Men ONLY please...

[Guest Snake McClain]

Curious, what do you do for lower body? I am working on a bodyweight routine and really see where I need work and how I can keep taking it to the next level for upper body. My legs don't feel it unless I am doing a few hundred of something in a row.

other than maybe nabbing a weight vest and adding some pounds do the exercise i have no idea. one legged squats maybe are next? I can do 200 some body weight squats but only like 10-15 one leggers. maybe an option?

[Church]

That's what I did before I discovered the barbell. One legged squats while using the rings to assist with balance issues.

[dshale]

other than maybe nabbing a weight vest and adding some pounds do the exercise i have no idea. one legged squats maybe are next? I can do 200 some body weight squats but only like 10-15 one leggers. maybe an option?

Really scared of screwing up a knee. I thought about it.

On to a different subject. Shaving - So I got a nice shaving kit as a gift. I found it really makes a difference. Of course I am out of shaving cream now and was contemplating making my own shaving soap. Just to pass down some mountain knowledge I have been making soap with my boys. Thought it would be really nice if I can get this woodworker I know to turn a small bowl for me. I got a few ideas but want a really manly scent to it. I'd like to do something woody like sandalwood if it wasn't so expensive. The real stuff runs about $90 an ounce.

[Church]

Art of manliness did an article about home made soap a while ago, they mentioned using coffee and coffee grounds to get a nice manly scent.

[Church]

Holy cow! I definitely need The Council's advice on this one. I'll start by explaining the situation:

There's this guy I worked with for 6 months or so, about 3 years ago. We weren't/aren't friends or anything like that, but we partied with the same group of people a bunch of times. Usually the guys would bring their girlfriends along and good times were had by all. Anyway, him and his girlfriend both ended up on my facebook and I never really got around to deleting them. Over the last few years I've watched them go through several facebook-official break-ups/make-ups, this time it seems to have stuck.

The reason I'm bring this up is that I just happened across her profile on the dating site. I've hung out with her before (as part of a larger group that included her boyfriend) and I know she's a pretty cool chick and all that jazz. What do I do? I'd like to drop her a line but I feel like I'd be violating the bro-code or something, you know? I'm not sure how to proceed. Or maybe I shouldn't proceed?

[BarefootDawsy]

You said it yourself...you aren't friends with the guy so the bro code doesn't stand. I reckon give her a shout, could be nice to meet up when you both already sort of know each other. (Of course you may want to de-friend him in Facebook before continuing)

[Razor]

I'm not sure how to proceed. Or maybe I shouldn't proceed?

If you have other options, I would pursue those. If they were together for a long time and you guys were in the same circle of friends it might be weird, or it might be great. It really just depends.

But really, I'd drop a line. At least just start out talking. Don't mention the bf at all. Just ask her teasingly what she's doing on the dating site, ask her if she remembers "such and such party" or "that one time we all did this". Ask her for coffee or dinner if you guys hit it off. It all starts out with a talk. And with just a talk, you have nothing to lose.

[Church]

excellent advice guys. Thanks

I like your approach to this razor, although I don't really remember much of those parties myself... lol

But I'll try think up a way to give it a shot

[leadchipmunk]

The reason I'm bring this up is that I just happened across her profile on the dating site. I've hung out with her before (as part of a larger group that included her boyfriend) and I know she's a pretty cool chick and all that jazz. What do I do? I'd like to drop her a line but I feel like I'd be violating the bro-code or something, you know? I'm not sure how to proceed. Or maybe I shouldn't proceed?

I may catch my fair share of flak for this, but screw the Bro-code. The number one bro in your life is yourself, so do what you feel is best for you first. I know it wasn't really related the the topic at hand since you and the guy aren't bros, but I just had to say it.

As for the topic at hand, Razor said it best. Talk to her, no ill thoughts can come from that. If you two hit it off, then proceed to coffee or a lunch date or something.

[Atalan]

Holy cow! I definitely need The Council's advice on this one. I'll start by explaining the situation:

There's this guy I worked with for 6 months or so, about 3 years ago. We weren't/aren't friends or anything like that, but we partied with the same group of people a bunch of times. Usually the guys would bring their girlfriends along and good times were had by all. Anyway, him and his girlfriend both ended up on my facebook and I never really got around to deleting them. Over the last few years I've watched them go through several facebook-official break-ups/make-ups, this time it seems to have stuck.

The reason I'm bring this up is that I just happened across her profile on the dating site. I've hung out with her before (as part of a larger group that included her boyfriend) and I know she's a pretty cool chick and all that jazz. What do I do? I'd like to drop her a line but I feel like I'd be violating the bro-code or something, you know? I'm not sure how to proceed. Or maybe I shouldn't proceed?

Drop her a line. It's her decision who she dates. Not her ex's.

If things go well and he has a problem with it, then he needs to man up and move on.

[Waldo]

And if I read Waldo's description correctly, don't think of it as a one-arm pushup, you need to be punching the Earth.

Close, but you have to reverse the force application in your body.

If you are doing a pushup with your right arm, the forces in your body would be as if your were punching with your left arm. With pushups you want the rotational forces to cancel so you stay level. With punches you want the forces to stack to increase the power. It is still the same force though, rotational force between the shoulders and hips.

[Church]

You guys are awesome thanks for all the support and advice.

I emailed her through the site, and am currently awaiting a reply. I'll keep you posted if anything positive comes from this online-dating experiment.

[Waldo]

Curious, what do you do for lower body? I am working on a bodyweight routine and really see where I need work and how I can keep taking it to the next level for upper body. My legs don't feel it unless I am doing a few hundred of something in a row.

Single leg squats. I do them all sorts of ways. Vertical torso like a front squat, leaning forward like a back squat. BW or weighted (currently hold 2x 25 lb DB's when working "heavy"). Jumping onto objects. Slow cadence. Rest-pause sets (SLS are quite possibly the best pairing there is for rest-pause work). Pistol style usually but occasionally shrimp squat style (harder with less ROM, more like a lunge).

Glute-ham raises. I use my hands for assist yet, mostly just to brake my fall, I can't yet stop the negative portion. Long, long way to go until these things become too easy, and when adding weight, a little goes a long way.

Hill sprints. I use an about 125M, 8% grade hill. After a warmup sprint I run each as if I'm trying to medal in the Olympics and time each run. I rest ample time between runs so that I have peak output each run (~ 5min). I have a blast doing this, very fun workout.

Other assistance stuff like single leg wall sits, one leg bridges, walking lunges, etc..., also high rep stuff like RDL's and BW squats, as a runner I see a lot of value in high rep stuff, peak strength is cool and all, but the ability to power up a big hill when running is very useful to me.

I haven't had any issues with leg growth whatsoever, they just keep getting bigger and bigger. The fact that most of my leg strength has been built by single leg squats though does lead to some interesting traits. My balance has become downright awesome. I can hold single leg yoga balance poses for 30+ sec while on the ball of my feet. My ankle mobility has become ridiculous; I can probably hold an a2g squat for more than 30 minutes without issue. I often wonder if I would even use a barbel if I had the opportunity, the more I see the benefits of primarily single leg work, the more I think that it is the preferable way to work.

[161803398874989]

Related to the subject conversation, for my workout on Wednesday, my Crossfit was using skin-the-cats for warm-ups. One of the more advanced guys jumped up on the rings an proceeded to hold a back lever for a good 20+ seconds with perfect form. I'm pretty sure my jaw was on the floor the entire time. He couldn't quite get front levers, but, dude, I now have a goal (among many many of my others).

That sounds...odd. Pretty cool, but odd. If you have a 20+ second back lever, I would expect that you have a front lever. Or at least a straddle or one-leg out front lever.

What was I going to say? I don't really remember.

[Church]

Waldo, what was you're progression for single leg squats? I noticed in the video you posted that you go pretty deep. I can only get that deep with an assist for balance. Did you do the same, or did you just always go freestanding, and work your way down to that?

[TheSavageBean]

Church, never wait for a response. Send and forget.

So I'm reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" largely because I want to conquer the gnawing unhappiness that eats at me all the time lately (bad bout of depression). It says that humans exist largely in their own minds to seek validation and recognition from others. It makes a lot of sense to me, and I realise there's things in here I do already. In particular I've realised that my own quest for validation and recognition is going largely unnoticed by my friendship circles.

I'm not asking you guys how to be recognised, or how to recognise others. I'm learning those from the book. I want to know, how do I conquer my need for recognition? It can be said that all the things I do is partly in my quest for others to recognise me as a talented, intelligent, kind and strong person.

[Church]

Church, never wait for a response. Send and forget.

So I'm reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" largely because I want to conquer the gnawing unhappiness that eats at me all the time lately (bad bout of depression). It says that humans exist largely in their own minds to seek validation and recognition from others. It makes a lot of sense to me, and I realise there's things in here I do already. In particular I've realised that my own quest for validation and recognition is going largely unnoticed by my friendship circles.

I'm not asking you guys how to be recognised, or how to recognise others. I'm learning those from the book. I want to know, how do I conquer my need for recognition? It can be said that all the things I do is partly in my quest for others to recognise me as a talented, intelligent, kind and strong person.

Wow, this ^^^ is good timing. I was just looking at my 'sent emails' on the site, and I've sent 9 and only received one in return (which I replied to and am currently awaiting a response). Any way, I wondered how long was a reasonable amount of time before writing someone off as having blown you off. Especially on a Saturday when people with lives (re: not me) are doing things, and not checking their Internet incessantly just for the sake of checking it.

As for your question, I have no idea. I'm basically in the same boat. I know intellectually that I don't need these people to approve of me, but at the same time, receiving that validation, weather it be a complement on how I've lost weight, or just a really good conversation with a real live person is something I almost crave.

[Waldo]

Waldo, what was you're progression for single leg squats? I noticed in the video you posted that you go pretty deep. I can only get that deep with an assist for balance. Did you do the same, or did you just always go freestanding, and work your way down to that?

Balance was never my issue, strength was. I did a pistol with my right leg practically the first time I tried. The left lagged a bit, but the most helpful exercises were primarily strength related (weighted split squats, and box pistols using a chair).

Strength and balance are related, in hindsight my biggest issue was that I was bleeding off too much strength to maintain my balance. This is why adding a little weight makes pistols easier, the extra balance provided gives you more working strength, far more than is needed to overcome the weight.

As you get stronger with pistols, balance gets easier and easier. Balance is an expression of strength. By strengthening while balancing, you strengthen your ability to balance along with the movement.

How deep I go depends on my torso angle; upright I go butt to heels, super deep, leaning forward I go chest to knee and don't sit back deeper beyond that point (still a very deep below parallel squat). I never had to work down to the depth though, that was there from the beginning; it is pretty much biomechanically impossible to go any lower, I've always been able to rest in the bottom.

[Church]

Wow. I'll have to make sure to incorporate that on days when I can't get the barbell. Thanks for the tip!

[Red1263]

I may catch my fair share of flak for this, but screw the Bro-code. The number one bro in your life is yourself, so do what you feel is best for you first. I know it wasn't really related the the topic at hand since you and the guy aren't bros, but I just had to say it.

As for the topic at hand, Razor said it best. Talk to her, no ill thoughts can come from that. If you two hit it off, then proceed to coffee or a lunch date or something.

Bro Golden Rule: Do unto Bros what you would have Bros done unto you.

I'm not asking you guys how to be recognised, or how to recognise others. I'm learning those from the book. I want to know, how do I conquer my need for recognition? It can be said that all the things I do is partly in my quest for others to recognise me as a talented, intelligent, kind and strong person.

I've found that the best way to be recognized as talented, kind, intelligent, and strong, all you need to do is STOP worrying whether or not someone thinks this of you, and just BE strong, kind, intelligent, and talented. It's the people who are supposed to say these things in you, because you've ALREADY done them. Be the man, and the words will follow

[TheSavageBean]

It makes a lot of sense the way you say it. It resembles my own strategy for life at the moment. I was just hoping for a mental trick or something so that I COULD stop worrying. Normally it comes by nature and I grow unhappy because I find myself worrying again.

[leadchipmunk]

The best way for me to stop worrying about recognition and whatnot is to worry about others. I've always been an overly generous person, I'll give you the shirt off my back and the next person, I'll skin myself and make a shirt from it just to give away. So, when I start getting depressed, the best way for me to work it out is to help others or at the very least to be kind to others (something I really need to work on more)

[Caution]

I used to care a lot about getting recognized as well. After joining the Masons I started doing a lot of anonymous donations and charity work it really has helped me get over the "Look what I did! You should give me a cookie!" mentality.

[Razor]

In terms of actual validation, you need to love yourself. Not like yourself, or be okay with yourself, LOVE yourself. If you get injured tomorrow and can't work out for the rest of your life, will you be okay with how you look? Can you think of yourself as an adequate human being, lover, friend, and employee if that happens?

There's nothing wrong with improving yourself. One of my reasons is to look better to. But you have to ask yourself, and be SURE of your answer, when you ask "Down the road, when all is said and done and my goals are reached, will I actually be satisfied?". A lot of philosophers and psychologists will tell you ambition and expectations are the keys to disappointment and sadness. At the same time, what corrupts and damages the mind and sould builds and improves societies. Where would we be as a collective without those things?

You'll know you no longer seek validation from anyone but yourself when you no longer seek friends. In economic terms, there will be a low demand for friendship. Because you realize either A) There are no human beings who can meet and maintain the fictional standards we have of what friends and people should be, and/or You really don't need anybody else to spend time with/talk to.

Don't confuse friends with acquaintances. In this age with facebook, the internet, etc. everybody thinks they have lots of friends. I call those people acquaintances. I know them, I am cool with them, I occasionally talk to them, and we've had good times. But they aren't friends. I think the less you seek validation, the less willing you are to call random people you've met friends.

Or maybe I'm just confusing self-esteem with cynicism

P.S. There will always be a desire for social interaction and structure, along with sexual mates due to biological imperative. Community is how a species survives the world, and mates are what keeps the community populated. However, there is a difference between actively seeking validation (young people do this through peers especially, or the older example would be the Curl-bro), and desiring validation (It's nice to have, but you can continue without giving a rat's arse).

[dshale]

This is a funny subject to me. I have spent my whole life willing to make sacrifices and doing what is best for everyone else. Lately this has bitten me in the butt. I made the suggestion to hire someone at work. I knew it would be easier to find someone to do a user interface rather than the backend stuff. I suggested we get a PHP developer and obviously he became the go to person on design changes. Long story short he is going to be my new boss in a few weeks. Getting notoriety is not bad especially if you want to move up the corporate ladder. Life lessons suck and so does looking for a new job. It is a dead end job now and I don't see the reason for me to stay.