How do you deal with the sugar/carb/whatever pushers in your life?

[oystergirl]

My sister actually has used the "i am allergic to sugar" line for years...for her, it works-she is a "no carb" gal, but really all diabetics are "allergic" to sugar because even though they are not having a hystamine reaction they are not capable of processing sugar and it is damaging them, so in my mind, like celiac and gluten, thats pretty freaking allergic....

[morethanjustamom]

My sister actually has used the "i am allergic to sugar" line for years...for her, it works-she is a "no carb" gal, but really all diabetics are "allergic" to sugar because even though they are not having a hystamine reaction they are not capable of processing sugar and it is damaging them, so in my mind, like celiac and gluten, thats pretty freaking allergic....

Yeah, I didn't think about the diabetic angle, but that's a really good point.

[AKLulu]

That's the general idea - if you can get past other people staring at you like you're crazy then it's actually fun to yell at inanimate objects (they don't get sad or angry, don't yell back, and have no feelings to hurt).

I think this may be exactly why I wanted to put googly eyes on a doughnut last week... so it wouldn't be quite so inanimate. Though, people around my office are pretty used to me being crazy. I have a rock that I named Tomas with googly eyes, a sombrero, and mustache. He also has a pet plush cow.

[guest439437484421]

You destroy them with the radiance of your awesomeness and the sound of your authoratative "NO!"

[TheRikAllen]

I think this may be exactly why I wanted to put googly eyes on a doughnut last week... so it wouldn't be quite so inanimate. Though, people around my office are pretty used to me being crazy. I have a rock that I named Tomas with googly eyes, a sombrero, and mustache. He also has a pet plush cow.

Tomas sounds awesome. Googly eyed donuts is a great sight, maybe making your weight loss problems (foods that you keep going to) more human (googly eyes...) you'll be less likely to want to eat them, unless you're a cannibal.

[AKLulu]

I don't think it's the human-ness that makes me less likely to want to eat them... I think that's it's easier to be mad at it if you can assign human traits (like taunting and teasing) to it

[Sandstorm]

One of the biggest pushers I know is my boyfriends mother. I don't think she knows how to make anything without large amounts of butter/ sugar/ gluten and get's extremely offended if you don't eat large quantities of everything. Even when I have one plate and then say it was delicious but now I am absolutely stuffed, she tells me there is plenty left and that I should have another plate. When I don't, she starts to pout and complain about how the food must not have been perfect.

Luckily, I don't have to eat with them very often, but my boyfriends niece is in middle school and is going through body issues. She wants to eat healthier. Unfortunately, this woman feeds her cake, convinces her it is 'healthy' because there are eggs and milk in it, and then proceeds to tell her grand daughter that she should loose weight. We don't even know what to do anymore.

[notacommittee]

I just keep saying "no, thank you" until they stop. I'm an adult and my food choices are my own; I don't feel obligated to give any justification or explanation for a food I don't want to eat other than that I don't want to eat it. The minute you start justifying your healthy diet to a food pusher, you create a relationship where they feel it's appropriate to demand justification for your choices, and they think that what you choose to eat is somehow negotiable or debatable based on their wishes. This doesn't apply to people who are genuinely curious or interested, just people who are trying to shove food on me when I've clearly indicated I don't want it.

Family are hard because they can take rejection of their food as a rejection of them, but I try to prevent this by diverting the conversation to something else that shows I care about them as a person, I just don't want any part of the cheesecake they made.

The hardest for me is the passive food pushing (leaving stuff out at the office - so hard to walk past a plate of brownies a hundred times in a day and stay strong every single time!). I do what I call the "five-minute trick" where I tell myself that I just have to NOT eat it for five minutes, and focus on something else. Just five minutes. And then twenty minutes later I look up from whatever I've been focused on and feel so good about myself for resisting the momentary craving that it gives me power to keep my momentum for the rest of the day.

[Rosie]

my mums a bit of a carb pusher even though she's on a diet at the moment which is ever so similat to paleo. She'll make herself,for example, gammon and eggs for dinner which I'd be happy enough to have just at that, but then insists on putting so potatoes in there too for me and my sister! I keep trying to tell her I'm trying to eat primal but she'll still cook carbs at every meal! I feel downright rude if I turn down something she's cooked though so I usually just take a tiny bit of if and load the rest of my plate up on meat and veg!

[AKLulu]

my mums a bit of a carb pusher even though she's on a diet at the moment which is ever so similat to paleo. She'll make herself,for example, gammon and eggs for dinner which I'd be happy enough to have just at that, but then insists on putting so potatoes in there too for me and my sister! I keep trying to tell her I'm trying to eat primal but she'll still cook carbs at every meal! I feel downright rude if I turn down something she's cooked though so I usually just take a tiny bit of if and load the rest of my plate up on meat and veg!

That's too bad - old habits die hard! It is a bit strange for me not cooking a starch too, but definitely less time-consuming!

[Guest Captain GetSwole]

"No thanks."

"Please try it or BUNNIES will DIE!"

"That's a shame."

"...but..."

"Didn't you hear me the first time? NO."

Then walk away.

Sometimes being a meathead has its advantages, as does willingness to be a pariah.

[TeaKwonDo]

Love the sugar allergy line! Here in France food is such a big deal that it's wayy too easy to fall off the bandwagon just by "doing as the Romans do"--baguettes, potatoes, croissants, etc. French people don't think about the health costs because it's a cultural thing; it's just not a concern to them because everyone walks/bikes everywhere and portions are mad tiny. (Imagine vending machines with 3 oz coffees.) So I've taken to saying, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bread," and I'll elaborate to include sugar if necessary. Since I've got Hashimoto's, it's a legitimate excuse, since patients are advised to cut out grains and sugar anyway. For the people who've been around when I cheated, I just explain the truth--yes, the white bread and whatever is delicious and I enjoyed it at the time, but afterwards I got crazy sick (heart rate was through the roof the other night at a party) so I just have to avoid that stuff in the future. So sad, many regrets to miss out on everyone's hard work cooking, but gotta take care of my health. People are pretty cool when you phrase it like that, and it's not even a lie.

[eco2pia]

I retract my earlier tough plans... apparently what I do when a cute boy hands me a cupcake with a huge smile is eat the cupcake. With an equally huge smile. I don't even like cupcakes. Unfortunately I like cute boys.

[AKLulu]

I retract my earlier tough plans... apparently what I do when a cute boy hands me a cupcake with a huge smile is eat the cupcake. With an equally huge smile. I don't even like cupcakes. Unfortunately I like cute boys.

I have a weakness for those too - not to self, avoid cute boys with cupcakes.

[Avalon]

...to self, avoid cute boys with cupcakes.

But not the cute boys, just the cupcakes!

Personally, I've found that a "demonstration" isn't a bad thing. A lot of people don't believe that these things are bad for health, theirs or anyone else's, so if you can give them something to see they usually remember it. Where I live it's really difficult to not eat rice (Asia = RICERICERICERICEALLTHETIME!!!) so I've taken to saying that I'm allergic to grains, including wheat, rice, oats, etc. However, one of my coworkers REALLY didn't believe me, to the point of literally saying "You're lying" in the cafeteria to me in front of the principal.

So I gave her a demonstration. I ate about a cup of rice, similar to what she ate, and then spent the entire afternoon running back and forth to the bathroom, feeling ill and exhausted (falling asleep at my desk), and twitching madly, bouncing my legs and tapping my fingers and toes and hands and everything else. This is honestly what a carb overload does to me. She hasn't asked me to eat anything I don't want to after seeing that. Yes, it took me an afternoon of being rather ill to convince her, but now literally the entire office leaves me alone about it, it's wonderful.

So if it's not a life threatening allergy or a dietary choice, it might be worth it. Something to think about, at least. Good luck kicking "milkshake man" in the nutritional/social ass.

[Rooks]

Personally, I think it depends on the "pusher". For me, the biggest "pusher" I've had in my life is my own mother. She's your typical midwestern mom. Loves to cook amazingly delicious big meals with great desserts. She's famous for her move asking the question "Would you like some of this?" while at the same time just scooping it onto your plate before you can even answer the question. I jokingly harassed her for years about it. But recently, I've taken to actually having real conversations with her about how eating healthier, etc. can have profound effects and basically just giving her information I've acquired and it's surprisingly helped a lot!

For example, I'd never see my mom cook a sweet potato in my life until 3 weeks ago. I went home for my niece's baptism and lo-and-behold there was a full thing of sweet potatoes cooked in a fairly healthy manner (i.e. not glazed with 6 lbs of butter, etc.). I shared with her the movie "Hungry for Change" and she was blown away by some of the facts they give. So I think it's helping her to know what I'm learning and trying to do. And she's sees that I'm losing weight and feeling better.

So I think the answer to the OP's original question is "It depends." Are these "pushers" close to you? Do you care about them? If so, try and sit down and educate them. Maybe challenge them to eat like you for a week and see if they feel better. If they appreciate you, they'll respect your decisions.

If they aren't people who are close to you (i.e. just random acquaintances at work or school), then just politely say no, and walk away. I've been accused of being wierd, no fun, etc. simply because I choose not to take part in sugary snacks sometimes (still trying to give up everything), but you just need to stick to your guns and not let them bother you (I know easier said then done). If they keep pushing, I'd respond with the truth. "Look I appreciate the offer, but I'm really trying to choose my healthy lifestyle over that sugary snack. So again, thanks, but no thanks." Just be proud of yourself that your doing something great for yourself.

[joeyb]

My mother-in-law asked me, on Sunday, whether I would like the potatoes mashed or scalloped. I told her I didn't care because I wasn't going to have any. She knew that I was trying to eat healthy, but I think that was the last straw. She asked me, "So what are you eating?". I spent the next two hours helping her get ready for Easter dinner, but also explaining to her why grains and potatoes aren't really that great for you. I think I got the point across to her that it wasn't really a fad diet type of thing, but that there was actual science and reasoning behind it. That was the first time that someone actually questioned the way I was eating (other than my wife complaining that I am the "picky" one) and it went a lot better than I thought it would.