Annoying comments you hear all the time

[samanmoran]

My husband is a couple years younger than me and he's recently started going on about how he's sooo old. Like almost 40!

I just roll my eyes at him. And occasionally suggest that he must think I'm an ancient hag.

But really he's not talking about me! He's talking about him. While I am most certainly the light of his life, I'm not the center of his universe, or THE universe for that matter. So people's comments about themselves are just that and have nothing to do with me. It's good to take yourself out of that spot once in a while. It's not about you and doesn't have to be about you.

When people tell me they think they're fat I just agree with them and ask what they intend to do about it. If they're fishing for compliments or reassurance, they won't get it here! Mostly because I dislike it when people assume that's what I'm looking for if I happen to mention it. Oh, no! you look great! Bullshit, but thanks for trying.

I generally try not to share my lower opinions of myself with people though, because it's unfair to them. Most people are nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, so they'll try to make you feel better, which forces them to be a little disingenuous.

That's different than having an honest conversation with a friend, though, or with our fellow rebels here, because we're trying to change and everyone understands that.

Sent from an alternate universe using Alien tech.

[MariahSnow]

My husband is a couple years younger than me and he's recently started going on about how he's sooo old. Like almost 40!

I just roll my eyes at him. And occasionally suggest that he must think I'm an ancient hag.

But really he's not talking about me! He's talking about him. While I am most certainly the light of his life, I'm not the center of his universe, or THE universe for that matter. So people's comments about themselves are just that and have nothing to do with me. It's good to take yourself out of that spot once in a while. It's not about you and doesn't have to be about you.

When people tell me they think they're fat I just agree with them and ask what they intend to do about it. If they're fishing for compliments or reassurance, they won't get it here! Mostly because I dislike it when people assume that's what I'm looking for if I happen to mention it. Oh, no! you look great! Bullshit, but thanks for trying.

I generally try not to share my lower opinions of myself with people though, because it's unfair to them. Most people are nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, so they'll try to make you feel better, which forces them to be a little disingenuous.

That's different than having an honest conversation with a friend, though, or with our fellow rebels here, because we're trying to change and everyone understands that.

Sent from an alternate universe using Alien tech.

 

Best. answer. ever. There are some ladies around the office who fish for compliments by saying they're fat, old, etc.  One woman recently said she could see herself getting older in photographs from year to year (btw she has a 16 year old and looks like she's barely 30, but she's 38 I think). So I said, "in photographs!? I can see you getting old every day!" It's so irrational when someone who clearly isn't <old, fat, etc> complains about it that the best answer is something just as absurd as their complaint.

[MetalNinja]

I think the problem is that the word "fat" has become equated with "ugly."  You can't just be like "I want to lose this fat around my middle" or "I've put on a little fat, thanks holiday brownies!" without people hearing, instead, "I'm so ugly!"  And of course people around you who like you don't think you're ugly, and don't want you to think you're ugly, so they go "Oh but you're not fat at all!"

 

But this is one of those wider cultural problems, like how fat = unhealthy and skinny = healthy no matter what your blood pressure, blood sugar, or organ functions are; or what your diet and exercise levels are like.

 

Personally I prefer to phrase it like "I'm getting into better shape" or "I'm trying to get stronger" or "I'm focusing on getting healthier" because people have a harder time arguing with that sort of goal-oriented language.

 

Even though UGH my buddy was all "Well you don't want to get all bulky, that's not attractive" and so I was like "WELL I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU SO SHUT UP."

[I-Jo]

I have a hard time with it- because I am surrounded by people are not anywhere near my fitness level- some of them are dancers- but they aren't where I am as far as lifting or training- but they are fantastic dancers.  But there is fluff- there are also some VERY overweight people at work.

 

I use "my inner fat kid" as an expression a lot- and it literally has NOTHING to do with them- it's just an expression and not a representation about them. Just a phrase. But some people will ALWAYS take it personally. 

[Flex Luthor]

It's amazing how warped your perception can get of yourself.

 

When I first started I pretty much thought everyone had a better body than me. Either the person was as skinny as I was or skinnier and I would think they carried it better, or wish I was like people that were bigger despite some of them not being in shape at all. Any comments about myself were in no way a reflection of them and had everything to do with me. I think something people need to remember is that everyone is 1000% more critical of themselves than anyone else. The majority of the time someone that says they think they're fat also thinks their friend who is more overweight looks better than they do.

 

Our brains are so messed up sometimes. I think the key is focusing on our strengths, which is what all of our friends do, and separating our appearance, or health for that matter from our worth.

 

Easier said than done of course.

[The Beard]

But this is one of those wider cultural problems, like how fat = unhealthy and skinny = healthy no matter what your blood pressure, blood sugar, or organ functions are; or what your diet and exercise levels are like.

 

Personally I prefer to phrase it like "I'm getting into better shape" or "I'm trying to get stronger" or "I'm focusing on getting healthier" because people have a harder time arguing with that sort of goal-oriented language.

 

 

Exactly. Harder to argue with using your phrasing because the other person would have to sound pretty negative. e.g. "You're getting too healthy!!!" Haha

[TheFourth]

When people discover my passion and addiction to martial arts:

"I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley"

All I can think is what the hell?

Do they assume that I go wait in dark alleys to break out my skills and beat someone to a pulp?

[samanmoran]

When people discover my passion and addiction to martial arts:

"I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley"

All I can think is what the hell?

Do they assume that I go wait in dark alleys to break out my skills and beat someone to a pulp?

Ha! I used to always joke how that if I met someone in a dark alley I'd get into one of my low, complicated, difficult to execute, but totally cool looking stances, give 'em a good stare down and say, "as soon as I get out of this exceptionally cool looking stance I'm gonna wu-shu your ass!" Then they'd think I was nuts and run away.

Kind of an inside joke if you know a lot of forms but don't spar... Like me.

[Flex Luthor]

When people discover my passion and addiction to martial arts:

"I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley"

All I can think is what the hell?

Do they assume that I go wait in dark alleys to break out my skills and beat someone to a pulp?

 

I never know what to say to this. An even more common one for me is. "I bet you could beat me up." Like I would suddenly just kick their ass for no reason. Very irritating.

[MissMormie]

I never know what to say to this. An even more common one for me is. "I bet you could beat me up." Like I would suddenly just kick their ass for no reason. Very irritating.

 

Yeah, I could say something about that... 

But you'd just beat me up so I'll be silent

[I-Jo]

I never know what to say to this. An even more common one for me is. "I bet you could beat me up." Like I would suddenly just kick their ass for no reason. Very irritating.

I just say- of course I could...

 

and that's that.  It's just such an odd thing to say.  But you can't do much about it.   Oh well.

 

Odd things- not so much a saying but an annoying thing.

 

new gym: someone you don't know gives you the thumbs up.  I want to ask them "do you give every guy who comes in here and does a good work out a thumbs up?" why are you giving me one? I don't know you. 

 

I just find it so fricking weird. 

[Basement Cat]

I never know what to say to this. An even more common one for me is. "I bet you could beat me up." Like I would suddenly just kick their ass for no reason. Very irritating.

I have a similar problem because of my interest in shooting. People seem to think that because you are interested in "violent" things, you are a violent person. There's kind of a huge leap between shooting a paper target and shooting a real live person. Same thing with martial arts: between sparring and actually beating someone up, there's a pretty big gap. Especially with martial arts: most people think "Martial arts are for self defense, competitions or for showing off, not something you do just to have a workout and have fun."

 

There's also this strange compulsion to say something in response. When somebody says something, most people feel that they must comment on it or they'll seem rude. Then it comes out all weird.

 

Take your pick. It's all I got for now.

[samanmoran]

Wow. Hm. Well, guess I'd pretty thrilled if someone actually thought I could kick their ass.

Sounds like flattery to me.

Depending on who is saying it, could even be flirty. I have a hard time imaging a guy saying to another guy, 'I bet you could beat me up'.

Like I'm picturing all the men I interact with on a regular basis and try picturing them together in the same room with my martial arts friends and just cannot picture any guy saying that.

[Basement Cat]

Wow. Hm. Well, guess I'd pretty thrilled if someone actually thought I could kick their ass.

Sounds like flattery to me.

Depending on who is saying it, could even be flirty. I have a hard time imaging a guy saying to another guy, 'I bet you could beat me up'.

Like I'm picturing all the men I interact with on a regular basis and try picturing them together in the same room with my martial arts friends and just cannot picture any guy saying that.

I can't imagine a woman saying that in a flirty tone either...

[samanmoran]

I can't imagine a woman saying that in a flirty tone either...

Really? I totally could. Would... Probably have. Ha ha! ;p

[mzmtg]

I have a similar problem because of my interest in shooting. People seem to think that because you are interested in "violent" things, you are a violent person. There's kind of a huge leap between shooting a paper target and shooting a real live person. 

 

I HATE that.

 

When some people find out I'm a gun owner, they something stupid like, "Remind me never to piss you off."

 

I always answer that I have already shot everybody I want to shoot. (That, of course, would be no one.)

[samanmoran]

Ok,, I'm giving this more thought... If someone were mousey enough to say something like that to me in a serious manner, I would find that individual most annoying. And I think my response would have to be, "Careful what you wish for."

Or perhaps, "Do you feel lucky? Well? Do ya, punk?"

Sent from an alternate universe using Alien tech.

[Suited hippy]

new gym: someone you don't know gives you the thumbs up.  I want to ask them "do you give every guy who comes in here and does a good work out a thumbs up?" why are you giving me one? I don't know you. 

 

I toss out thumbs ups and high fives around like they are going out of style, regardless of gender. 

 

Perhaps because it's a new gym for you they thought you were new to fitness so wanted to give you some positive reinforcement?

 

I for one think the random high five while out running is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

[Basement Cat]

I HATE that.

 

When some people find out I'm a gun owner, they something stupid like, "Remind me never to piss you off."

 

I always answer that I have already shot everybody I want to shoot. (That, of course, would be no one.)

Yeah, I don't own any guns at the moment, but I am interested in them. (it's kinda tricky to be a gun owner in Canada.) I remember when I told my family that I hoped one day to get into serious shooting sports and hunting, their reaction was "hunting is cruel and unnecessary" and "don't bring your guns near our kids".

 

First: none of them are vegetarians or vegans, so bullshit on the cruelty argument. You know how most livestock is raised?

Second: What the f***? What do you think I'm gonna do? Hand a rifle to a freaking 2-year-old? Twirl a pistol like in the movies?

 

I also want to learn butcher skills, which my family finds a bit disturbing. It's a survival skill, what's wrong with learning to live off of the land? It's Canada, most of the land is wilderness! (ok, maybe not most, but still)

[Thrillho]

I learned butchering skills and gun skills from my in-laws.  Yay Canada!

[I-Jo]

 

I have a similar problem because of my interest in shooting. People seem to think that because you are interested in "violent" things, you are a violent person. There's kind of a huge leap between shooting a paper target and shooting a real live person. Same thing with martial arts: between sparring and actually beating someone up, there's a pretty big gap. Especially with martial arts: most people think "Martial arts are for self defense, competitions or for showing off, not something you do just to have a workout and have fun."

 

There's also this strange compulsion to say something in response. When somebody says something, most people feel that they must comment on it or they'll seem rude. Then it comes out all weird.

 

Take your pick. It's all I got for now. 

guns were invinted for a singular purpose.

If you own one- and you practice shooting- it should be a reality that at some point it may be pointed at someone.  (Although we would hope not)

 

I have no intent in shooting anyone- but I will if I need to. I think its' a bit naive to think that owning a gun means you aren't willing to do violent things.

 

People who own guns (responsibly) tend to be peaceful very none violent level headed people.   it's an end to a means- and a great source of fun... but it's only purpose was to cause harm.  So I don't' see how that's a big leap. 

 

I toss out thumbs ups and high fives around like they are going out of style, regardless of gender. 

 

Perhaps because it's a new gym for you they thought you were new to fitness so wanted to give you some positive reinforcement?

 

I for one think the random high five while out running is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

You high five- and thumps up people to people you don't know and have never seen before in a gym??

 

I high five runners all the time- no issue even people I've never met- but I don't randomly high five- fist pump- or thumbs up people in the gym that I don't know. That's just weird to me. People whose names I still don't know- but I've seen them around ALL the time- I still will fist bump high five- head not whatever- they are familiar faces- that's normal.   And it's nice to get recognition for my work (I'm very clearly not new at working out)  but there is something about it that just strikes me as odd to give a complete stranger a thumbs up- knowing fully good and well- they probably don't do that to any one else.   it's just weird. Oh well. No worries- again- nice to know I'm doing something right!

[Basement Cat]

guns were invinted for a singular purpose.

If you own one- and you practice shooting- it should be a reality that at some point it may be pointed at someone.  (Although we would hope not)

 

I have no intent in shooting anyone- but I will if I need to. I think its' a bit naive to think that owning a gun means you aren't willing to do violent things.

 

People who own guns (responsibly) tend to be peaceful very none violent level headed people.   it's an end to a means- and a great source of fun... but it's only purpose was to cause harm.  So I don't' see how that's a big leap. 

 

 

It's about the same size of leap between saying "I want to die" and actually killing yourself. It's not so easy to jump once you are staring down the edge of a high building or bridge, or to sink a knife into your skin and cut your veins open. (I know)

 

Just because you own a gun and know how to use it does not mean you would be willing to use it on another human being, never mind its original purpose. This is actually the line of thinking that leads to people saying stuff like "I bet you could beat me up" or "remind me not to piss you off". Because of course if you are learning to use a tool or technique designed to harm, surely you intend harm? Or at least to defend yourself? Well no, not necessarily.

 

One last thing, owning a gun for hunting or target shooting and carrying a gun around for protection are two very different things.

[TheFourth]

I never know what to say to this. An even more common one for me is. "I bet you could beat me up." Like I would suddenly just kick their ass for no reason. Very irritating.

The other one I hear is:

"I have a friend who is a black belt in x I bet he could beat you up"

All I can think is bullshit. We've never met each other and you think we're going to fight?

[ImpostorOak]

The other one I hear is:

"I have a friend who is a black belt in x I bet he could beat you up"

All I can think is bullshit. We've never met each other and you think we're going to fight?

 

I can't begin to imagine why anybody would ever say that.  It's like society is so based around one-upping people that if you can't one-up somebody yourself, use somebody else's skills to one-up them just so they can't feel as good about themselves.

[Basement Cat]

I can't begin to imagine why anybody would ever say that.  It's like society is so based around one-upping people that if you can't one-up somebody yourself, use somebody else's skills to one-up them just so they can't feel as good about themselves.

Not to mention that belt color might be meaningless depending on where you got it. Some schools have a very "fast food" approach to martial arts, and it's possible to get a black belt in 6-12 months in some places (not even kidding). Ask those people how long it took to get that black belt. You might be surprised by the answer.