A random guy appears

[Monarch Dodora]

Urrgh.

 

Urrrrrrrgh.

 

Fiiine, let's give this thing a try.

 

Salut, all, I'm a guy from a place. England, specifically. Derbyshire, more specifically than that. And I'm here to sort through the crusted t-shirts and week-old-undergarments that coat the bedroom floor of my life, and find out if there really is a carpet under there.
 

I'm one of those porridge-flavoured mediocre-types whose fitness, like most things about me, is 'ehh, not-bad', and always has been 'ehh, not-bad', and consequently I've meandered through life in that vaguely confused manner that's never dreadful enough to attract the critics but never good enough to accomplish any damn thing, until I find myself at the age of thirty with the general physique of a sockful of custard and no aspirations or prospects beyond 'die at some point'.

 

Soo I figure what's the harm in trying to become a totally ripped martial artist?

 

So that's my mission. Get good-looking and learn to bodyslam people, so I can... uh... look good while bodyslamming people. Something like that.

 

(Gods I've been sitting here for twenty minutes trying to think of a pithy way to end this post and I just can't dammit so I'm just gonna like end it here really abruptly or something)

 

[Evicious]

Welcome to the Rebellion!!!  I've never met a custard sock before, but you know what they say - "It takes all kinds..." And as custard happens to be one of my all-time favorite desserts, I'm especially pleased to meet you. I'm also very confident that the Assassin's Guild will be happy to add a new food group flavor member to their ranks.  

[Bookish Badger]

Welcome! I think you'll find this community is very supportive and helpful. I think that looking good while bodyslamming people is an excellent goal (as long as they deserved the bodyslamming of course).

 

6 hours ago, Monarch Dodora said:

sockful of custard

 

Reminds me of a fantasy story I read years & years ago about a sack of custard. A man was minding his own business when his cat came in carrying a sack of custard, dropped it in the man's lap, said, "Guard this with your life!" and ran out. He had no idea what that was about or why his cat was talking, but he figured if it was important enough for his cat to suddenly generate the power of speech, fine he'd guard it. 

 

He fended off many magical attacks (using only mundane means, poor human) over the weekend. After his cat returned home on Sunday, he found out that his cat was the King of Cats and that the custard was just....custard. It had been a ruse to distract his enemies who were planning a coup. The ruse worked, the enemies were routed, and the cat never spoke again.

 

Makes sense to me; only a cat would put custard in a sack. Seems like it would leak everywhere and make a mess.

 

(I don't always ramble like that, but when I do, it's usually about books I've read.)

[SpecialSundae]

Hey! 

 

Welcome to the Rebellion!

 

Loads of British Nerds around! We're gathering in Edinburgh in October and I will actually be spending a few days in Derbyshire in September.

 

You heading for the Monks? 

 

Sundae

[Grymm]

I always say "better a sockful of custard than a stocking full of flan."  Looking forward to the progress videos of you body slamming people for reps.