Why bother? -- we need our motivation back!

[Elysium]

Hey all,

A few of the ladies I work out with were tossing around this question, and wondering if anyone could throw some advice our way.

The question is, Why work so hard to eat healthy, get in shape, etc. when we're never going to look good anyways?

Most of us are moms and we have stretch marks and scarring. Even if we do eat paleo, get our body fat down, build muscle, we are never going to look attractive. We will never be able to wear swimsuits (or for some of us, shorts and t shirts) no matter how fit we are. It's killing our motivation! We've been contimplating ditching our workout and getting some doughnuts. If we're always going to need to cover up, why bother trying?

Any advice? We need our motivation back...

[Wicked Pixie]

I absolutely MUST disagree with you!

I am 34 years old, I have given birth to 4 children. At my highest weight I was over 220lbs.

I am covered in scars and stretchmarks and I've earned every single one of them.

You are your own worst critic. You have to decide that what OTHER people think doesn't matter.

Until you are ready to do that I can get you the number to the bakery down the street.

[mandy75]

I am 37, mom of 3, highest weight was 200. I have LOTS of stretchmarks. I think my tummy looks like a basketball..lol, but you know what, I don't care. I am down to 163, my lowest weight in at least 12yrs. I just bought my first bikini in 15yrs, and ya know what, I wear that thing! If someone doesn't want to look at my stretch marks and cellulite, screw'em. I am almost brave enough to post pics here, if that would help.

Besides looks, think of your health and being healthy for your family.

[Wicked Pixie]

I am almost brave enough to post pics here, if that would help.

Besides looks, think of your health and being healthy for your family.

I will if you will!

[IfItPlugsIn]

If it would inspire someone to get back in the game, I'd post pics too! I got down around 140 after my 2nd baby. Yeah, I'm covered in stretch marks too, but they started fading and I was this close to being ok with wearing my bikini again.

[Wicked Pixie]

...could be evil plot to get NF girls to post pics of themselves in barely anything....

[mandy75]

sooo, are we going to fall for the plot??..lol

[This is Seth]

I've got fat guy stretch marks and I post progression photos of myself. It's pretty empowering.

[Wicked Pixie]

sooo, are we going to fall for the plot??..lol

I'm down

[Wicked Pixie]

[leadchipmunk]

Most of us are moms and we have stretch marks and scarring. Even if we do eat paleo, get our body fat down, build muscle, we are never going to look attractive.

I am covered in scars and stretchmarks and I've earned every single one of them.

Those stretch marks and scars have been earned, and that is what makes them beautiful. You've lived life and had kids, and the marks/scars are just trophies of what you have acomplished.

...could be evil plot to get NF girls to post pics of themselves in barely anything....

As a man, I have one thing to say. Do it! Haha. For motivation sake of course for the other NF girls on here.

I've got fat guy stretch marks and I post progression photos of myself. It's pretty empowering.

I'm in the same boat, Seth. Fat guy stretch marks are much worse than earned stretch marks most women get. So if we can post pictures, you can too!

--

While I was typing this, Wicked posted some. Looking good! I never would have thought you were 34 and had 4 kids!

[Eurydice]

That's kind of like asking why you should keep the internal workings of your house in good repair when you never invite anyone over. Things like "So you'll have hot water to shower in" and "So you won't die in an electrical fire" come to mind. Not to mention "Because you have to live there and when it's grimy and cluttered it's really depressing."

I'm 43, myself. If I only wanted to be healthy so I could be attractive, I would sit on my couch and eat donuts all day too, because it's not going to happen. Fortunately for my weight, my wardrobe, and my relative lack of zits, being healthy is a lot more fun than looking like the mom in What's Eating Gilbert Grape even if no guy ever gives me a second glance.

[spezzy]

Hey all,

A few of the ladies I work out with were tossing around this question, and wondering if anyone could throw some advice our way.

The question is, Why work so hard to eat healthy, get in shape, etc. when we're never going to look good anyways?

Most of us are moms and we have stretch marks and scarring. Even if we do eat paleo, get our body fat down, build muscle, we are never going to look attractive. We will never be able to wear swimsuits (or for some of us, shorts and t shirts) no matter how fit we are. It's killing our motivation! We've been contimplating ditching our workout and getting some doughnuts. If we're always going to need to cover up, why bother trying?

Any advice? We need our motivation back...

i find the thought of this extremely depressing.

i have stretch marks from when i was fat. does that make it impossible for me to ever be attractive?

and should I never ever wear shorts ever again because of them?

[Lachy]

I think its a case of putting the media's ideals of beauty ahead of reality. If you loose weight, get fit, you will look fantastic! Wicked Pixie just proved that, she's looking great I'm sure you'll all agree. You might not end up looking like a 16 year old runway model on the cover of Vogue, but you will look fantastic (if that's a required motivation), and you will feel awesome.

[Wicked Pixie]

i find the thought of this extremely depressing.

i have stretch marks from when i was fat. does that make it impossible for me to ever be attractive?

and should I never ever wear shorts ever again because of them?

Spezzy, I think you're beautiful!

I have horrific veins on the backs of my legs & never wore shorts in high school.... I'm finally to a point where it's about how I feel and not what anyone else thinks!

[mandy75]

my turn I guess.

I should have got a better pic of the top, because honestly,my rack looks FANTASTIC in this top..LOL Hey, there had to be some advantage to gaining weight. I still have some serious work to do on my backside, but its getting there..

[ATTACH=CONFIG]3741[/ATTACH] [ATTACH=CONFIG]3740[/ATTACH] [ATTACH=CONFIG]3739[/ATTACH]

[Kewilson]

*looks at everyone's pictures*

What stretch marks?

My fat guy stretch marks have faded, either from time or losing weight. They're barely visible now, whereas just a couple of years ago I looked like I lost (won?) a fight with a great white shark - red gashes up and down my torso. But even supposing that that weren't the case, wouldn't you rather be in shape with stretch marks than not in shape with stretch marks?

[Librarian of Doom]

I'll just leave this here...

http://theshapeofamother.com/

I agree with Eurydice, there are lots of benefits to being in shape besides being "attractive," but try to find some love for your body! It has done amazing things, and every scar and stretch mark tells that story.

I wasn't able to be in a place where I could be healthy with diet and working out until I loved my body and was ready to take care of it like it deserved. YMMV, of course, but stop judging yourself by Victoria's Secret models or whatever arbitrary standard you've set. The only one you need to compare yourself to is you! (as I have to keep reminding myself in yoga class, when I keep looking around to see if anyone else can get their heels to the floor)

[TheSavageBean]

This is what works for me.

Do it for everyone who thinks you're fat and won't amount to anything. Prove you can conquer gravity itself. Do it for something interesting to talk about. Do it because you'll hold your grandchildren one day. Do it because the next generation will look up to you and ask you how you did it.

What does a stretch mark mean, compared to that feeling of motivation?

[Wicked Pixie]

Mandy!!! Damn girl!!!

[StephJinx]

Because every time you take a chance and show your body with pride, you're teaching your children that there is no ideal. Every body is beautiful.

The war on the "perfect" body has to start somewhere! It might as well be with ourselves and with our children.

[mandy75]

Mandy!!! Damn girl!!!

no WikedPixie, you get the Damn girl!!!. You look amazing and I am totally jealous of your back, and belly for that matter..lol adn um, I didn't see any stretch marks

[azsf]

why should you work out if you wont ever be attractive? couple reasons:

improved functional ability: strength and energy to play with your kids, go on active holidays, get lively in the bedroom, and just do more than warm the couch every weekend.

improved health: strong heart, strong mental state, increased will power, more stamina, a more focused outlook on life, increased immunity to disease, (generally) longer life, less chronic illness.

improved social relations: supportive friend structure, sharing of goals, gains, workout methods. this also extends to the wider community as you encourage others to join you in your workouts, or share your stories.

as much as we can all long for those awesome aesthetics, they should really just be a bonus, not the focus. dont worry about looking awesome, be awesome instead!

[Jcannon98188]

...could be evil plot to get NF girls to post pics of themselves in barely anything....

Dang. Their onto us. Back to the planning board

[Jcannon98188]

Hey all,

A few of the ladies I work out with were tossing around this question, and wondering if anyone could throw some advice our way.

The question is, Why work so hard to eat healthy, get in shape, etc. when we're never going to look good anyways?

Most of us are moms and we have stretch marks and scarring. Even if we do eat paleo, get our body fat down, build muscle, we are never going to look attractive. We will never be able to wear swimsuits (or for some of us, shorts and t shirts) no matter how fit we are. It's killing our motivation! We've been contimplating ditching our workout and getting some doughnuts. If we're always going to need to cover up, why bother trying?

Any advice? We need our motivation back...

Say's who? Who says that you can't look or feel beautiful? What is beautiful anyways? There is a natural beauty that a person radiates when they take care of themselves, and carry themselves with pride. Might you have scars or memories of your old life? Sure. Everyone that goes through a radical change of some sort will. So what? Look at it as what you once were, and what you will never be again. Most importantly, do it for yourself. If YOU feel like it was worth it, then nothing else matters.