[Laghail]

Wednesday September 25

• Best thrifting trip last night! Got Liam's professional wardrobe updated and I had a certain wicked pleasure in continually pitching options over the changing room door to make the boy walk out with 15 rejects and 10 wins for a $35 bill at the end. WFH so all he needed were smart business casual tops and no one on the video call can see the gym shorts. Also got Laura a new Lane Bryant coat that was hidden in the men's section, which is a fucking rare find either way. Elsie got a new blanket, always needed because Caspian fucks blankets like no tomorrow, so they're always going through the wash and progressively losing their plush factor. Elsie requires plush blankets if she's going to a star coworker, and Caspian prefers his sexual partners to be as plush as possible, so, blankies for the blanket gods.   
  • 
• Duo-con yesterday was interesting. Looks like they're launching interactive adventure game-style lessons, an AI-powered telephone conversation feature, and a mic feature for the music app that let's you use a keyboard or piano to complete lessons. All v exciting, but the hidden gem was watching Jon Batiste's segment at the end, ruminating on talent and participation in art, even as a beginner. Goddamn that man is pretty.
  • Weird to hear a tech company celebrate their AI features that I'll be excited to use, even while we know there was a 10% lay off because of these features. FFS. 
• Finally getting the harmony side of Jesse James clicking into the melody the way it should. Shocking news, it's harder to synch two parts when you don't know one of them. Damn it was frustrating tho. I know I'm learning meta skills around enduring being bad at something, but it keeps being a surprise encountering the frustration, then the impossibly slow progress, then suddenly it starts clicking, and it's like my brain doesn't record the bits between starting to understand a concept, and the concept seating in deep. Means I keep expecting things to just snap in and forgetting the frustration parts of skill acquisition. 

[Laghail]

My Cat is Sad

by Spencer Madsen

 

my cat is sad.
no one else in his family is a cat
we are all human except for him
he is excluded from most things
and no one tells him why
he just wants to play
and be loved
he looks at us with wonder
and disappointment
he says hello I am a cat what is my existence
what is that / why it and not me / please can you look at me and love me too 
can I have some of your food please im sorry I don’t like my food so much
do you want to play with my toys? this one is my favorite
do you like me
are we brothers
why didn’t I grow up
why am I so small
can you help me be happy
where are you going

 

Spoiler

The cat is a cat, and the cat is also the reader ?‍♂️ 

 

[sylph]

2 hours ago, Laghail said:

he just wants to play
and be loved
he looks at us with wonder
and disappointment

Well, fuck.

[Laghail]

22 minutes ago, sylph said:

Well, fuck.

Spoiler

Yeah, now go read that poem and find/replace "cat" with "younger sylph". If I'm shook, you should be too lol

 

[Mad Hatter]

19 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Poetry is a bit like enjoying paintings in that everyone gets something different from the same piece. No two people will read the poem in quite the same way. 
so theres no wrong way of doing it. Everyone has different taste and opinions and they're all equally valid. Everyone comes at a piece from their own perspective and life experiences, so will experience it differently. 
personally short stories are not my cup of tea. They are just the wrong length for me to enjoy.

It's not even about the meaning, it's like my eyes glaze over the words and I can't even take it in.

 

I love a good short story! I haven't read many good ones though, most would be better as a novella at least (or not at all). But I find the format mostly works for highly conceptual ideas that tickle my brain but probably couldn't be sustained.

 

14 hours ago, Laghail said:

only failed adults, only nerds, only uneducated degenerates enjoy shit like Briana Raucci's "Moo Deng", Lucas Werneck panel from House of M #7, or Cardi B's "WAP".

Oh hey that's me! I've no shame about it. I asked more because perhaps it could be interesting to expand my horizons. Then again, there's already an infinite amount of art to consume.

 

One of the few pieces I liked is Aniara - but it's more like a weird, sad sci-fi novella that happens to rhyme so I can't post the whole thing. (Fun fact: In high school I did a presentation on the made up words in one of the poems. I did well despite it being a complete piss-take.)

 

11 hours ago, Laghail said:

  Hide contents

Yeah, now go read that poem and find/replace "cat" with "younger sylph". If I'm shook, you should be too lol

 

Spoiler

Nope. Sticking with the cat version. ?

 

[Sea-to-sky]

18 hours ago, Laghail said:

but it keeps being a surprise encountering the frustration, then the impossibly slow progress, then suddenly it starts clicking, and it's like my brain doesn't record the bits between starting to understand a concept, and the concept seating in deep. Means I keep expecting things to just snap in and forgetting the frustration parts of skill acquisition. 

I think this is just the way it is. We (humans) don't tent to remember the bits in the middle. One of the reasons teaching is so hard in my opinion. When you've been doing something long enough, you forget how you got to the point where it becomes something you just do without thinking about it. 
 

 

[sylph]

16 hours ago, Laghail said:

  Hide contents

Yeah, now go read that poem and find/replace "cat" with "younger sylph". If I'm shook, you should be too lol

 

Um. yes. Pardon me while I go cry in a corner for the next six hours

[Sea-to-sky]

4 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

It's not even about the meaning, it's like my eyes glaze over the words and I can't even take it in.

Yeah, thats difficult. I get this with certain poetry styles and some abstract art (hockney), so maybe its a personal thing?

 

4 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

love a good short story! I haven't read many good ones though, most would be better as a novella at least (or not at all). But I find the format mostly works for highly conceptual ideas that tickle my brain but probably couldn't be sustained.

Agreed. Most I've read need to be longer for me. The story starts before it gets going. Nothing gets developed as much as id like and then..oh its over already.  
the only ones i passingly liked where rold dahls. And that was becuase they jammed themselves into my head with a crowbar. Less because i enjoyed them per say. 

[sylph]

4 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

It's not even about the meaning, it's like my eyes glaze over the words and I can't even take it in.

I get that way with super long poems sometimes.

I have better success with stuff broken into short stanzas (like the ee cummings bit I posted above)

 

Or poems that are just short in general.

 

Like:

 

 

I hope I told you

How much you meant to me

And how much

I would miss you

When you were gone

I hope I told you

I hope I did

-Athey Thompson

 

[Laghail]

"I need you to be a monster /
which is to say, I am trying not to love you /
which is to say, I am still dreaming of kissing your claws."

— Fortesa Latifi 

[Laghail]

"I’ve never forgiven a single person who’s broken my heart.
I construct palaces of their deceit. I wallpaper my house
with their betrayal. I build a fence made up of their bad faith.
inside, I harden.
inside, I grow powerful."

— Fortesa Latifi

 

Spoiler

This is not a cry for help btw, it's just Latifi and she slaps. And both pieces fit this months larger NF villain era. 

 

[Laghail]

Friday September 27

• Tattoo this afternoon and it's a big question mark. The plan was to do the last two lines of the Maggie Smith poem with a house of bones, but after spending a bit of time doing mockups, every house permutation looks terrible. I know it's all clipart and just supposed to be a jumping off point to communicate the idea to the artist, but christ no. The skull idea is maaaybe my favorite, not sure yet, but Liam is allergic to skull tattoos, finding them badly overdetermined. I'm pitching the skeletal hand and bee idea, possible with dandelions as the flower and the finger bones done in solid black while the bee and flower are a bright gold?? But I'm not sure how well gold does on skin.  
  • Rotting house 
    • 
  • Bone House
    • 
  • Smear house
    • 
  • Decomposing skull
    • 
  • skeletal hand and bee
    • 
• Drum circle night! I've been adding bits of bodhran practice here and there this month, and lets see how things feel tonight with having more of a consistent practice behind the single night of drumming. 
• Weigh loss stuff
  • Spoiler

    Weight-loss clinic visit yesterday and the doc wanted to focus on the concept of dietary-induced thermogenesis (DIT), or, she only wants me having two protein shakes a day to pad out four meals with 30g of non-pureed protein each. Given that my beautiful trend of 1lb of muscle increase per month abandoned me and I dropped two lbs of muscle in addition to fat loss this month, I was very amenable to her idea.

  • New trackable goal, who dis. 4 meals a day with 30g of protein. 4 is green, 3 is black, 0-2 are red.  

 

[Sea-to-sky]

5 hours ago, Laghail said:

The skull idea is maaaybe my favorite, not sure yet, but Liam is allergic to skull tattoos, finding them badly overdetermined. I'm pitching the skeletal hand and bee idea, possible with dandelions as the flower and the finger bones done in solid black while the bee and flower are a bright gold?? But I'm not sure how well gold does on skin

Could go deer or other animal skull if you want to not do human.

if you want a feeling of a broken vessel you could maybe try something like a broken vase or something with the fungi growing from it. The fungi make a really cool tattoo image, but i am incredibly biased as i love floral, fungal  and other nature tattoos. 
the bee and skeletal hand is a cool idea. Bee in the palm would be cool too. Nice to see the whole hand + insect with such a fun twist. 

 

i agree the clip art kills me visually too. 

[Laghail]

41 minutes ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Could go deer or other animal skull if you want to not do human.

if you want a feeling of a broken vessel you could maybe try something like a broken vase or something with the fungi growing from it. The fungi make a really cool tattoo image, but i am incredibly biased as i love floral, fungal  and other nature tattoos. 
the bee and skeletal hand is a cool idea. Bee in the palm would be cool too. Nice to see the whole hand + insect with such a fun twist. 

 

i agree the clip art kills me visually too. 

I love the ideas. The artist is regrouping to render a half dissolved house with the words emerging in the empty space. Fingers crossed, and I loved the artistic integrity in taking a week to remix designs when her flawlessly executed original drafts just left us cold.  

[Whisper]

On 9/25/2024 at 11:34 AM, Laghail said:

my cat is sad.

I shall hug my cats and tell them they are loved

 

 

 

 

[Laghail]

Monday September 30

Two of Cats, by Phoenica

• Drum circle was Friday and excellent. The extra drumming paid off and it was a delight sorta hearing the rhythms inside a steady beat, sorta playing with the accent placement in a reel and trying to keep enthusiastic newcomers wrapped into the larger rhythm, even when this big ocean drum starts rolling. Just a treat. Next month is the Samhain circle and there'll be a dumb super along with it. It's maybe one of my favorite things all year. 
  • Was I maybe overstimulated racing through the work day, squeezing in a workout instead of a tattoo session, and then getting to circle a bit late? Possibly. It's still an adjustment moving from ADHD stress of a million things undone and needing to dissociate from the guilt, to an appropriately-medicated experience of wielding executive function all day and having the fatigue of a long day without a million ADHD fuck-around breaks. 
• Had Kaia Kater stuck in my head for the last week. I'm not complaining per se, but it's a whole thing. You're welcome for the contagion. 
• Not a great day for brains, so please accept the following tributes in lieu of brain-ing today:
  •  
  •  

 

[Laghail]

On 9/28/2024 at 9:49 PM, Whisper said:

 

Gorgeous Whisper!!

[Sea-to-sky]

Ok, in no particular order.

 

wow that is a gorgeous banjo in that vid. Just stunning. Also cracking music.

 

danish pumpkin pastry thing looks amazing. Very up for supporting that flavour of the season

 

as always, the fluffy ball of cuteness is adorable. This goes without saying. 
 

brain things suck. Especially on bad days. Definitely get the having to dissacosiate from guilt over not getting stuff done. 
 

drum circle sounds awesome. Love that there is an ocean drum. They are so incredibly cool. Never seen one in person sadly. 

[Sea-to-sky]

 

not sure if ive sent this one. But nice tune for you

[Laghail]

Tuesday October 1

The Kennet Trio by AugustBorne

• Went over to a sibbling's house and used his ripsaw to take off the bindings on a few music books and then three hole punch the whole lot - presenting the trash panda's grimoire:
  •  
• Up earlier than normal for a committee meeting. I think it's still worthwhile being involved but I'm groggy as hell. Running a panel on October 11th and using some bullshit questions as an excuse to have the participants repeat info to this company audience about gender affirming care benefits. Sorta part of a sneaky plan to move towards a union by highlighting gaps in the benefits package at this company. 
•  Liam and I were sabotaged last night! Our glorious purpose, to chain Appalachian horror movies every night for a week or two, was thwarted when Laura put on Bob's Burgers. Against the Belcher family, I have no defenses. Notable episodes in our unplanned marathon were the Mad Pooper, God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins, and Lindapendent Woman.
• The food thing is going. This wouldn't be nerd fitness if I wasn't feeling anxious and alienated by my dietary choices, this is what we do!! (sorry, this is the lack of sleep talking) It's going okay though, def had enjoyed eating mostly protein shakes with 1-2 solid meals a day, but I was missing thermogenic benefits of eating solid food and that's bad, I guess?? What is life even. 
• Oh, added the owl emoji to capture duolingo Spanish as an observation goal. Might add my spanish level, just because I'm both competitive AND petty, and having a regularly advancing goal will make me feel smug. Bad for me as a person, good for this goal tho.
  • Pro: Spanish on duo is fun and incredibly well supported
  • Con: my brain is mildly prejudiced against Spanish as a low-prestige language in my region
  • Pro: Latin American revolutionary lit in the original Spanish
  • con: nope, I only have the once racist-lite con
  • Pro: Siglo de Oro poetry
  • Pro: positions me better for Ladino and Occitan
  • Con: Nope, literally no other drawbacks
• Ibuprofen bottle cap wouldn't open this morning and between Laura's endometriosis and Liam's jujitsu classes, we consume a lot of NSAIDs in this house. I ended up using my dogs' penis shears to cut open the bottle to get that sweet sweet propionic acid. 
  • Normally this would not be a "newsworthy" item, but it made me giggle to use the heavy duty gardening shears that we normally use to cut pizzle sticks into small enough chunks for the yorkies to work on. 
    • 

[Sea-to-sky]

15 minutes ago, Laghail said:

presenting the trash panda's grimoire

?❤️ i love it. Add some rune sticker and i am sold

 

16 minutes ago, Laghail said:

Our glorious purpose, to chain Appalachian horror movies every night 

What makes it an Appalachian  horror movie?

 

[Laghail]

4 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Ok, in no particular order.

 

wow that is a gorgeous banjo in that vid. Just stunning. Also cracking music.

 

Kaia Kater man. She's one of several modern black American folk players, sorta reclaiming the claw hammer style on banjo as relevant for more than white-sheet parties. Notice how high on the action she's playing, almost picking on the neck? Most three finger players, like Tony Trischka are playing barely above the bridge, except for our boy Noam, three finger picking high on the action but not quite Kaia high. Just fun to watch and notice how much resonance vs precision the players want in their sound. 

• 
• 
• 

 

4 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

danish pumpkin pastry thing looks amazing. Very up for supporting that flavour of the season

 

I brought one of their throwback 70's flavors to drum circle, a pineapple pecan piece that was stupid sweet but the drummers devoured it. 

 

4 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

brain things suck. Especially on bad days. Definitely get the having to disassociate from guilt over not getting stuff done. 

 

It's weirdly encouraging for me to see that my brain was protecting me, in absence of executive function, with the dissociation/distraction piece. Weird things are weird. 

 

4 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

drum circle sounds awesome. Love that there is an ocean drum. They are so incredibly cool. Never seen one in person sadly. 

 

4 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

[Otters Holt]

not sure if ive sent this one. But nice tune for you

 

Hrm, can I schedule a session with you to show me that black magic tab translator witchcraft/software you showed me and @Jarric a few months ago? I really like this piece but I'm only seeing tabs for mando, guitar, or tin whistle.

 

18 minutes ago, Sea-to-sky said:

?❤️ i love it. Add some rune sticker and i am sold

 

You sunnofabitch, I'm in.

 

18 minutes ago, Sea-to-sky said:

What makes it an Appalachian  horror movie?

 

Tend to be horror movies set in the rural Appalachian mountains with themes of old horrors coming from the mountains, clans of poor but proud families keeping secrets, and hard scrabble people surviving despite the horrors. Also can have racist themes of degeneracy and the dissolution of white racial purity through miscegenation and poverty, which are often seen as the same thing in this meta-genre. Just recast HP's shit in the mountains and you're there.

 

Also, fun fact, that mountain range used to be your next door neighbor:

 

[Sea-to-sky]

12 minutes ago, Laghail said:

schedule a session with you to show me that black magic tab translator witchcraft/software you showed me

Give me a yell and i can give you a crash (possibly litterally) course

[Sea-to-sky]

13 minutes ago, Laghail said:

Also, fun fact, that mountain range used to be your next door neighbor

Yeah, we are sadly on the wrong side of the “haz mountains” line ☹️ no mountains for us

[Laghail]

HUNGER

by Marc Harshman

 

White peonies border the stones of the old foundation.

At the edge of the meadow peacocks fan light

            into small rainbows of flame.

You listen for the soft step of a bear,

            the black paws’ chuff upon the leaf litter.

An old road closes its arms around the forgotten,

fallow fields.

Your brother will return from there in the chiffon silence

            of the afterlife, wrap you in a reassurance

            unavailable from any altar.

And here, where the sun slips into the tangle of forest,

            a barred owl is singing for his supper as he always does

            with a question much like your own.

Who’ll cook for you, who’ll cook for you, who’ll cook for you?

 

Spoiler

APPALACHIAN POETRY TIME!!