Respawning Again (Bring Me To Life)

[hblyne]

Ok, so I'm fed up of this happening. It's the same every time. I have good intentions and make a new plan and it goes one of two ways: either I stick at it for a couple of weeks and then slide back into old habits, or I never get the changes off the ground in the first place.

 

I know they say not to keep doing what you've always done if it hasn't worked, but I've tried all sorts and nothing sticks. I try to eat better, and fail, I try to eat less, and fail, I try new forms of exercise sporadically but nothing seems to really click and stick. At best I manage to lose a few pounds before they creep back on.

 

I'm going on holiday in 4.5 months and really want to be fitter and slimmer by then but I can't see it happening. I am literally out of ideas. I don't know what's holding me back. I don't know why I keep reaching for the comfort foods and failing to prioritise my workouts over other things. I'd love to get myself to a therapist but can't afford it right now.

 

So I'm here, again, really hoping to find some encouragement, motivation and accountability. I had wanted to lose 40lbs before my holiday, but as time is rapidly running out I'll settle for 20. Can anyone help me lose 20lbs in 18 weeks?! How do I stop myself eating sweets and junk food? How do I learn to enjoy cooking and eating healthy foods? How do I make myself hit the gym when I have work deadlines to meet in my precious few child-free hours a week?

[hblyne]

I don't mean to sound so negative btw. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't in the right frame of mind to make changes. I guess I just needs some words of encouragement.

[starsapart]

Hey, welcome back!  I remember crossing paths with you a few times, and it's nice to see you again!

 

Is it possible you've been trying to make temporary changes OR that you've been making too many changes at once?  What do you think is pushing you back into old habits?

 

You can do it!  You absolutely can!  But perhaps a new approach is warranted?  Something with really tiny changes.... or real rewards (or consequences) tied to your actions?  Some people do well with accountability that costs money when they don't follow through on commitment.... there are a few groups I've seen around that do a pay-in at the start and you can either earn back your cash (or more) or lose it all (and even pay penalties) if you fall off the wagon.  It's a bit of a harsh system but I know some people find it motivating.... A reward system could be nice, too.  Take something you really want and promise yourself it's ONLY for when you've succeeded at whatever goal you set.  Just don't back out on that promise to yourself.

 

I'm just throwing out ideas here.  You can take or leave them!

[hblyne]

Hi, thanks

 

I've always tried to aim for permanent changes and not think of anything as a "diet", but I probably am guilty of trying to change too much. It's hard, because so much NEEDS to change, and I'm not the most patient person lol. I get overwhelmed actually, that often seems to be at the heart of my backslides. I feel like it's pointless trying because it's not possible to completely change everything about my life (love a bit of melodrama). But small, sustainable changes don't seem to stick either. For instance making one dietary change such as cutting fizzy drinks, doesn't last more than a few weeks. I get disheartened when I don't see any results from that one small change.

 

I did actually start a reward chart for myself a few weeks ago, with three life-improvement goals on including eating a home cooked meal each day. But I haven't decided what my rewards will actually be lol. I can't justify spending much money on myself right now, but maybe I could look at modest financial incentives, like a new DVD or something.

[starsapart]

I think looking for physical changes based on tony lifestyle changes is a place that you can easily trip up.  Making tiny changes means you won't see noticeable physical change for awhile.... so you can't approach it as "if I change X, my body will change in Y way immediately."  Try instead, "If I change X, I will be overall healthier, and 10 years down the road I will thank myself."  Let go of trying to see progress and don't hang your adherence to the goal on physical improvements.  Just change it and say, "I am doing it this way from now on because I AM."  After it becomes habitual and you don't have to think about it anymore, you can pick the next thing to change.

 

The physical changes will sneak up on you and give you a pleasant surprise this way.

[hblyne]

I think I set myself a weight loss goal as something tangible, measurable, as I thought that would help me. But maybe it's a barrier. Maybe I need to get more visceral. For example, "I work out three times a week because it makes me feel good" and "I avoid processed sugar because consuming it gives me headaches".

[starsapart]

I think I set myself a weight loss goal as something tangible, measurable, as I thought that would help me. But maybe it's a barrier. Maybe I need to get more visceral. For example, "I work out three times a week because it makes me feel good" and "I avoid processed sugar because consuming it gives me headaches".

 

This seems like a much better route!

 

I always failed to lose weight until I stopped focusing on losing weight.... it's so backwards, I know, but try it and see if it works for you!

[hblyne]

I have a plan! I set some rewards to accompany my reward chart. If I get at least 55 out of a possible 70 stars in a 4 week period then I get to buy myself a new album or DVD. If I get at least 5 stars a week for home cooked meals, then I can allow myself one take away per week.

 

I have a new weightlifting program and ex husbeast husband has agreed to let me use his rack and weights when I drop off and pick up the kids twice a week, and I will do my interval training at the gym twice a week too. Ex is going to help me work out a target for 10 weeks time and if I hit that I get to buy myself the boxset of the complete X-Files on DVD

 

Feeling pretty positive going forward