Scared Of Weight Lifting And Weight Gain

[reboundstudent]

I DO eat real food. I give up, because no matter what I do, I still don't lose weight. If I go through all of this effort of eating good, real good and exercising, and I'm STILL not doing it right.... I STILL have to do this, and this, and this, in order to lose weight.... ugh, I just give up, I'll just be fat. Life is too short to spend so much time obsessing, weighing and analyzing calories in/calories out... Just READING your guys' logs of food ("Well today is a training day, so I can only have a banana, and I feel so guilty about having a protein shake...") is exhausting. 

 

I want to be healthy, but I also want to have a life outside of food and exercise. If I have to try so damn hard, when I have been trying and not seeing any results, what's the point?

[cline]

Yeah it's the honesty thing. I have to watch carbs. I do really well and feel really great on a very low carb diet. I'm very happy there. I could stay there. But I want to gain a lot of lean muscle wo fat gain. Well, muscles need glycogen so there you go. I have to switch up my diet and I have to deal with it. And it's hard. And people here are helping me.

And yeah, I worry about eating fruit on days I don't do heavy work bc fruit = dessert.

Do I worry about all my protein or veg? Never, not once. I do watch fruit and other carbs bc I'm honestly at my best there. So I'm working w my trainer on a plan to get me what I want. It's a choice I made.

How can we help you? What would you like us to say? What would support you?

[I-Jo]

I feel like there is something else going on here.

You asked specific questions and got a universal answer across the board. I'm not sure what answer you were looking for but the reality is you have three pages of solid experience. .. probably combined hundreds of years of knowledge and you don't want to hear it.

If you aren't ready to make the changes for yourself that's fine. You don't need to justify your decisions to others. But its not some magical secret. We are giving you the tools to get out done.

This is how people take control and get it done. Improving your body is boring... its boring because there is no secret. No magical trick. Just hard consistent dedicated and paying attention to what you put in your body.

And no. I'm not trying to be a bitch. I'm just thinking there is something else going on because what's going on doesn't make sense.

[Irish Oisin]

I think the food logs are a bit obsessive and can lead to an unhealthy attitude towards food.

 

Everything is about balance. You have some good advice coming your way on this thread, so don't give up, just give it some time and then come at it with a positive attitude. If you think you're going to fail, then you'll fail.

[I-Jo]

Of course it *can* but it doesn't have to. I can die by driving erraticly with my phone in hands not watching where I'm going. .. but I'm responsible and watch what I'm doing.

But what she isn't doing isn't working. She had to change something and monitoring what you eat is the most objective way to do it. insanity. ... doing the same thing over send over and over and expecting different results.

It literally will drive you mad.was

[seed]

You sound so stressed take a load off then come back in a day or two. 

Hang out with some friends do stuff you enjoy doing, keep your mind of this stuff for a little bit.

It took me a long time to fully commit to training and diet, it all comes with timing and when i say commit i mean it'll just feel more natural to eat the things you need and train the way you should.

 

Im still very new to all this but there is a lot of good info here posted from others.

[Elastigirl]

I understand your hate of food logs and getting track. I feel the same way.  I did it at the beginning for about 4-6 weeks to give me an idea. And then  I did it a little later for about 2 weeks when I upped my carbs but didn't want  too much. One of the things that attracted me to Paleo was that not counting idea.

 

Honestly, you are healthy . However, you did ask what you could do because you were worried about weight gain. These people here have told you how they did it. Like I said, I am  like you and hate the fuss of tracking. Cut back on nuts, fruits, and keep your carbs under 150 grams and see what happens. Yes, you do have to either have tracked food enough to approximate (approx. is the key here) your calories or now keep track. But just keep track long enough until you know about how many carbs are in something

[reboundstudent]

What's frustrating is I HAVE tracked my foods. I did it for 3 months. I did it again in January, and dropped it after a month because it was so frustrating, and I got sick of trying to measure everything. So even while tracking my food, and working out, I still gained weight. Even when I was eating under 1500 calories (under 1200 in some cases), I was still maintaining or gaining weight. 

 

I already feel like I pour SO much of my life into this stuff. I spend hours looking up recipes, hours shopping and cooking, hours at the gym... it feels like I barely have time for anything else. This would be okay if it actually DID anything, but all that's happening is I'm getting fatter. I thought maybe it was muscle, but according to this thread, it's not. Which means I'm pouring all of this effort and time and making myself miserable over something that isn't even working, and yet the advice I'm getting is to do it more.

 

I am already doing, or have done, those things advised, and I'm still fat. THAT'S why I'm frustrated, and why I just feel like giving up. If the only solution to losing weight is to spend my time agonizing over calories and weighing everything, if the exercise I'm doing still isn't enough.... I wonder if I wouldn't rather be happy, and at least have time for other things I want to do. 

[kyo]

Tracking your food does not mean you have to track it forever.  Does this mean you can't eat whatever you want?  No.

 

Science is science.  You want to lose weight like you've asked?  Then take the time to learn how the numbers work first.

[kyo]

What were you eating while you were tracking it?

What exercises were you doing while tracking it?

[Elastigirl]

What's frustrating is I HAVE tracked my foods. I did it for 3 months. I did it again in January, and dropped it after a month because it was so frustrating, and I got sick of trying to measure everything. So even while tracking my food, and working out, I still gained weight. Even when I was eating under 1500 calories (under 1200 in some cases), I was still maintaining or gaining weight. 

 

I already feel like I pour SO much of my life into this stuff. I spend hours looking up recipes, hours shopping and cooking, hours at the gym... it feels like I barely have time for anything else. This would be okay if it actually DID anything, but all that's happening is I'm getting fatter. I thought maybe it was muscle, but according to this thread, it's not. Which means I'm pouring all of this effort and time and making myself miserable over something that isn't even working, and yet the advice I'm getting is to do it more.

 

I am already doing, or have done, those things advised, and I'm still fat. THAT'S why I'm frustrated, and why I just feel like giving up. If the only solution to losing weight is to spend my time agonizing over calories and weighing everything, if the exercise I'm doing still isn't enough.... I wonder if I wouldn't rather be happy, and at least have time for other things I want to do. 

You probably did gain at least some muscle. Don't lose hope. Honestly you are at a fine weight. But you want to lose for the insurance.  From Marksdailyapple.com - I would foucs more on less carbs than less calories. Were you keeping it under 150 carbs when you were gaining? What was your fruit consumption like?  And yea, stressing  it about can make you fatter. Maybe your best soltion is to just keep eating healthy and then for insurance see if you can get an exemption . How much do you have to lose for the insurance.

[terrormortus]

I haven't read every post in this but from the sounds of things you've been putting in one hell of an effort. So if you're eating right, exercising, etc, etc, then it's probably time to look outside the box. 

 

To be utterly honest, and taking into consideration that I know you as a block of text, it seems like you're stressed out and nearly if not past your limit. So my personal suggestion, f*** everything for a day or two. Go have fun with friends, read a book, watch tv, etc. Put dieting and exercise out of your mind  for a little while.

 

Then come back and look at all the stuff you do to lose weight. If you don't like counting calories, don't do it. Hate running? Don't do a ton of cardio. You've probably already tried a bunch of different things to lose weight. Look back on them and think of the ones that seemed to work a little but more importantly ones that you actually enjoyed or at least could stand.

 

Losing weight, getting in shape, getting a nice house, and every other thing we aspire to do is in pursuit of happiness. If you're unhappy with your workout then why bother doing it. If you're current diet doesn't let you eat anything you want then stop following it.

 

So basically, find a way of losing weight and getting in shape that you actually like. My two cents.\

[guest439437484421]

...a different train of thought.  if you were eating well, working out, but still gained significant weight... maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to get a doctor's opinion?

[cline]

What's frustrating is I HAVE tracked my foods. I did it for 3 months. I did it again in January, and dropped it after a month because it was so frustrating, and I got sick of trying to measure everything. So even while tracking my food, and working out, I still gained weight. Even when I was eating under 1500 calories (under 1200 in some cases), I was still maintaining or gaining weight. 

 

 

I tracked for the first few months.  Getting enough fat in my diet was a concern b/c I was so used to the SAD.  I also was curious more than anything about protein which was lower than desired) and carbs <- which I am really lucky to be able to control easily.  I did all the math and figured out all my macros and tracked.  I  actually found it fascinating and enjoyed it. 

 

fyi - I tracked more by journaling food and guesstimating how much I ate.  I cook so I have a good sense of what equals a cup, a couple of ounces, etc. so I  ballparked it.  It worked really well.  Then, I stopped estimating portions and just journaled what I ate and then I stopped that as well when I had it all figured out  and totally understood.  My spousal unit never tracked and did just fine.  He also lost about 50lbs. 

 

Today, I track mentally.  I do multiple mental check ins through out the day.  Did I eat enough protein at breakfast?  Did I pack the right kind of "oh shit my stomach is growling" snack?  If it's protein/carb powder day, did I pack it?  Just mental check ins.  I almost never measure anything (even when I cook) and I don't track in a log.  My weight has been stable for months.  And yeah, I do cheat meals now and then.  ;-)  I don't worry about it.

 

Under 1200 calories is not a good idea. Under 1500 also not good, especially if you are exercising.  What comprises your calories?  It took many of us quite a while to really get the fact that it's less about calories and more about the type of food.  If you are still eating a SAD diet and struggling with weight loss, you might just need a tweak.  For example, a woman I know who is quite small still had a little jiggly belly.  Why?  She ate well most of the time but clung to eating a lot of fruit  in the a.m. so she was just carbing all morning and never really filling her belly well (no protein, no fat).  She cut back on the fruit (and the beer she was drinking) and the belly started looking better.  It wasn't about counting calories, just tweaking.

 

I already feel like I pour SO much of my life into this stuff. I spend hours looking up recipes, hours shopping and cooking, hours at the gym... it feels like I barely have time for anything else. This would be okay if it actually DID anything, but all that's happening is I'm getting fatter. I thought maybe it was muscle, but according to this thread, it's not. Which means I'm pouring all of this effort and time and making myself miserable over something that isn't even working, and yet the advice I'm getting is to do it more.

 

I am already doing, or have done, those things advised, and I'm still fat. THAT'S why I'm frustrated, and why I just feel like giving up. If the only solution to losing weight is to spend my time agonizing over calories and weighing everything, if the exercise I'm doing still isn't enough.... I wonder if I wouldn't rather be happy, and at least have time for other things I want to do. 

 

I'll start with the last part first:  exercise will change your body but it's not really the key to weight loss.  Weight loss is 80% what you eat, 20% moving around.  I highly recommend reading Mark Sissan's Primal Blueprint or his web site Mark's Daily Apple.  It's filled with this stuff and everything you might want to know.  Including all sorts of stories about people doing minimal exercise but still getting healthy.  There are oodles of people out there who simply take long walks, do relaxing yoga, etc. and still lose weight. 

 

If you are spending hours and hours on this - you need to stop (like others suggested).  Obsessing about something and adding that stress in will prevent weight loss.

 

I spend about 1 hour/week shopping.  I have a basic list and I rarely deviate from it.  I spend more time at the meat counter to ensure I get different types of meat and fish, but can zip in and out of the store buying groceries for 2 people for 1 week in 1 hour max.  And I waste time there.  And yeah, I cook and no I rarely eat the same meals over and over again. 

 

I spend about 1 hour/day cooking - breakfast and dinner.  I eat leftovers or quick meals (can of tuna) for lunch.  While I'm eating dinner, I often have something in the oven for the next day.  An hour a day cooking is pretty normal or even a bit light.  For example, buffalo chilli took me 15 mins to make and I let it simmer for another 20 mins (but could walk away from the pan).  During that 20 mins, I prepped another meal and tossed it in the oven to cook while I ate. 

 

I spend 1-2 hours a day working out.  Now this needs some clarification.  When I started on weight loss, I spent 1 hour/day about 5 days a week at the gym or training.  Turned out I fell in love with it and would spend as much time as I could doing it.  It became a hobby and a passion.  So, I bumped it up.  My spousal unit works out only 5 hrs/week.  Bam!  And he looks fantastic.  I worked out only 1 hour yesterday and will only do 1 hour today.  I'll probably do 1.5 tomorrow b/c I want to work with a certain coach (I just took up a new sport - for FUN!) before my class and on Sunday, I'm only running 5-6 mi so that's what? 40 mins?  That will be it. 

 

It sounds to me like there is a lot of stress going on here and the diet/exercise thing has become the focus b/c you believe you can manage this and control it. You aren't getting what you want and so you are seeing this as a total failure and are quite possibly focusing so much on it that you can no longer see the forest for the trees.  I get it.  Most of us get it. 

 

We don't want to sound patronizing.  We are sorry you are so stressed and we want to help.

[Blaidd]

...a different train of thought.  if you were eating well, working out, but still gained significant weight... maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to get a doctor's opinion?

^ this

 

Also, what a lot of people don't take into account (and also don't believe) is that there's also a mental/emotional connection to losing weight too. 

 

Firstly I've worked out that you're actually petite as it is and you've said that you're still wearing the same clothes as a year ago, but you keep telling us you're fat! There's a deeper seeded issue here, something else IS going on. 

 

Secondly, I do trauma counselling and i can honestly tell you that as people let go of emotional issues, the better things start getting everywhere else. But don't take my word for it, there's no scientific study to back me up etc (that i know of) and i only have personal experience.

 

Thirdly, I have been with NF for almost a year, i've gotten stronger, fitter, faster and healthier and my weight hasn't gone anywhere.  I am just not willing to give up because of it.  I just keep sticking to it and getting stronger and trying something else.  After a mini meltdown last week (and choosing to let go), bam! minus 3kg!!!

 

Corey also has a VERY valid point - BMI is bull!!

[cline]

^ this

 

Also, what a lot of people don't take into account (and also don't believe) is that there's also a mental/emotional connection to losing weight too. 

 

Firstly I've worked out that you're actually petite as it is and you've said that you're still wearing the same clothes as a year ago, but you keep telling us you're fat! There's a deeper seeded issue here, something else IS going on. 

 

Secondly, I do trauma counselling and i can honestly tell you that as people let go of emotional issues, the better things start getting everywhere else. But don't take my word for it, there's no scientific study to back me up etc (that i know of) and i only have personal experience.

 

Thirdly, I have been with NF for almost a year, i've gotten stronger, fitter, faster and healthier and my weight hasn't gone anywhere.  I am just not willing to give up because of it.  I just keep sticking to it and getting stronger and trying something else.  After a mini meltdown last week (and choosing to let go), bam! minus 3kg!!!

 

Corey also has a VERY valid point - BMI is bull!!

 

super awesome post. 

[PrincessHeather]

What's frustrating is I HAVE tracked my foods. I did it for 3 months. I did it again in January, and dropped it after a month because it was so frustrating, and I got sick of trying to measure everything. So even while tracking my food, and working out, I still gained weight. Even when I was eating under 1500 calories (under 1200 in some cases), I was still maintaining or gaining weight. 

 

I already feel like I pour SO much of my life into this stuff. I spend hours looking up recipes, hours shopping and cooking, hours at the gym... it feels like I barely have time for anything else. This would be okay if it actually DID anything, but all that's happening is I'm getting fatter. I thought maybe it was muscle, but according to this thread, it's not. Which means I'm pouring all of this effort and time and making myself miserable over something that isn't even working, and yet the advice I'm getting is to do it more.

 

I am already doing, or have done, those things advised, and I'm still fat. THAT'S why I'm frustrated, and why I just feel like giving up. If the only solution to losing weight is to spend my time agonizing over calories and weighing everything, if the exercise I'm doing still isn't enough.... I wonder if I wouldn't rather be happy, and at least have time for other things I want to do. 

 

I just read through everything on here, and I've got to say that you sound so very much like me about 2 years ago. I'm not going to parrot all the otehr wonderful advice you've gotten on tracking and specific macros and the rest, and just relay how my story has been, which might help you to start to let go a bit.

 

3 1/2 years ago on my wedding day, I weighed 109 pounds at 5'2. On my first anniversary, I weighed 135 pounds and was absolutely horrified that I had allowed myself to get "fat." The answer? Chronic cardio sessions and tracking food and calorie restriction. I ate terribly, but stuck to 1200 calories for months on end, punishing myself with elliptical or running to try to earn more calories because I was starving. I did that all for probably a year. I messed up my periods, I was cranky and angry and depressed, and malnourished because I would save up my calories for the end of the day and eat entire packages of pasta and bags of york peppermint patties. But I was sticking to my calorie goals, that all I need to do right? Through all of that, I didn't lose much, only about 5 pounds. I was miserable.

 

Then I started doing a lot of the research that you seem to have begun, learning about lifitng and paleo and making new choices. But it was a supremely tough transition. Learning to eat fat, learning to view food as something positive and not scary, learning to love what my body can do and not just how it looks. The more I learned, the more confident I was that I had been abusing myself mentally and physically and resolved to do better for myself. As I let go fo the idea that seeing 115 on the scale would make me happy, and as I gave my brain real food and fat, I started to feel better.

 

I eat primally now, not because I think it will make me lose weight, but because I believe it offers me the best chance at getting all the nutrients my body deserves and needs. I lift heavy because it makes me feel effing powerful and it's made me mentally much stronger. I still weigh about 128 pounds, but that is made up by so much more muscle than ever before, and much more importantly, I've gotten to a place where I can eat well intuitively and maintain and just be happy. It's possible, but it requires finding a way to start letting go. I now think that my body is simply happiest being between 125-130, and I've accepted that. If I continue lifting like I want to, and hitting the kind of numbers I want to someday, it's entirely possible I'll gain quite a bit of weight, and that's ok.

 

I hope that when you say you want to give up, that it means you give up on being perfect or hitting some specific number on the scale or BMI chart. I hope you don't give up on being active and eating well, and that you find a way to focus on being healthy and fit instead.

[I-Jo]

I hope that when you say you want to give up, that it means you give up on being perfect or hitting some specific number on the scale or BMI chart. I hope you don't give up on being active and eating well, and that you find a way to focus on being healthy and fit instead.

 

 

this bears quoting for awesomeness and truth.