Talking about "Fat Letters" on HuffPostLive

[Hugz]

Hey guys! I was on HuffPostLive again recently, this time talking about "fat letters" that are being sent to kids from their schools. Check it out!

 

Here was the blurb they had for the show:

"At least 19 states are sending home legislatively mandatory BMI reports, so-called 'fat letters' to parents of elementary, middle- and high-school students. We discuss their effectiveness and their unintended impact on students' body images."

[elril]

Based off of BMI, genius. 

[El Exorcisto]

BMI should be stricken from all records. I am obese at 19% body fat, which is fucking insane. I'll add this ludicrosity to the lsit of reasons my wife and I will be home schooling my daughter.

[Hugz]

They're trying to do something good, but in a stupid way that's doing more harm than good.

[notanartmajor]

BMI is not good for people who have lots of muscle mass, true, but let's be honest here - most people do not have lots of muscle mass.

[Hugz]

I agree and I mentioned that in the show, that even though I consider myself muscular lol that I'm obviously obese, the same as when I was a child, it was an obvious thing. People like me who were hundreds of pounds overweight as a teen, it wouldn't have even taken a BMI test to know I needed intervention.

[Suited hippy]

I am betting BMI is quite a bit more accurate of a measurement for children. You are not going to have some jacked 9 year old with 4% BF and a ton of muscle weight. 

 

We have an epidemic going on, and I think we need to focus less on self esteem and more on saving lives. Is some 12 year old fat kid going to be hurt? Maybe, but you know what is a great way to fix a self esteem issue? Getting fit.

[Hugz]

Intervention is definitely necessary. Feelings are going to be hurt most likely, but if it helps save lives it's worth it. I think it's going to be hard to find an approach to this problem that everyone thinks is appropriate. 

[CombatBoot]

I think it's going to be hard to find an approach to this problem that everyone thinks is appropriate. 

 

And that's the entire problem. There's always going to be someone who is going to complain.

[STFU&TRAIN]

Wow!! That's crazy, i'm also not a fan of BMI. If I enter my stats in one of those, I'm overweight, borderline obese!! haha, it's comical. It's already tough enough being a kid in school now a days. 

[Hugz]

One thing that sucks about discussing a problem like this in the format we had, was having 4 people and a host talking out points in roughly 20mins is too short to get anything across or get any depth to the conversation, imo. That's why I love communities like this where ideas can be shared with people going through some of the same struggles, or have kids who may be in school going through this now. 

[Kaylya]

There are some families who are less aware that their child has a problem ("Oh, he's just a bit chubby"). On the other hand, you'll get some people who will go on a cycle of yo-yo dieting followed by bingeing etc. that just make things worse (as Bill Anderson is describing). Lots of people who are obese have spent a good chunk of their lives on a really restricted diet, lose some weight, go off of it, and then gain it back and more.

 

Creating a wholistic "Fitness Report Card" that includes BMI in addition to other indicators is maybe not a bad thing, so long as it focuses on offering very helpful advice and access to resources, and not just "Your kid is heavy, do something"). For example, if the school district retained the services of a dietitian for a healthy eating seminar and maybe even some one on one sessions with families.

[hawgsquatch]

Does this mean they are going to reintroduce sports? How can they vilify sports and activities with one hand and then promote the shallowest judgments of beauty and health on the other hand, while banning sack lunches and stuffing processed corporate GMO crap down the kids' throats at the same time. Public schools are not even trying to hide the fact that they are just fasco-liberal indoctrination stations anymore.

 

I have two daughters and thank God they understand that their beauty springs forth from within, with no need for governmental approval. My ex was borderline anorexic and I lived with it for 15 years. It started with the opinions of her schoolmates at eight years of age. Let's just not do this to anymore children.

 

I used to have concern about my youngest a few years ago and was torn about mentioning it to her. I waited and she grew a foot between 5th and 7th grade. No more problem and I did not start a destructive cycle of self judgement. Guilt and self disgust promoted by a government-ally approved ambiguous number never helped anyone ever. 

 

When do we start sending home "nerd" or "ugly" letters.

[El Exorcisto]

Stop making phys-ed about jock worship and help the weak and the fat. Teach kids how to cook instead of talking about drugs that most kids would never se let alone try. Those two things alone would change the game in a year. Unfortunately that would take time and effort, two things that teachers' unions loathe.

[Hugz]

@Kaylya I actually posted in the comments for the video about schools possibly having a nutritionist much like a school psychologist who could work as a liaison with the school/students/parents. That would be costly and most schools would be unlikely to be able to do that. Again, I don't believe there is a "perfect" solution to this problem, the letters being far from it. Health education and physical education are good, but some kids (myself at that age) need specific intervention.

[Vintage]

Stop making phys-ed about jock worship and help the weak and the fat. Teach kids how to cook instead of talking about drugs that most kids would never se let alone try. Those two things alone would change the game in a year. Unfortunately that would take time and effort, two things that teachers' unions loathe.

 

I'm totally against pinning this on the teachers. I honestly believe that most teachers are dedicated to teaching and helping their kids and that they are absolutely hamstrung by pay-by-performance based on standardized tests, mandatory curricula that require teaching to the test, parents that frequently expect the schools to raise their kids and a lack of resources. I'm a nanny to two fantastic kids, 7 and 8. Their daily school schedules (which I assure you are not set by the teachers) include less than 30 minutes of recess per day and 45 minutes of P.E. every 3 days. That's ridiculous. 

 

 

But back to the original topic: what sort of resources and assistance are the schools offering along with these letters? I'm sure that there are a lot of parents who ARE in denial about their kids' weight. This makes sense - we tend to blind ourselves to problems that seem insurmountable and that we don't have a solution to. Yes, we know that eating fewer calories and moving more will result in weight loss, but broaching that and sticking to it long term without creating psychological issues surrounding food and body image just isn't that simple. 

 

There's a book called The Heavy written by a mom who's young daughter was obese. It's her memoirs of putting the girl on a long-term, pretty strict diet and all of the public and private conflict that went with it. There are some particulars that I disagree with (mostly on the nutrition parts - she was willing to go with a lot more processed foods and artificial sweeteners than I'd like) but honestly, that made the book more thought provoking because I could see how tough all of the choices and trade-offs were. One common theme was how much judgement she got both as the parent of an obese kid and as a mom enforcing a diet - we all say that parents should just make healthier choices for their kids and get tough on it, but people are a lot less sympathetic to the mom refusing her sobbing six year old a piece of cake at a birthday party.

[Cruella T'Kill]

I'm totally against pinning this on the teachers. I honestly believe that most teachers are dedicated to teaching and helping their kids and that they are absolutely hamstrung by pay-by-performance based on standardized tests, mandatory curricula that require teaching to the test, parents that frequently expect the schools to raise their kids and a lack of resources. 

 

This.  I understand that it's a problem that needs a solution, but since when should the school be responsible for such things?  It's just as bad as parents fobbing off sex education on the teachers.

 

I'd be interested to see how many vending machines these schools have and what they offer for cafeteria lunches.  Not to mention phys ed requirements.  Fixing those things would do far more than fat shaming.

[hawgsquatch]

This.  I understand that it's a problem that needs a solution, but since when should the school be responsible for such things?  It's just as bad as parents fobbing off sex education on the teachers.

 

I'd be interested to see how many vending machines these schools have and what they offer for cafeteria lunches.  Not to mention phys ed requirements.  Fixing those things would do far more than fat shaming.

I agree with you here. Parents should be encouraged, stigmatized, coerced, even bullied into parenting their children. That is why I support a 50% tax credit for any family where one parent stays home and raises children past the age of 14. I think the tax burden and two incomes being required to make ends meet, really harms the family and we pay for it later with a really overmanned criminal justice, and social program heavy system here.

[MissMormie]

I agree with you here. Parents should be encouraged, stigmatized, coerced, even bullied into parenting their children. That is why I support a 50% tax credit for any family where one parent stays home and raises children past the age of 14. I think the tax burden and two incomes being required to make ends meet, really harms the family and we pay for it later with a really overmanned criminal justice, and social program heavy system here.

And if we make the tax rate only applicable to stay at home dads that might have a bigger impact as most criminals are male. Let's get those male role models at home.

[Vintage]

I'm not saying it wouldn't be great if we worked harder to make it possible for parents to stay at home to raise their kids if that was what was right for their family... but I think we need to be careful with shaming parents who choose to work. I know a lot of working moms (and dads) who do an awesome job of parenting and I know some stay-at-home parents who can't seem to impose any sort of guidance whatsoever. Working parents can make fantastic role models, too. 

[Hugz]

I think it comes down to the fact that it has become more acceptable to allow children to run the household as opposed to the parents being in control. I know i was always allowed to do whatever I pleased in my home, I never had any real guidance and as long as I didn't burn the place to the ground I was pretty well left to my own devices.

[Starstuff]

I'm totally against pinning this on the teachers. I honestly believe that most teachers are dedicated to teaching and helping their kids and that they are absolutely hamstrung by pay-by-performance based on standardized tests, mandatory curricula that require teaching to the test, parents that frequently expect the schools to raise their kids and a lack of resources. I'm a nanny to two fantastic kids, 7 and 8. Their daily school schedules (which I assure you are not set by the teachers) include less than 30 minutes of recess per day and 45 minutes of P.E. every 3 days. That's ridiculous. 

 

While I don't disagree that teachers today are in a seriously unfortunate position, the way P.E. is taught has been a problem far longer than any of these restrictions. I've talked a lot about this with my friends, since I'm really passionate about teaching kids that physical activity can be fun for everyone (not just the naturally athletically-inclined), and none of us was ever taught how to do anything physical in P.E. We were taught the rules of team sports. We were regularly tested on our running, push-up, chin-up, etc. abilities, but never taught how to do these things or how to improve. We were just expected to suss it all out on our own, and anyone who didn't figure it out and improve got bad grades and letters sent home about how we weren't applying ourselves.

 

Can you imagine teaching any other subject like that? For instance, can you imagine a math teacher just giving students problems every day with no explanation and no feedback on their work, and then testing them periodically? It's nuts when you think about it in those terms, but that's exactly how P.E. is taught, and it's how P.E. has been taught (at least in California) for at least 30 years. Physical education needs to actually include education.

[MissMormie]

That's actually better than it's done here (at least was some years ago). We didn't get taught rules we just played softball or soccer outside and basketball or volleyball inside. Generally that meant the guys played and the girls never got a ball so we just chatted somewhere on the field.

Once a year there was an open day for new students so all equipment was laid out and we got to play with it for one lesson, then it went back in storage for the next year.

[hawgsquatch]

I'm not saying it wouldn't be great if we worked harder to make it possible for parents to stay at home to raise their kids if that was what was right for their family... but I think we need to be careful with shaming parents who choose to work. I know a lot of working moms (and dads) who do an awesome job of parenting and I know some stay-at-home parents who can't seem to impose any sort of guidance whatsoever. Working parents can make fantastic role models, too. 

Well said,

 

I agree and I work 60+ hours a week and still do a decent job as a single Dad. I am just a bit peevish at how much I work I guess.

[alienjenn]

my daughter (who is 5'4" and 145 - which btw is MY height and GOAL weight) got one of these "your BMI is high" letters

 

and she cried for 2 days because the school "called her fat" (they called her overweight and not fat but apparently there was some discussion with the school nurse over what her weight was)

 

so when I went in to talk to the nurse (not a requirement but I did it because I was pissed) I told her that this little girl (she was 13 at the time) was very fit and active... she hikes and bikes with her family weekly... she camps and swims... she is very active and strong (and not at all fat)... and that I would like to opt out of the weighing program... and that I felt that the school had no right to tell my very fit very active child that she was overweight...

 

I had to threaten to involve lawyers and such... I had to go in to the school four times... before they removed her from the list...

 

I think this is rediculous... I will admit I know PLENTY of people who say "well Bubba isn't fat he's just chunky" or "he's gonna have a growth spurt" and such... there are some children (ok a lot of children) who are overweight and the parents need an intervention... but for healthy fit active children to be told they are overweight??? and then to not be able to easily opt out of the weigh in program?? and to have their weight discussed IN GYM CLASS (and in a co-ed class no less)... I think it's stupid