Hopefully on the right track for good this time.

[RainbowRivaini]

Hey everyone!

 

I just wanted to pop in and introduce myself. I'm a big fantasy and sci-fi nerd, a gamer...and in what is probably the worst shape of my life. Oops.  I've been trying for about eight years to lose the weight I've been gaining, but I've had no success so far, no matter what I've tried. I know now that what was really holding me back was my mindset, and after an experience I had today, I think I'm realistically in a place now where I can get down to business. At least, I hope so. 

 

I've struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life, although I was only formally diagnosed seven years ago. I'm a university student and a separated mother of one kiddo. I was in good shape in high school (I've never been terribly athletic, but I was in a medieval recreation group and did rapier fighting) and for a year after when I lived in the Netherlands as an au pair because I rode my bike everywhere...but once I got back home, everything started going downhill and as the weight came on, my self-esteem and feelings of worth went way down. I've struggled with myself ever since, and I've done my share of yo-yo dieting and trying to change everything about my life at once in an attempt to be a "better person". 

 

This time, my changes are smaller. I can use the gym at my university for free, and I've started with a goal of going at least three times a week. So far, so good (for the last two weeks). I'm watching my portions without letting myself go hungry. I bought a fitbit, which I love because I can have walking competitions with my friends and my hugely competitive side LOVES that. I've been playing Pokemon Go, which encourages me to get out and walk more and isn't hard to make myself do because it doesn't feel like exercise, it's just fun. 

 

And today? Today was huge for me. I was planning to go to the gym after class, but I forgot my hair elastic when I packed my gym bag. I have long hair and I'm prone to overheating, so I can't work out without my hair tied up. It annoys me AND overheats me, neither of which is good when I'm trying to get myself going. Now, in all of my past attempts, past!me would have been like, "well, that's that, no workout today," and jumped on the bus and come home and crashed out in front of netflix or a video game. Present!me, on the other hand, used the opportunity to walk home (about a 35 minute walk in my current state of fitness) and then did the beginner's bodyweight workout from on here. 

 

I'm sore, tired, and proud of myself for doing that, even when the bus pulled up to the stop just as I was leaving campus and I could have easily gotten onto it. I looked at it, turned Hamilton up a little louder, and kept walking. 

 

I think this time might be the winning one, and I really hope so. I'm grateful to have found NF, the articles have already been a huge help to me and I'm hoping I can push past all of my shyness to become active on the forums as well. 

 

And this became a novel which I was so not intending, lol, so I'm going to shut up now, oops. If you read this, thanks, if not, don't worry I don't blame you! haha. 

[AmyUncharted]

Welcome! And way to go with that walk! It takes such a strong person to say "no" to netflix and video games to go workout, so that's awesome! I'm sorry you have struggled with depression. It certainly makes life and exercise a lot more difficult. There are quite a few of us who can relate to that. You will find a good support system here. I wish you luck on your journey! 

[Blueberries]

Welcome to NF! It sounds like you're on a really good path to creating good habits already. So awesome!

 

I LOLed, because I'm so with you on the hair thing. Good for you for not letting that derail your plan! Sometimes it's about how we respond to those curveballs that really makes a difference.

[Scatterbunn]

Welcome, I'm fairly new here myself. I have also struggled with "sticking with it." I will eat right and exercise for a while, then get lazy, sticking with it is so hard and therer are so many reasons (excuses) not to workout/eat right. Congratulations on not giving into temptation today, keep up the good work.

[RainbowRivaini]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement! I did make it to the gym today for some cardio after work and I'm feeling sore but good about it. I can't wait until Friday...it's payday and I can finally get some decent food into the house. lol. 

 

And now, I'm going to go lose myself in Mass Effect for awhile, because I've earned it. haha. 

[m rips]

Hi! Welcome friend

 

I have a fitbit as well, wanna be friends?! I decided to respawn today after a long talk with myself and I'm also hoping this will be it, the time it really sticks yanno?

[RainbowRivaini]

Congratulations on your respawn! I'd love to be fitbit friends. I believe in you. You can do this! 

[imprimis5]

Oh wow. The hair thing resonates so much with me. I've used the excuse of not having anything to hold my hair back as an excuse not to go to the gym before, for sure. Well, my solution? I bought a pack of no-slip hair ties specifically to live in my gym bag.

 

Anyway, well done and welcome!

[RainbowRivaini]

Oooh, that's a great idea. I might do that as well, especially since I'm getting myself an awesome gym-specific bag today as my reward for sticking with my exercise goals for the first two weeks.

 

Thanks!