[Salinger]

Morning all. 5.30am. In the last 45 mins I have had a shower, cleaned the kitchen and had a nice cup of tea. 

 

I woke at 4am, i think i was having a bad dream. I woke and was clammy  so i had a nice hot shower. 

 

I will do some work till mid morning, then nap if needed. 

 

Prefer to be flexible like this instead of lying in bed wide awake cos some man told me its bed time, thousands of years ago HAHAHA

 

FRIDAY 13th!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Me and Roxy are going to watch two horror films tonight wooooooooo

 

 

 

Couple of things to get some opinion on. 

 

In therapy last week, my therapy advised i begin to journal. Nothing too extreme or pressure filled but end of the day, some notes about the day, how i feel. Last two days i have done that, and i like it i think. 

 

second thing is, i found a woman who does weight training / strength training. She is a body positive trainer, she explicitly advertises as someone where weight loss isnt discussed, instead, positive and about what your current body CAN DO. 

 

She does solo 1 2 1 sessions, and also does group. One of the groups she does is neurodiverse people!! 

 

Ive always wanted to try it properly and see how i feel. I am thinking of taking the plunge. 

 

 

Lastly. My fitness is so bad. The second im on a walk and the incline goes up a bit, im gasping for breath. Im scared my lungs are damaged  

 

In May 2025, I am supposed to be doing a long ish walk with my mum and sister, to a place my dad loved. 

 

I am worried about being able to do it and not feeling like im going to collapse. (mum and Emily are very fit)

 

I walk Bronze of course but fitness just doesnt seem to get any better. Any ideas/advice?

 

xx

 

 

 

[Sovalis]

Hi Sal!

 

As someone who is just dipping their toes back into weightlifting, I am going to encourage you to try the trainer's offerings and see what you think! I happen to love it so much. I *never* felt like I could be an athlete of any kind until Dave got me into weight lifting. There is something so immediate and satisfying about it for me: pick it up, put it down, win. Do it again. Win. Do it again, Win. The feedback loop is just so incredible. I find it helps with my breathing and stamina, too, so if the walk is something you want to work towards, this might be a good step. And the idea that the trainer can accomodate neurodivergence is really exciting!

 

I hope you have a great time watching your films tonight. Love you!

[TiogaGirl]

^^^ this!! Lifting stuff is awesome physically AND mentally.  I’m also a big fan of using a coach/ personal trainer/ small supportive class setting so someone who knows what they’re doing can check your form and correct any issues. I also dig the body positive and neuroinclusive energy the trainer seems to be giving.

 

for walking, I know people are always touting dog walks as a way to get in cardio shape, but these people must have dogs with better leash manners than mine ? my dogs LOVE their walks but are always stopping to pee or say hello to another dog friend or checking out some interesting new smell so it’s not really a fitness opportunity for the person walking them!

 

My suggestion would be to give bronze the walk and play she needs then do your thing separately (drop her back at the house and then do your fitness walk). If you wanted to be systematic about it with planned progression you could do a 12 week c25k program, then maybe build up to a 5to10k program, just replacing the ‘run’ portions of that with ‘walk briskly’. Then for ‘walk’ portions you just slow down your brisk walk to a more gentle speed, whatever you need to catch your breath. 

 

Hope your horror movies were horrifying enough to be exciting but not so scary that you were too afraid to leave the room to go to bed after and had to spend the night on the couch! (Yeah that has happened to me)

[Salinger]

On 9/14/2024 at 1:11 AM, Sovalis said:

Hi Sal!

 

As someone who is just dipping their toes back into weightlifting, I am going to encourage you to try the trainer's offerings and see what you think! I happen to love it so much. I *never* felt like I could be an athlete of any kind until Dave got me into weight lifting. There is something so immediate and satisfying about it for me: pick it up, put it down, win. Do it again. Win. Do it again, Win. The feedback loop is just so incredible. I find it helps with my breathing and stamina, too, so if the walk is something you want to work towards, this might be a good step. And the idea that the trainer can accomodate neurodivergence is really exciting!

 

I hope you have a great time watching your films tonight. Love you!

 

Hey Sov thank you!

 

I'm scared but also excited that it may be the thing I need.

 

Being strong would be really cool.

 

Sometimes going up hills or a rock on a walk, my legs are so weak I almost fall.

 

Love you too!!! Xx

 

On 9/14/2024 at 12:07 PM, TiogaGirl said:

^^^ this!! Lifting stuff is awesome physically AND mentally.  I’m also a big fan of using a coach/ personal trainer/ small supportive class setting so someone who knows what they’re doing can check your form and correct any issues. I also dig the body positive and neuroinclusive energy the trainer seems to be giving.

 

for walking, I know people are always touting dog walks as a way to get in cardio shape, but these people must have dogs with better leash manners than mine ? my dogs LOVE their walks but are always stopping to pee or say hello to another dog friend or checking out some interesting new smell so it’s not really a fitness opportunity for the person walking them!

 

My suggestion would be to give bronze the walk and play she needs then do your thing separately (drop her back at the house and then do your fitness walk). If you wanted to be systematic about it with planned progression you could do a 12 week c25k program, then maybe build up to a 5to10k program, just replacing the ‘run’ portions of that with ‘walk briskly’. Then for ‘walk’ portions you just slow down your brisk walk to a more gentle speed, whatever you need to catch your breath. 

 

Hope your horror movies were horrifying enough to be exciting but not so scary that you were too afraid to leave the room to go to bed after and had to spend the night on the couch! (Yeah that has happened to me)

 

Thanks TG!! Yes it sounds really good doesn't it!

 

Well.... most of my walks with Bronze recently have been off lead!!!! She's honestly become a dream on walks and yes she races off to explore but she also is constantly looking back at me and running back to check I'm going the right way haha

 

It's been crazy and scary but also a joy!!

 

I get a feel if I'm in a new place and only let her off if I get a good vibe

 

So far though it's been brilliant.

 

I just need to do more hilly walks?! Maybe?

 

But my breathe is so bad. It's like I'm horrendously asthmatic.

 

Hahahha well I like being scared by horror films.

 

We watched The Ring and Saint Maud.

 

Both great. Seen the ring years ago.

 

Xx

[Salinger]

Hey all 11.30pm Sunday.

 

Been a nice weekend.

 

Did some cleaning and laundry. And sorting bits.

 

Haven't done any work which is bad. But I needed a little break.

 

Saturday watched the football. Relaxed. Had a day bath.

 

Roxy went out drinking with her mum and got very drunk haha

 

I picked them both up and it was funny.

 

Roxy was very sick all night and I honestly felt grateful for sobriety!!!!!!

 

I woke this morn and had a lie in.

 

No hangover haha

 

Made breakfast flapjacks !!

 

Relaxed more and had another day bath. Luxury.

 

Football. Films. Many cups of tea.

 

Beans on toast for dinner!!!!! Joy.

 

Tomorrow is busy.

 

The whole week is busy.

 

I have my first weightlifting into session on Thursday...... terrified.

 

Also I've just put two pots of overnight oats in the fridge. Never had it before but hope we like it as would be a great option in the morning.

 

Xx

[TiogaGirl]

13 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Well.... most of my walks with Bronze recently have been off lead!!!! She's honestly become a dream on walks and yes she races off to explore but she also is constantly looking back at me and running back to check I'm going the right way haha

 

? so envious of Bronze being well behaved enough to let off lead!! Haha my maniacs would get us all into trouble if I tried that, well and I mostly walk them around the neighbourhood where there are some busy roads. I retract what I said about dog walking not being good for building fitness in that case!

 

And you’re braver than I am about scary movies ? 

[Salinger]

58 minutes ago, TiogaGirl said:

 

? so envious of Bronze being well behaved enough to let off lead!! Haha my maniacs would get us all into trouble if I tried that, well and I mostly walk them around the neighbourhood where there are some busy roads. I retract what I said about dog walking not being good for building fitness in that case!

 

And you’re braver than I am about scary movies ? 

 

I wouldn't let her off by roads. I'm lucky as we have so much open green space round here.

 

Will post some photos of recent walks later on

 

She's absolutely crazy but going out with her gang of dogs twice a week has been a life change for her and for me!!!!!

 

Haha I love them! Xx

 

 

[Salinger]

Morning all. 8.45am. Was up at 7am. I already would love to go back to bed hahahahah

 

My overnight oats..... omg. 

 

SO TASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe how good it was. 

 

This morning i was up, and chopped some fruit up for me and Roxy to add to our oats. it was nice to be mindful of what i was doing, chopping slow and small, and not rushing. 

 

 

 

 

I am feeling a tiny bit overwlemed with work stuff. But i think i just need to Get a LIST on the go. 

 

So many things to sort including hair cut appointment and figuring out what to have done! x

[Sovalis]

What a gorgeous looking breakfast!

 

Hope you have fun with a hair cut, I always love those!

[Salinger]

18 hours ago, Sovalis said:

What a gorgeous looking breakfast!

 

Hope you have fun with a hair cut, I always love those!

 

It was so good. Same again today!! with peach added also. xx

[Salinger]

Morning all. Tuesday, midday. 

 

I am feeling quite strange. Restless, headache, anxious. 

 

I have a lot on, different projects. 

 

- Website to build

- Three funding applications to read and offer feedback for three clients

- Editing some videos for a mental health charity

 

I also have my own stuff such as business plans with financials to figure out etc

 

 

Aside from this, Bronze is agitated. A bit barky and annoying. She will want to go out tbh. 

 

I need to clean the kitchen and the bathroom and also clear Jacksons litter tray. 

 

I just feel on edge with it all. I cant focus. 

 

 

 

Ok..... i think this is the plan for me. 

 

- Pop dishes in to soak. 

- Put laundry on

- Drink a big glass of water

- Take Bronze out to the park and take the football to have a kick about for 40 mins

- Have lunch, more water, meds

- Laundry out to dry

- Clean kitchen

- Jacksons litter

- Work on video edits (2 hour)

- Work on website (2 hours)

 

 

xx

 

[Harriet]

How exciting that you are going to get a weightlifting lesson! As for the walking, I am sure there are lots of free programmes online. You just have to pick something and start. 

[Salinger]

21 minutes ago, Harriet said:

How exciting that you are going to get a weightlifting lesson! As for the walking, I am sure there are lots of free programmes online. You just have to pick something and start. 

 

Im scared AND also looking forward to it!!!!!

 

Yes, i just need to focus on this. Plot out where to go, or how many miles or time spent on the walk. I am trying not to add pressure on myself or I wont do it. xx

[Salinger]

Hey ....

 

Bronze is walked. we played footy in the park. 

 

A VERY bouncy young lurcher came into the park and ive never seen a dog run so fast haha

 

Bronze was initially a bit wary, due to the bouncy speed!! But she relaxed and played with her. 

 

 

 

 

We did many laps of the field, and now Bronze is flat out and ive just had my overnight oats and fruit. As i felt a bit sick with anxiety this morning. 

 

 

 

also made a salad to munch on, with homemade dressing to add. and another glass of water ❤️

 

 

 

 

 

Hoping it helps me get going this afternoon and get work done. 

 

I am going to apply for a Women’s Enterprise Growth Programme, it is a free course next year. 

 

This exciting nine-month learning programme develops personal strengths and abilities to overcome challenges experienced by female-identifying and non-binary people:

 

Leading with confidence in the face of gender inequalities

Managing the mental load of leadership, family and caring responsibilities

Navigating imposter syndrome and the complexities of self esteem

Harnessing hormonal cycles to thrive in your business and life

Maintaining your individuality within business culture

 

 

Right, better get on with work  

 

xx

[Artemis Prime]

That course sounds exciting!

[Sovalis]

That course sounds very cool! I'm proud of you for eating so many colours and getting Bronze worn out. I wish Sax was as good with other dogs as Bronze is, but he's a jerk. ?

[Salinger]

20 hours ago, Artemis Prime said:

That course sounds exciting!

 

❤️ 

 

8 hours ago, Sovalis said:

That course sounds very cool! I'm proud of you for eating so many colours and getting Bronze worn out. I wish Sax was as good with other dogs as Bronze is, but he's a jerk. ?

 

❤️ 

 

Thank you! haha Bronze is so good these days with other dogs. So much more confident x

[Salinger]

Morning 11.30am here. 

 

Bronze is meant to be out with the dog walker today but she has had to assist with a family health issue so no walks for Bronze with all her pals. 

 

Means i have to take her out today which is annoying as i tried to plan the day to get bits done without her needing me. 

 

I am feeling very anxious this morning. My heart is pounding and i am very nauseous.

 

I am unsure exactly what is going on, im not totally sure why i feel so anxious. 

 

Its horrid. 

 

x

[TiogaGirl]

Hey Sal! Unexplained anxiety sounds like no fun. I hope it lifts quickly. Maybe watching Bronze play and goof around will help. Though I’m sure it’s frustrating when you had plans to be productive. No advice, just solidarity ❤️

[Salinger]

35 minutes ago, TiogaGirl said:

Hey Sal! Unexplained anxiety sounds like no fun. I hope it lifts quickly. Maybe watching Bronze play and goof around will help. Though I’m sure it’s frustrating when you had plans to be productive. No advice, just solidarity ❤️

 

Thank you TG. I just washed the dishes, had my overnight oats and fruit, and a glass of water and my meds. 

 

Its very strange. I honestly feel drunk?! Like i cant remember the last 2 hours properly, its a blur!?

 

A little scary......

 

I need to collect my prescription and Roxy's prescription. Plus get some more almond milk and butter. Cant decide if to go before or after i do some work. 

 

Maybe i could do work for 1 hour. Then go collect bits and pieces. And once i get back, take Bronze out somewhere, before the school and work end rush. 

 

I would LOVE to just be able to sleep all afternoon. 

 

x

[Salinger]

2.30pm...

 

I am feeling quite down about stuff. Business stuff. I have two people on board (not officially) and things are exciting and focused. 

 

Howver the past week, keep getting email to say, so busy, will look over the plans next week....put back and back and back. 

 

I totally get that people have other work, (paid) and are busy! But i feel like im hanging on for them, to advise. Its frustrating. I cant do this development of the organisation on my own. I need people who know how to do this next bit. But feel like they cant offer what I initially thought they could. 

 

So i feel on edge and frustrated. Not sure what to do

 

Maybe ill go get the prescriptions and listen to music really loud in the car?! x

[Salinger]

Hey all

 

I drove with loud music. After pharmacy I parked up at a cemetery and walked around. Sat on a bench and cried.

 

Then went home. Via the shop for a few bits, then dropped that at home and took Bronze out

 

45 mins playing in the field. Both tired as it's hot

 

Home. Bath. Pizza. Football. Film.

 

I then started to feel very poorly. Sick, headache, aching. I felt faint. So went up to bed. Fell asleep quickly.

 

It's 5.30am here now. I'm in bed just resting. Defo don't feel as bad as I did. The sleep prob helped.

 

Bronze is laying next to me so close and her body is warm and soft against my legs ? I love her.

 

Today I have work to do - learning new coding for the website stuff. Apply for that women's business thing, emails and general stuff.

 

Then I have the weightlifting class at 3.30.

 

Might get an another hour kip xx

[Harriet]

I'm sorry about all the horrid anxiety and symptoms. I don't know why that's happening but it sounds shit.

 

Just to check the basics, have you had some nice nourishing food, enough liquids and some salt? I get heart palpitations when I have too much or too little water and/or salt. And I sometimes get massive anxiety and other symptoms from what seems to be a drop in blood sugar after a low fat, low protein, high carb meal like oats and fruit. 

 

I hope you feel better and the weightlifting class goes well. 

[Salinger]

3 hours ago, Harriet said:

I'm sorry about all the horrid anxiety and symptoms. I don't know why that's happening but it sounds shit.

 

Just to check the basics, have you had some nice nourishing food, enough liquids and some salt? I get heart palpitations when I have too much or too little water and/or salt. And I sometimes get massive anxiety and other symptoms from what seems to be a drop in blood sugar after a low fat, low protein, high carb meal like oats and fruit. 

 

I hope you feel better and the weightlifting class goes well. 

 

Thank you Harriet ❤️

 

Probably not enough water. But I would say ok with nourishing food. Greek yogurt with the oats and fruit but also chicken salad. 

 

This morning I am a little bit anxious again frustrating. I feel upset that I am not ok. 

 

Will try hard to relax - and get on with work x

[TiogaGirl]

(((Sal))) I hope you feel better soon! Trying hard to relax is such an oxymoron, but it sounds like you are doing all the right things (sleep, healthy food, and good to hear the o’night oats have protein too)

 

I have a great feeling about your weight lifting class today.  Please check in after and tell us how it went!