"That doesn't make sense" Movie moments.

[Guest Snake McClain]

Okay so this thread will be full of spoilers and it's intended to be. So only come in and read at your own risk! I repeat THREAD WILL BE FULL OF SPOILERS SO DON'T COMPLAIN IF SOMETHING GET'S RUINED FOR YOU!!!

 

 

[Guest Snake McClain]

Okay first movie moment. I'm watching the girl with the dragon tattoo (u.s. version) and at the opening scene (like the book) Henrik Vanger (sp?) gets his yearly birthday present of a tree or flower painting or whatever...now here is the thing. He seems really offended that Hariet's killer would keep sending him these items and basically spitting in his face and taunting him. Why on earth would he keep them all these years? Why don't the police have them if he truly believes them to be evidence from the killer? Why isn't he angry and smashing them and throwing them away? I am baffled by this.

[BopGun]

nice topic, Snake!

 

One that highly, HIGHLY annoyed me was from "Wag The Dog", which probably would have been my favorite film of the '90s were it not for this. OK, we've seen Dustin Hoffman's spin doctor character concoct his machinations for an hour and 40 minutes and basically pull the country along for a wild ride, perfectly satisfied that no one in the country knows the war with Albania (I think it was Albania) was a total fabrication...

 

...and then we're supposed to believe that he's hungry for recognition and is basically a pissy, whiny little bitch because he doesn't have it for the work he's done? Dude, you knew the score when you took the job. The ending fell totally flat for me and made what would have been IMO a truly great film into merely an above-average film. I know it was 15 years ago now, but I still remember how thoroughly pissed-off at this ending I was when I saw it in a theater when I was 20.

 

Edit: and to think I almost actually loved a piece written by David Mamet, too, who is not one of my favorite people.

[BopGun]

...Henrik Vanger (sp?) gets his yearly birthday present of a tree or flower painting or whatever...now here is the thing. He seems really offended that Hariet's killer would keep sending him these items and basically spitting in his face and taunting him. Why on earth would he keep them all these years? Why don't the police have them if he truly believes them to be evidence from the killer? Why isn't he angry and smashing them and throwing them away? I am baffled by this.

 

I can't remember, as I read all three novels in the Millennium trilogy before I saw the film, but I believe that in the Dragon Tattoo novel, Henrik Vanger had an explanation for that which made sense to me at the time. Damned if I can remember what it was, though.

[Guest Snake McClain]

nice topic, Snake!

 

One that highly, HIGHLY annoyed me was from "Wag The Dog", which probably would have been my favorite film of the '90s were it not for this. OK, we've seen Dustin Hoffman's spin doctor character concoct his machinations for an hour and 40 minutes and basically pull the country along for a wild ride, perfectly satisfied that no one in the country knows the war with Albania (I think it was Albania) was a total fabrication...

 

...and then we're supposed to believe that he's hungry for recognition and is basically a pissy, whiny little bitch because he doesn't have it for the work he's done? Dude, you knew the score when you took the job. The ending fell totally flat for me and made what would have been IMO a truly great film into merely an above-average film. I know it was 15 years ago now, but I still remember how thoroughly pissed-off at this ending I was when I saw it in a theater when I was 20.

 

Edit: and to think I almost actually loved a piece written by David Mamet, too, who is not one of my favorite people.

 

i actually hasn't seen this movie. i might watch it now just so I know what you're referencing. i'd like to see if i get the same impression.

[Guest Snake McClain]

in the movie "Hancock" why is his character a super hero? He has exactly zero motivation. Obviously he isn't bored because he just drinks and screws around all the time. So what he has some great sense of good that no one can explain? I never did understand this. I know why Spider-man does spider-many things. I know why batman batmans. But hancock? No clue. I guess because he can? 

 

 

EDIT: Yet, I still find myself watching this crappy movie at least once a year. 

[Katariana]

It really bothers me when something is explained in a book, and then they fail to put it in the movie. Granted, they can't follow every side plot and development, or else movies would be 8 hours long, but when you are with people in the theater who are going "Wow, that didnt make sense, this is a load of crap, why do you like this book/movie?" and you're thinking..well, the book was great and made sense, the movie just blows...yeah it sets my teeth on edge.

I know this has happened in Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, the Hunger Games (a lot of big name movies) but the only example I can think of specifically is in Harry Potter. Sirius gives Harry a two-way mirror so that he and Sirius can communicate - but then Harry decides he doesn't want to use it and tempt Sirius out of the house is book 5. Later when Sirius dies and Harry realizes he could've used the mirror to check and see if he was really imprisoned at the ministry or not, he starts blaming himself for Sirius' death. He ends up with a shard of the mirror, and later in book 7 keeps thinking he can see Dumbledore in it looking at him.

Of course, in the movies, Harry is just randomly in movies 7/8 walking around with a shard of broken glass where he keeps seeing an eye. Upon meeting Aberforth he's all "Oh! You're who I can see in the mirror!" And no one who read the books had a freakin' clue what he was talking about. Or why he blamed himself for Sirius dying so much. My husband was seriously like "Why is this kid walking around holding broken glass..? Thats a little weird..?"

If you're gonna leave out the mirror thing (or any part of a book) fine. But don't randomly throw it back into the plot without explanation like..3 movies later.

[MariahSnow]

SPOILER ALERT!!!

 

 

I know there's a big one at the end of the newest Batman. If Batman carried this nuclear bomb out to sea, how did he escape the blast radius in time? At the time, I was blubbering like a baby so I didn't think about it, but it's a pretty big issue. Also, recovering from a broken back in a primitive prison in like, 3 months? 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

That's why he's the G##$#$@# BATMAN! Actually, about the blast radius thing, he had an ejector seat in the bat copter and programmed the auto pilot to keep the thing going far enough out to avoid damage to the city. He probably dropped into the harbor pretty close to the city.  As for the back thing, Hes the BATMAN!

[Waldo]

Luke studies under Yoda to become a Jedi in the time it takes Han, Chewy, and Leia to park on an asteroid a bit to try to make some fixes to the Falcon, then fly to Bespin.

 

Yes this can be explained away with some really, really long flying time (space is quite large afterall), but, it doesn't seem but a couple days at most.

[minderly]

Luke studies under Yoda to become a Jedi in the time it takes Han, Chewy, and Leia to park on an asteroid a bit to try to make some fixes to the Falcon, then fly to Bespin.

 

Yes this can be explained away with some really, really long flying time (space is quite large afterall), but, it doesn't seem but a couple days at most.

ya and all the other jedi start young...and takes years to learn

[MariahSnow]

Luke studies under Yoda to become a Jedi in the time it takes Han, Chewy, and Leia to park on an asteroid a bit to try to make some fixes to the Falcon, then fly to Bespin.

 

Yes this can be explained away with some really, really long flying time (space is quite large afterall), but, it doesn't seem but a couple days at most.

 

This always bothered me about most underdog movies. Even Daniel-son from Karate Kid like built a deck in a few weeks and then somehow kicked some Cobra Kai ass. 

[Guest Snake McClain]

batman - Honestly I have no idea how he lived. I'm not sure he could have to tell you the truth. A nuclear blast in the air has been proven to be much more devastating than on the ground. So on that even if he ejected...nope. still dead. We see him flying the thing. It makes no sense. So i think he HAS to be dead and the very last scene we get where Alfred sees bruce and selina in paris or wherever is actually just him wishing he could see them again. just imagining it. His reaction to seeing bruce there when compared to the death of bruce makes zero sense at all. I think he has to be dead. about his back...maybe it wasn't broken. it could have just been a dislodged disc or something??

 

Luke - yeaaaaaah. The only argument you could make is that luke actually was NOT a jedi yet. in fact i'm pretty sure yoda tells him to stay and NOT battle vader because he wasn't ready and hadn't finished his training. in return of the jedi he is full jedi at that point and some time had passed for sure. so....yeah i'm going to say he wasn't a jedi yet.

 

karate kid - there is no explanation for this at all. You simply cannot learn the technique and power needed to beat an entire team of individuals who have been training for years like the cobra kai team did in a matter of months. you just cannot do it. What with one feathery punch daniel takes the trophy and respect? nope. still an awesome movie and i watch it regularly.

[I-Jo]

Holy schmoly- this topic.... win.  I absolutely can't stand crap like that.

 

Batman: WHO THE FLIUDFOUIDLKJFLKSJDFLKSJ_)&(*&$(%R punches someone's  (presumably) broken back to fix it.  ARE YOU DSL:KJFSLD:KJF)*&SDEF KIDDING ME.

 

War Horse.  ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME_ if only talking to a horse was the way to teach it to do crap- my god man- I could have been the horse whisperer!  20 years I've been working with horses- and WHO KNEW- you only needed to plead with them a little to get them to do what you want!  Man- Speilburg is a @#$#ing genius  <epic facepalm>

 

> horses getting wrapped up in barb wire- do not come out shiny and pretty -they come out laced to ribbons and bleeding like a sponge.

> Thoroughbred's- would our run a Frisian under any circumstances- not even a "close call"

> Farm animals are also not shiny and well groomed- they maybe clean- but they certainly aren't polished to a T.  

 

 

Hunger Games.  Oh sweet baby jesus- where to start.  That movie was beyond tragic- no idea how people liked it since it was so catastrophically unexplainable. 

 

I have deep seated issues with movies that make no sense- which is most of all movies produced today.  

[MariahSnow]

The issue with Hunger Games is that, like Katariana mentioned, it's adapted from a book. The movie made perfect sense to me because I was filling in the blanks with info I knew from the books. They need like a test audience of people who aren't super fans to see if they understand what's going on without having read the books. 

 

Speaking of horses in movies... I was watching Braveheart the other day and he jumps out of a tower and the horse is like clearly a dummy. And it's this long extended falling scene and him hitting the water and the splash after and this crappy looking horse dummy is floating around. I'm not saying there needs to be a live horse jumping out of the tower, but there's got to be another way to make it not look so crappy.

[I-Jo]

They've adapted many movies from books- that's simply NOT an excuse.

 

The movie needs to stand alone- it's not an excuse to say "it was adapted from a book" so it's okay. (what annoys me more so is that everyone RAVED about the movie- I'm so excited I didn't pay to watch that piece of crap movie- it was infuriatingly dumb)

 

Count of Monty Cristo (and the Man in the Iron Mask- specifically the Leonardo DiCaprio one) was made into a movie- from a book... and it stood alone on it's own.  It wasn't as rich as the book sure- but the book was incredible complex- but it made sense (least as far as I can remember at this point) and it wasn't fully of ridiculous gaps. 

 

I refuse to accept that as an excuse for shitty screen writing. Both versions of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo were acceptable adaptations as well. (I've seen both versions and read all the books) movie first- book then the American movie.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

This is stretching way back. In the Transformers Animated Movie from the 80's, the Decepticons break into an Autobot Shuttle headed to Earth to get past the Early Warning Systems and launch a sneak attack.  What I never understood was why didn't the shuttle itslef have an EWS?

[Guest Snake McClain]

This is stretching way back. In the Transformers Animated Movie from the 80's, the Decepticons break into an Autobot Shuttle headed to Earth to get past the Early Warning Systems and launch a sneak attack. What I never understood was why didn't the shuttle itslef have an EWS?

I actually remember this

[UberTumbleweed]

This is stretching way back. In the Transformers Animated Movie from the 80's, the Decepticons break into an Autobot Shuttle headed to Earth to get past the Early Warning Systems and launch a sneak attack.  What I never understood was why didn't the shuttle itslef have an EWS?

I read this out to my mom and she said, "I KNOW. YOU TOLD ME. TWICE EVERY DAY FOR FIVE MONTHS WHEN YOU WERE SIX. I KNOW ALREADY. INTRUDER ALERT."

Well, the Enterprise-D had one! Clearly I thought it was something all spaceships should have.

 

Luke - yeaaaaaah. The only argument you could make is that luke actually was NOT a jedi yet. in fact i'm pretty sure yoda tells him to stay and NOT battle vader because he wasn't ready and hadn't finished his training. in return of the jedi he is full jedi at that point and some time had passed for sure. so....yeah i'm going to say he wasn't a jedi yet.

It was only 6-12 months between the movies, though. Everyone's all shocked that Obi-wan was getting promoted to Knight at 18 years old, and yet Luke manages it all in a year. What the hell did they waste all their time doing at the Jedi Temple?! I'm not even convinced all the stuff Luke learns in the EU after RotJ would take up that much time.

I love you, Star Wars, but this is a total 12 parsecs moment.

[Georges]

Luke studies under Yoda to become a Jedi in the time it takes Han, Chewy, and Leia to park on an asteroid a bit to try to make some fixes to the Falcon, then fly to Bespin.

 

Yes this can be explained away with some really, really long flying time (space is quite large afterall), but, it doesn't seem but a couple days at most.

Hah! As if montages hadn't already given me unrealistic expectations for my progress, George Lucas had to poison my still-developing-child-mind with that!

[JB 2.0]

That's why he's the G##$#$@# BATMAN! Actually, about the blast radius thing, he had an ejector seat in the bat copter and programmed the auto pilot to keep the thing going far enough out to avoid damage to the city. He probably dropped into the harbor pretty close to the city.  As for the back thing, Hes the BATMAN!

So then....when people complain about a pain/injury, I *shouldn't* punch them in the owie and yell "BAT MEDICINE!" ??

[I-Jo]

The Hobbit.

 

Pretty much nothing made sense to me in that movie- it was awful.  

 

<zipsflamesuituptight>

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

So then....when people complain about a pain/injury, I *shouldn't* punch them in the owie and yell "BAT MEDICINE!" ??

Correct, unless, that is, they are orphan billionares in an obscure prison in the third world having been placed there by an obvious supervillan

[Artinum]

The Hobbit.

 

Pretty much nothing made sense to me in that movie- it was awful.  

 

<zipsflamesuituptight>

 

What pains me is that we're only one third of the way into a book I could read in half the time. And:

http://www.cracked.com/article_20315_if-hobbit-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

[DeeDubb]

I was SO LIVID when I saw that horrendous GI Movie, at the end, when they blow up the icebergs, which then SINK TO THE BOTTOM TO CRUSH THE BASE... 

 

I'm so mad about this one... The glacier floats just fine, but then it's broken into smaller pieces and they suddenly sink. How did that one sneak through the filters? HAVE THEY EVER HAD ICE IN THEIR DRINKS?

 

That's probably the most angry I've been watching a movie... and I guess I'm still mad about it.