Why bother? -- we need our motivation back!

[BadWolf]

Well since most of you are moms the answer is: to be the hottest, fittest moms out there! Also, as you get older and yours kids get older and they have kids you will be the bad ass granny that is running around, playing, going on adventures instead of being fragile and not being able to do much. You're setting an awesome example for other people that no matter your age you can turn your life around and be strong.

[VorJoshigan]

K, I'm going to jump in here and say that all the ladies who posted photos look great. You're all far too hard on yourself and I'd be thrilled to make it to first base with any of you.

I really like this. Also, I shall concur with this sentiment.

All in favor say aye.

AYE!

Motion carries.

As for the ladies in the first post, |dramatic sigh accompanied by sad shake of head| I... I wish them the best on whatever road they travel.

As a man with mega stretch marks who got to at least 45% bodyfat, it was kinda hard to take the high road in my last statement.

[---]

To the original post:

Stretch marks? Scars? Um...I'm 27, never have had a child and I already have both of those--the former on my thighs and butt, and the latter from a couple surgeries. And believe you me when I say that I wish those were all the imperfections I had! I have moderate adult acne which I struggle to keep under control, even with the use of prescriptions. I do not look attractive with a lot of exposed skin, such as in a swimsuit, and I probably never will.

I'm still working out and eating healthily, though. Why? Because I've decided to stop sitting around and dreaming of being healthy, fit, and doing all the awesome things that I want to do--like parkour and martial arts. Instead, I've finally decided to just stop listening to the inner voices telling me that I'm too slow, too weak, can't stick with it, starting too late in life, am foolish for trying, blah blah blah. I've decided to tell those voices to can it, and just do it.

Because I can.

Hope that helps.

[Georges]

Thinking further on it...

I think a lot of us have this same feeling, at one point or another, or a lot.

Some of us focus on All The Other Reasons to get healthy. Some of us work on self-image. Some of us fall off the fitness path for a bit.

But it's not an uncommon feeling, I don't think, especially at the start of the journey, when there's little or no "mirror evidence" that it's working.

Or maybe I'm just flip-flopping because I feel like I look like crap today... still.

[Evicious]

Hey all,

A few of the ladies I work out with were tossing around this question, and wondering if anyone could throw some advice our way.

The question is, Why work so hard to eat healthy, get in shape, etc. when we're never going to look good anyways?

Most of us are moms and we have stretch marks and scarring. Even if we do eat paleo, get our body fat down, build muscle, we are never going to look attractive. We will never be able to wear swimsuits (or for some of us, shorts and t shirts) no matter how fit we are. It's killing our motivation! We've been contimplating ditching our workout and getting some doughnuts. If we're always going to need to cover up, why bother trying?

Any advice? We need our motivation back...

Oh yeah? Well, I hate the shape of my face; I'll never have that pretty, feminine jawline or those "kissable" lips.

I hate how thin and fine my hair is, and how I'll never be able to just wake up in the morning, run a brush through it, and walk out the door.

I hate that I don't have piano fingers: household pets and small children mistake them for vienna sausages.

I hate that my feet are size 10, and I'll never be able to wear eye-catching shoes without also donning a rainbow wig and red nose.

I hate that there are so many visible veins on my thighs, it looks like a 2 year old drew on my legs with red and blue pencils.

I hate that my boobs are so far apart, that every Victoria Secret's push-up bra has an identity crisis after I try them on.

And it is all these things (plus many others I haven't mentioned) that motivate me to workout and eat healthy. I am motivated by HATRED of all the imperfect little things I cannot change about my body: it is the sheer desperation to control the things I can, to emphasize the few things about me that I deem good, that push me beyond the doughnuts and off the couch. My daily goal is to make it so that my first look in the mirror every morning doesn't result in 7 years of bad luck.

Additionally (and to help keep The Me-Hulk at bay), I make a point of forcing myself to be a useful person every day. Things as simple as keeping the house clean, changing my own oil in the car, knowing where all my boyfriend's stuff is so I always have the answer to "Honey, have you seen my ______", and trying to be a creative cook... Ok, so I'm never going to be the head-turner most of my female friends are, but goddamnit I will be the kind of person who always has an extra juicer for life's lemons.

The point is, nobody gets everything in life: you're dealt your hand, and you work with what you've got. I've got ridiculously low self-esteem: I make it work for me. No one's gonna play your hand for you though, so I'd highly suggest you pick a card and get in the game already: it's your turn.

[DoogieT]

Whenever I'm feeling negative, I recite this prayer. I find it helps immensely:

Lord, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to hide the bodies of

the people I had to kill because

they pissed me off.

[tigersheart]

Hey all,

A few of the ladies I work out with were tossing around this question, and wondering if anyone could throw some advice our way.

The question is, Why work so hard to eat healthy, get in shape, etc. when we're never going to look good anyways?

Most of us are moms and we have stretch marks and scarring. Even if we do eat paleo, get our body fat down, build muscle, we are never going to look attractive. We will never be able to wear swimsuits (or for some of us, shorts and t shirts) no matter how fit we are. It's killing our motivation! We've been contimplating ditching our workout and getting some doughnuts. If we're always going to need to cover up, why bother trying?

Any advice? We need our motivation back...

First off. Grats to all you sexy ladies with the courage to post pics, no matter what you think of yourselves!!! Awesome photos, each and every one!

And I have to admit, it is an awesome evil plot!!!! muahahahahaha.....

Okay, Eysium, this is my opinion...and it is of course from a male perspective. I am 46 years old, and I will never be able to compete with the 20 somethings and their damn tight abs, not to mention the age spots that are starting to show, and just the general wear and tear on the body that comes with some years in.

So to answer your question point blank. Do you want to be the moms that their kids say to them...."mom I am worried about your health, you may have a heart attack or something'....or do you want to be the moms that their kids say..."MOM! can you slow down so we can keep up please!"

IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT LOOKING ATTRACTIVE! It is about you and your health, now and 30 years from now and beyond.

Besides, who says you are not attractive...and even if you don't think so right now, who says you won't be a year from now. Some things the body never can heal, but you will be surprised at what can change by eating healthy, staying healthy....so who knows what will happen down the road, and how your bodies may change.

And to get back to the 'its not all about looking attractive' part...... I eat paleo/Primal, and let me tell you, that at 46 years old, I may never have the 20 year old hardbody the 20 year old boys like to have, but I can honestly say "SO WHAT", I am 10 times healthier, and feel 10 times better than 99% of the people in my age group...and those much younger than me as well. And it is not going to do anything but keep getting better.

I may never be 'attractive' again, but I can promise you this. I will not be the one sitting around with a big fat belly at age 60, barely able to move, going to the doctor every month, living on 3 or 4 different prescription medications just to keep me alive.

Eating the way I do, exercising the way I do, means that until the day I die, I will be able to enjoy life the healthiest way possible....besides, I have 4 adult kids now, and it is so fucking awesome that I am in better shape/health than all of them combined

[---]

Evicious, are you a coffee drinker? If so, I've seen a shirt that would fit you perfectly...

[Evicious]

Evicious, are you a coffee drinker? If so, I've seen a shirt that would fit you perfectly...

[ATTACH=CONFIG]3785[/ATTACH]

Love your sig block, btw! I <3 LOTR

[leadchipmunk]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]3785[/ATTACH]

Gotta ask, was the person in the background showing off on purpose?

[DoogieT]

Speaking of scars, I have a scar on my right calf from when I had a benign tumor removed from it when I was eight. It grew and stretched as I grew up, and it's a keloid scar which means it's not a thin line. It's about a centimeter thick, about five inches long, curves like an S and you can even see the scars from the incisions where the sutures were. It looks like a centipede (the incision scars look like little feet without legs).

If I had gotten this scar now (or in my twenties, or possibly teens) I might have cried because, to be honest, it's pretty ugly. But it's been with me for so long that I wouldn't have it removed even if I could. It's a part of me. And anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my ass.

[Evicious]

Gotta ask, was the person in the background showing off on purpose?

Yeah, that's my boyfriend. X-D He's a punk.

[leadchipmunk]

I love the motivation coming out of this thread.

It makes me slightly ashamed that earlier on today I spent a good hour of my life wondering how unattractive I'd look with loose skin once I lose all the weight I want to lose. I mean, for pete's sake, there I was wondering about a bit of loose skin that may or may not even occur as a consequence of losing a load of weight and becoming a lot more healthy.

This thread has definitely put things in perspective.

Thin with loose skin is much better than having fat filling that skin out. The skin means that you are working on leveling up and is proof of your determination.

[Haikoo]

Thanks for the motivation, people. I swallowed my self hate and wore a bikini this weekend for the first time in 6 years.... It was hard, I won't lie. I almost chickened out and I had to beat down my negative thoughts while I wore it. But I did it!

[Wicked Pixie]

I don't know you Haikoo, but I'm super proud of you!!!

[Wicked Pixie]

Oh yeah? Well, I hate the shape of my face; I'll never have that pretty, feminine jawline or those "kissable" lips.

I hate how thin and fine my hair is, and how I'll never be able to just wake up in the morning, run a brush through it, and walk out the door.

I hate that I don't have piano fingers: household pets and small children mistake them for vienna sausages.

I hate that my feet are size 10, and I'll never be able to wear eye-catching shoes without also donning a rainbow wig and red nose.

I hate that there are so many visible veins on my thighs, it looks like a 2 year old drew on my legs with red and blue pencils.

I hate that my boobs are so far apart, that every Victoria Secret's push-up bra has an identity crisis after I try them on.

And it is all these things (plus many others I haven't mentioned) that motivate me to workout and eat healthy. I am motivated by HATRED of all the imperfect little things I cannot change about my body: it is the sheer desperation to control the things I can, to emphasize the few things about me that I deem good, that push me beyond the doughnuts and off the couch. My daily goal is to make it so that my first look in the mirror every morning doesn't result in 7 years of bad luck.

Additionally (and to help keep The Me-Hulk at bay), I make a point of forcing myself to be a useful person every day. Things as simple as keeping the house clean, changing my own oil in the car, knowing where all my boyfriend's stuff is so I always have the answer to "Honey, have you seen my ______", and trying to be a creative cook... Ok, so I'm never going to be the head-turner most of my female friends are, but goddamnit I will be the kind of person who always has an extra juicer for life's lemons.

The point is, nobody gets everything in life: you're dealt your hand, and you work with what you've got. I've got ridiculously low self-esteem: I make it work for me. No one's gonna play your hand for you though, so I'd highly suggest you pick a card and get in the game already: it's your turn.

I think you look strikingly like Jullianne Moore....

[21katykat01]

I think you look strikingly like Jullianne Moore....

I agree! And DoogieT, that 'prayer' was awesome

Like quite a few other people in this thread, I have stretchmarks and scars but no kids to show for them. I'm only in my early 20's, but from about the age of 19 to oh.... four, five months ago, I wouldn't get undressed in front of my 6.5-year long boyfriend because I was so ashamed. Then I realised, you know what? I'm friggin 23 and acting like an old maid!

Who cares about stretch marks and scars? They fade. And you know what? I have a body that works, I have all my limbs and a brain to keep them in order (most of the time). Yes, I want to look hot, but what's stretch marks/scars to that? I haven't changed an ounce in weight since then, but now I am brave and confident in front of my bf whether I feel it or not because if I act it, it slowly seeps in. And do you know what else? He's really not looking at the stretch marks. Honest!

I understand what it's like to feel like crap about yourself, but if you're seriously saying you're going to give up on having a body that is so healthy, you sail through old age, you play with your kids and grandkids without thinking you're going to die, you look 10 years younger than you actually are and you feel amazing, then that's really sad. I hope you were able to move on past the donuts.

[---]

Ah, good. I was hoping so. This is your shirt, Evicious... (It says, "I survive entirely on caffeine and HATE.")

And thanks! I'm a fantasy and world mythology nerd, so LOTR appeals to me on so many levels. The author himself is fascinating, as well. Oh, and he was C.S. Lewis's good buddy, so that also automatically makes him awesome in my book.

And your boyfriend is silly.

[Evicious]

Thanks for the motivation, people. I swallowed my self hate and wore a bikini this weekend for the first time in 6 years.... It was hard, I won't lie. I almost chickened out and I had to beat down my negative thoughts while I wore it. But I did it!

GOOD JOB! Next task: do it again. And again. And again. The more you wear it, the more comfortable you'll become with the whole thing.

I think you look strikingly like Jullianne Moore....

I had to look her up on IMDB, but wow... really? Thank you!

[ATTACH=CONFIG]3842[/ATTACH]

MUST BUY!!! Thanks Celidah! And yes, yes he is. Fortunately for him, that's one of the many things I find attractive about him.

[pixieopower]

I am 33.. covered in stretch marks... still jiggle in weird places.. but OWN that! I swear just a couple nights ago I was chatting with a lady I work with, who is EXACTLY my age, about kids and I said "yeah I have all the battle scars but none of the day to day headaches" and she asked if I had fat girl stretch marks or baby stretch marks. Like it matters LOL. So I told her about my son whom I placed for adoption when he was born and she said "wow, bet you are never gonna wear a bikini." .. of course motivating me that when I can buy one in a single digit size (9 would be cool) I an SO FREAKIN WEARING IT!!! I earned these scars! I'm gonna show off my roadmap of life!!!

[Wicked Pixie]

I had to look her up on IMDB, but wow... really? Thank you!

Seriously I thought maybe you were her incognito!

[WillVZ]

The question is, Why work so hard to eat healthy, get in shape, etc. when we're never going to look good anyways?

What about feeling great? What about feeling strong? What about the massive endorphin rush you get after banging out some intense reps/run/bike class/whatever?! What about being able to walk in to a gym, bang out some pull-ups and strut your stuff like you own the place.(I don't endorse this fully, seeing how this can be looked at as a wee bit cocky, but still, you could.) Me, personally, I am a dude(no duh), but I can't help but think that everyone would like to be physically stronger/faster/more agile. Now, I'm not saying everyone wants to be jacked, but I am saying everyone would love to be able to go up a flight of stairs without being winded or heck be able to keep up with that 4 year old that's just figured out running is really fun. My advice, do what I've started doing...start exercising for fun. Find a sport or activity you love doing and center your exercise around that. Ex. I've just discovered Parkour and Rock Climbing to be, well, awesome. So, in order to climb the harder runs and walls I strength train now. I run now as well do get my cardio endurance up. It's not boring for me, and I'm not thinking about whether I'll look good or not, because being a beginner, I know I absolutely do NOT. Find a passion, and go with it. You'll be much happier, and extremely motivated.

- (One day I'll learn how to do a really cool signature but until then...) Will Van Zonneveld

[leadchipmunk]

I think you look strikingly like Jullianne Moore....

I had to look her up on IMDB, but wow... really? Thank you!

I had to look her up too, but I will agree with Wicked. I wouldn't doubt it if you were here secret identity.

[VorJoshigan]

Additionally (and to help keep The Me-Hulk at bay), I make a point of forcing myself to be a useful person every day. Things as simple as keeping the house clean, changing my own oil in the car, knowing where all my boyfriend's stuff is so I always have the answer to "Honey, have you seen my ______", and trying to be a creative cook... Ok, so I'm never going to be the head-turner most of my female friends are, but goddamnit I will be the kind of person who always has an extra juicer for life's lemons.

uh...

<looks at avatar>

<looks at sentence>

<furrows brow>

<looks at avatar>

<looks at sentence>

<shakes head side to side>

Thank goodness you're never going to be the head-turner your friends are. You're a different kind of head turner altogether (in a good way). Life would be so boring if all women looked the same, even if they all looked like Beyonce or Florence Colgate or take your pick.