The Taking of Surname

[BadWolf]

And way late, let me just say what a wonderful thing it is that your husband did for you. The fact that there are neanderthals who look down at this kind of thing just makes it that much sweeter. Enjoy this incredibly special moment, the two of you obviously deserve it.

Thanks I didn't think I'd be emotional about it, but when he surprised me with that text message I started tearing up at work.

[Arashi]

Mrs Quickdraw took my last name and moved her own into her middle name. Not having my last name could potentially cause problems for a spouse dealing with the military bureaucracy, and I'm trying to stay in for 20-30 years.

Oh, I can imagine. Military bureaucracy seems to be much worst than civilian, no matter the country.

[katscratch]

Congrats BadWolf!!!

I love how different we all feel about our identities as linked to our names, it's fascinating hearing everyone's stories! I use my initials constantly in my job and I'd feel weirder about changing those than my actual name I have friends who took each other's last names, and their kiddos have both. In my area long and multiple last names are very common in school-aged kids.

I personally don't think it's necessary for my kids to have the same name as me, I think it's more important they have a name that fits THEM. That said, I love my last name and it represents a strong family and says a lot about my heritage. It's not just MY name but indicative of all my people before me. My family will always be part of my identity but if my imaginary future man had strong feelings about the letters attached to that, I'd definitely be open to changing it. If it sounded good with my first name, haha.

[Arashi]

Congrats BadWolf!!!

I love how different we all feel about our identities as linked to our names, it's fascinating hearing everyone's stories! I use my initials constantly in my job and I'd feel weirder about changing those than my actual name I have friends who took each other's last names, and their kiddos have both. In my area long and multiple last names are very common in school-aged kids.

I honestly don't know why some people seem to cringe at long names... I guess it must be a cultural thing. I'm so used to them, I don't even blink.

I personally don't think it's necessary for my kids to have the same name as me, I think it's more important they have a name that fits THEM. That said, I love my last name and it represents a strong family and says a lot about my heritage. It's not just MY name but indicative of all my people before me. My family will always be part of my identity but if my imaginary future man had strong feelings about the letters attached to that, I'd definitely be open to changing it. If it sounded good with my first name, haha.

This is a biggie too, sometimes the maiden names sounds so good with the first name, and with the married name is such a bad combination! And vice-versa, of course.

[AKLulu]

Maybe when I get married we'll just pick our own last name

[Book]

You know... I was thinking the same thing. Kids do complicate that, but there are lots of good solutions for that.

[Rivanariko]

Maybe when I get married we'll just pick our own last name

I know a couple that did that. They took letters from both of their last names and created a new name. They wanted to have the same name, but wanted it to be about their new life together, not her taking his name or adding his name to hers or vice versa or whatever. I think it's a really cool idea.

I was lucky that my initials didn't change, I agree that that probably would have been harder than my name changing.

[Philociraptor]

Well, my girlfriend has told me she would never change her name. It's not part of Vietnamese culture. Though, I think It'd be quite odd if her last name turned to a Mexican one, with her Viet first and middle names. I'm cool with it. Kids will have my last name. I think. If we decide to have kids, which we don't want to at the moment.

[saretta]

I live in Italy and my husband is Italian. Here women just keep their own name...and basta! That's it. I was born and will die with my same name. People refer to me, on an informal basis, as Signora Myhusband'slastname, but it has no legal value.

When my mom married my stepdad (I was 11) I refused to take his name, I guess I'm just pretty attached to my own name. :-)

[scotticus]

This is completely random, but I'm so excited right now and I have to share it with someone. Been married for almost two years and been meaning to get to the social security office, but it was hard without a car. Today my husband texted me a picture of a document from the Social Security office with my surname tacked onto the end of his full name. He walked there before he had work and got his name changed. Woo hoo! Jen is happy!

Could have been worse, it could have been 3 years, right?

Virtual jaffa cakes for all!

Congrats. My wife and I approaching the three year mark for this very thing. We should probably get on it...

[Shortkaik]

Interesting discussion here!

I know a lot of people who hyphenate their last names. But that's always concerned me - what happens when two people with hypenated last names get married?! And then their kids get married?! CHAOS!! So many names!!

Whenever I've been in any relationship (ladies, I can't be the only one who does this!) I always think of how my first name would sound with their last name. It it doesn't sound good, I wouldn't change it.

But a part of me really wants to be part of "the <name> family"... I want to share the same last name as my children, and I don't want to hyphenate because my last name is already pretty annoying to work with. I suppose I'll just figure it out when the time comes.

But, either way... Congrats BadWolf! That is really sweet.

[AprilMay]

Badwolf, that's awesome news.

I took my husband's last name because that's just sorta of tradition. Lucky for me the initials didn't change.....but adding my maiden name and his last name would not be a pleasant set of initials.

I have considered going back to my maiden name recently though because I am the only one who holds it in my generation of the family, and being a girl, it means I am the last one if I don't change it back. I really like my maiden name as it identifies me as part of a rather unique family and there aren't that many of us in North America.....hmmm, I will look into the paperwork for this, it sounds complicated.

[BadWolf]

Interesting discussion here!

I know a lot of people who hyphenate their last names. But that's always concerned me - what happens when two people with hypenated last names get married?! And then their kids get married?! CHAOS!! So many names!!

Whenever I've been in any relationship (ladies, I can't be the only one who does this!) I always think of how my first name would sound with their last name. It it doesn't sound good, I wouldn't change it.

But a part of me really wants to be part of "the <name> family"... I want to share the same last name as my children, and I don't want to hyphenate because my last name is already pretty annoying to work with. I suppose I'll just figure it out when the time comes.

But, either way... Congrats BadWolf! That is really sweet.

Thanks! Yea, I've wondered about how a couple both with hyphenated names would handle it, I guess there are several options. We'll either be giving them what Mike has, which is "HisLast-MyLast" (sorry if I wasn't clear he hyphenated, but is only really using my name) or the kids will get HisLast as a second middle and have MyLast as TheirLast. I've confused myself. Tea time.

@Scotticus: no time like the present! Haha, it seems so important and then tie passes and it's like remembering to take the trash out.