too overwhelming. I'm considering seeing a therapist or someone to talk to in the real world. Quote Link to comment
Gainsdalf the Whey Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 There isn't a reason. I've made this discovery recently, much to the chagrin of my significant other at times, but there isn't. Only I can let myself not go to the gym, others can't control that. Only I choose what I eat, no one else. Quote Massrandir, Barkûn, Swolórin, The Whey Pilgrim 500 / 330 / 625 Challenges: 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 31 32 34 35 36 39 41 42 45 46 47 48 49 Current Challenge "No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. " ~ Socrates "Friends don't let friends squat high." ~ Chad Wesley Smith "It's a dangerous business, Brodo, squatting to the floor. You step into the rack, and if you don't keep your form, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ Gainsdalf Link to comment
ETFnerd Posted January 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 scarletleavy wrote recently about how doing things that she loves, and that fulfill her have made her exude confidence... and that has made her more attractive to many people...i remember that when reading the poem you posted, that you seemed to still be working through your break-up. i don't know if i can offer much more than an occasional encouraging word, but i know that i have been through tough break-ups too and in my experience it will heal over time... until then, pass the time as productively as you can and explore every opportunity because great friendships and more can be around the corner and even right under your nose... Quote i don't care what u think of me. unless u think i'm awesome. in which case u're right. Intro - Workout Log - ABS Log - Fitness Philosophy - Accountability - NERDEE - Weight Maintenance Link to comment
Guest Snake McClain Posted January 31, 2012 Report Share Posted January 31, 2012 I understand completely what Verin is saying. I spend so much time alone that when I am around people i sort of lose it. This community keeps me somewhat sane. That said my biggest reason...Honestly i would say money. For the things I need money for. Like to eat better it costs. And it is sad to say but at my low(er) income groceries are last on the list. Which sounds crazy but i work around it. Quote Link to comment
oystergirl Posted February 1, 2012 Report Share Posted February 1, 2012 Nerdboy, you know for me I used to have millions of excuses and like Corey I have recently realized that ME being the best I CAN be in good times and bad the only thing I can control and so, there ARE no excuses...even if tough things happen, it takes only a second for a creative brain to modify things to fit...Me, being my best, is the best thing I can offer to the world...to all the people in my world and ultimately to myself... Quote The real world is bizarre enough for me....Blue Oyster Cult! Oystergirl: Bad Assed Lightcaster (aka wizard!) STR: 2 | DEX: 3 | CON: 3 | STA: 2 | WIS: 4 | CHA: 5 Oystergirl's Bad Ass Lightcaster Wicked Rocking Adventure Challenge! Come visit my wicked rocking Nerd Fitness blog! Link to comment
Hermione Gainser Posted February 1, 2012 Report Share Posted February 1, 2012 I can't because I'm terrified of being the best me and terrified of failing at trying to become the best me. The ongoing battle against self. Quote "I'm just going to remember to not eat like an asshole most of the time" - MoC three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: one must squat.- Brobert Frost Half-Elf Warrior | Current Challenge New Battle Log | Old Battle Log Special thanks to AkLulu for drawing my awesome avatar! Link to comment
Rosie Posted February 1, 2012 Report Share Posted February 1, 2012 There isn't a reason. I've made this discovery recently, much to the chagrin of my significant other at times, but there isn't. Only I can let myself not go to the gym, others can't control that. Only I choose what I eat, no one else.Exactly my thoughts too. I used to let things stop be trying my hardest but in the end only I can try hard at something an no one else is going to do it for me. Money also used to be an issue for me and yet I always seemed to find the cash to go to the pub with my friends and spend in an evening what a gym membership costs a month. Once I changed that mindset and realise that if I go to the gym for an hour, it'll stop me spending £40 out with friends, I think of it as saving me money, not costing me more! Quote [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Twitter Blog Attributes: Strength (STR): 3 Dexterity (DEX): 1 Stamina (STA): 4 Constitution (CON): 2 Wisdom (WIS): 3 Charisma (CHA): 2 Link to comment
bigm141414 Posted February 1, 2012 Report Share Posted February 1, 2012 I can't because I'm terrified of being the best me and terrified of failing at trying to become the best me. The ongoing battle against self.^This. Me too. Failure is not an option so best not to start thereby never failing. (Yes, I know there are arguments to be made that by not trying you are failing anyway, but we're talking about the scary mental realm of BigM logic. Normal rules do not apply there.) Quote "Pull the bar like you're ripping the head off a god-damned lion" - Donny Shankle Link to comment
Rosie Posted February 1, 2012 Report Share Posted February 1, 2012 ^This. Me too. Failure is not an option so best not to start thereby never failing. (Yes, I know there are arguments to be made that by not trying you are failing anyway, but we're talking about the scary mental realm of BigM logic. Normal rules do not apply there.)Winston Churchill said it best "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Quote [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] Twitter Blog Attributes: Strength (STR): 3 Dexterity (DEX): 1 Stamina (STA): 4 Constitution (CON): 2 Wisdom (WIS): 3 Charisma (CHA): 2 Link to comment
bigm141414 Posted February 1, 2012 Report Share Posted February 1, 2012 Winston Churchill said it best "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."That's one smart peacemaking, cigar smoking, all around wise Brit. Quote "Pull the bar like you're ripping the head off a god-damned lion" - Donny Shankle Link to comment
Hermione Gainser Posted February 1, 2012 Report Share Posted February 1, 2012 ^This. Me too. Failure is not an option so best not to start thereby never failing. (Yes, I know there are arguments to be made that by not trying you are failing anyway, but we're talking about the scary mental realm of BigM logic. Normal rules do not apply there.)Exactly. Also, I think possibly the logic Vince Vaughn uses/explains in a scene in Dodgeball. And hey, they won 50 million dollars and he got to watch hot chicks make out. Quote "I'm just going to remember to not eat like an asshole most of the time" - MoC three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: one must squat.- Brobert Frost Half-Elf Warrior | Current Challenge New Battle Log | Old Battle Log Special thanks to AkLulu for drawing my awesome avatar! Link to comment
Katie.Marie Posted February 3, 2012 Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 My biggest reason for negating my health is fear. As long as I am out of shape, I can claim its my body that people don't like not me, and I know I can change my body whenever I want. It makes a nice crutch. Quote Yesterday is gone...FOCUS ON TODAY!...Let God worry about tomorrow. Link to comment
Zorch Posted February 3, 2012 Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 I'd like to hear your best reason why you can't take time to be the best you that you can be... please share and please do not be judgmental about anyone's contribution...Time, and diminishing return on investment. For everything there's a point of diminishing returns; the trick is to find the right balance that maximizes the whole. At some point I'm not maximizing my fitness because I'm dedicating a portion of my time to relationships, career, etc. - and because I'm already spending enough time that while additional time may yield some benefits, the return is relatively small compared to the time invested - whereas the returns on spending additional time/energy elsewhere are much greater. But so long as I have worthy goals and am successfully progressing toward them, I'm happy. Quote "Restlessness is discontent - and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man-and I will show you a failure." -Thomas Edison Link to comment
oystergirl Posted February 4, 2012 Report Share Posted February 4, 2012 I always loved this....applies here I think!Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamsonit is our light not our darkness that most frightens usOur deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God.Your playing small does not serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that otherpeople won't feel insecure around you.We were born to make manifest the glory ofGod that is within us.It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.And as we let our own light shine,we unconsciously give other peoplepermission to do the same.As we are liberated from our own fear,Our presence automatically liberates others.—Marianne Williamson Quote The real world is bizarre enough for me....Blue Oyster Cult! Oystergirl: Bad Assed Lightcaster (aka wizard!) STR: 2 | DEX: 3 | CON: 3 | STA: 2 | WIS: 4 | CHA: 5 Oystergirl's Bad Ass Lightcaster Wicked Rocking Adventure Challenge! Come visit my wicked rocking Nerd Fitness blog! Link to comment
ebm1224 Posted February 4, 2012 Report Share Posted February 4, 2012 I can't because I'm terrified of being the best me and terrified of failing at trying to become the best me. The ongoing battle against self.laura, i relate so much to this. i've lost weight before (unhealthily and not on purpose) and when people would compliment me on it, it would mess with my head so much. i've been afraid for way too long that, if i actually try and do this the right way, it won't work, it won't stick...and then where will i be? as a person who can only be at her ideal weight when she starves herself and is unhappy?but fear is not becoming on me. so i'm trying to reject these thoughts. etf, i loved your line about brushing your teeth and showering. i think you said something like that to me once a couple months ago when i was in a rut with not getting my workouts in. i don't remember exactly what you said but it really affected me. and i am really starting to look at taking care of my health and doing the things i know how to do and know i should do as non-negotiable. it doesn't matter if none of my friends and family go to the gym...for me, doing so is not "extra." it is the standard. i wouldn't go for a week without brushing my teeth...what makes me think that i can go for a week without exercise?i just wanted to thank you for helping me get my butt in gear. actually, thanks to everyone here for that - you all inspire me. Quote Link to comment
Timmy M Posted February 4, 2012 Report Share Posted February 4, 2012 I always loved this....applies here I think!Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamsonit is our light not our darkness that most frightens usOur deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God.Your playing small does not serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that otherpeople won't feel insecure around you.We were born to make manifest the glory ofGod that is within us.It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.And as we let our own light shine,we unconsciously give other peoplepermission to do the same.As we are liberated from our own fear,Our presence automatically liberates others.—Marianne Williamsonloved that quote when i first heard it in Coach Carter Quote Link to comment
Naturally Posted February 4, 2012 Report Share Posted February 4, 2012 Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?Your playing small does not serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that otherpeople won't feel insecure around you.I love this poem, especially these few lines in particular. Its helped me on several things and now my fitness and weight loss journey, thanks for sharing and reminding me of it I can't because I'm terrified of being the best me and terrified of failing at trying to become the best me. The ongoing battle against self.My biggest reason for negating my health is fear. As long as I am out of shape, I can claim its my body that people don't like not me, and I know I can change my body whenever I want. It makes a nice crutch.So true for me too. I'm afraid that failing to get fit and lose weight will make me more emotionally uncomfortable than not trying. I did an introduction to facilitated therapy recently, and the chap who was training had a system which, put simply, works. Its based on fear, and specifically, fear that you may not be the person that you hope you are. If you work through the program, ultimately you realise that at your very essence of YOU, you are the person that you hope you are, and everything else is the ego building up layers which alledgedly protect you but ultimately perpetuate your fear of being something that you are not. Its about staying in your comfort zone, which doesn't really allow you to grow.I fear that I'm not a nice person. I fear that I'm shallow and vain, I fear that people won't like me. I fear that I'm not "useful" to this world. Most prominent of my fears at the moment, is what if I'm really meant to be fat all my life? I've dieted, lost weight, put on more in cycles and cycles, and I'm afraid that I'm destined continue my life like this. The easy option is to carry on eating and not exercising. The easy option is for people who want to stay in their comfort zone, and not grow and evolve. Being a spiritual person I believe that we are here to experience the human state to develop and grow, in spite of the challenging environment of being human. Isn't it someone's signature on here that says "nobody ever said it would be easy. And you wouldn't want it to be, either." Quote The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually afraid to make one. - Elbert Hubbard Link to comment
scotticus Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 I can't because I'm terrified of being the best me and terrified of failing at trying to become the best me. The ongoing battle against self.Although It's relevant to many responses, I'm tagging this on to yours, Laura. You mentioned this same thing in one of your blog posts a while ago and I wanted to post this then (but couldn't find it on my computer).Check it:I've been referring to this thing daily, as I'm working through some stuff of my own. C'est bon! Quote Link to comment
Atalan Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 That's one smart peacemaking, cigar smoking, all around wise Brit.Imagine all the things Albert Einstein and Abe Lincoln would be believed to have said if Churchill wasn't so witty. Quote Link to comment
oystergirl Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 Self discovery is an amazing thing. It often shows us that we are doing something for an entirely different reason than we once thought. I thought most of my recent weight issues had to do with stuffing emotions around my husband's unemployment, but after thinking about the exact moment when I went from being my old self, which I had maintained for over 10 years, to my new self, I realized it related to a very frightening event where I felt the situation was out of control and I needed protection. All this body weight is about becoming invisible and protecting myself. When I came to terms with that event in my life, I was able to release all that protection and become visible again to the world...I really did a number on myself, even shrinking from the camera, not wanting to venture out too much...but I have come a long way and realize that being STRONG and being myself in the body that I love is so important. Now that I know that, I can release and own who I am again. Quote The real world is bizarre enough for me....Blue Oyster Cult! Oystergirl: Bad Assed Lightcaster (aka wizard!) STR: 2 | DEX: 3 | CON: 3 | STA: 2 | WIS: 4 | CHA: 5 Oystergirl's Bad Ass Lightcaster Wicked Rocking Adventure Challenge! Come visit my wicked rocking Nerd Fitness blog! Link to comment
Pat G Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 I can't take the time to be the best i can be because: I have no* time to make me the best i can be. Time is fleeting in a day spent driving 3.5-4hrs to and from work. As a result it turns into a lack of motivation for hobbies, fun things, projects and commitments. Which in turn leads to apathy. In the real world, I've been blessed with a supportive group of brothers and leaders who have helped pick me up over and over again and enabled me to get my focus back on the goal. *no meaning, without losing any more of my 7 hours sleep Quote "Strength is the cup. The bigger the cup, the more you can put in" - JDanger Link to comment
Naturally Posted February 5, 2012 Report Share Posted February 5, 2012 PatG have you thought about downloading some podcasts to listen to to make your car journey more productive? Quote The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually afraid to make one. - Elbert Hubbard Link to comment
Daffy Posted February 6, 2012 Report Share Posted February 6, 2012 Driving 7 hours a day? Damn. I feel for you man, that must be rough. Quote Link to comment
ETFnerd Posted February 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2012 i feel fortunate to be able to see you, oystergirl... Quote i don't care what u think of me. unless u think i'm awesome. in which case u're right. Intro - Workout Log - ABS Log - Fitness Philosophy - Accountability - NERDEE - Weight Maintenance Link to comment
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