Men ONLY please...

[Church]

The force is strong with this one.

😂😭😝😜😁😃😄

[Niccolo]

They may look like there is some skill involved with planches/levers, but it is pretty much pure brute strength and little else.

So, I'm not sure I've been using the right terminology. My gym distinguishes between planches and levers in that planches are done on the ground, while levers are done from rings. Is this what you guys understand? Either way, I'm working on getting my core and arm strength up enough to do them.

Sorry for the derailment from the man thread discussion to more of a general fitness item.

I've actually got a bit of a question for you guys.

I've been working in the same job for 7 years now since I graduated from college, and I've been unhappy with it for about 4 of those years now. (Wow, has it really been that long??) My bosses are borderline abusive, with inconsistent standards, frequent chew-outs for minor things and those kinds of things. I guess my biggest problem with them is that they refuse to take responsibility for their actions, instead passing the blame to others who may have had nothing to do with the problem. Needless to say, I've been looking for a new job for the last three years, but have been coming up dry, with only a few interviews, including one that got to the third round when they said that I suddenly "didn't have enough experience" and they were just going to go with no-one.

Over this time, I've put on a strong face for my wife and friends. I tell them that there's no problem that I keep getting rejected or that nothing really happens. But each rejection, each non-reply really eats at me. This is one of the first times in my life that I'm really feeling like I may not be good enough, and that doubt has been seeping into other parts of my life. I don't know whether I'm ever going to get out of this job, and we've been getting indications that this office is circling the drain, with a lot of our clients stopping their projects. The thought of getting laid off or coming in one day and finding the office locked with a note on the door that says we're all fired has really been preying on my mind.

I don't really know what I'm bringing this up for, whether it's advice on the job hunt or what happens when I get laid off, or whether I'm just looking for someone to express these concerns to without having to be the "strong" person. I've talked to my wife about them, but she's a fixer and gave me direction on the job search. (I think of my wife and my relationship as she is the sword and I am the shield.) I know that the light points in my life right now are my wife and my workouts, but sometimes they don't seem enough to push back the darkness.

I guess I just wanted to air this with a group that I feel safe in, who can give me advice as to how I can get through this time, whether it's job seeking or just mentally.

(Reading this, it comes off as a lot darker than I usually am. Huh. I guess confronting things that aren't going right can do that to ya...)

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Niccolo, I congratulate you on the courage to voice your problems. That is often the hardest step in climbing out of a pit of darkness. I've been on the job search hamtster wheel myself, and it is absolutely no fun at all. None. (Not even a little). Bad bosses make life miserable, and there is nothing much to be done but what you are already doing and look for a new position. However, it sounds like you've been doing that for a while and getting bupkis as a result. You said you're not sure if you're asking for job search advice or a place to vent. Since your wife already gave the advice, I bet you need a place to vent. I've been in similar situations and started getting symptoms of depression. Vent to us certainly, that's part of what a men's group is about. I'd also like to suggest something else, something harder.

You need to admit to your wife how much this is getting you down. If she starts to give job search advice gently let her know you just need to vent, and ask her to listen. The time for advice will come later, once you've been able to get off your chest just how much your job stinks and how frustrated you are.

Good luck.

[Waldo]

So, I'm not sure I've been using the right terminology. My gym distinguishes between planches and levers in that planches are done on the ground, while levers are done from rings. Is this what you guys understand? Either way, I'm working on getting my core and arm strength up enough to do them.

Planches are pushing (weight above the support point), levers are pulling (weight below the support point). Levers need to be done on a bar or rings (or other support to hang off of), planches can be done on the floor, PB's, or on rings (bar too I suppose theoretically).

But they do break from the typical push/pull rules that apply to bent arm, as the muscle useage is very different (thus they can't really be worked into a push/pull split).

[Artinum]

Niccolo, I remember being unemployed for several years after University and getting nowhere with job hunting. It's awful. My partner was the turning point - he helped with the applications, gave advice on what to apply for and most importantly made sure I actually got the bloody things done no matter how much I hated doing them. Your wife sounds similar.

I am currently wondering what you're applying for and what your application looks like. Is there anything that could improve your chances?

[Guest Snake McClain]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

[Loren Wade]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

I know you have a lot more in you, buddy. Don't give up on yourself.

[Niccolo]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

Snake, I may be new here, but after reading this thread, I feel that you are a friend. You've been here for everyone and supported them through their trials. You've laughed and helped.

From what I've seen of you, you are one of the strongest people I've ever encountered. Throughout these pages, you've provided a rock for people who needed it.

This situation sucks. It royally stinks. But whatever you do, and this may not be the best way to put this, but don't let her win. Don't let her devalue your life just by going back to the dirtbag that she's been running back to when she's scared.

Take this experience and put it into things you love. Go work out like you never have before. Go spend time with your friends. Just go and do with people who love and support you.

Please, don't give in. We never leave a wingman. We will always be here for you.

[Jcannon98188]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

Uhh, Snake, no. You started this man thread, you don't get to leave. Do you know what just happened, life just gave you the biggest lemon possible, now give life a equally sized hand grenade! Now I don't care if I have to drive down to Noblesville, IN myself, I am not going to let you just give up. Take tonight to cry sure, but tomorrow get right back up and start over. You know from experience that you are too strong than to just give up.

[Church]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

Holy cow dude, what the heck? That's a raw deal man.

I don't know all of the details of your situation, and I know you feel miserable right now, but you'll bounce back. It may not be right away, but it WILL happen. You're stronger than this.

So you hang on to your Man-Card, and handle this however you need to, and we'll be right here if you need us.

[MuayTyson]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

I'm new so I don't know you so take this advice or leave it. This stuff happens to most everyone. Don't let another person determine the type of life you lead. The life you live is the one you decide to live. When this happened to me I used it as a way to drop all attachments. I moved to the city did better at work then I expected then moved to Asia studied Thai Boxing, opened a few businesses, closed a few businesses, made money, and lost money. I also got married after dating like a porn start on the rut.

Right now I am trying to reinvent myself it's not easy but I did it before so I'll do it again what choice do I have? I am sure you can do the same.

Sometimes losing it all doesn't destroy you it frees you.

[TheSavageBean]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

Who wins if you give up?

Let the storm rage and come back. We'll all be here for you.

[Artinum]

Don't let this break you. Make it toughen you up. If you need a rest from everything, take it - but give up and we will hunt you down and play Justin Bieber songs at you.

[leadchipmunk]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

Snake, you're better than this. We will not accept your man card. You've never given up on us, and we won't ever give up on you.

Were the few months you two had together so great that it is worth ruining the rest of your life by giving up? I'm thinking not. They may have been great, nearly perfect even, but they were only a few months. Take your time to get over her, then get back out there and find someone who isn't going to leave you and hurt you just because some piece of shit came back for her.

What is it they say?

There's plenty of fish in the sea, but many of them look like this. So, stick with humans. Or something like that...

Either way, she wasn't "the one" for you, as a matter of fact, there isn't a single person for any of us. Life isn't that black and white, it is a whole spectrum of grey out there. Each and every thing is either lighter or darker than the next. Your ex-lady friend was just another shade of grey. Find yourself a lighter shade. Oh, and avoid 50 Shades of Gray.

And if you don't believe me, here's some required reading about this. And some

for a twist on it.

As Tim Minchin said in the above listening:

Look, I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say

That given the role chaos inevitably plays in the inherently flawed notion of fate,

It's obstruse to deduse that I've found my soulmate at the age of 17.

It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth

I happened to stumble on the one girl on earth specifically designed for me.

And if I may conjecture a further objection love is nothing to do with destined perfection,

The connection is strengthened the affection simply grows over time.

Like a flower,or a mushroom, or a guinea pig, or a vine, or a sponge, or bigotry... or a banana

[Church]

Don't let this break you. Make it toughen you up. If you need a rest from everything, take it - but give up and we will hunt you down and play Justin Bieber songs at you.

That's evil 😱

[Red1263]

i havent said anything in a couple days. my lady friend and i took off together...then an ex of hers (who has screwed her over repeatedly for 20 years...yeah TWENTY that is not a typo) has come back and blew it up. we are done. i am totally crushed and i feel awful. she feels awful. i'm a broken down mess right now and i won't be around for a long time. i have no energy or drive to continue with any of my pursuits in life. the game is over. I'm tapping out guys. I'm happily giving up my man card and I'll go back to being a piece of shit person I used to be. Take care of the man thread without me. I dont know if I'll ever be back. To be honest I kind of just feel like killing myself by wasting away to nothing. Via pure laziness just fall off the earth. Love you guys. Take care.

Whoa! Dude! You can not tap out like this! This is the whole point of getting stronger, so that you can brave the Storm whenever it hits, on any level! You've gone too far and suffered through too much to just go silently into the night. You can't leave your buddies like this and throw away everything you've worked so hard for! Life will not always go as planned, but that doesn't mean that it's over, that just means that you have to take another route, nothing ever really goes as planned, sometimes it's a small change, others is Life-altering, but the whole point is to test your integrity, your endurance, your determination, your very will to live against all this. As much as it'll pain you to hear this, if what you have has ended, then that means that it was not meant to be. You feel like everything, your entire world has shattered and you're down deep in a Well with nothing but stone walls around you, Rock bottom, Well let me tell you something, my friend, Whenever you've hit rock bottom, there is only one way back out: Up. And we'll be there with you, every step of the way, you will have your chance to mourn and feel crappy about all this, but we will NOT let you give up. Everyone falls, but that's so that we can learn to pick ourselves back up. It's painful, there's no doubt, but it's the right thing to do.

[Tocho]

Snake, even though I don't really know you, I've seen how great of a person you are by reading this thread. No one here will ever accept your man card, because you've proven time and time again that you're one of those who deserve it the most.

I hate clichés and it's already been said but there is only one way for you from this moment on; UP.

You've been at the summit for a while with your climbing companion, but then you fell off and landed at the bottom of the mountain; somehow still alive.

You immediately started the ascent again, only to find out some sinister Sherpa that's been following your quite new climbing companion for the past 20 years comes and throw both of you off the god damn mountain again. However, this time you end up alone. At a new mountain, that you've never even seen before. The bottom of it is really steep, and you're greatly discouraged and you may as well give up, right? No. No no no. That is not how it works.

Because life gave you lemons, and you're not going to accept that. You find some fuckin' handgrenades, and BOOM! The steep climb is no longer that steep, it is manageable. And step by step, eventually you will reach the new peak. You may not have a climbing companion, but maybe someone will show up along the way. It will not be the same person, and you might not find someone else at all until you reach the peak all alone. But no matter how, or with whom, you are going to get there.

You are not going to ever give up. You are still the same person, you've said that yourself. We will be here for you every hour of every day. But you are NOT going to give up.

[161803398874989]

Keep the damn thing.

[leadchipmunk]

Keep the damn thing.

Awesome! And given to the man most deserving of the card too.

But digits, I think you misspelled your name...

[161803398874989]

Awesome! And given to the man most deserving of the card too.

But digits, I think you misspelled your name...

That's not my name, that's my signature.

[BarefootDawsy]

Cmon Snake, you're better than that! You're heartbroken now and it feels like shit but you'll get over her and be back dead lifting bears again before you know it.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

If anyone knows how to contact Snake outside the forum, now is a good time to do it. He may not be checking all of our responses right now, he said he'd be leaving the forum for a while. I don't know how serious he was, but he did mention suicide. Hopefully just an offhand comment, but possibly not. Snake, if you are checking, I'm sorry for what happened to you and as you can obviously see, we reject your resignation and understand if you need time to deal with this latest setback. We'll be here when you're ready to start sluggin again.

[Jcannon98188]

Emailed him. We'll see if he responds and comes back or not.

[Guest Snake McClain]

you guys are ridiculous. and i mean that in a good way. let me clear something up. i'm not going to kill myself. i just want to waste away and die of pure laziness. i have no strength or energy left in me.

thank you to all of you for all of your kind and supportive words. i'm reading these and i have a ton to say to all of you but just no fucking energy for it right now. a few key points...

1) for telling me i am a rock on this community...this is weird to hear because she called me that. her rock to lean on when everything was crazy...my family has said this too. its nice to see it and hear it from some people that actually repay it when i need it most. So thank you all for that.

2) I love the snake mcclain man card. I will be making this my computer desktop now. There is a photo on it that needs to be replaced with something positive anyway.

3) all of you...thank you. i cant even tell you what it means to have this great community come through and back me up. I can honestly say that there is no better community of men I have ever known or had contact with in my entire life.

4) now i desperately want the men's camping trip to happen.

I am very realistically going to take a few days still and be m.i.a. just to clear my head. get my emotional state back on track. i'm not sure if laying in bed all day is a good answer or if it needs to be the exact opposite and i go out and do all the things. its an odd position ive never had to consider before. the only reason i dont want to go out is because the look in my eyes and posture is one of sadness...not defeat. but i am crumbled right now and i dont want to be seen this way.

thank you. every body. seriously.

[The Tin Man]

Bruce, you're a good guy.

I am very realistically going to take a few days still and be m.i.a. just to clear my head. get my emotional state back on track. i'm not sure if laying in bed all day is a good answer or if it needs to be the exact opposite and i go out and do all the things. its an odd position ive never had to consider before. the only reason i dont want to go out is because the look in my eyes and posture is one of sadness...not defeat. but i am crumbled right now and i dont want to be seen this way.

thank you. every body. seriously.

This sounds like a good idea. It sounds like you need to clear your head to get in a better place. I wouldn't be surprised at all if after a couple days of taking it easy your body and mind will start to crave activity.