Taking a break from something you love

[kingclumsy]

I'm just asking for some second opinions here, I hope this is the correct place.

 

I train 2-3 times a week with my local roller derby league currently but recently I've not been enjoy it as much.

 

Part of this comes from the awkwardness of the off-season period but also because of my place in the league. The league is all female, and the main place for men within the league is as a referee and technically I am training to be a referee. To do this, I first have to pass my minimum skills qualification which I find hard to do, firstly because I find skating difficult and secondly because I can take part in at most, 1 in 3 drills (as these are designated co-ed). Without sounding vain, I'm not sure if I'm getting value for money, nor an especially good workout. I feel awkward as one of the few men in the league and one of the few regular male attendants at practice.

 

Furthermore I'm not sure if i WANT to be a referee. I'm not especially observant and havent been that good so far. I think I'd rather just join or form a mens team and take part as a skater. Finally, It takes up a lot of mental and physical time and I think I could focvus on my fitness and my life in general more without derby.

 

I love the sport, and I love the league a lot, they're all great people. I just feel like I should take a break from the sport to remind myself why I like it and sort out why I take part. Does this make sense? I'd maybe rather just go to the gym and as the weather improves, skate outside. I adore skating itself.

 

tl;dr- Can you take a break from something you love to remind you why you love it?

 

Any opinions are gratefully recieved.

[ytterbium]

In general, taking a break from something formerly but not currently satisfying is a good idea. It's probably not going to go away, so if you do find you miss it deeply little will be lost.

 

It seems like your situation isn't so much a general unsatisfaction as it is knowing what you want but not having a way to get it--i.e., you want to do roller derby (I'm sure there's a better verb for that; I just don't know it. Apologies) rather than ref, but you're learning to ref because there isn't currently another option. Is there any chance of building a men's team, perhaps using the infrastructure/organization/contacts of the league that you're involved with in some way?

[kingclumsy]

In general, taking a break from something formerly but not currently satisfying is a good idea. It's probably not going to go away, so if you do find you miss it deeply little will be lost.

 

It seems like your situation isn't so much a general unsatisfaction as it is knowing what you want but not having a way to get it--i.e., you want to do roller derby (I'm sure there's a better verb for that; I just don't know it. Apologies) rather than ref, but you're learning to ref because there isn't currently another option. Is there any chance of building a men's team, perhaps using the infrastructure/organization/contacts of the league that you're involved with in some way?

 

"Do Derby" is Fine, Ytterbium

 

Thanks. That's rather what I was thinking. Its a little selfish too, just giving it up for a while, or at least taking a break lets others progress faster, lets others friendships form more and intentionall and forcefully remove something potentially enjoyable from my life. But even writing I realise how silly that sounds.

[Rostov]

I think that sounds sensible.  I once took a "sabbatical" from a sport that I used to love but which I gradually grew disenchanted with as all my time was spent with assistant coaching and admin, at the expense of actually doing playing the sport..  Eventually I realised I'd forgotten why I did any of it, and was just going along to training out of routine.  Turned out for me that I didn't miss it, or at least not enough to go back to it.

 

But I've had long a break from another sport (injury enforced, unfortunately) that I took up after that, and found that I do miss it and would like to go back to it, even though I'd considered giving it up a few times, or at least scaling back my involvement by quite a bit..

 

Bit of a break isn't a bad thing.  One thing that can be a bit tricky is what you tell people, and how to avoid burning bridges or hurting feelings through misunderstandings.

[AKLulu]

I tend to give things up when I stop loving them too. It honestly becomes really mentally stressful for me when I feel like I'm obligated to be a part of it and it's really not fun for me anymore. I think stepping back is a good call especially if you're not able to be involved in it in the capacity that you want to be.

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

Sometimes you love a sport but are just feeling burnt out. It's more than okay to take a bit of a break from the sport. I did a sport (fencing) in high school & college and loved it, but after the first year playing in college I was definitely burnt out. Luckily I'm in a 5 year studies program and could take a year off, which gave me time to recover both mentally and physically from the competitive aspect and reevaluate why I played the sport. The following year I was itching to return and started playing again feeling refreshed and newly obsessed.

 

I know people who have competed in the same sport at international levels and took 5-6 year breaks before returning to competitions. The amount of time you stay away is up to you, but if you love the sport enough you'll know when it's time to return. For me it was just an overwhelming urge to get back into it. No joke, I was watching tennis on TV and the competitive spirit of the players made me think "I really want to fence right now". A few months before that I barely wanted to look at my equipment...

[kingclumsy]

Thanks everyone

 

I'm taking a break from derby and I went to a roller disco the other week and skating outside on Sunday and it was probably the most fun I've had skating in a while. As I said to my other half "I like derby, I really do, but I LOVE skating"

[AKLulu]

Yayyy, that's awesome! Way to get back to finding what you love about it

[ytterbium]

Woot!