Figuring out your goal weight/ size?

[porchcricket13]

Something was said to me today about a picture of me at a MUCH smaller size and it bothered me, but it also got me thinking.

 

How do you decide on your ultimate goals? Does what others think get taken into consideration? Is it all about the ideal/ standard?

 

According to the ideal weights for my height I have seen I should be 130lbs lighter than I am now, personally that is WAY too small. I don't want to be a twig. I'm simply not built that way, and i'm fine with that. My ideal (in my eyes) is also very different from what my bf thinks it should be. There is about a 50lb distance between his goals and mine. I think I need to lose more than he would like me to.

 

I'm wondering if other people would let their partners view impact their ultimate goals.

[joedog]

I started by figuring out my body fat % using one of the online calculators. I then picked a target BF % and back calculated what my weight would be based on my current lean body mass. I'm a math junkie so I enjoy running the numbers. I'm trying to focus more on body fat % because it seems like a better indicator of fitness than just weight alone.

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[Rhyme]

Yeah, I can agree with using body fat % as a goal -- Bone structure is different on everybody, and if you want some muscle, that of course will account in what the scale says too.

 

Personally, I'm just eating right and strength training and letting my appearance do what it does. I guess to say, my ultimate goal is just "slim and strong" rather than any particular weight. Once I get visibly skinny I'll start a cutting/bulking cycle and find my ideal from there.

[quaintly]

The most important person to please is yourself. YOU have to like you, first and foremost.

 

Honestly, do you need body composition/weight goals? What about performance goals? Nutrition goals? Those are much less entangled in self-esteem/body issues, and they might be something to think about, even if you decide to just use them as short term goals.

[TankGrrl]

To answer your question directly and throw in my 2c...

 

I think it is very dangerous to take into consideration anyone else's, including your partners, opinion on your ideal weight.

The reason being is that you can never be certain if that is exactly what they mean, whatever their good intentions. For instance, in your partners mind, if you were to weigh Xlbs you would have the exact body of Scarlet Johannsen (insert any other person they may find attractive here). Unless your partner is a doctor/nutritionist/personal trainer etc how can they really say this as any more than a guess. After all everybody's body is different. You need to weigh up everybody's opinion with a critical eye and make your own choices.

 

That said, I think it is absolutely fine to consider your partners wishes in respect of how they would find you most attractive. It's very GGG of you (to steal a term from Dan Savage) and what a loving partner should do for another. As long as they are realistic, and as long as they do the same for you!   Otherwise kick 'em to the kerb lol

 

Agreeing with Rhyme and Joedog, bodyfat % is usually actually what people are thinking of when they say you should weigh Xlbs. It makes a far better goal.

Unfortunately, bodyfat is harder to measure than simply standing on the scales so it's understandable that we all go for the easily measured metric.

 

If you have a lot to lose then a bodyfat% goal may work better for you.

At the end of the day, having a goal is wonderful motivation but it should never be cast in stone. You will learn what works for you and your goals may change. Don't waste time worrying about what will be perfect if it is holding you back from getting started.

Go out and be be better tomorrow than you were today.

[I-Jo]

I'm wondering if other people would let their partners view impact their ultimate goals.

 

 

 

nope.

 

my body- not his.  Now 3 months ago I asked him what he thought about me working toward visible abs- he said he didn't care.  I'm sure if I lost my legs/butt he'd not be thrilled but he wouldn't tell me no.  

 

I also don't subscribe much to "I need to weigh XX amount"- I'm much more in the camp " I need to be able to do XX things and lift XX heavy weight"

 

I want to be harder stronger faster- fitting into a smaller size is one thing- but really it's not that important- actually it's costing me money- I am more concerned right now with developing a muscle up

 

do what you need to do to be the best YOU that you can be.  Whatever that means for YOU.

[Waldo]

I don't entirely subscribe to the "I just want to perform better" POV because it very much does a disservice to and ignores the diet side of things, some people use it as a crutch to say that its ok for them to no longer be concerned with body composition, so long as they are performing, that's the important part.  There is a widely held but incorrect belief that getting lean significanly harms performance.  But it really isn't truth, for example look at Olympic athletes, virtually everyone but the super heavyweights in the strength sports is quite lean.  The only exception to this are competition BBers, but you surely won't accidentally get competition BBer lean, most people fail to grasp how much further competition BBer lean is from your 'ol standard 6 pack lean.

 

Now it is good to ditch the fixation on weight.  Most people trying to "lose weight" are actually trying to improve their body composition (the only exception are people cutting to make weight in sports).  When fat these concepts are one and the same, but as you get leaner, they diverge (improving body composition generally means increasing lean mass and decreasing fat mass, the scale could end up going up, down, and/or sideways).

 

For example having visible abs is very much a body composition goal.  The same person that weighs 180 lbs could take 2 entirely different paths to try to get there; the first path, focusing on weight and the scale, they could end up 130 lbs with barely a hint of abs, the second path, focusing on body composition, they could end up 150 lbs with a rockin 6 pack.

 

The best "weight loss" goals are actually body composition goals.  Maybe you don't want a rockin 6 pack, instead seeing ideal composition as having vertical ab separation without the horizontal separation.  Very few guys will get definition that way (horizontal comes in much easier), but most women will, being able to see the outer ab wall and a soft line leading straight up right above the belly button.  Even most plus size models have vertical ab separation (having it at a plus size is one of the things that makes them model material).  How do you get it?  Get yourself to about 22% body fat, give or take a few %.  What you weigh at that % is entirely irrelevant.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Get yourself to about 22% body fat, give or take a few %.  What you weigh at that % is entirely irrelevant.

 

Pretty much this, but the % is up to you. The important part is that the weight at that % is irrelevant. I'm 6'1" and the ideal weight for my height is something around 180 lb. My lean body weight right now is in the mid to upper 180's, because like you, I have have muscle and want a strong muscular frame. If I can manage to keep most of my muscle and get to 20% body fat (my personal goal for now), that's 230 lb.  Screw the scale, find one of those calculators that tell you bodyfat % based on measurements or go get someone to do a caliper test on you and use that as your measurement stick.

[stevembk]

I dont care about what weight I am. I only use weight to plug into cardio machines so I can track consistency from their inaccurate readings.

 

Better goals should be a clothing size or a picture in your mind of how you want yourself to look in the mirror.

[porchcricket13]

Thanks everyone! I feel like I may have made my dear bf out to be kind of a bad guy. He's not. We have had extesive conversations about this journey. He likes curvy girls, I have known that since day 1 of our relationship. I have worked hard to convince him these curves aren't going anywhere! He sees the weight we started dating at perfect because he knows what my health and happiness were like then.

 

As for my goals, body weight % is probably more what I should track, but right now this is simply not about weight loss. The health issues I have been dealing with over the last year are what i'm concered with. No one but him and I really know the pain and stress over that time. I'm just tired of dreading a day at work because I will be unable to move when i'm done. Fighting with 80lb+ dogs right now leaves me in pain and unable to catch my breath.

 

 

All of my goals right now involve my health alone, the weight loss is a bonus. I want to happily walk around the lot on tour this summer without worrying about passing out.

[porchcricket13]

I should also mention the original comment that upset me did not come from him.

[Norgaard]

weight isnt everything either, im dropping weight in order to do more advanced body movement and training.

 

and for me its simple, the more unnessesary fat I have = the more I need to drop.

So I just loose what I need in order to conquer my goal.

 

and you should never let anyone but yourself decide your goals. After all, you are the one that need to be inside your body everyday, so it's your goal that is important, everybody else just need to adapt!

[Maledictus]

Me and my cousin are pretty much the same height.  You could (almost) strap two of him side by side and I would still be wider than him.  My weight went down, then it went up while lifting.  My clothes all got too big on the waist, now they all pinch on the shoulders & thighs... I almost given up on weight (& the few times I've tried to measure %age fat it was with a cheapo electric thing that hasn't varied in 60lb of variance in weight..) I'm now aiming for "I want to be capable of X, Y, Z and whatever shape my body is in when I do that, I'm happy with".  Does what others think factor into it?  About as much as in all other aspects of my life (so that's a no then).

http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Care-Other-People-Think/dp/0141030887/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367509371&sr=8-1&keywords=why+do+you+care+what+other+people+think

[porchcricket13]

Me and my cousin are pretty much the same height.  You could (almost) strap two of him side by side and I would still be wider than him.  My weight went down, then it went up while lifting.  My clothes all got too big on the waist, now they all pinch on the shoulders & thighs... I almost given up on weight (& the few times I've tried to measure %age fat it was with a cheapo electric thing that hasn't varied in 60lb of variance in weight..) I'm now aiming for "I want to be capable of X, Y, Z and whatever shape my body is in when I do that, I'm happy with".  Does what others think factor into it?  About as much as in all other aspects of my life (so that's a no then).

http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Care-Other-People-Think/dp/0141030887/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367509371&sr=8-1&keywords=why+do+you+care+what+other+people+think 

 

I have a similar philosophy, I have a favorite hiking spot that if I tried to do now would kill me. I'm giving it 2 months to get up there again. I want to be able to do my job again  without pain and trouble breathing. etc. I am doing this for me and I will stop when I want to stop. It's just slightly frustrating to hear people saying that I wasn't thin enough 70lbs lighter. 

[porchcricket13]

hm how did i manage that. my comment got put into the quotation too. odd.

[Loren Wade]

I don't entirely subscribe to the "I just want to perform better" POV because it very much does a disservice to and ignores the diet side of things, some people use it as a crutch to say that its ok for them to no longer be concerned with body composition, so long as they are performing, that's the important part.  There is a widely held but incorrect belief that getting lean significanly harms performance.  But it really isn't truth, for example look at Olympic athletes, virtually everyone but the super heavyweights in the strength sports is quite lean.  The only exception to this are competition BBers, but you surely won't accidentally get competition BBer lean, most people fail to grasp how much further competition BBer lean is from your 'ol standard 6 pack lean.

 

Now it is good to ditch the fixation on weight.  Most people trying to "lose weight" are actually trying to improve their body composition (the only exception are people cutting to make weight in sports).  When fat these concepts are one and the same, but as you get leaner, they diverge (improving body composition generally means increasing lean mass and decreasing fat mass, the scale could end up going up, down, and/or sideways).

 

For example having visible abs is very much a body composition goal.  The same person that weighs 180 lbs could take 2 entirely different paths to try to get there; the first path, focusing on weight and the scale, they could end up 130 lbs with barely a hint of abs, the second path, focusing on body composition, they could end up 150 lbs with a rockin 6 pack.

 

The best "weight loss" goals are actually body composition goals.  Maybe you don't want a rockin 6 pack, instead seeing ideal composition as having vertical ab separation without the horizontal separation.  Very few guys will get definition that way (horizontal comes in much easier), but most women will, being able to see the outer ab wall and a soft line leading straight up right above the belly button.  Even most plus size models have vertical ab separation (having it at a plus size is one of the things that makes them model material).  How do you get it?  Get yourself to about 22% body fat, give or take a few %.  What you weigh at that % is entirely irrelevant.

This.

 

Pretty much this, but the % is up to you. The important part is that the weight at that % is irrelevant. I'm 6'1" and the ideal weight for my height is something around 180 lb. My lean body weight right now is in the mid to upper 180's, because like you, I have have muscle and want a strong muscular frame. If I can manage to keep most of my muscle and get to 20% body fat (my personal goal for now), that's 230 lb.  Screw the scale, find one of those calculators that tell you bodyfat % based on measurements or go get someone to do a caliper test on you and use that as your measurement stick.

And this.

 

Take pics front and side every week and watch the progress.

[porchcricket13]

I'm afraid of my camera. I don't even have a picture from my highest this time. I will have to suck it up and deal with looking at pictures though. I'm curious, besides a gym where could I get those measurements done?

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

I'm afraid of my camera. I don't even have a picture from my highest this time. I will have to suck it up and deal with looking at pictures though. I'm curious, besides a gym where could I get those measurements done?

One if the weight watchers or diet clubs might do it, don't know. Bod pods are super accurate but a session typically costs $50 or so.

[Anivair]

My feelings:  weight is irrelevant.  Weight is just gravity on your body.  I think goals should be health and performance based.  Less body fat IS a goal and when most of us say "I want to lose weight" what we really mean is "I want to lose fat".   So say that instead.  Don't fear weight.  Muscle is heavy and also badass.   Instead, shoot for being healthier and more capable.  the lower fat will follow, as will the sexy beast.  

[Barbarossa]

Something was said to me today about a picture of me at a MUCH smaller size and it bothered me, but it also got me thinking.

 

How do you decide on your ultimate goals? Does what others think get taken into consideration? Is it all about the ideal/ standard?

 

According to the ideal weights for my height I have seen I should be 130lbs lighter than I am now, personally that is WAY too small. I don't want to be a twig. I'm simply not built that way, and i'm fine with that. My ideal (in my eyes) is also very different from what my bf thinks it should be. There is about a 50lb distance between his goals and mine. I think I need to lose more than he would like me to.

 

I'm wondering if other people would let their partners view impact their ultimate goals.

 

For what it's worth, I do consider my wife's opinion on how I look to an extent--that's why I'm not planning on breaking into the SHW class for powerlifting competition. 

 

That having been said, right now I don't give a damn about how much I weigh.  I'm holding pretty steadily at 250 (+/- 2lbs) on my weekly weigh ins, but there's obvious re-composition going on.  I want to eventually compete in the 220lb weight class, but for now I'm more focused on gaining strength than losing weight.  I'll start seriously working on losing the extra few pounds once my lifts are where I want them to be.  THAT having been said, I still am doing general conditioning work to do what I can for it now.

 

My "ideal" weight is ~155lbs, and I know from experience that I look anorexic at that point.  I say, pick a strength or endurance related goal, get to it, and then see what you think you need to do about bodyfat--chances are it'll go down on its own while you're becoming stronger.

 

Regards,

 

P

[Teros]

my ideal weight that I'm going for is about 10ish lbs more than what my dr. told me.  He said for my linebacker frame that I would be healthy at 205-210.  So I'm gunning for 220 (I'm 5'9).  I'm moreso going for what feels comfortable- but I'm a 100lber so I have a long way to go.  Once I get into the 250s, I'll make some tweaking with what feels comfy.  And hurray curvy girls!

[Barbarossa]

My ideal weight is whatever lets me lift the weight that I'm going for.  Even though I want to eventually compete in the 220lb weight class, I'm up six pounds from my starting point (250) in April, and completely okay with it because I haven't missed a rep yet.

 

I say that as long as you're healthy (clean eating), realistic (I was an anorexic 165lbs, never again), and smart (no tapeworms) about it you should pick a goal and go for it.

[sweetleaf5]

I think there are too many people/articles/doctors/etc...telling us what is right - screw that!!  I changed my lifestyle starting Feb 17th...I started eating right, I exercise like I mean it and the weight is coming off and my body is starting to look better.  It's taking time, but I'm doing it the right way!

 

You will just know your right size and weight because you will be healthy, you will look better and it will make you feel great!!

[Horsedog]

I'm wondering if other people would let their partners view impact their ultimate goals.

Yes, definitely.  For us, it's a partnership, not a my-way-or-the-highway situation - in ALL things.  That's not to say I let my wife's opinion become my opinion (or vice-versa), but I always take her opinions into consideration.

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Yes, definitely.  For us, it's a partnership, not a my-way-or-the-highway situation - in ALL things.  That's not to say I let my wife's opinion become my opinion (or vice-versa), but I always take her opinions into consideration.

 

I do too.  She doesn't like the huge muscle bound guys, so it's a good thing I'm not a body builder. Power lifting is making me solid as hell though, just gotta get rid of all tha extra belly padding.