Geeky UK lass, 259lb, seeks her old shape, 147lb!

[OurMrsCastle]

Hi all, I think this site is the best Christmas present I have ever got. I found it through searching 'Paleo diet' on Google and it sounded fun. I'm a proud geek/nerd who wants to improve her health and get fit.

I am very overweight, as my doctor never tires of saying I am 'obese', and have been so since I started emotional eating which led to bulimia, after my dad died in 1998. I am a 5 ft 10 proud nerd/geek female LARPer from the UK, and I currently weigh 259 lb. My current vital stats are 46-42-51. I used to be 147 lb with stats of 40-29-40, and I want to be that again. I have taken pictures of 'me now' and 'me at my best' because it makes me feel accountable, and I need to be accountable - I have done this to my body, nobody else has done it. My navel is a line, rather than a hole, because I am obese. I know this sounds a little stupid, but it seriously bothers me and I need to change it. Please do not worry that I have mentioned eating disorders. I have got over bulimia, and I am working with my psych by email as I cannot currently afford to see him, but I still suffer from emotional eating. I believe that through working with my psych mentally and working on NerdFitness plans physically I will be able to bring my health levels up and kick emotional eating's ass like it's Andrew Ryan.

I have gone through an absolute arse of a year and a half, including (I shall try not to TMI you) breaking up with my long term partner/best friend, having to move house, having continuing emotional eating and self harm issues, losing my job as manager of a physio clinic thus losing the means to pay for my psychologist, and the guilt of having brought it all on myself. I then gained a job as a doctor's PA, saw my psych twice, then lost that job when the doctor's clinic closed. I haven't worked since October which I hate, but then I worry that emotionally I wouldn't be able to hold down a job. I'm also a writer and singer, but I have barely written or sung a damn word since July 2011, when this all started. Yep, an absolute arse of a year and a half! I have no job still, and the work in London is lousy right now. I have had a career in healthcare, but my qualifications and passions are all arts based. I feel stuck in healthcare and am struggling to get a job in the arts. This is not something that I feel NerdFitness can help with per se, but if I feel better and healthier, I might feel good enough about myself to volunteer in a theatre or that my sleep pattern might be stabilised enough and my energy levels strong enough to do more arts stuff.

I have dieted and dieted over time and only ever lost up to a stone. I have not exercised really. I have done Weight Watchers and found they were focused on losing weight and not gaining health. I do not want to eat 'low fat' (aka, IMO, low taste) ready meals and that kind of crap, and that was what was pushed at my meetings. I have also done Slimming World and found it caused me to eat more. Portion control is something I really want to learn to stick to, but being hungry makes me obsessive so I need to find a healthy balance. My sleep pattern is screwed, and my psych says I have also thrown my metabolism off by eating badly. For the past six or so months, I have not eaten at all during the day, other than coffee, and then at night I devour pasta with cheese and bottled tomato and olive sauce. Not good. My diet is shot at, and I want to improve it. I have been hearing such good things about Paleo and Primal that I really want to try it.

My hair is very thin and fine, which bothers me a LOT as I used to have wonderfully thick hair, and my nails are peeling and flaky. I have had bloodwork done and my thyroid etc is fine so I know it is diet related - there is no way I get enough protein in my diet. I have some protein shake powder to mix with water, but I was frightened of putting weight on. It is PhD Whey Powder, I don't know if anyone on here uses that brand.

I love pinup and rockabilly style but have felt like I can't wear that 'look' due to my size and shape. I want so many new tattoos and piercings, but I am loath to get them, because I want a body that is worth decorating and showing off. Not showing off so that other people tell me how amazing I look, but showing off so that I feel good about it when I look in a mirror. So I am putting off looking 'how I want', because my body needs a lot of fitness/health work and I want to feel like a badass, I'd rather be a Han(nah) Solo than a Jabba!

I'm now exploring how to do the Paleo diet, which a couple of my US friends already do. I aim to start on the 80/20 plan first, which my psychologist has advocated. The last thing I want to do is obsess in an UNhealthy way or I will end up making a Death Star out of cake and falling into it with my mouth open.

I started a Facebook group called 'Operation Boudicca, one woman's quest to look like a Warrior Queen' but I have fallen off the wagon. Many people joined it and I feel that by not posting I have let them down. I've started a blog for Operation Boudicca on Jan 1st to track my progress with photos, blogposts about my health/fitness, and my first month of Paleo.

I'm reading the ass off this site and getting inspired by people like Joe, Saint, and Spezzy. I'm interested to know if there are other women here who've dropped a LOT of weight - Spezzy has done amazing things for her body, but even in her before pictures I am thinking 'man I am so much bigger than she is.' I know, I shouldn't compare myself to other people.

I am a member of a gym which is 10-15 min walk away. I just now need to make myself GO THERE. It also has a pool (I love to swim). I have been reading NerdFitness since about 9pm UK time here on Christmas eve. I am so grateful to have found this site. I can't wait to get my shirt and start getting fitter.

I've read GoodDoug's and Lydieboo's advice on here http://www.nerdfitness.com/community/showthread.php?21736-having-trouble-with-self-control which I think is going to be really helpful. As similarly advised here I'm going to start each day with 10 squats - it's a small start but it's something I can do.

Thanks for reading, sorry it was so long but I'm a high bard as well as a Druid/Ranger!

[NurseBrandy]

Great to meet you! I too am in healthcare, an RN, going to school to become a nurse practioner. I love tattoos and want more but also feel the same as you about my body. If you need any support I'm here for you! Getting healthy is a mindset that just takes commitment and patience! I have faith we can do it!! Good luck to you and I know that once you start eating healthy you will feel like a million bucks!

Brandy

[Tricia]

Welcome! I am new as well, and I certainly empthasize with much of your story. Best of luck on your journey!

[Warfighter]

Wow, just wow! What a terrific saga that has driven you here my dear! I wish we were neighbors, I would love to help you reach your goals. Sadly, I am in Germany - I guess it's not too far away though hehe. Well, you have already taken the first steps to being successful on your quest! What you are likely going to face now is a fire hose of information. You are going to have to sort through it, ideally with someone who is knowledgeable on fitness, and find a path that works for you. If you need someone to bounce fitness/training ideas off of I am here. I have been active and fit since high school, and I know I struggle with over eating occasionally. I do not think anyone would disagree with me when I say that eating/fueling right is HARDER than getting your ass in to the gym.

[Laureleye]

I'm a WW member, and the quality varies widely from meeting to meeting and leader to leader. I've never had an eating disorder, but I am hypothyroid, and an odd side-effect of that was messed-up hungry/full signals - so I never really knew when I needed to eat. What I did while I was getting my health back together was broke my day up into 4 sections and tried to eat a specific amount of WW points (or calories) in each section of my day. I also tried to eat some healthy fats + carbs + proteins for all my meals and snacks - concentrating on fruits and vegetables for the bulk of my carbs. I eat primal within my WW points, so it can be done if you find that method of tracking works for you. Good luck on your battle plan. I hope we'll see you in the upcoming challenge.