Disillusionment with Conventional Wisdom

[Aegle]

I feel like I've been lied to and directed down the wrong path throughout my life. I've recently faced disillusionment with diet, exercise, academics, and happiness. It's not anyone's fault; it's just the way life is. Modern society tells us:

--To eat less meat and more whole grains to be healthy

--To run to become fit

--To get into an elite college and land a prestigious job to become successful 

--To buy material items to be happy

For better or worse, I've faced the influence of my parents, teachers, peers, and the media (including politicians and celebrities). With so many messages coming my way, I've been caught up in conventional wisdom and endured unnecessary stress. While I'm thankful for all the good in my life, the good can never erase the bad. I've went through emotional slumps, faced identity problems, and had difficulty building the life I truly want.

 

Now that I've discovered Nerd Fitness, Mark's Daily Apple, Zen Habits and The Art of Non-Comformity, to name a few, I've finally found resources that make sense and communities that I want to be a part of. At times, I feel overwhelmed by all of the new information I'm learning--I don't know where to start and there are so many changes I want to make. Nevertheless, I know that my past does not determine my future, and I'm determined to change my life for the better. Change happens in small steps. Creating a healthy and sustainable lifestyle is key. Finding enjoyment in the journey is priceless. With these messages in mind, I maintain hope and persevere. 

[DrVornoff]

Good for you.  I mean that sincerely.  When I dropped out of college after a fight with Residence Life (long story) I struggled for a few years and still am, and in those early days I came to realize that conventional wisdom isn't very wise.

 

I recommend the book "Mastery" by Robert Greene.  It's easily the best of the 5 books he's published and I re-read it every 90 days and find myself gaining new insights from it and a fresh shot of motivation.  Besides that, like you've said you've got the community here.  No judgments, just solidarity.

[Rookiebeotch]

10 years ago, I learned all the biological mechanics that I needed to become fit and healthy when I was taking hardcore biology in college. But I allowed myself to be confused by the other 'truths' about things like eating whole grains, avoiding fats, doing a billion sit ups, and running. It took a decade of flailing and failing before I realized that there aren't two truths. I should have listened to the one backed by science, not the one on commercials.

[kaelvan]

Dealing with this right now. Now trying to figure out a way to become a traveling nomad and tell my parents I don't want to do the traditional lifestyle.

[Rookiebeotch]

Becoming a traveling nomad doesn't just contradict conventional wisdom, it contradicts sound reasoning too. ;P

But don't let that stop you. Just make sure you enter that argument fully loaded.

[metakiiro]

I think that disillusion with conventional wisdom is a common generational sentiment nowadays. 

 

Here in the US, the economy is screwed up pretty badly. Most us are carrying several thousand in student loans and maybe other debt. The job market is in the toilet for the most part and a lot of places want interns, contract workers, part time, etc. You can't build a life on that, contrary to what many of the older generation folks seem to think. 

 

I feel like I was pushed into pursuing degrees that my parents thought I needed to be successful and make money. And also because they wanted me to validate their choices to move out of the city and to be workaholics. At 29, I look back and I'm like "wtf, why did I choose this life?" I can't live for anyone but myself and I've let the fear of disappointment stop from doing things that I wanted. I was always like "no, I can't do that because it would upset my parents or because I need to be there for my family, blah blah."

 

As far as the health stuff goes, conventional wisdom is pretty much shot these days, imho. Trouble is, a lot of people stick with it and go back to it because of economic reasons. Cheap carbs and fast food are the poverty diet. It's all about getting the most energy from the food you can afford/obtain. It's cheaper to eat off of the dollar menu than it is to buy the stuff to make burgers and fries at home and it's definitely cheaper to eat off the dollar menu than it is to do the whole organic-everything, fancypants Whole Foods version of the paleo diet that you see advertised on MDA and Nom Nom Paleo and some other sites. 

 

 

Material things don't make people happy, but the insurance of knowing that the material is obtainable brings a lot of comfort and joy to one's life. You'll hear a lot of people saying things like "no one wishes they had worked more". And there's that insipid commercial where the kids are begging their parents to take more vacation days too, just add some extra guilt. Unfortunately, if you're an American and you want to live the dream, you've got some choices to make.

 

• Work. Find something that you can do with integrity. Don't align yourself with finances or politics.
• Live a smaller life. Instead of traveling the world or giving to the third world, travel around your home country and its neighbors. Or maybe even just your home state/province or the region in which you currently reside. Give your money and time to local causes. 
• Invest your time wisely. Focus on people, not things. Health, not wealth.

That's all I got for now. Ranty-rant, I need to sleep. 

[Lalie Fanyarendil]

I know what you mean. My life has improved a lot since I started ditching conventional wisdom. Unfortunately, those who absolutely swear by conventional wisdom can make it difficult for those who are being hurt by conventional wisdom.

 

I knew it'd be difficult for me to find a job that used my degree, but I thought that a Bachelor's would be a good step toward some kind of employment. Wrong. After a year or so being unable to find full-time employment I started applying to any sort of jobs I could find, but Wal-Mart wouldn't even take me to bag groceries. For years I woke up every morning and sincerely regretted having gotten a college education. What did it get me besides student loan debt? You can't eat personal enrichment and a good GPA. Four years after I graduated it was a random series of events that led me to the job I'm in now--none of which would have happened if I hadn't decided to take Chinese for fun in college. Six years after I graduated I finally managed to pay off my comparatively low student loan debt and make enough money to live on. NOW I'm happy to have gone to college, and I love my job, but much of this goes back to luck, not how hard I've worked.

 

As far as figuring out where to start--maybe try to figure out what area is bothering you the most? Or what area you'll be able to start implementing things in first? Food was a good one for me since a number of physical improvements came about as a result, and that gave me energy to start on other things.

[kaelvan]

I can't even continue my education because the place I was going to school won't allow me to sign up until I pay them all the money I owe them (fun of getting sick almost 2 years ago and being punished for it). Besides every major I do want to do has no jobs in it. And hate my science major too much to even want to continue it (chemistry not my cup of tea).

[Companion]

If you want to be a nomad, make your print small. Carry little to no debt, including student debt. Have minimal possessions. Stockpile cash to get started.

Our kids are 19 and 28 and could give a fig what we think about what they do. The best and only reassurance we have is that they aren't generally prone to rash decisions. Behave in a way that is calm and consistent and maybe your parents will come to respect, if not agree with, your choices.

[kaelvan]

Traveling and art is what I always wanted to do since I was a kid. My parents encourage it until high school when it was time to "grow up".

 

Right now I have the problem that most of money gets burn up by gas since I live far from everything. The closest thing near me is 15 minutes.

 

My parents sometimes act like small children, especially my mom. They're starting to become lot like helicopter parents.