Willpower

[Korosia]

Hi all,

I've known for a while now that willpower has been a major flaw of mine. I've learnt a lot about it over the past year, but Steve's article brought about a big question that I wanted your guys opinions on (I would have put this question in the articles section but there doesn't appear to be a thread for this article).

A couple of days after reading Steve's article, I found myself in a fairly common situation. "Man, I really want chocolate" I thought to myself. "I don't have any, but I could go buy some". Now having just read Steve's article, I still had willpower in my head. "No," I thought, "I can resist the temptation. I don't have any chocolate in the house, so it won't be too difficult to do". And then this is the part that always gets me:

"Ah, but I've got to do physics work/essay/reading later. I'll need all my willpower for that. I can't waste any willpower on resisting my cravings". I then go out and buy a big packet of maltesers and eat the lot.

Which leads me to my question. As Steve said, trying to take on too many monsters at the same time will just get you killed, in the same way that trying to lift too big a weight will get you injured. But does willpower grow in the same way muscle does - by continually pushing yourself further *just* that bit further?

If I'd have resisted the malteasers and done my work, it would have cleaned out my willpower supply. But would I wake up the next day with a couple more points? Basically, should I be trying to resist as many things as possible (within my capabalities), rather than 'saving' my willpower for one important thing?

[Ghost]

I believe that willpower is a reservoir. You use it up on something, resist temptation, and the amount left goes down.

You do something you enjoy, you take a rest, go to the beach, and you refill it some.

The more you use it, the stronger it gets.

So I think that if you resist everything and deplete your reservoir you will have no willpower left for the little things.

But this strain would cause the reservoir to grow, increasing it's capacity.

But you've gotta remember, the biggest reservoir if empty is useless.

So if you had resisted, you could have woken up and fallen to some otherwise small temptation.

But that's just my view on things.

[Laureleye]

While I agree that you only have a finite amount of willpower, I believe that part of willpower is also a belief in yourself. A belief that you're strong enough to do the things that you should do when they need to be done. When you do the "right thing", you help build a new picture of yourself and you become that picture with enough repetition. I think that the reason you're asking is that you woke up the next day feeling like you'd let yourself down. But that is yesterday, and it's done. The only thing it's good for is to make you stronger (or maybe smarter) the next time. Maybe you want to run through the article again and get some robot tips to help you next time the cravings situation hits? Good luck.

[UberMoM]

I too find myself thinking about the article. I go out of the way to complete tasks will even out my pool of willpower points. For example I love swimming, so when I go to do my workout I always know that I get to go swimming at the end. Swimming laps isn't work for me it is relaxing and makes me happy so I have evened out my willpower for the exercise. I think the more you practice finding balance the more it will become a habit.

[Victoriaoke]

I think that if you resist everything and deplete your reservoir you will have no willpower left for the little things.

But this strain would cause the reservoir to grow, increasing it's capacity.

But you've gotta remember, the biggest reservoir if empty is useless.

Woah. I think you've got more than 3 wisdom points there, Ghost.

[TheSavageBean]

Buy a smaller packet of maltesers

[esteel]

Well i think your willpower IS limited but also momentum will help a lot. Steve had an article about momentum: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/09/17/maintain-momentum/

So basicly when you start using your willpower you also build momentum and then it (should) is harder to get you to stop. For example you managed to not eat malteasers for a week and i think you will find that you need a lot less willpower the next week to do the same again. And soon you could simply not even think about malteasers thus needing no willpower at all.

Or said an other way: The more bad habbits you turn down the easier it is to hang on to the good ones. I think Holism is also about this topic..

[Baenlynn]

Willpower is like a muscle.

Willpower is like a reservoir.

Willpower is also a skill.

Willpower IS like a muscle in that the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. It is also like a muscle in that you can't flex it at an Olympic level if you're just starting out with building it up.

Willpower IS like a reservoir in that it is a finite resource. You can exhaust it by using it too much too fast, you can also replenish it by doing things to recover your equilibrium. You can even increase its volume with repeated practice.

Willpower is also a skill, and this is something that is rarely covered or touched upon, but like any resource, effective management is one heck a of a force multiplier even for the smallest amounts. The common approach to the use of any mental resource is that it simply is there and is always applied directly: 'say no to chocolate' 'say no to coffee' 'go for a jog this morning'. But if we treated a physical resource (say strength) with the same level of thought and finesse with which we approach willpower, we'd put our back out whenever we bent over to lift something heavy, destroy our knees by running improperly, and have a physical meltdown by thrashing ourselves all over the shop every workout.

There's a couple of great chapters in 'the Four Hour Body' by Tim Ferriss (not required reading here, but interesting nonetheless) that go into detail on just HOW an attribute or resource can be a skill. The one that springs to mind first is the 40-yard dash training for the NFL (that's gridiron to the rest of us) bootcamp. The trainer who is the subject of this chapter, teaches prospective recruits how to shave seconds and fractions of seconds off their time, not by running faster--which is a pretty tall order for these college kids at the peak of their youth and fitness--, but by the stance they start the run in, the way they take off, and even their running stride.

Willpower is, in my experience no different.

When most people think "Say no to 'X'." What they are actually doing is saying "Say no to who I am." Because if you have a habit that you need to exert your willpower on in order to change it, then chances are pretty good that it is, in some fashion, a part of your identity. Maybe it's a comfort thing, maybe it's your gets-you-through-the-day, maybe it's just easier. In any case when you're saying no to who you are, you're picking a fight with yourself. Because if that habit is a part of who you are, then chances are, old you is going to kick and scream and fight like holy hell to hold onto it, even if it rationally knows it's the wrong thing to do. So, then you're going to need a lot more willpower just to say no to something, trivial or not.

So how how the heck do you NOT pick a fight with yourself?

Before you even start saying no to 'X' (whatever it is) figure out what the goal is. Figure out what the new you is going to look like when you can say no to 'X' every time you have a craving or get faced with temptation. Old you needs to be able to see the continuity to the new you before it will let go of the reins. Also remember to keep whatever you say to yourself affirmative and future-focussed: 'I'm saying no to this because I'm becoming healthier/stronger/better/more focussed.' Not: 'If I don't say no to this I'll never be fit/thin/strong/etc.' Now either one will help, but positive self talk gets positive results faster, while negative self talk gets negative results faster. Above all, every time you falter, don't get down on yourself.

Another good technique (it's essential in my book) is to maintain a mindfullness of your goal self (IMPORTANT: NOT your current state of affairs, NOT how worried you are about the temptation to say yes to 'X', it's not about 'X' at all it's about the new you, not the old one). Every time you remember, think about the person you're becoming, and the (positive) whys and hows of how it is going to happen. This also helps accelerate the formation of new habits because One: you're focussed on the new habit and don't have to wait for the old one to rear its head. and Two: you don't have to tempt yourself to flex your willpower, you're not even USING your willpower, you're remembering why you need to use it, preparing yourself for when you do. You're also getting Old you on-side by letting them know that they're not going to cease to be, they will actually become better, faster and stronger and 100% more badass and become the new you by doing nothing more than saying no to 'X'. What could be simpler?

Now it may take a little longer with saying no to chocolate, but I taught myself to belly breathe this way a decade ago, and it became instinctive within a week. I also used this same method to give up sodas and I'm now at 7 days and counting.

This is Mental Judo: using a minimum of resource to maximum effect