yoga rebel ready to punch depression in the face

[magnanimo]

Hi ya'll,

I have been reading the NF blog for a long time, and I never thought I'd be posting on the forums.

Why I'm here: I struggle with anxiety and depression that are pretty resistant to medications, and I have finally come to terms with the fact that therapy & exercise are the key tools in fighting this battle. I am joining for accountability and to learn more to arm myself in this personal fight.

My story in short: I grew up playing sports and I was a serious dancer (ballet/jazz, mostly) from ages 6-22. In college, I never scheduled a work out -- I followed my passion and just danced 4-6 hours, 6 days a week, and I didn't need to hit the gym and run on the elliptical ever. I am 5'7" and my college weight was about 125-130 pounds of lanky, dancer muscle.

After graduating college, I stopped dancing (I had many excuses, none of them good) and the sedentary, office-worker lifestyle consumed me. The life change of graduating from college added to my anxiety, and I kept changing my meds to find one that would do something. I finally found one that was quite effective, but my weight shot up to 173 pounds with high cholesterol to boot, at age 26. I knew I needed to make some lifestyle changes, but I also stopped (with a doctor's supervision) taking the culprit medication last January, and I lost 15-20 pounds without consciously changing my diet and without working out.

I recently finished grad school (woo!) and started going through another bad bout of mental health and I am freakin' fed up with it. A lightbulb went off in my head this fall: "You know, I was depressed in college when I was dancing, but it was way less severe. Maybe I should try that again..." And so, I started doing daily Bikram yoga about 6 weeks ago, and the ninety minute class in the hot room, using my own body weight to gain strength and flexibility, has been a phenomenal, life-changing experience. I rocked and went to 24 classes in October. I am pleased with my weight at the moment (143), and I shed 2 inches off my waist and some off other areas without my weight going down at all last month. I am starting to get as ripped as I was as a ballerina. I'm starting to see ab and bicep definition, my legs are strong as hell, etc.

But I want more.....and I need this to stick....

I am joining NF to keep me accountable to this lifestyle change I have made; it is really important that I stick with this FOR LIFE. Additionally, I find myself often getting weak and lightheaded in class, and I suspect that a lot of this is due to my lack of knowledge about nutrition and what my body needs. The yoga has corrected some of my bad eating habits (you really can't go to a 105F/40% humidity class for 90 minutes with a stomach full of pizza...yes I've tried...), but I am mostly clueless about how to feed my body what it needs to get the most out of my workouts. The Paleo diet appeals to me greatly, after reading tons of NF blog and Mark's Daily Apple, and I am ready to kick things up a notch and level up my effing life and keep it up there.

Tears are running down my face as I type this post. I am so excited to join you all, you are so inspirational.

--Magnanimo

[Laureleye]

I also joined to dig my self out of a black hole. I cannot tell you how much better I feel. Doesn't it just make you mad that doctors push a pill and don't push getting active instead? I'm glad you found us and hope you keep feeling good, better, best. We're excited that you joined.

[captncid]

I must say I am impressed! I have been intimidated with doing Bikram yoga and now I just may take one of my friends up on the offer to go.

Welcome to the rebellion! Glad to have you!