stressed out/i have a question

[CalvinHobbes]

Ok so this isn't one of those "I have so much going on" or "my life sucks" vents, but it's a pretty annoying, obnoxious, stop-reading-here-if-you-are-going-to-get-pissed-off kind of vents.

I'm graduating in May with a BSN and will be an RN whenever I pass my boards. I'm not stressed about my grades or not getting my dream job like the rest of my graduating class....I'm stressed because I have no freaking clue what I want to do.

I honestly like EVERYTHING enough (except possibly nursing homes) but I haven't found that passion in a certain specialty my friends have found. I've also been told that there's a 99% chance I'll get into grad school at my current college.

I have no strong desire to be in any part of the country--I like Boston enough, but I know there aren't any nursing jobs here and if I have to leave I will. I just feel like any decision I make will be the wrong decision.

SO to all those real-world people out there....my question is:

How the hell did you figure out what you want??

[bigm141414]

How the hell did you figure out what you want??

Easy: go do things Seriously, if you like everything and haven't found a passion yet, that just means you need to get out there and try a lot of stuff until you do. And you can't make the wrong decision because what ever you end up doing you'll learn something, either about the world or about yourself which ends up leading to a better you.

[Guest guest4729]

How the hell did you figure out what you want??

I may not be in the real world yet, but I'd like to add my two cents.

I figured out what I wanted by figuring out what I'm MOST passionate about. Since you're having trouble doing that, why not make some lists of each field you COULD go into and then why you each separate field, its pros and its cons. Perhaps that will help narrow it down to two options out of many. From there - do research, ask questions, ask your professors/mentors. Maybe once you actually do some outside research you might not like one career field as much as you first thought. Or maybe after you talk to one of your teachers you'll realize a different one isn't right for you because you don't have as much room to grow.

If possible, do some job shadowing and see what it's like to be in a certain position for a day or two. This might be a bit harder to do, but I'm sure it's possible.

Also, why not look at the possibilities of switching things around in your career? Do you HAVE to be dedicated to ONE line of work, or can you switch every now and then or work for a company that caters to two career paths?

If there's one thing that I learned from Alumni from my college it's that most of them don't end up doing ANYTHING related to their major. Don't assume that if you set your goals in one direction you won't be able to change to something else later on. You'll always have those options open to you, it just might be a bit harder to get to them later down the road.

[CalvinHobbes]

I may not be in the real world yet, but I'd like to add my two cents.

I figured out what I wanted by figuring out what I'm MOST passionate about. Since you're having trouble doing that, why not make some lists of each field you COULD go into and then why you each separate field, its pros and its cons. Perhaps that will help narrow it down to two options out of many. From there - do research, ask questions, ask your professors/mentors. Maybe once you actually do some outside research you might not like one career field as much as you first thought. Or maybe after you talk to one of your teachers you'll realize a different one isn't right for you because you don't have as much room to grow.

If possible, do some job shadowing and see what it's like to be in a certain position for a day or two. This might be a bit harder to do, but I'm sure it's possible.

Also, why not look at the possibilities of switching things around in your career? Do you HAVE to be dedicated to ONE line of work, or can you switch every now and then or work for a company that caters to two career paths?

If there's one thing that I learned from Alumni from my college it's that most of them don't end up doing ANYTHING related to their major. Don't assume that if you set your goals in one direction you won't be able to change to something else later on. You'll always have those options open to you, it just might be a bit harder to get to them later down the road.

I want to be a nurse, that's decided. I've job shadowed 7 nursing fields and loved every one. I did the pros and cons...there just aren't cons.

I agree that most people don't end up doing anything that they graduated in, but I don't see that being the case with nurses. Almost all end up being a nurse of some sort, but there are SO many different choices that it's painful to think about. I'm passionate about whatever I am in.

[LRB]

A few thoughts: You can't go wrong -- if you like it all, and there are no cons, then consider things other than whether you love the job. For example, when considering an offer - are these people I think I can work with? What hours are expected here? What is the salary? What will my life be like outside of work?

What is your passion other than nursing? Is it knitting? If so, can you live someplace near a knitting store (or even a sheep farm)? Is it weightlifting? Does the facility have a gym on-site that you can use? Is it partying? Does the city/town have good night spots? Is it opera? Is there an opera house nearby? Do you love horse-back riding? Why not consider Virginia or North Carolina, or someplace with a lot of horse farms? What about sailing? Is there a good community sailing program nearby?

And so on and so on. You're in a very fortunate position that the job you want to have can be done just about anywhere, in all sorts of settings, and you're interested in and willing to take on all of them (well, except nursing homes), so go for the jobs that are available, and then compare them based on other things.

And if someone asks during an interview what you want to specialize in, what kind of place you want to work, etc., describe back to them the job for which you are applying and the place you are applying -- because it is absolutely true that you want to work there. And if they ask where else you are looking, you can name the range, say that your true interest lies in (insert description of job for which you are applying) but since there are limited jobs available with that focus, you thought you should look into others as well. Or be fully honest and say that you're really, really interested in a huge range of nursing practices, and so are thinking about some quality-of-life issues at the same time, and whether a particular facility is someplace you could see yourself remaining for a while.

Hope this helps -- I'm 41, and still don't think I've found the real world. I'm on my fifth job post-college (sixth if you include staying home with kids for two year, and seventh if you count three years of law school as a job) and still not entirely sure what I want to do in the long run, but it's enough to know that I love what I'm doing for now.

[scott82962]

There is also a theory, I forget the author's name, that your paid job is about maximizing your income/return, and your passion is what you do the rest of the time. Interesting, if nothing else.

[AKLulu]

I'm definitely in the same boat, CH. I've been "out in the world" for about two years now and have a great job, but I still have no idea what I want to do or where I want to be. I have a degree in biology and never wanted to work in fisheries, because I grew up commercial fishing and thought I never wanted to be on the management/research side of it. Well, guess what? I'm working in fisheries and I'm actually kind of liking it. I still don't think I'll stick with it for more than a few years, but I haven't figured out what else I want to do. I've thought of going to grad school, but you're supposed to know what you're passionate about before you do, right? The only clue I have is that I'd prefer to work with mammals, but that's a pretty broad field. So I'll keep working where I am now and try something new if I get tired of this. I dislike living this way because I'm one of those people that likes to have a plan, but I've given up trying to plan it I also don't know where in the country/world I want to be. I'd love to be closer to my family, but Alaska isn't the place for me right now (not the kind of opportunities I want). I can think of other places I'd love to live for a year or so, but don't know where I want to settle. I can totally understand how frustrating it can be, but all I can do at this point is hope that if I keep muddling along things will fall into place. I know this isn't really helpful to your plight except that I can relate to you and say - you're not alone! Stay strong and take whatever promising opportunities come your way. If it doesn't make you happy, find something else! That's my plan and I figure it's never too late to change my mind until I'm either dead or have enough money to retire

[oystergirl]

Maybe moving further along will show you what you want to do. Taking the opportunity to do grad school will give you many more opportunities. Maybe you want to be an LPN? Maybe a PA? who knows...but taking the extra time and during that time looking for what lights a fire under your ass is a good thing. When you GET into the real world it is a hell of a lot harder to "go back" and figure it out, so take the opportunity to stay in learning mode, but do so with a focus on WHAT rocks your world! My mom did her nursing certificate and then did her midwifry and that sparked her fire....she was a fine nurse but an amazing midwife....find that level up in your life! BEST of luck!

[Narakyndryn]

I say throw out a few 'fishing lures' and see what bites. You never know, one job might lead to another one you really click with-- or at least the kind of people that'll turn you in the right direction.

[Guest Snake McClain]

You know Calvin I remember about a month ago I was dealing with similar stresses and other things and you chimed in for me...no need to apologize for complaining. Really it isn't even complaining. You're just asking friends for advice. That said...

I have to second the thoughts that of you like a lot of stuff and are not particular to geography then maybe pick a random place and go work there. If its not satisfactory move on. Enjoy yourself. Go do your thing in places that interest you. If you don't like it...move on. You are not nailed down there for eternity dear. Just go enjoy your job you love and try different "styles" until you nail what you want.

[wildross]

I'll add to the thought to not obsess about "the job". As you state, nursing it is, but no particular piece. So what is the second sort field? The third? Ideas (which you've probably already done)..

- $$ both now and in the future (ie, career path)

- living/partner issues. Do you own (or want to own) a house where you are? What effect does it have on your partner/spouse (assuming you have one)?

- hours

- perks (gym, free food, travel, paid schooling)

- facilities Nice buildings, cafeterias, landscaping, etc

- proximity to other things you like. Parents, siblings, leisure activities, education, cultural, sports (guess you're stuck with the Patriots)

- co workers (I don't really like my job, but I love my coworkers)

For some people the job is the passion. For others the job is the way to fund the passion.

[CalvinHobbes]

Thanks for the responses everybody. Last night was stressful because I realized that a lot of the people I've looked up to over my college career actually hate their jobs and situations--it isn't like other majors where we learn from instructors, but we are taught by nurses on floors. All the nurses were sitting in the nurses' station just whining about everything.

Today wasn't much better, because not only was everyone sitting around whining, but we lost two patients. I've been in on codes in the past and lost quite a few patients (sadly), but none have been kids under the age of 10. Today was two--a 4 week old and a 7 year old. It really hit me hard.

[AKLulu]

*HUG* Sorry you had a rough day.

[Guest Snake McClain]

Thanks for the responses everybody. Last night was stressful because I realized that a lot of the people I've looked up to over my college career actually hate their jobs and situations--it isn't like other majors where we learn from instructors, but we are taught by nurses on floors. All the nurses were sitting in the nurses' station just whining about everything.

Today wasn't much better, because not only was everyone sitting around whining, but we lost two patients. I've been in on codes in the past and lost quite a few patients (sadly), but none have been kids under the age of 10. Today was two--a 4 week old and a 7 year old. It really hit me hard.

That is tough. I can't imagine... honestly I don't exactly know what could be said to make you feel better. So ill just shut up and say that I hope things improve and with a little patience things tend to work themselves out.

[Hermione Gainser]

Interesting thread. I'm in the same place. I have no idea what I want to do. I think I find something I'm passionate about and it turns out, nope. I have one other inkling but it would require going back to school (starting my undergrad again) and I'm not sure it would pan out. I like my job a lot. I'm lucky there. But I worry about getting older and never finding a passion. Who knows.

Anyhow, I'm not much help here.... just someone who can commiserate.

Sorry about your super sad day.

[Josh_C]

I have a few friends that are nurses, so I am drawing on their experiences here. They pretty much all wanted to do peds or ER stuff when they graduated, and that's what they did. But one of my friends wanted to travel, so she went to Haiti and worked in a hospital there for a year. A few others got bored with their jobs and did this thing called rotational nursing (that's likely not the real term) where they work in a hospital for like 2 months, then move to another hospital. That could be a nice option for you.

Also, since I love plugging the 'burgh, we've got about a million hospitals here in Pittsburgh.