Asking a Girl Out

[AlterStephen]

So there's this girl at work who has caught my eye (we've both only worked there for a couple weeks). The other day while eating lunch, she came over and sat next to me (even though we had only briefly met once a few days prior) and we had a pretty cool conversation. I'm hoping to ask her out, but I'm not exactly good at this, haha.

So, girls, what do you think? I'm thinking of taking her on a picnic, an idea which my sister seems to be emphatically in support of. Any other ideas?

[AngelaTheGeek]

Well, I would start with a lunch date outside of work, if possible. Although, she's more-than-likely interested, since she made the move to sit next to you. The picnic idea is super cute. If you can pull it off, go for it!

[Laney]

Group date first, that way if it gets weird you aren't stuck with her. Plus it's less awkward if you run out of things to talk about

[Kyla]

Drinks with some other coworkers after hours, maybe?

[rtalencar]

Coffee or a lunch date, though I'm a dude (and the first date I asked my now-wife on was an overnight trip to PA...so go figure)

[Guest Snake McClain]

Simple: You do this.

The next time you are talking and no one is around (so it isn't awkward) You smile. Be confident. Look her in the eye (not creepy like) and say, "I want to take you out for a date." Then let her respond. Simple. No pick up lines. no flash. just be brief and confident and it will either happen or it won't. Don't think too much about it. don't wait around to be sure. Just do it.

[leadchipmunk]

Simple: You do this.

The next time you are talking and no one is around (so it isn't awkward) You smile. Be confident. Look her in the eye (not creepy like) and say, "I want to take you out for a date." Then let her respond. Simple. No pick up lines. no flash. just be brief and confident and it will either happen or it won't. Don't think too much about it. don't wait around to be sure. Just do it.

This is so true I will not only second it, but I shall third it too.

Do not forget the smile

[Arashi]

Picnic idea is nice!!! A lunch date outside work, like Angela said, sounds good too. Good luck!

[Thilde]

Simple: You do this.

The next time you are talking and no one is around (so it isn't awkward) You smile. Be confident. Look her in the eye (not creepy like) and say, "I want to take you out for a date." Then let her respond. Simple. No pick up lines. no flash. just be brief and confident and it will either happen or it won't. Don't think too much about it. don't wait around to be sure. Just do it.

I agree with leadchipmunk...Snake has given such epic advice that I shall fourth and fifth his post. Best advice on asking someone out, period.

And as leadchipmunk says, don't forget the smile.

Good luck!

[smazzon1]

That idea is so cute. A guy I went out with last year did a picnic for our first date and it was a lot of fun. And, as the people above me said, be confident

[Guest Snake McClain]

oh yeah and as an additive, wait for her to answer if she wants to go with you. then YOU DECIDE the what and where. do something creative. no movies on the first date. go eat at some point...

...oh and there is sort of a trick to making someone feel like they've spent more time with you than they really have.

1st you go to get dinner. something light. not a big giant meal.

2nd you then drive somewhere for desert. like ice cream. eat the ice cream while going for a walk.

3rd then you go somewhere else (if you are 21 and older go for drinks).

this makes you both feel as if you've spent more time together than you actually have. its good for both of you. multiple shared experiences in a short amount of time. make sure to have a good conversation with open ended questions. not yes/no answerable quesitons.

things like : What's your favorite holiday? why is it your favorite holiday. etc.

[Maj. Bloodnok]

THIS.

And one other thing: LISTEN. Don't just wait for her to stop talking. (I've made that mistake many times.)

[Valiance]

Snake is a master. Do as he has said, because frankly I haven't got any better suggestions... because THERE AREN'T ANY!!!!

[concretecavewoman]

Yes, ask her, like Snake says. And on a related note:

Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them

[Guest Snake McClain]

THIS.

And one other thing: LISTEN. Don't just wait for her to stop talking. (I've made that mistake many times.)

absolutely LISTEN! listen to and CARE about what she says. If you can't do this then you have no business dating ANYONE. but i think you have that part down probably.

[Guest Snake McClain]

Yes, ask her, like Snake says. And on a related note:

Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them

great link!

[MuayTyson]

Asking a Girl Out

So there's this girl at work who has caught my eye (we've both only worked there for a couple weeks). The other day while eating lunch, she came over and sat next to me (even though we had only briefly met once a few days prior) and we had a pretty cool conversation. I'm hoping to ask her out, but I'm not exactly good at this, haha.

So, girls, what do you think? I'm thinking of taking her on a picnic, an idea which my sister seems to be emphatically in support of. Any other ideas?

Ummmm, Maybe you need to check what the company policy is on dating? I know a lot of people meet their significant others at work but it could be a bit tricky. Just a heads up before you continue.

[TheOtherScott]

Don't play the long game. Make your interest as clear as possible as soon as possible. The long game is a one-way ticket to the friend zone.

[littleblue]

I don't think I can back Snake up enough here. I know in her place I would find such an approach 1) Flattering 2) Refreshing. Remember, women love confidence.

[dshale]

Your best opportunity was when she initiated the conversation. Strike while the iron is hot or she will think you are just not interested and you will go off the radar.

[ETFnerd]

I'd go against the grain and lead with:

"Nice lips... wanna kiss?"... look her in the eyes (not creepy-like)... smile... and wait for her to respond... it works the same for me but it's more direct and lets me know right away whether she wants to go there with me... hahaha... must be willing to take rejection to take this tack, but it worked for me way back in the day.

Good luck bro... ;-)

[Rostov]

I'd go against the grain and lead with:

"Nice lips... wanna kiss?"... look her in the eyes (not creepy-like)... smile... and wait for her to respond... it works the same for me but it's more direct and lets me know right away whether she wants to go there with me... hahaha... must be willing to take rejection to take this tack, but it worked for me way back in the day.

Good luck bro... ;-)

Wow... that's a brave, brave, move, and fair play to you if you can pull that off - success or failure. Thing is, though, I don't think that's a tactic that would work for everyone (by which I mean I don't think it would work for me) or with everyone. I think the exact approach to take in asking someone out on a date depends on your culture, on your character and nature, and on that of your intended. That kind of approach would just be so far out of character for me that it would seem inauthentic at best, and probably sleazy at worst. It's not something that I'd have the charisma or the chutzpah to carry off. I'm not sure that everyone would respond well to it, either.

Mind you, I've never unambiguously asked anyone out in my entire life, and because my partner asked me before I got round to asking her, I hope never to have to. So I'm certainly no expert on this. But my own plan (never used) was to ask her if she could help me with a dilemma. The dilemma being that I wasn't sure whether I should ask her out or not. It's a bit indirect, a bit tentative, a bit.... wet, but that's the kind of person I am. And perhaps ultimately however you approach these things, it's got to be authentic.

[Arashi]

I'd go against the grain and lead with:

"Nice lips... wanna kiss?"... look her in the eyes (not creepy-like)... smile... and wait for her to respond... it works the same for me but it's more direct and lets me know right away whether she wants to go there with me... hahaha... must be willing to take rejection to take this tack, but it worked for me way back in the day.

Good luck bro... ;-)

LOL!!! Gotta say, I'd answer no. If I were in a good mood, I'd laugh at you; if not, expect a rude answer.

Agree with Athena, it's way too soon for this kind of bold approach. Sounds a bit sleazy... go with the picnic, it's way nicer.

[rtalencar]

LOL!!! Gotta say, I'd answer no. If I were in a good mood, I'd laugh at you; if not, expect a rude answer.

Agree with Athena, it's way too soon for this kind of bold approach. Sounds a bit sleazy... go with the picnic, it's way nicer.

That line totally works if you're already in a fifth of tequila (well perhaps that's just what it takes for that line to work for me...)

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

I'm a big backer of not asking girls out too soon and being friends first. It's what always worked best back in the day. There were plenty of girls I thought I liked and ended up not (romantically) after getting to know them better, or realized we didn't have enough in common for it to work. Friends first, then should you decide to date it goes so easily with a ton less pressure.