How can I help my husband get healthier?

[MeetraSurik]

I started eating Paleo/primal back in mid-July after I first discovered Nerd Fitness, and so far I feel awesome.  I have lost about 10 lbs and around 7 inches from my waist and hips.  I've been cooking with new ingredients and I feel very motivated to get my family healthier.  My 2 kids are still really little and can't really complain about stuff I've cut out from their diets, which is great.    My cravings for carb-heavy foods like bread and sugary foods were hard for the first 2-3 weeks, but it's gotten better.

 

It's still hard though because my husband buys junk food for himself that I have to ignore in our pantry.  If I could get him to jump on board with the Paleo eating it would be awesome, because he's about 30 lbs overweight.  I prepare all our meals and since they're Paleo I thought he'd just naturally lose weight because he eats whatever I put on his plate, but he still snacks a lot.  In fact, he seems to snack even more ever since I started.  He loves his empty calories, stuff like chips and candy.  I can only "control" what he eats at home because I'm the one that cooks and organizes our menu, but he buys that other stuff while he's away at work.  I complain that it's hard for me to see all that unhealthy (yet tasty) junk food, but he doesn't think it's fair that he needs to stop eating it just because I don't eat it anymore.  At least he doesn't drink soda anymore, so that's a plus. 

 

He was doing really well at exercising for about a month while we were out of state visiting my mom, then eventually stopped after we came back.  His job got a lot busier and he started working more hours.  He said it didn't feel that it was worth it to spend the time exercising, and he didn't really see the point because even though he could feel himself getting stronger and more muscular he wasn't really losing weight.  It's been a huge bummer.  I know he feels guilty that he's not more supportive of my new habits, but I guess he doesn't feel eating junk food is a big deal.  I wish I knew what to do.  There's a lot of obesity in his family and the males have a history of dying young, which terrifies me.  I just want my husband to be around for a long time.  But I also understand that you can't force someone to do anything.  He's an adult and he knows what to do to get healthier.  I know I can't force him to want to take care of himself, but is there ANYTHING I can do to help him?

[I-Jo]

Unfortunately- when he wants to change- he will.

 

You cannot force him to change- you yourself recognize this.  I'd be very grateful he's accepting your food changes without a tremendous amount of wailing and knashing of teeth.   If he wants to snack at work that's totally his prerogative.   

 

You've done all you can at this point - to the best of your ability. Keep fighting YOUR fight and hopefully he will come around. 

[Malfurion]

Well there are different ways to get your husband to be comfortable with starting again the training...

 

I propose you one :

 

 

1. Make him feel that he is worth having a great health:

• Remind him that he is great and lovable, and he deserves to love his body, that already serves him so well
• Make him different than the other man of the family who are obese (like saying your are strong, you can choose a different path..("even if being obese has got nothing to do with that...but that is not the idea, the idea is to make him feel he has the choice, and he deserves to have a good health and great body).
• He can be the first to break family patterns in a positive way (specially if you have kids to give the good example).
• Remind him what you liked in his body before, when you met him..and that you find that it would be cool if he could get it back..
• Make him look at himself and ask what he likes about him, and how it would feel great if it was as he wanted

 

2. Associate the feeling of training with pleasure and motivation

• Compliment or reward him each time he trains for a long time / several sessions (not with food), depending on what he likes.
• Propose him healthy junk food : nuts, veggies when he feels like having chips.
• Propose him to do a complusion blow out (hypnotherapy), for his most important unhealthy food habit if he thinks he can't deal with it ( an option, but don't make him feel as if he was a freek.... just a LIGHT proposal)
• Reassure him when results are not there yet...tell him you can feel his muscles there still stronger and stronger when he trains (i know it seems ridiculous, but it can have an impact..)

 

3; Make the training easy and simple:

• If you can, do family hidden trainings (walks, sports together).
• For the coocking... you already did it all i think..
• Propose to meet him after training, for a coffee, out of his gym as a cool or sharing or romantic break.
• Ask him if he has prepared his bag for the gym (help him some times, to do so when he is too tired (and you are not)....but don't do it all the time, he has to feel responsible !).

Well there are lots of ideas like that 

 

 

 

And well some times you can remind him the risks it carries to be obese... health, sexuality, link beetween cancer and glucose....but every thing A BIT AT A TIME....

 

 

And the last but not the least..... TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY FOR YOURSELF FIRST, you can be an example for him, but only him can change his life... so don't put too much pressure on yourself !

[Vella]

He might be snacking more because he's eating Paleo and his body is telling him he should be eating more carbs, so he gets cravings during the day?

 

I agree with I-Jo - you can't *make* him do anything.  If he's willing, he'll be willing.

 

You could also try offering Paleo alternatives to his favourite snacks - the Kale chips on Mark's Daily Apple blog are really quite nice, and NomNomPaleo has mushroom and porchetta crisps.  I guess just make sure he doesn't associate 'diet' with 'deprivation'?

 

Other than that ... just be supportive, don't try to force him to do anything, and be willing to compromise.  Be a healthy example, and be human, and he might decide that it's possible for him to do it, too.

But if you force him, it'll make him feel resentful and more likely to sabotage the diet because he feels like it's something he's restrained under.

[MeetraSurik]

These are some great tips. I hadn't even thought about his body craving carbs while getting used to the eating paleo. I'll have to make sure the pantry is stocked with healthy snacks for when he gets the munchies. Thanks!

[Waldo]

Suggest it as a means to improve your sex life.

Most men will respond to that.

Though you have to let him figure out how to do it his way. Pushing paleo on someone that doesn't want it isn't going to work. Most communities that men will listen to (powerlifter types or bodybuilding types) regularly mock paleo nonsense.