Men ONLY please...

[Guest Snake McClain]

How's your dad doing? Is it anything real bad?

well my dad had another stroke. he's home and doing better(ish). He's had a few of these. It's always scary initially. We don't know what will happen when he gets to the hospital and all that. After that it's just a matter of when does he get better? Slow recovery time.

I really don't know what the fuck's up right now. Yesterday I was at the store to buy some milk, and I didn't even look the girl behind the counter in the eye. She wasn't particularly pretty and she didn't have anything special about her, you know, just a girl. But somehow all my confidence is just gone. I just wasn't comfortable. I mean, what the fuck. When I was on vacation, I had two nights just ruined. One because my friends just left me looking for there after I had to wait 15 minutes to get beer for all of us and another because one of my friends tried to bring me into contact with this girl and the first thing she said to me was: "Your shirt is a size too large". That absolutely turned every switch in my brain to rejection mode. If I don't like something, my first impulse is to grab a baseball bat and smash it to pieces. And that comment ended up pretty much fucking up my night. I just wasn't feeling it. Then the night after that a few of my friends just went off to play pool (there were a few pool tables at the place we were in), but didn't bother to ask me to go with them, despite knowing that I really enjoy playing pool. And just like that the night wasn't enjoyable to me anymore. And like the night before I just went off and found a nice quiet spot to be alone. I felt out of control, rejected. As if I couldn't be sociable. And now I'm definitely not some social butterfly that just talks to anyone as easily as to their mother, but I can handle myself and make it through a conversation without 'dropping my spaghetti', as it is known on a certain imageboard.

That and my injuries still not getting better (knee, elbow and shoulder all on the right side) have given a huge blow to my confidence. I was getting more awesome every day, and now I don't know what the fuck I am doing. I can't squat, I can't deadlift. I can't do RDLs anymore because my trap is fucking up as well. I can do a couple of chins, but can't really train them. Pushups hurt. Rows hurt. Everything but handstand, plank, arch, hollow, deadhang and PB support fucks me up in some way or another. And my program is good. My sleep is good. My nutrition is good. I'm nineteen. My abilities should improve easily, but instead I end up with pain. I seriously don't remember what it's like to not have pain anywhere.

And maybe worst of all is that I don't want to talk about it with others. If someone asks me how I'm doing, I'll answer honestly, but if they keep asking I just lock up and don't want to talk about it. Why, I don't really know. Maybe I'm afraid they won't understand. Because never have I met someone that understood me. Not even my bloody own mother gets what's going on and she's on top of the list of people who know me well.

So I tried to make a coherent post, but that didn't work out. I was going to joke that I had discovered where my swag went; that Atalan had stolen it. But I'm just not in the mood. So I ended up with this incoherent rambling.

Just going to throw something out there, bud. First of all we ALL have shitty days. all of us. we all have crappy crap crap days that put us down. confidence can come and go to a point. just remember that those two or three or whatever people are just people. they make mistakes. and they are only a few people. perhaps your friends just forgot? perhaps your shirt was a size too large. who cares (about the shirt)? And maybe just mention to your friends you'd like to hang out and next time they go you'd like to get some game time in too.

Also my confidence gets down when i don't work out. when i'm injured. it could have a lot to do with that. Just hang in there. Fake the confidence. pretend to be greater than you are. act like bruce wayne (a friend gave me that advice the other day).

[Guest Snake McClain]

How's your dad doing? Is it anything real bad?

As a preliminary step, you can get jeans in a darker wash (with no holes, etc.) and pair that with button down shirts. If you're looking for something beyond that I have no idea. Jeans are my go-to clothing. Unless I need a suit, then I rent a low-key tux.

yeah dark jeans. my issue is finding them that fit me properly. thats always tough.

[Church]

I hate jeans shopping. That being said, I have to go again soon. I'm starting to look like a hood-rat. The waist band is creeping decidedly downward

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

I've been having problems finding jeans loose enough in the thighs to fit me lately, all these squats are working too well. That said, I bought a pair of Levi 569's and they fit awesome.

[azsf]

ah jean woes, try being thin and over 2 meters tall in terms of fashion, you'd be well served to pick a style and try to follow that. check out some celebrities who you think have good taste, and then pick up a handful of items that you can blend (rather than buying an outfit). personally i usually wear neat casual for work (jeans + polo/collared shirt), slightly more 'hipster' out and about (jeans + wide neck tees/singlets + hoodie). and of course track pants + long tee/singlet every other waking moment xD

[CyningaDena]

When I started teaching and had to dress like an adult, I built a wardrobe by doing two things:

(1) I bought two week's worth of "grown up" clothes from Target and Penney's. Then I budgeted to buy one quality item of clothing every month. Target and Penney's actually don't make you look like an utter tool. You don't look like Usher, but you can shop those sales and they'll hold you over while you build the rest more slowly.

(2) I found a locally-owned men's clothing store. I get Esquire magazine, so whenever I saw a style I liked, I'd cut that photo out. When I made my monthly visit with the money I'd set aside for clothes, I asked the guys there what made that style look so good and if I could pull it off. The folks there were genuinely interested in sharing their expertise (unlike the bored twenty-somethings in the box stores at the mall), and after a few months they got a feel for my tastes and started making awesome suggestions. I had zero fashion sense, so this was the boon. They've since talked me into a bow tie that became "lucky," showed me how to match tie knots to collar types, taught me how to make basic tailoring adjustments so my pants fit like I'm sex on legs, and convinced me to give up athletic socks unless I'm being athletic.

Support your local businesses, and they'll support you!

[Guest Snake McClain]

i actually just got a lead to a thrift store in our artsy part of town that carries some clothing for men. some of it is quite fashionable.

I love the idea of cutting out a photo and going into a store and saying, "this. i like this. help me." lol

Seriously my plan right now is maybe 3 pairs of jeans/pants and getting a bunch of shirts or sweaters and a jacket or two. get the stuff over time in the next couple months to get me what i would like. Any websites anyone can think of to lead to a look?

[Church]

When I started teaching and had to dress like an adult, I built a wardrobe by doing two things:

(1) I bought two week's worth of "grown up" clothes from Target and Penney's. Then I budgeted to buy one quality item of clothing every month. Target and Penney's actually don't make you look like an utter tool. You don't look like Usher, but you can shop those sales and they'll hold you over while you build the rest more slowly.

(2) I found a locally-owned men's clothing store. I get Esquire magazine, so whenever I saw a style I liked, I'd cut that photo out. When I made my monthly visit with the money I'd set aside for clothes, I asked the guys there what made that style look so good and if I could pull it off. The folks there were genuinely interested in sharing their expertise (unlike the bored twenty-somethings in the box stores at the mall), and after a few months they got a feel for my tastes and started making awesome suggestions. I had zero fashion sense, so this was the boon. They've since talked me into a bow tie that became "lucky," showed me how to match tie knots to collar types, taught me how to make basic tailoring adjustments so my pants fit like I'm sex on legs, and convinced me to give up athletic socks unless I'm being athletic.

Support your local businesses, and they'll support you!

^^^this^^^ is phenomenal advice. There IS a shop in town that I've been meaning to check out, I think that now I simply MUST step in there. I still like looking like a 20-something kid, especially now that I'm slimming into a more natural(re: awesome) look. But I also want to dress like an honest-to-goodness grown-up from time to time. It'd be nice to begin building this now, while I'm young and reasonably secure financially, but also don't have a lot of extra responsibilities (family, home repairs, medical expenses, etc.).

I'll definitely be becoming a regular customer there once I get settled in my new place. Also, I need to find a new place.

Speaking of which; I have something of a dilemma, that I'm sure I know how to handle, but seeing as how there's guys of all ages here, I'd like to put it to the Man-Council.

I live with my step-dad and his girlfriend (it's complicated, but they're basically my mom and dad, blood be damned) and I'm paying a decent chunk of change for rent. I make good money and could easily afford to live on my own, and I feel that it's high time I did. But I'm not sure how to bring this up with the folks. I'm thinking that the situation is extra complicated by the fact that I'm rarely home (only about 6 days a month). I've stayed with them this long, despite being financially stable for the last year and a bit, because I'm never at home. But it's getting to where I just *know* that I need my own space.

How would you recommend I approach this issue with my parents?

[leadchipmunk]

Snake, I see that you've already been lead to thrift shops. They're awesome places to get great deals on good clothes. Even if stuff doesn't fit exactly right, you can usually take it to a tailor and get it adjusted and still come out spending less.

I have been taking to wearing properly fitted dark jeans and cargos with white v-neck shirts all the time. I prefer a "slim straight" (can't remember the Levi's number for them) since they have the best fit for me in the calves. Straight legs or relaxed fit just look too baggy below the knee on me.

Also, make sure whatever style pants/jeans you get fit right. Drop into a squat (or sit down) and look at your ankles. If you can see one to two inches of your socks, then they are proper fitting. And if your socks are white, buy new ones and throw the old ones out. White athletic socks aren't for everyday wear. Get some in black, and get a few in solid colors when you want that little pop.

And finally, with the button up shirts, go for a fitted look. Avoid cheap Wal-mart brand stuff that has giant arm holes and is generally really baggy. A good rule of thumb is to tuck the shirt in (even if you don't normally wear it tucked in) and lift your arm all the way up. If it untucks itself, don't buy it.

[realbrickwall]

Speaking of which; I have something of a dilemma, that I'm sure I know how to handle, but seeing as how there's guys of all ages here, I'd like to put it to the Man-Council.

I live with my step-dad and his girlfriend (it's complicated, but they're basically my mom and dad, blood be damned) and I'm paying a decent chunk of change for rent. I make good money and could easily afford to live on my own, and I feel that it's high time I did. But I'm not sure how to bring this up with the folks. I'm thinking that the situation is extra complicated by the fact that I'm rarely home (only about 6 days a month). I've stayed with them this long, despite being financially stable for the last year and a bit, because I'm never at home. But it's getting to where I just *know* that I need my own space.

How would you recommend I approach this issue with my parents?

"Mom, Dad, I think it's time I moved out and got my own place"

Seriously, they are almost definitely going to support this decision. And, if they don't, then they are being INCREDIBLY selfish. But that's really not a likely scenario. It takes a special kind of crazy for parents to attempt to prevent a 20-something with stable income from moving out. Honestly, they're probably hoping you do, but don't want to kick you out.

And, if they are crazy, pack in secret, then, on the moving day, assemble your friends so that you can get all your stuff out of their house before they can get the cops over.

[KillerGriller]

Snake - I'm hardly a paragon of fashion but I have learned a few things over the years. I generally buy things that I can mix and match with existing pieces of my wardrobe. As long as your choices aren't too outlandish you should be able to switch things up whenever you please and it gives you more flexibility. Beige and black pants work with almost anything. That being said, don't shy away from getting few unique things that show your personality (bow-tie mentioned above). Also, figure out what colours work for you and which don't. Do you look good in primary colours or dark? Bright or subdued tones? etc. There's nothing worse than finding something that fits your body and wallet but makes you look like the walking dead.

Church - You might be surprised at how easy it might be. Most parents I know are pretty supportive of their adult children moving out (if they can afford it), your folks might want their own space just as much as you do. Try bringing it up at a meal when you are all together and not rushed, be genuine & honest and tell them that you think it's time for you to move on to the next phase of your life. With how much you are away from the house anyway, you'll still have 2-3months or more before you can do anything anyway, so they should have lots of time to adjust to the idea.

[161803398874989]

...are we at page 100 yet?

[KillerGriller]

...are we at page 100 yet?

No page turn glory for you!

[KillerGriller]

No page turn glory for you!

or me...

[KillerGriller]

or me...

apparently...

[Church]

That's more or less what I'm thinking. Of doing, is just saying "I think it's time I start looking for a place of my own." thanks for the input guys.

[Jcannon98188]

Yeah I have been watching this thread forawhile, waiting for it to hit page 100

[KillerGriller]

Does enticing it to turn make it less authentic?

[KillerGriller]

[Jcannon98188]

This is awesome. And yes, I think it does make it less authentic.

[Artinum]

Ooh, I love those covers. Cracked.com does articles on them occasionally!

[CyningaDena]

Egads, not teen-agers in black leather jackets! This used to be such a nice neighborhood.

[realbrickwall]

That cover would be even more awesome if the squirrels were suddenly bears. All of them.

The Cracked articles tend to bore me, though.

[161803398874989]

WE PAGE 100 NOW

[Jcannon98188]

WE PAGE 100 NOW

Still 99...

But this one is page 100 whooooooooooo!