zenLara's journey

[Barfly]

Sounds like a fantastic day!

[Lara]

Sounds like a fantastic day!

 

Yes! Thanks!

 

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Yesterday semi-rest day. I massaged a bit my calves and spent half an hour slowly reviewing tap moves and working on flexibility. Meditation, breathing, icelandic, musical practice... EVERYTHING on place, but with calm in my mind

 

Positive things yesterday:

 

- I didn't have time in the morning for my musical practice and was a bit annoyed about it. But hey, I thought, don't worry, it's not that bad, tomorrow will find the time. But in the afternoon one of my students couldn't come to her lesson, so I had this whole hour to myself and finally could practice.

- Wheather continues to be very warm. Last night, there were 24 degrees when I was coming back home past ten. It's a bit weird for october, but it's nice to have this good wheather stretching out through the autumn.

- Had a nice chat with one of my youngest student's mother.

- Had a lot of fun with one of the older students.

- Gave my cat an extra-super-caressing session.

- Slept better.

 

 

And today, strength workout!

 

Coffe table push-ups!

Squats with dumbbells!

Deadlift!

Bench press!

Overhead press!

Great stretching!

 

Positive things today:

 

- The afternoon hasn't been as hard as I expected.

- New step against stage fright: gave another pianist a sonata to play together.

- Turnip winter cream.

- Icelandic is showing its difficult face, but it's beautiful anyway.

- I had lunch shortly after my workout, and after that I had 20 minutes to pause before going to work. I layed myself down on the couch and my whole being sighed: I was soooo tired. But tired good, a nice feeling of tiredness.

[annyshay]

The book is "The anxiety and phobia workbook" written by Edmund J. Bourne.

I've seen it has some bad reviews on amazon mainly because of people think it's "same old, same old", so maybe if you've read something about anxiety before this book won't feel like so full of resources, I don't know. For me, really helpful.

That's the same book I'm working through.  I've also felt it pretty helpful.  Keep up the great work.

[Lara]

Week recap: GOOD!

2 C25K runs, 1 strength workout, 1 tapdance lesson, 2 flexibility sessions and 5 twenty minutes meditation moments. Breathing moments everyday, and re-started positive things record. Kept anxiety in low levels. Worked on icelandic everyday. My musical practice schedule is still in beta stage, I managed to do 4 sessions, instead of the 6-7 intended. I'll try to improve that this week.

 

About C25K, I've decided to repeat the fourth week. My legs are stronger and I run no longer like a 90 years old, but my lungs are still telling me my options are to stop or to die.

 

Positive things yesterday:

 

- Rest day in the morning.

- A bit anxious but managed to calm myself with breathing.

- Sunny and hot again. Winter is never coming this year. I've even got a mild sunburnt from my running.

[Barfly]

If you slow down a bit on your runs your lungs won't try to kill you.

[IronGlider]

If you slow down a bit on your runs your lungs won't try to kill you.

 

That's one thing I keep forgetting too, in addition to keeping upright+breathing properly. Crucial really, especially for asthmatics like myself!

 

...keep up the great work Lara! :-)

[SymphonicDan]

Yay, nice as always to see your hard work everywhere paying off, even if not every day goes according to your wish Are you going to be staying with the battle log rather than the challenge format for the rest of 2014? (Damn, is it nearly 2015 already?!)

[Lara]

If you slow down a bit on your runs your lungs won't try to kill you.

That's one thing I keep forgetting too, in addition to keeping upright+breathing properly. Crucial really, especially for asthmatics like myself!

 

...keep up the great work Lara! :-)

 

That was the problem, yes. I've been running like an old lady for the first weeks, but yesterday I felt this big power in my legs and had to try it. You should have seen me going up the slope like there was no tomorrow. Epic. My lungs fairly protested, I'll accept the guilt. I'll come back to my usual old lady style until they get better 

 

Yay, nice as always to see your hard work everywhere paying off, even if not every day goes according to your wish Are you going to be staying with the battle log rather than the challenge format for the rest of 2014? (Damn, is it nearly 2015 already?!)

 

I am not sure what I'll be doing. I'd like to take a challenge, maybe with the druids as I am trying to be calmer, or maybe with rangers as I am running and "lifting".

I think I am doing rather well, but I keep feeling overwhelmed every time something unexpected comes up. Maybe a challenge about staying calm... And yes, it is going to be 2015. But no flying cars, no hoverboards and definitively no smart jackets that dry themselves

 

Nice to see you back! I see you had a nice trip!

[Lara]

Yesterday was workout day.

 

Inclined push ups 3x3x3 As hard as always.

Deadlift 5x5x5 with 20 kg. This is huge!! That is 4 kilos more than last week and it's almost half my own weight!! The problem now is that I don't have more weights...

Squat 5x5x5 14 kg, which is 2 more kilos than last week.

Bench press 5x5x5, 10 kg, also 2 more than last week.

Overhead press 5x5x5 8 kg. This. Is. Hard.

40 seconds elbow plank

 

I didn't feel as crushed as other times, so that was good too.

 

Positive things yesterday:

 

- Waking up without a clock alarm. In fact, if I include this morning, this has happened 4 days in a row. It's not at all one of my goals, but it's happening and it's nice. I hate to use clock alarms because they make me wake up in a fright.

- It keeps on being sunny and hot. The mark of my running shorts can be seen on my legs because I've got a bit of a suntan. End october

- Light afternoon at work.

- Had to work in the morning too for a couple of hours, but managed to do some things of my list.

- Slept rather well.

[Barfly]

You're getting tough!

[Lara]

You're getting tough!

 

I'll see you in the push-up corner very soon, you'll see!!!!

[Lara]

Today is holidays, so I don't have tap dance. Ooooooooh

But as my legs weren't supposed to suffer so much today, I did a C25K yesterday. It was very fun, the day was nice and sunny. I've discovered that when someone phones you, the app stops itself. I had put my phone in silence, so I didn't know somebody was calling, and so I didn't notice the app had stopped. So I kept on running like forever while wondering why those last 5 running minutes seemed so damn long.

 

Positive things yesterday:

 

- Decided to take a rest from other obligations to make more room for icelandic. I am learning my first declensions and want to fix them well in my mind. Why do I find these things so fun?

- It was sooooo sunny and hot. And the sky was soooo blue, so deep! Today the wheather has changed and it seems actual autumn will be here in only a few hours, but I've enjoyed and appreciated this sweet "summer" a lot. I spent the whole summer incarcerated at home, and that had pissed me off a lot, but then I've got this beautiful late spring wheather for more than a month and that makes up for everything else.

- Another day waking up early without a clock alarm.

- I don't have nice dreams lately, but I am usually sleeping the whole night without awakening.

- Renewed my suscription to the meditation website and got a discount that made it even cheaper than last year.

- Got a very good price for some instruments my students need to buy. I had been to several stores and the assistance was awful. Then I called this place and they were awesome.

- Fighting procrastination. Hard. But I am starting to realize how much anxiety piles up if I continually postpone things.

[SymphonicDan]

Haha, someone in Spain will find this out and keep phoning you every time they think you're out jogging. If I see you running past my window in England I'll let you know that you've gone too far

 

Nice that you're enjoying the warm and sunny autumn we're having in Europe If you like long periods of good weather, it's ironic that you're learning Icelandic. "Ég elska íslenska sumar. Það er uppáhalds minn dagur ársins."

[Barfly]

Haha! I read that as "don't have lap dance".

But it's early, and I was drinking late...

[Lara]

Haha, someone in Spain will find this out and keep phoning you every time they think you're out jogging. If I see you running past my window in England I'll let you know that you've gone too far

 

Nice that you're enjoying the warm and sunny autumn we're having in Europe If you like long periods of good weather, it's ironic that you're learning Icelandic. "Ég elska íslenska sumar. Það er uppáhalds minn dagur ársins."

 

:tongue:

 

Is that one of their sayings?

 

Haha! I read that as "don't have lap dance".

But it's early, and I was drinking late...

 

Ayayayyyyy :tongue:   Beer attack again?

[SymphonicDan]

:tongue:

 

Is that one of their sayings?

 

Probably not I just Google-translated the name of some funny Facebook page that I saw ages ago after changing "Scotland" to "Iceland". I've always wanted to go visit actually, I might actually be going next year! How well can you read/write/converse now in Icelandic?

[Lara]

Probably not I just Google-translated the name of some funny Facebook page that I saw ages ago after changing "Scotland" to "Iceland". I've always wanted to go visit actually, I might actually be going next year! How well can you read/write/converse now in Icelandic?

 

Ok! I guess it can apply to very different places...

 

I am doing fine with icelandic right now. I made a basic vocabulary with memrise, around 500-600 words, and then was ready to start with some textbook. At first I felt a bit disheartened, because every material I looked at seemed to quickly mess up with complicated aspects of grammar. But finally I found this old book, called "Icelandic in easy stages" that is actually in easy stages. It has very fun texts and it goes so slowly you make progress without noticing. So now I can introduce myself, say which languages I speak, where I come from and describe basic things. I can talk about object colors, size, people's appearance... I can use basic verbs in the present, and to be and to have also in the past, I am starting to learn declensions on simple words (it, what, pronouns and some nouns) I can count to 20... I have seen first video of "viltu að læra íslensku" like 10 times and I can follow almost everything with icelandic subtitles.

 

Well, I don't think you expected such a detailed description... but you know, I am so proud

 

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Positive things yesterday:

 

- Resting day.

- Still blue sky, even when it was meant to rain.

- Found an icelandic declension wiki where I can consult my doubts.

 

And today: short strength workout with long stretching (back and legs): inclined push ups 3x3x3; squats 16 kg 5x5x5 and deadlift 20 kg 5x5x5. I've noticed that since I've started to do deadlifts my back flexibility has improved because of strength improvement. It seems that I didn't lack much flexibility but hadn't the strength to make my low back move forward when seated (I could bend further if I used my hands to grab my feet and pull, but not without that extra-strength. Now I can!)

[Lara]

Yesterday had planned to make time for some stretchings but it finally didn't happened. It's not something worrying yet because I am doing very well if we look at the big picture, but I am a bit concerned that with the arrival of bad weather I'll start to skip workouts.

 

I've started to be anxious about little things, and it takes a lot of energy and time to sit down and reasonably talk them away. It's much more difficult when you are such a natural born stubborn. I've kept anxiety at bay for weeks, which is a good thing (very good indeed!), but lately it is coming out of control and appearing for minimal reasons, making me feel stressed along the day. These last days have been difficult to manage, and if I stop and think about it I find there is nothing really disturbing in my life right now. It's the day-to-day what is causing me to be anxious   One of the biggest problems is that anxiety reduces my appetite; I mean, I feel hungry, but I don't "want" to eat, which makes me lose energy because of lack of nourishment and so increases physical anxiety. I've been doing rather well until now, but yesterday night I only ate half of my dinner and this morning I was only able to eat a handful of almonds and some berries. I know that if I can't stop this, everything will worsen.

 

Positive things yesterday:

 

- The rain.

- Doing less in the morning to avoid being stressed.

- Getting up earlier, still without an alarm. Sleep seems to be regularising itself without me doing anything special about it. Maybe that is a good sign that I am making progress, despite these last days worsening.

- Hot bone broth when arriving home at night, wet and tired.

- Had duck for dinner. You can see how much worrying it is that I left half my dinner yesterday. There are never leftovers when duck is on the plate.

- Another teacher talked me about playing this nice "galante" style piece,which has parts also for a violinist and an oboist. I said yes, but I am not sure the oboe teacher will want to play it. He seems to be having more problems than me with stage fright. Will have to wait.

 

5.11.14

 

Short strength workout + stretching.

I am a bit concerned about the way I take the weight on when placing my dumbbells for the squat. Have to seek some video about it, because I don't have a rack or a barbell and it is a lot of weight to lift to my shoulders and want to do it properly.

I felt like I was a bit more in control with inclined push-ups.

 

Positive things today:

 

- Meditation.

- People.

- Icelandic.

- Stretching.

- Anxiety is better after these last days. I am still eating a bit less, but I feel calmer. I decided to do even less things, and to take more time to rest or to have fun.

[IronGlider]

Hey Lara,

 

I think/find that many of things you're mentioning related with this time of year, it'll definitely take some adjusting to the new season. It's so cold and dark here, and this usually makes a huge impact to general food consumption, sleeping and waking up (esp. without much light/in a cold room). As a result, general motivation and mood are affected. If one is off-guard, it can really disrupt their routine and patterns (one of my sisters is really affected by all this atm). I know I find it hard to get up earlier and REALLY hard to work in the evening when it's dark.

 

Hopefully you'll adjust and everything'll be fine, but the way I see it, months like these just require a little more will, and a bit of focus on your overall goals will do a lot of good during these times.

 

Congrats on 'keeping on' Lara! :-)

[Barfly]

You are doing sooooo well! Have you gone back to reread some of your earlier posts for comparison?  

[IronGlider]

You are doing sooooo well! Have you gone back to reread some of your earlier posts for comparison?

That's a great idea, which reminds me of something I read heard today and also had @skinnyLara in mind...

Whilst listening to the AoM podcast, they mentioned how writing things of gratitude is useful but it gets stale, and that more immediate and long-term benefits come when you write down the things that you managed to overcome in the past and that have affected something (for the good) today, essentially flipping your current situation and having a sigh of relief knowing it isn't like that anymore.

For me recently, I managed to get rid my immediate debts which is great and a huge sigh of relief (as it's gone on for a year, as you know) but with a little over a week has past since, and it already feels like old news and I've moved on. But I wrote it today just how bad I would be feeling if it was still an ongoing issue. It's so easy to forget and take for granted! Just frees up mind space, qnd writing it down helps motivate me to be more prepared for anything in the future + overcome other things and feel the same sigh of relief.

Hope all's well, keep kicking A! ;-D

Sent from my Blackberry PlayBook

[Lara]

You are doing sooooo well! Have you gone back to reread some of your earlier posts for comparison?

 

Yes, I did it recently. I've walked a long path, but I still admire my willpower of last january, when I started to go for a walk every damned morning before sunrise... Ufffff.

 

That's a great idea, which reminds me of something I read heard today and also had @skinnyLara in mind...

Whilst listening to the AoM podcast, they mentioned how writing things of gratitude is useful but it gets stale, and that more immediate and long-term benefits come when you write down the things that you managed to overcome in the past and that have affected something (for the good) today, essentially flipping your current situation and having a sigh of relief knowing it isn't like that anymore.

For me recently, I managed to get rid my immediate debts which is great and a huge sigh of relief (as it's gone on for a year, as you know) but with a little over a week has past since, and it already feels like old news and I've moved on. But I wrote it today just how bad I would be feeling if it was still an ongoing issue. It's so easy to forget and take for granted! Just frees up mind space, qnd writing it down helps motivate me to be more prepared for anything in the future + overcome other things and feel the same sigh of relief.

Hope all's well, keep kicking A! ;-D

Sent from my Blackberry PlayBook

 

It's true. I think writing a positive things list helps me in the moment I write them down, but I also keep a handwritten journal and it helps more when I read the big picture. Also, I must say I've faced several difficult situations in my life, and overcoming them has a great value for me. I wish it was easier to focus on that and less easier to focus on all the tiny stupid things that make my anxiety grow.

 

These have been two lazy days, after my last workout. I've done my icelandic, and breathing, and meditating, but a lot of work is in standby. It's also true that I've been feeling a bit sick, like catching a cold or something, and that with cold wheather I am back to cold feet season and it sucks.

I've finally decided to take the next challenge, but with no pressure. I think I'll stay with the adventurers, as I consider an "adventure" to try to get out from my anxious world once and for all. And I've accepted I have to improve my general fitness before I really try to be an assassin or whatever I choose to be.

[Lara]

It's done: http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/56189-skinnylara-mastering-life/

[Lara]

First week of the challenge is over.

I think I am doing a good job, although my musical practice schedule has been reduced to almost nothing. It's true I had my lips ruined by cold, but I think the big hindrance is that I've been sleeping too much. I'll try to get up earlier as I've been doing these last weeks to assure myself I have time enough for everything.

But I must say I am pretty happy with the results, I am really focused on taking care of myself. Also, I am facing events with more confidence and calm, yet my body still keeps on getting anxious about stuff. The good point is my brain is calmer and I have no anxious thoughts. I guess my body will follow and I will slowly find it easier to feel calm. This feels like the good direction.

[Barfly]

Free your mind, and the rest will follow