Hi, I'm Vanetti, and I'm new.

[vanetti]

Hello, everyone!  My name is Vanetti (not really, but let's go with it for now).  Here is my story, from as close to the beginning as necessary, up until right now.

 

 

I am 29, female, and 5'5" tall.  When I was in high school, I weighed 118 lbs and on the wrestling team.  Over the course of ten years, just gained and gained and gained.  There were a number of reasons why - I drank a lot, I quit smoking so I ate a lot, had a sedentary job, got older... In the beginning, I was actually quite thrilled with my weight gain, because at 118 lbs, I was just too small.  So when I got to around 135 lbs, I was very pleased with myself.  But the weight gain didn't stop.  It just kept going.  By the time I was 27, I was 195 lbs.

 

I didn't take my full length mirror with me when I moved.  I didn't have to acknowledge that I was getting larger because my larger sister gave me her hand me downs, and thus I didn't have the label shock of shame at a retail store.  I just ignored it and hoped that it would go away.  

 

My best friend in the entire world lives in CO, and I live in TX.  I didn't visit her for two years because I kept telling myself that I needed to lose weight first.  She surprised me on my 29th birthday last July by coming to visit, and I was so ashamed of how I looked that I couldn't even enjoy her company.  I hated everything that I ate, I hated myself, and I hated it when anyone looked at me.  I was just so ashamed.

 

On Labor Day, a guy called me fat on Yelp.  It was the first time that anyone has ever called me fat (to my knowledge).  It put a mirror up that I could no longer ignore.  It wasn't just that I was fat.  It was that I got winded walking to my car.  It was that I felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't stand photos being taken, or indeed, for anyone to look at or talk to me.  I sat on the bed and sobbed for about an hour.  The next morning, I got on the elliptical.  A week later, I started couch to 5k.

 

When I started W1D1 of couch to 5k, I couldn't finish the day.  I couldn't run for 60 seconds eight times in a row.  I got through six intervals before I had to go home.  I sat on the couch and cried and cried because I was so fat, and so out of shape, and I felt so defeated - and I HURT.  

 

I took my rest day, brushed myself off, and did W1D2.  I was able to finish the intervals, but it sucked.

 

I am currently in the bridge to 10k, starting week 3 on Monday.  I can currently run for 45 minutes without stopping. I am still very slow, but my time is improving. I've lost 22 lbs, and I feel incredible.  I eat clean, using MyFitnessPal to log food and exercise. If someone had told me five months ago that I could do this, I would not have believed them.  I don't know what my "goal" is.  I just want to be a healthy, happy person.  Currently, my self esteem is already higher than it was when I was 30 lbs lighter!

 

I read the Nerd Fitness post about "20 seconds of courage" at around noon on the day that it was posted. At around 2 PM, my boyfriend (who has been an endless source of inspiration and support for me) decided that he wanted to go with his best friend and try to do the Gut Check Challenge (http://www.gutcheckchallenge.com/).  I was completely gutted.  I felt like I couldn't do any of that stuff, and I felt like I was getting left behind, and I sat at my desk and cried a little because I felt like I hadn't made enough progress, hadn't done enough, wasn't good enough.

 

Something inside of my brain either snapped, or a light bulb came on, not sure which.  But I took a deep breath, and I grasped at 20 seconds of courage, and registered for the Gut Check.  I'm terrified of what it'll be like, but I have a team of people with me from work, and they say that I'm going to do great. We've been training together, and I can't wait to see what will happen.

 

Well, that's me so far.  Thanks for reading.  I'm really glad to be here.

[Laureleye]

You've already started a great turn-around, so I'm sure you're going to do great.  Welcome to the rebellion.