What men love about women

[BarefootViking]

Don't get me started on communication!  The fact that women and men communicate completely differently is probably the biggest headache in relationships.  I know it has caused me plenty of grief.

 

If I had a dollar for every time I got in a "discussion" with a girl over a singular event (ie. some specific event) and she went off arguing in generalities or the reverse of that, I would have a nice savings account by now.

 

 

He apparently (I THINK at least) needs to work on his communication skills- which I called his ass out on- but hopefully he learned a valuable lesson about the VAST difference between how men and women communicate.  

[Irish Oisin]

I think that men communicate better in person. I've always been very good in person, but I find it hard when there's distance involved. I much prefer to show how I feel rather than talk about how I feel over the phone.

[MariahSnow]

I think that men communicate better in person. I've always been very good in person, but I find it hard when there's distance involved. I much prefer to show how I feel rather than talk about how I feel over the phone.

 

I find this to be true in my relationship. My bf can talk my ear off, but he's not actually saying anything. It's not until we get face to face that we get to talking about real things. Note: he works shift work, so he's gone for 2 weeks and then back for 2 weeks. Also, I'll email him with this lengthy message about something that happened at work and he writes back, "that's cool." Grrrr! But it's just the way we are.

[I-Jo]

Don't get me started on communication!  The fact that women and men communicate completely differently is probably the biggest headache in relationships.  I know it has caused me plenty of grief.

 

If I had a dollar for every time I got in a "discussion" with a girl over a singular event (ie. some specific event) and she went off arguing in generalities or the reverse of that, I would have a nice savings account by now.

 

absolutely.  He said this... almost verbatim "It doesn't matter what you *thought* I meant- because this is what I said and that's exactly what I meant."  O_o

 

.... yeah.  I said- Okay and stopped talking.  For the next ten minutes he said what's wrong and I said nothing- and finally I said- well you know so what I THINK doesn't matter- I'm just going to keep my thoughts to myself. 

 

yeah- we had to hash some stuff out for sure.   I was REALLY pissed at that one.  Especially since I opened the conversation with "I have a confession to make- the other day when you said XXXX- what I really heard was YYYYY"  and he immediately launched into that's not what I said and que great sentence from above.

 

I was like- are you kidding me- THIS THIS RIGHT HERE is why people fight- because of mis-communication- here I am admitting to you I didn't HEAR what you said- I heard something else and it upset me and you just completely discounted it.  That's one of the biggest issues with relationships is communication and if we cant' talk about how we communicate what the fuck is the point of this!!!!

I think that men communicate better in person. I've always been very good in person, but I find it hard when there's distance involved. I much prefer to show how I feel rather than talk about how I feel over the phone.

definitely.

 

he's much better at that.... although because of our distance and our opposite schedules- we text quiet a bit... and one time he came down- it was like 3 in the morning- and I had stayed up looking for something- and he got made at me... famous last words "if it was that important to you- you wouldn't have lost it in the first place"

 

yeah- he wound up leaving literally 30 minutes after he got here (its' a 2 hr drive mind you)... and we proceeded to text while he was in the car outside- and I texted him twice then said- you get in here and we argue like adults or fucking leave and go home.  This shit is stupid- I'm not arguing with you through text when you are 50 feet away in a parked car outside my house. 

 

sigh- yes I love him- but god he can be a chore sometimes LOL

[Irish Oisin]

You were texting him while he was outside in the car? That's another issue I have nowadays, people don't communicate properly!! If he text you while outside in the car, walk out to him and be adult about it, put the phones away! Texting has no tone of voice, so it always leads to misunderstanding, texting should be reserved for quick messages, never communicating actual information

[I-Jo]

Yeah- that lasted all of two texts before I said- either come in side and argue like an adult or go the fuck home and we'll sort it out later- this is the fucking dumbest thing ever.

 

Yeah.  he came inside.

[Elder]

I definitely communicate better in person.  When I can see their facial expressions and their body language I can understand and translate what they are saying/feeling better than via phone conversation, e-mail or text.  So many times I misunderstand people or people misunderstand me because of misinterpreting typed font.  

 

I have a rule I picked up from my dad, everyone who calls or texts me just to chat has a 2 minute time limit, once they exceed this I tell them to come visit me or that we should meet in person so we can visit face to face.  This only works for local people though.  I also use this rule because I get distracted easily when I can't look at the person who is speaking.

[SnowWhite]

I love a woman's confidence. I love the way she looks when she stares at you, her back ramrod straight, regal, queenlike. Her gaze does not flinch, does not falter.

I love a woman's intellect. I love how women make different connections than men do, how they tend to see more parts of the whole than I do, and help me fill in the gaps in my own understanding.

I love a woman's heart, how she can love so completely, so unreservedly. And the trust of it - of being worthy of that trust. It's something worth striving for, I think.

Though, to give you guys some perspective, I'm a lifelong celibate, hopeless romantic, with absolutely no self-confidence. I'm not a man who's worth the trouble it would take to understand me, because she'd look past the facade I present and find a beggarly writer who can't take care of himself, let alone her. I have nothing to give her. There is nothing in me for her to latch her heart on to.

But I love a woman's patience. Sometimes I actually meet a woman who doesn't mind talking to me. If I can find one with whom the conversation comes easy... I dunno. Just gives me a little hope, I guess.

....this melted my heart a little. Maybe a lot. Don't lose hope, my dear.... you'll find your girl  Your heart is quite beautiful.

[RisenPhoenix]

Gotta say, I love a woman who's comfortable in her geekdom - especially if that geekdom encompasses (sci-fi/fantasy/anything but romance novel) books or video games.  And if she can geek out over things with me, so much the better.

 

Also, I guess I do have a thing for tough, can-kick-my-ass mentalities laced with sarcasm.  (I think my fictional crushes pretty much are epitomized by Zoe and Echo.  Okay, I guess I should also include Kaylee for the adorable factor even though she couldn't kick my ass.  But she could kick my car engine's ass.  So it count.)

[The Mouse]

I've gotta ask you guys something - 'cause it's been bugging me for weeks.

 

What do guys think of girls who genuinely listen to them, but are already attached and don't want to date them?

 

Context: 

I was at the gym, and I went to the (male) gym staffer to ask about the bar and see if he had an extra elastic band for my unruly hair. I started the conversation off with asking about the bar, which got him started into talking about lifting - I listened politely and with a smile, because, hey, I'm new and I need all the help I can get! And he asked why I was into lifting, I told him I was doing SS and we continued talking about it. I smiled the entire time, but I didn't think I came across as flirting with him - I was at the gym with my boyfriend, after all (who was fiddling with his water bottle away from the desk).

 

So after I'd found out how much the bar weighed, got an elastic band and had talked to the staffer about some weight lifting stuff for about five minutes, my boyfriend came over. I said hi to him, the staffer noticed him, said hi and I kinda pointed at my boyfriend and said I had to go and get back to my workout and "I'm, uh, he's...". And the staffer kinda went "oh!" and went back to work. It was then that I got the feeling that he might've thought I was flirting with him.

 

So I'm wondering - did I come off as hitting on him? I mean, I thought all I was doing was listening intently. I wasn't presenting him with anything, I don't think. Just smiling.

 

Is there a better way to listen genuinely without making it seem like you're hitting on a guy? I don't want to hurt 'em - you guys are really nice and I hate accidentally misleading!

[I-Jo]

smiling and treating people with common curtosy and being polite/cracking jokes and having a good time automatically equals now... flirt and I'm interested.

 

And while I believe flirting isn't inherently bad- it's hard to control what SOMEONE else thinks.  

 

I don't worry about it. I treat ALL people the same- and if relationships come up- I say something if not- it's nonya.   I don't make it a point to announce- nor did I make it a point to conceal.  I just do what I do and if it comes up it comes up.  don't sweat it. 

[SuperUnison]

I've gotta ask you guys something - 'cause it's been bugging me for weeks.

 

What do guys think of girls who genuinely listen to them, but are already attached and don't want to date them?

 

Depends on the guy! I think in your case above he was attracted to you, was talking to you a bit, and possibly misinterpreted it as flirting. Or maybe he just felt awkward as your boyfriend was there, and was worried that it looked like he was coming onto you. Either way, it was maybe a little embarrassing, nothing more! Sounds like neither of you did anything wrong, you were just talking about a common interest.

 

It'd be a different situation if a girl blatantly comes on to you and then isn't interested. Again, it happens, it's part of life, particular when you're a teenager and everyone is a mess of hormones and bad haircuts. But once you get older, you can spot these types a mile off and avoid them.

 

It works both ways as well, I've occasionally worried about the signals I send off, I'm naturally quite playful and enjoy making people laugh, can be interpreted as being flirtatious, and then you hear someone say 'have you heard x likes you'? And it's a bit like.. oh..

[The Mouse]

smiling and treating people with common curtosy and being polite/cracking jokes and having a good time automatically equals now... flirt and I'm interested.

 

And while I believe flirting isn't inherently bad- it's hard to control what SOMEONE else thinks.  

 

I don't worry about it. I treat ALL people the same- and if relationships come up- I say something if not- it's nonya.   I don't make it a point to announce- nor did I make it a point to conceal.  I just do what I do and if it comes up it comes up.  don't sweat it. 

Damn... It's sad that people can't get that just being normal...

 

That's a good way of thinking about it. I think he may have thought I was hitting on him, but realized I wasn't when I gestured to my boyfriend. He seemed to understand it pretty well and didn't seem too hurt by it, more like "oh, I see, now.". But he was so nice, and I really hope that he finds someone who's as interested in lifting as he is - he was really supportive of my doing SS, which I was really happy to hear from a young muscular male. I get the impression that most of them wouldn't like women lifting.

 

 

Depends on the guy! I think in your case above he was attracted to you, was talking to you a bit, and possibly misinterpreted it as flirting. Or maybe he just felt awkward as your boyfriend was there, and was worried that it looked like he was coming onto you. Either way, it was maybe a little embarrassing, nothing more! Sounds like neither of you did anything wrong, you were just talking about a common interest.

 

It'd be a different situation if a girl blatantly comes on to you and then isn't interested. Again, it happens, it's part of life, particular when you're a teenager and everyone is a mess of hormones and bad haircuts. But once you get older, you can spot these types a mile off and avoid them.

 

It works both ways as well, I've occasionally worried about the signals I send off, I'm naturally quite playful and enjoy making people laugh, can be interpreted as being flirtatious, and then you hear someone say 'have you heard x likes you'? And it's a bit like.. oh..

Oh, good. 

 

I've seen occasionally the girls come on to a guy just to crush him - and I hate that, because they always choose the nice guys and not the jackasses who deserve to have their hearts reeled in a bit. I'm so glad I'm not a teenager anymore - it's painful how immature we are when we're younger.

 

I'm glad it works both ways, then. I do tend to be really friendly and find it easy to be interested in others' passions, so I often feel like I might be coming off as flirtatious. I'm glad it's not just me, though. Okay, good. I can be friendly and polite without feeling like I might accidentally break someone's heart. *phew!*

[RisenPhoenix]

smiling and treating people with common curtosy and being polite/cracking jokes and having a good time automatically equals now... flirt and I'm interested.

 

This, a thousand percent.  I try to be polite to everyone I meet (at first.  I don't suffer fools well, and you have a few meeting periods before I pass my personal judgement).  In college a few times that friendliness got mistaken for flirtation, which lead to awkward things.  In one instance a girl couldn't understand why I wasn't moving in on her flirtations and then started to tell people I was gay, and that was the reason why I wasn't sleeping with her.  It totally had nothing to do with the fact that she had the most annoying personality and *shallow Phoenix * looked like a human version of Ms. Piggy (seriously.  Upturned nose, blond hair in a similar style, bit more than pudgy...) */shallow Phoenix*.

 

But, on the flip side of the coin, an engaging conversation with a girl is always something that can make me take note.  Whether or not that person is available doesn't usually enter my brain until the conversation has ended (or hit a lull to let my brain go into logic mode).  If something makes it clear mid-conversation that the girl is unavailable (like a boyfriend coming up), you do what the guy at the gym did.  Say "Oh" and try not to take any more time (also keep in mind that guys don't know how protective certain boyfriends can be, and getting punched in the fact hurts, I hear).  It happens.  Life goes on.

[The Mouse]

True enough about the punching. Thankfully, my boyfriend isn't the violent type ('cause that's just bad). I guess, yeah, it makes sense just to go "oh" and try not to take anymore time - it would be awkward and could be misinterpreted. So long as I didn't break his heart, all's good. 

 

Thanks, guys!

[CharlieBoston]

I've gotta ask you guys something - 'cause it's been bugging me for weeks.

 

What do guys think of girls who genuinely listen to them, but are already attached and don't want to date them?

 

Some guys just can't fathom a platonic interaction with a member of the gender they are most interested in (although I find that this is also true with women, albeit to a far lesser extent).

 

I was once friends with a guy who thought that the girl behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts was into him simply because she smiled at him, completely waving off the fact that she is in the service industry and smiles from your servers are pretty much expected. It happened EVERYwhere we went. And 100% of the time that he would go back to ask them out on his next trip and he'd get shot down.

[AlterStephen]

I think it's insanely attractive if a girl can play the piano.

[CharlieBoston]

Or any instrument, really. At least for me. Had myself a little crush on Paz Lenchantin for a while after I saw her in the video for A Perfect Circle's "Judith." When the music's broken down and it's just the guitar and she's putting her hair up in a ponytail just before she starts back up on her bass is one of the sexiest things I've seen in a video. Tawny Kitaen can writhe on the hood of abunch of cars all she wants. Paz, a ponytail and a bass guitar gets my attention much more.

[Cr33g]

Oh crap, uh...

 

I like girls who are passionate about something, who have a real drive and a real sense of purpose, basically a love for what they do, whether it's career, hobbies or/and interests, etc. I've never really been fond of girls who just, I dunno... just work, then spend their money on drinking and partying.

 

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I really like intelligence in girls. I'm either impressed by it or envious. Maybe both? I like a girl who's quick and witty too, especially with humour.

 

That being said about wit, I love a girl who laughs easily, friendly and laid back, but gets serious when they need to be, when it's necessary.

 

I'm a giant nerd, so I love a girl who is also a giant nerd. Plays video games? Awesome. Busts out completely irrelevant pop culture references? Awesome.

 

I'm physically active, so I like to see a girl who is also physically active, or at least trying to be. They don't need to be super hot or super fit, but as long as they're doing something physically active on a regular basis and just looking after themselves - their health and their wellbeing. Playing a sport, going to the gym, just exercising in general.

 

I can't resist a girl wearing glasses. Also a fan of brunettes, brown or black hair, especially at shoulder length or longer. What is wrong with me?

 

I like tall girls too... but uh, not too tall. I'm 6'3 so, anything shorter than that.

 

With all these points being put here, it makes me realise this is exactly why I have never had a girlfriend. Because I must be too God damn picky. FML.