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Kiss Motivation Workout FAIL


DoogieT

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Well, there goes that idea. The woman that I thought I had a chance with and was going to try to get down to 183 for sent me a text today after she started a new job saying, "I have to tell you, tho, that if I find myself a boyfriend I'm gonna have to back out of our deal."

I'm not sure if I thought I had a chance because I was so attracted to her (as someone here said) or if I'm just really bad at reading women's signals (I thought "Do you like women who wear heels to bed?" was pretty clear).

The only solution for me now is to...

LOSE WEIGHT, KICK ASS AND FIND SOMEONE BETTER!

:D

doogiet

Shoryuken!

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I'm sorry, you deserve much better than that! Girls like that are....just....awful!!!

I don't even know what to say, I don't know you, or her, but I would like to remove her teeth with my foot!!!

GAH

Her loss,

I hope she breaks a heel on the way to the bed with her new boyfriend and busts her nose!

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Yeah, that sucks Doogie. I have a friend who gained a bunch of weight, him and his wife were having some marital issues, the subject of intimacy came up and she had mentioned him being heavier now was a turn-off, he dropped the weight like it was hot, is a beast at working out and now there is "more" excuses. Its effed up stuff man. Do this for you, the right girl will appreciate the by-products of your fitness journey and so will you! Lose weight, kick ass, find someone better = exactly.

"First, decide who you would be and then do what you must do." ~Epictetus 

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Given the exchanges you've related, I'm going to guess there was a pretty wide gap between what you and she perceived as going on the whole time.

"Do you like it when a girl wears heels to bed" was probably very different in her mind to "is it ok if I wear heels into your bed". It all likely seemed like innocent flirting to her - she probably figured that you understood that you and she being an "item" was never on the table.

At the end of the day, it's the same result to you, unfortunately - you need to find someone who wants you for you (better to know now then later, though), and your own internal sources of motivation. I just wanted to throw this out there before everyone piles on this girl - the same situation can look very different through another set of lenses.

Anyway, keep kicking ass man - and when you find the right girl, you'll be all the happier for it.

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Yeah, that's fair, too. We never know what other people are thinking.

I thought I had no chance to begin with, but the heels comment was what made me think I did. So if I misinterpreted that, then it's my fault.

Life, you are a hideous bitch goddess. ;)

Shoryuken!

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I have a slightly different read -- she said "if I find myself a boyfriend." Could you respond "well, what if *I* were your boyfriend? Would the deal still be off? I don't suppose I'd object to you making good on a deal you made before we started dating, if that deal is with me."

It's a ballsy move, and it'll either work, or not. And if not, you're right where you think you are right now. I'd say go for it.

LRB, Lifelong Rebel Badass  ||  June 3 challenge thread

"What I lack in ability, I make up in stubbornness" -me

"Someone busier than you is working out right now" -my mom

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Guest Gemeaux

Bout the heels : I wouldn't ask those things if I just saw the guy as a friend . I only talk about sex like that with guys I'd actually get nasty with . Hehe .

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Sorry for your luck bro. With a comment like her's, it sounds like she just wanted you as a play thing. At least you learned now, and not after things between you and her went down the chute.

Now you can work out and show her everything that she is missing out on.

Level 1 Woodwose

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Lame. Sounds like she's a tease & keeping you around as a spare. To the curb with her!

Meanwhile, back at the DoogCave, I'm glad you found some different motivation!

I know it's super duper hard to change your thinking, but this attitude here:

The woman that I thought I had a chance with

is kind of counter productive.

In reality, you "have a chance" with more women than you could possibly imagine. The thing is - right now they don't know you exist.

I said the following kind of flippantly recently, but I kinda like it so I'll share it again:

Try to adopt the mentality that you are a sexy beast, and that you could have your pick of [wo]men, but for some reason this one has caught your eye.

I don't claim to know what anybody "wants" but I do know that almost nobody wants anybody who gives off even the slightest whiff of desperation.

Good luck man! I respect you for being out there and taking chances!

"Get busy living or get busy dying. That's goddamn right." - Red"I'm not losing weight, I'm evicting fat." -me

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Bullet dodged, my friend! You could follow LRB's lead and call her bluff, but definitely don't hang your hopes on this one. I've had to learn and relearn that lesson, and it's good to figure these things out ahead of time. And ultimately, a kiss is just a kiss. Nothing more than that.

"If you get into trouble, you can always eat something, blow something up, or throw penguins." - Jim Henson

 

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