What do you REALLY want out of life?

[Daffy]

What do you REALLY want out of life?

If you have unlimited time, money, etc. What do you see yourself doing?

Do you want to drive a Tesla Roadster every day?

Do you want to live in a huge mansion?

Do you want to travel the world?

To go along with this, do you think a life of extreme convenience can be mentally damaging? For example, imaging never having to clean up after yourself anymore. Imagine you have multiple maids to clean up after you. You never have to cook or clean or any mundane tasks like that. Sounds great, right?

But would this eventually take a toll on you... make you mentally weaker... more dependant... less happy... less capable of taking care of yourself? Even if you are able to remain genuinely grateful for these things, is it really worth it? I've been wondering lately if washing my dishes builds character in its own small way.

When I think about what I REALLY want, what I think would be My Ideal Lifeâ„¢, I think these are the top three in no particular order:

1. A healthy body, mind, and emotions. I want to live a very long life, free of injuries and disease, especially mental disease (dementia). To go along with this, I'd highly prefer to die peacefully in my sleep, but I guess that's true for everyone.

2. Many great relationships with people. Family, friends. And my best friend, who is also a loving and faithful wife, who I can fall in love with more and more each day. I know, marriage isn't for everyone and I'm a bit sappy, but it works for me.

3. Meaningful work that helps people. All work helps people, even very tedious or simple jobs like truck driving. But what I mean is work where I can see myself making a real difference in people's lives. This is why I love being involved with MyBodyTutor. I'm in charge of everything technical, and currently developing the 2.0 version of the application.

And I think my work would be a big focus for me, no matter how much money I have. If I won the lottery, I'm sure I'd take some time off and travel a lot, but it wouldn't take a long time until I'd naturally start looking for ways to contribute to society again. When I look at Khan Academy and see what has become of it, all because one guy decided one day to start making YouTube tutor videos, I'm like wow... that's awesome.

These three are the most important things, responsible for probably at least 98.2% of my happiness. And fortunately I don't need much money to have these things. I think the best thing money can buy is freedom of choice. Circumstances can differ but with more money, hopefully that means you can have more freedom to spend your time doing exactly whatever it is you want to do. With that said, I know sometimes that more money = more time responsibilities = less freedom. But we're talking about ideals here!

As for the other estimated 1.8% of my happiness? Well, I really do like that Roadster... maybe I can just settle for a more modest Lotus Elise.

[Red1263]

1. To be the Man that everyone depends on and trusts. I'm seeing this manifest through becoming a Doctor.

2. To travel the world seeing all of the things I want to see.

3. To be in enough shape to take on Mt. Midoriyama! and Achieve Total Victory!!! \o/

[Silentplanet]

1. Explore the world from head to toe visiting all the natural and man made wonders and spend time contemplating and exploring the places I cannot reach. Space and the deepest points of the ocean.

2. I think for me a major part is meeting a special someone who would share my interests and passions as well as surrounding myself with people that I love.

3. Develop a strong understanding of the real important issues in the world and spend my life devoting myself to making change. Whether it be in science, economics or even education I'd like to help make a difference.

[AKLulu]

What we REALLY want? To be honest, I'd love nothing better than to be a wife and mother. Maybe have a small farm somewhere... or at least live in a place that I can get plenty of fish and game. I want a simple life. Easy to say when I'm sitting at a computer, huh?

[Thrillho]

"Mindless convenience" is one thing, but I would like a life of not worrying. I'm happy doing tons of stuff myself, but I've been living for almost ten years with the mindset of "one paycheck away from oblivion, one screw-up away from unemployment" and I know it's my job as "the man", the father, the husband, the provider (it may be a gender stereotype, but I am all those things) to tough it out and do what needs to be done, but it's gotten to the point that I am virtually unable to enjoy anything in life because all I can think about is how much it's costing us, how that money could be better used to pay off the mortgage, how I could be spending my time cleaning the endless mess in my house... all I do is worry. And work. And cook. And clean. Despite the stress involved, the only part of my day that is really, truly happy is the 20 minutes each night when I brush my girls' teeth, read them stories and tuck them into bed at night because for those 20 minutes, there is no possible better use of my time.

So I think:

a.) I want to be at a point where I don't worry. This doesn't mean wealth, this only means, for me, debt-free and perhaps not having to worry about a paycheck for a little while. I just want to be able to wake up in the morning and think about nothing other than how I can make my family and myself happy.

b.) I want to be a published author.

c.) I want to fight, and win, a sanctioned MMA fight.

The last one might seem frivolous and selfish, but hey, it's my life.

[herpius_derpius7]

Honestly I just have one thing right now, but it's pretty all-encompassing.

1. To experience everything that I can

well, that and have a rockin' bod. So maybe that's two things.

/haha maybe I'll expand later when I have moar tiem

[ETFnerd]

1. i've traveled a lot... been to a lot of places. at this point, external experiences don't interest me as much as internal journeys... exploring myself at a deep level... my relationships with loved ones... exploring what they are going through and what role i play in that... those of people within my professional life... etc..

2. i'm at an impasse in my professional life where i have to decide whether i want to step into a larger leadership role... there is risk and RESPONSIBILITY in this... it's scary but inevitably i have to choose growth over stagnation... i am good at what i do and reinventing myself and leaving the practice of what i'm good at periodically for something completely new is mentally demanding... also missteps carry consequences to more than just me, so no more bullsh!t...

3. the most happy i have been has been when seeing staff i've coached achieve their potential and great success... it is like i am able to live on in the hearts and minds of others... that's the footprint i'd like to leave in my life... in whatever scale i am able to achieve this...

[Artinum]

This is a question I have never been able to answer. What do I want out of life? Mostly I know what I don't want - stress, misery, boredom. I don't have any strong dreams. I don't have a burning desire to do anything. I've written a novel and I'll soon be looking to get it published; I'm not sure I have a second novel in me at the moment. I could explore my interests in writing music or get back into programming if I had the time and money, but probably not both at once. I have never had any career aspirations. I want to start a business, but I struggle to think of what it would do. I want to become rich, but purely because wealth means security. I like the idea of being able to go anywhere or do anything without being held back by a lack of money.

Am I dead inside? Are these dreams people have to do this, see that or achieve the other something that should have been programmed into me when I was little? Or is this complete lack of direction fairly commonplace? The only things that seems to get me excited are new experiences. I enjoy learning new things, doing new things, trying new foods, going to new places.

[ETFnerd]

sometimes it takes a while to find yourself and what you want in life... everybody comes into this at different times... it's kinda like picking a college major... some people come in knowing what they want to do... but most go through a process to find what matters to each of us... you'll come into your own when it's time... don't rush it and make a decision to go down a road you'll loathe...

like all other things that are important in life... it is important to apply yourself thoughtfully in this exercise... you get out of life what you put in... more or less... in the long run...

[knifeboots]

As others have said, it'd be nice to not have to worry about money, to be debt free, to be able to buy stuff that I want but still be able to pay off the credit card(s) each month. I'm a working mom and the primary breadwinner in my family; I just happen to be lucky enough to have a non-managerial job that pays very well. But we also live in a high cost-of-living area, so everything here is more expensive. We do alright, but I wish I could pay down our accumulated debt faster. I also wish I had more time. If I made enough for my husband to stay home, I'd be able to put in my 40 a week and still have lots of time with the family. But with both of us working, and with him being on call a week at a time once a month, I invariably lose time at work with unexpected kid pickups, doctor appointments, school events, etc. There's just never enough time.

I don't want to be rich. I don't want to have people doing stuff for me. I actually would like to simplify my life, clear out clutter, etc. I guess what I really want out of life is more time (with my family, for myself, etc), more space (in my house), and enough money to cover bills, pay off debts, and sock away a few months' worth of expenses just in case.

[nickls]

Or is this complete lack of direction fairly commonplace? The only things that seems to get me excited are new experiences. I enjoy learning new things, doing new things, trying new foods, going to new places.

I am right there with you Artinum. I was one of those kids who never had an answer for "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

I have been struggling with this a lot over the past ten years or so, and I know I have spent more time doing what I thought was expected of me and listening to my parents than really going after what I want. I like new experiences as well, and one of the things holding me back was wondering if there was really anything I would enjoy doing every day for an extended period.

If you are like me, you will have certain things that you might have thought about doing at one point, but may have dismissed as unrealistic. The important, but also really tough, thing to do is start doing something that takes you on a path towards what you want. Since you said you wanted to start a business, do something, anything that is a first step. Try selling some stuff on eBay, make crafts or furniture to sell, offer free consulting to someone, go to an entrepreneur's club meeting, whatever it is to get you started and see if this is something you are interested in.

Also, you might want to check out this book: I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was

[ryanmercer]

Just to be happy for a change.

[leadchipmunk]

What I REALLY want is pretty simple, in theory at least. I want to have a wife and one or two kids. Live in a moderate home, nothing too big but not an apartment, in a small town or out in the country (I'm definitely not a city boy); and a decent income, enough to not have to rely on credit cards or payday advance loans to get by. I ask life for nothing more than to be content with that.

Maybe I'm too young to be thinking like that, at 22 most people are more into experiencing everything they can than settling down, but I believe that the experiences aren't worth a thing if you don't have anybody to share them with. I'd rather have the simple joys of coming home to a loving wife or scaring the fecal matter out of my daughter's new boyfriend when he picks her up for the first time.

[Artinum]

I am right there with you Artinum. I was one of those kids who never had an answer for "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Mine was "older".

I think the problem is that I came down with a bad case of philosophy when I was a teenager and started asking awkward questions like "what is the meaning of life?" After a while, the only answer was clear: "there isn't one". Life is fundamentally meaningless. I currently treat my chronic nihilism with a course of mild insanity - that is, I pretend life isn't meaningless and throw myself into numerous projects to keep busy. I back up this with a course of optimism (three times a day, after food) and I usually get through life happy and smiling, or at least appearing to be happy and smiling. I'm not sure what the difference is any more.

If you are like me, you will have certain things that you might have thought about doing at one point, but may have dismissed as unrealistic.

A number of them, yes. The catch is that I've learned they aren't all that unrealistic - they'll just take a long time and a lot of effort. And there's the rub - there's no point in me doing something unless I want to do it, and I'm not convinced I want to do any of them. I tend to find the getting there more interesting than the achievement. The last part of any project is always the hardest part for me, because I can see finally how I'll do it and the challenge is no longer there.

Also, you might want to check out this book: I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was

Interesting! I've added that one to my wish list and think I'll order one after I've been paid.

[Atalan]

sometimes it takes a while to find yourself and what you want in life... everybody comes into this at different times... it's kinda like picking a college major... some people come in knowing what they want to do... but most go through a process to find what matters to each of us... you'll come into your own when it's time... don't rush it and make a decision to go down a road you'll loathe...

like all other things that are important in life... it is important to apply yourself thoughtfully in this exercise... you get out of life what you put in... more or less... in the long run...

And sometimes we listen too strongly to what others tell us we should want.

I recently revisited a memory from elementary school that I had buried for some reason (probably because I didn't have good experiences with people in elementary school) where I kept batting statistics for my t-ball team. Funnily enough, 15 years later I finally got to, "I want to work in the front office of a sports organization."

I spent the intervening years being told I should do computer science because I'm good with computers and math. Or I should be an accountant because I have an analytical mind and I'm good with math. At one point I was told I should consider trying to become an interpreter because I did well in French and German in high school and college and interpreters can make a lot of money. I tried them all and burned myself out in all of them.

Two years of factory work and soul-searching after dropping out of college later, I realized what I really wanted to do was work in sports. Now it's three years later and I have an internship with an NCAA Division 1 University's athletic department in their Sports Information department lined-up and ready to start in two weeks. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about the future.

To answer the original question:

I want to be Director of Sports Information for a winter sports league. I want to spend a week every June in Pennsylvania camping with my friends. I want to have a loving wife who is geeky enough to join my silly medieval interests. I want two or four kids (a middle child of three, it's a bad number). I want to live no more than a 20 minute drive from good hiking trails.

[Barbarossa]

Fitness:

1.) Maintain 6-8%BF.

2.) Be able to do a long-course Ironman on demand.

3.) Be able to do 1 arm KB snatches with a 68kg kettle bell

Economics:

1.) No debt of any kind.

2.) Successful (read: pays the bills +100%) PT business.

3.) Have enough savings to pick up and travel whenever I choose to.

Education:

1.) ACSM RCEP Certification

2.) RKC Certification

3.) PhD in Integrative Physiology from CU Boulder.

Working on all of them in one form or another, and they all relate to each other in one way or another. Life I want, here I come.

[oystergirl]

At the end of the day I believe that we are born naked and leave the same way and in between every single thing we do, either conscious or unconscious we do in order to find happiness.

What do I want out of life? JOY...plain and simple. Joy in all its incarnations. i want internal joy and external joy and joy wrapped up in the trappings of a suprise and joy disguised as adventure and joy all warm and toasty with love. That simple feeling of observing my life and feeling every single chakra in my body align as one as my heart pours open with joy....

THAT.

p.s I gots it for the most part and will continue to pursue it in this and many other life times.

[herpius_derpius7]

This is a question I have never been able to answer. What do I want out of life? Mostly I know what I don't want - stress, misery, boredom. I don't have any strong dreams. I don't have a burning desire to do anything. I've written a novel and I'll soon be looking to get it published; I'm not sure I have a second novel in me at the moment. I could explore my interests in writing music or get back into programming if I had the time and money, but probably not both at once. I have never had any career aspirations. I want to start a business, but I struggle to think of what it would do. I want to become rich, but purely because wealth means security. I like the idea of being able to go anywhere or do anything without being held back by a lack of money.

Am I dead inside? Are these dreams people have to do this, see that or achieve the other something that should have been programmed into me when I was little? Or is this complete lack of direction fairly commonplace? The only things that seems to get me excited are new experiences. I enjoy learning new things, doing new things, trying new foods, going to new places.

Honestly this is a great way to elaborate upon what I was trying to articulate earlier. I'm in college right now but I don't have any particular direction. I haven't chosen a major yet despite being a sophomore. I have plenty of interests but I can't foresee pursuing any of my hobbies as a career. However, I do know that I am hungry for experiences. I want to see things, feel things. I think that every time I have a new experience I am enriched; it's like I become more than I was previously. However, it never alters the fact that I don't have any one goal in my life besides what I have just stated -- to have these experiences, to exist, to live

I think the problem is that I came down with a bad case of philosophy when I was a teenager and started asking awkward questions like "what is the meaning of life?" After a while, the only answer was clear: "there isn't one". Life is fundamentally meaningless. I currently treat my chronic nihilism with a course of mild insanity - that is, I pretend life isn't meaningless and throw myself into numerous projects to keep busy. I back up this with a course of optimism (three times a day, after food) and I usually get through life happy and smiling, or at least appearing to be happy and smiling. I'm not sure what the difference is any more.

My friends and I talk about this sometimes. They like to ask philosophical questions, and one of them was, "What is your life purpose? Do we even have a purpose?" Some of us have reached a rather existential conclusion that there isn't any objective purpose. There is no intrinsic reason that we exist. We do, and that's that. However, we can give ourselves purposes, I guess. I just haven't really found anything -- other than existing and experiencing, I guess -- that I can devote myself to. Like I said, I like to do lots of things, but none of them are either reasons that I exist or reasons that I have given myself to exist/reasons for existing. And I'm like you in another way, too: I like to keep busy. I like to have things to do that are productive. Sometimes I almost need to be busy doing something, and usually it's something that develops me/helps me to mature or move forward.

if that makes sense, lol

[Barbarossa]

As an aside, I think that the sheer purposelessness of life is a thing of beauty. Purposelessness is true freedom. It lets you do anything.

[Rosie]

hmm I want to be working somewhere that I love although this might take a while to figure out. Heres some jobs I've thought of that I would love to do:

Teacher

Police woman

Fitness instructer

Zumba teacher

Rock climbing instrucer

Own my own vintage shop

Own my own sports shop

Run my own gym

Work in a bit company with lots of ruum for growth

travel writer

the list doesnt even stop there but those are the ones I could think of off the top of my head! Really I dont mind what I'm doing as long as it is something I enjoy and can look forward to every day. I guess its going to take a bit of trial and error before I find something that makes me feel like that!

Travel wise of course I want to visit lots of places but I dont necessarily neeed to jet off to far flung places of the earth for that - there are plenty of places right on my home soil where I can experience new things. Just locally some places I want to visit are Dublin, Edinborough, Oxford (I was there for a day but didnt get to explore the town properly) Newquay, i want to go camping on the coast, I want to visit some amazing old catherdrals and churchs (religious archetecture is something that amazes me despite being an athiest and churchs are my favourite places to visit even though I'm not religeous) and all this I can do without even getting my passport out. There are of course other countries I intend to visit at least once - Thailand, Rome (I want a few years ago but I'm dying to go back!) Parts of america, Italy, the south coast of Australia, really I could go on and on about places I want to go.

I also want to keep learning new things at any opportunity. I want to learn a new language, I'd like to gain an A Level in a subject I regret not taking at school (possibly classical civilisation or religeous education) and then just keep seeing where further education can take me. I want to learn new sports, new skills, start being artistic again. ETC!!

tldr: I dont know what I want but I want to keep seeing and doing as many new things as possible!

[Korosia]

I think the problem is that I came down with a bad case of philosophy when I was a teenager and started asking awkward questions like "what is the meaning of life?" After a while, the only answer was clear: "there isn't one". Life is fundamentally meaningless. I currently treat my chronic nihilism with a course of mild insanity - that is, I pretend life isn't meaningless and throw myself into numerous projects to keep busy. I back up this with a course of optimism (three times a day, after food) and I usually get through life happy and smiling, or at least appearing to be happy and smiling. I'm not sure what the difference is any more.

My friends and I talk about this sometimes. They like to ask philosophical questions, and one of them was, "What is your life purpose? Do we even have a purpose?" Some of us have reached a rather existential conclusion that there isn't any objective purpose. There is no intrinsic reason that we exist. We do, and that's that. However, we can give ourselves purposes, I guess. I just haven't really found anything -- other than existing and experiencing, I guess -- that I can devote myself to. Like I said, I like to do lots of things, but none of them are either reasons that I exist or reasons that I have given myself to exist/reasons for existing. And I'm like you in another way, too: I like to keep busy. I like to have things to do that are productive. Sometimes I almost need to be busy doing something, and usually it's something that develops me/helps me to mature or move forward.

I've spent most of my life doing this; I would be pacing round my room thinking "what the point? Do I just grow up, have kids and then die, only for them to grow up, have kids and die? Surely there must be something else, something I'm missing", but as you said, it was fairly clear that there wasn't a point. More recently, it would also be about the state of the world; how most of society is overweight, how the education system is collapsing, how governments seem corrupt, how screwed the economy is. It would often affect my relationships with friends. Usually I was a fun, humourous (if overly sarcastic) guy, but sometimes I would get into one of these thoughts and just zone out. Everyone would be talking and laughing, and I would just be sitting there staring into space, trying to figure the world out. I just kept saying "when I get to Uni, then I'll know. I find my purpose at Uni. I just need to struggle through these last few months and then it will all be fine."

Of course, I got to Uni and it didn't all get better. I met a fantasic group of friends and they really helped things, but when I was alone I would still think about it all, but this time it was even worse as I was putting so much effort into working, but had no idea what any of it was for. I was really beginning to struggle with it. Like you guys, I really longed for something I could devote myself to, rather than just lots of small things. When I was doing a concert, or laughing with friends, life would feel good, but then I'd go back to my room and start thinking again. "Surely I can't just go through my life doing small things that make me happy for a short time. I want something bigger. Hell, I *need* something bigger".

I've mentioned in a few places since joining the community that I recently became a Christian. I really didn't want to keep bringing it up; having been an Athiest for 18 years I know how annoying that is and I wanted to avoid making enemies in my first week on here But it really has helped me *so* much, so I figured it might not hurt to bring it up one more time. I'd also like to stress that this is *not* an effort to convert anyone, its just a really important and relevant part of my life, and I would like to help give people the choice I got.

I know that finding your life purpose after becoming a Christian is a bit of a cliche, but it really did happen. The theories and beliefs behind it do explain why we're here, what life is for, what our purpose is. And they're not logical fallacies or based of tissue-thin evidence like most people (and I did too) think. Being a scientist, I was even more sceptical of it all, and spent a lot of time attacking one of my friends over it. But every single one of my questions had a detailed and sensible answer. When you hear the full story, so to speak, it actually makes complete sense. Since becoming Christian, I've realised that it doesn't matter that I don't have anything to work towards right now, because I can spend time working on myself - fix my diet, get fitter, more productive. To use an RPG analogy, I don't have any main quests at the minute, but that's a great thing! As AtomicSpud just said "Purposelessness is true freedom. It lets you do anything", and that's very true to my life at the minute - I can spend time exploring the different zones, levelling up my skinning ability, building the money to buy that epic sword I've always wanted. Because I know that when my epic quest does come, I'll be ready.

Again, that wasn't an effort to convert anybody, and I'll try to keep quiet about it from now on. But that said, if anyone does have questions, feel free to drop me a message

[mrRed]

Be a good father and husband, be a successful businessman and stay in good shape while I get older. Practice humility, compassion and empathy without sacrificing decisiveness and drive.

[Rooks]

Be a Christian that Jesus would be proud of. That's about it. Everything else should come out of that.

[leadchipmunk]

I know that finding your life purpose after becoming a Christian is a bit of a cliche, but it really did happen. The theories and beliefs behind it do explain why we're here, what life is for, what our purpose is. And they're not logical fallacies or based of tissue-thin evidence like most people (and I did too) think. Being a scientist, I was even more sceptical of it all, and spent a lot of time attacking one of my friends over it. But every single one of my questions had a detailed and sensible answer. When you hear the full story, so to speak, it actually makes complete sense. Since becoming Christian, I've realised that it doesn't matter that I don't have anything to work towards right now, because I can spend time working on myself - fix my diet, get fitter, more productive.

My experience was the complete opposite. I was raised Christian for somewhere around 18 years, and with the way I was preached God has a will for everyone and each person will follow His plan for them. That gave me less hope for a future because it was always preached to me that pretty much I don't have free will and every action that I do is pre-planned by an ineffable, benevolent Creator. I started studying other religions and trains of thought and eventually became... Well, I don't know what I am. I guess Agnostic would be the closest thing, but that still doesn't sound right enough.

It is hard to put my beliefs down, but basically I see all religions as the right religion in the way that they promote "good" and try to lead people away from what they see as "bad". However they decide to do it, it doesn't really matter (as long as it doesn't involve some heinous crime against humanity). If they believe in a God, multiple gods or karma, and so on, and it helps make it work, then I'm fine with that.

So, while I don't see there being any personal reason for doing good (i.e. after life, reincarnation, etc.), I am a firm believer of doing good for the sake of making people's lives better. I found that through my understanding (or supposed understanding) of multiple belief systems has led me to choose a life that leads to what I see as a universal viewpoint of good. I guess humanism is a good term for it, but more in the "life stance" version than the secular or religious forms of Humanism.

As he said:

[This] wasn't an effort to convert anybody, and I'll try to keep quiet about it from now on. But that said, if anyone does have questions, feel free to drop me a message

And I will add: Whatever you are, decide to do, or anything else, so be it. I am not here to judge. If you want help or just feel like talking, I'm always available and can give information on any topic that I know anything about. And I believe that Korosia means the same thing.

[The Tin Man]

...There was just an exchange of (essentially):

"I became a Christian and it gives me meaning and I enjoy it but if you're not it's okay and I don't want to be pushy but let me know if you want to discuss"

followed by

"I used to be Christian and it made me feel hopeless and am now agnostic but do what makes you happy. Let me know if you want to talk"

On the internet.

I love this community.