What women love about men.

[Bekah]

Also Casey Jones. And Super Shredder.

 

And Raphael. Pretty much all the cool characters combined.

 

 

Totally serious. I used to be really self-conscious but now I've decided to wear that shit like a badge. They told me my younger brother also is, but he's charming as hell so they usually think he's a sociopath.

 

Thanks. Mostly everything I post has some sort of humor in it, because why not?

 

 

Why thank you. Apparently it's an issue of recognition then; I can't even tell when I'm doing it. Maybe something to work on.

 

I applaud you as a mother. I recall how much shit my mom had to put up with from both my brother and me. It's a tough gig that not a lot of people would be able to understand. Serve in silence.

 

Well I assure you, I am much much more charismatic online than I am in real life, where I have to deal with timing and nonverbals and context. But thank you. One does one's best.

 

 

 

 

Haha. It was explained to me that I'm the type of guy that older women would like, and I would be killing it when I hit my 20s. Still waiting, though maybe I should look harder, because apparently I've been missing a lot of indicators. That or I just don't know what to do with them. (e.g. "Are you single?" "Yeah. Why?" "'Cause you're so hot. You should be mine." "Hahaha. [changes topic]")

Here is my 37 cents on autistic people and flirting, because yeah, I get it too (I also have Autism and am not ashamed of it at all, and am a ridiculous flirt, not that you couldnt have guessed that last bit )

I "think" that we (Autistics) are better able to pick up on the overt flirtation in movies/tv/life because it's generally very overdone in a humorous way, so we learn a.) this makes people laugh, b.) they will know I like them and c.) it can always be "laughed off" if we make a faux pas. Plus, its easily fakeable, where geniune interactions are MUCH harder to understand and/or accomplish, although in the case of a girl, it can and will go awry if the guy is a douchecanoe and she will have no idea...I only recently realized that my default conversational style is flirtatious and that it is the reason every guy I talk to for more than ten minutes who is the least bit lecherous, tried to get in my panties (in real life, not around here...which is one reason I love it here so much)

but yeah, Im digressing, I cant read body language worth a shit (my vision doesnt help that at all ) and miss real life innuendoes until its to the point of "do you want to see my house/room etc" which I then misconstrue as they really wanted me to see something in their home and until they get naked, dont "get it"....but here...its not like that, I seem funny and witty and charming (I think) and like I "get it" but thats bc the flow of the conversation almost has a pattern and there are many pat replies that are appropriate in context that we can learn and hone their usage over time, to appear socially adept, and have the time to think and analyze and respond appropriately here, but real life interactions dont give that time, so they go much differently and I, for one, miss the difference between innocent flirting and douchecanoe flirting. so flirting here is vastly preferably and I have almost entirely stopped speaking to people in the real world, not that they approach me in the first place bc Im not 22 and thin anymore, but still.

So in essence, it's all an act, and a very emotionally, mentally and physically draining one (in real life at least) and most people will never know that I/we don't "get it" the way everyone else does bc we figured out how to interact reasonably well by adulthood, but the understanding isnt there.

[Guzzi]

I think that's very true for more people than you realise...

 

Thank you for summing up that point in such an eloquent and insightful way.  You are such a sweetheart xx

[Thrillho]

As a "delightfully quirky" (read: the sort of autistic that people find oddly charming) person, I definitely agree with all of that. I became very good at communicating with the written word, because the written word DID WHAT I WANTED IT TO.  Spoken words always betrayed me. 

[Machete]

I probably can't add much to this thread, as I had to endure 42 failed relationships [and two attempts on my life] before I met D'Wife

 

~ Carry on ~

 

WOW. What would one consider a "relationship"? The line seems blurry to me.

 

Nope, I can honestly claim that I've only had one boyfriend and that he was the only guy I've ever even kissed. Ever.

Ok, so we were together for a long time, but on the fewest number of relationships league - I'm pretty hard to beat

 

I've been in a 14-year monogamous relationship with internet porn. Haha

 

If your only innuendo is "that's what she said" and giggling at naughty words used in an un-naughty way, I would probably tell you to grow up too. They have to be clever, or it doesn't work!

 

(0:31)

 

I only recently realized that my default conversational style is flirtatious and that it is the reason every guy I talk to for more than ten minutes who is the least bit lecherous, tried to get in my panties (in real life, not around here...which is one reason I love it here so much)

 

Maybe it's because they REALLY like Hello Kitty.

[Guzzi]

There is not a single bit of that^^^^^ post I do not love

[Bearded_Dragon]

in-YOUR-END-o...

[Guzzi]

Bahahaha! :D

Ok, that was probably THE single most childish innuendo in the history of innuendo.

I LOVE IT!

[Barfly]

in-YOUR-END-o...

 

you wish

[Liberator]

I am just catching up on this thread… so funny! I feel like I should make a round of martinis for everyone and just laugh my head off at all the great comments!

 

Love you all! 

[insanity]

I am just catching up on this thread… so funny! I feel like I should make a round of martinis for everyone and just laugh my head off at all the great comments!

 

Love you all! 

Appletini sounds good to me... :-D

[Thrillho]

In that vein, one submitted from my wife:

 

Thrill-Wife: "I love being the one that drinks the manly drinks in the house!"

 

She loves her stouts, her porters, and her other miscellaneous dark-as-feck beers, while I love my "girlie drink" whisky sours and scotch-and-sodas. 

[Barfly]

Cosmo, please

[Spark]

A friend of mine says, "Once you get much past 'beer' and 'straight whiskey,' it all turns pretty girly pretty quickly."

 

Makes my Bay Breezes a little easier to swallow.

[insanity]

A friend of mine says, "Once you get much past 'beer' and 'straight whiskey,' it all turns pretty girly pretty quickly."

 

Makes my Bay Breezes a little easier to swallow.

No truer words...

 

I can remember sitting at a bar, and the bartender asked what I wanted, so me being me... "Surprise me"

 

What I got was something called Boo Boo Kitty Punch... it was practically every flavor of vodka they had, and to this day I'm not sure how she made it turn neon purple... but damn was it good...

[Liberator]

I love ordering at a bar, bartenders always seem to give me respect when I order an absolute martini, two olives, shaken, up…. of course, I have also walked out of places that didn't have absolute or grey goose. I have turned heads just ordering at the bar! Fun!

[Barfly]

I love ordering at a bar, bartenders always seem to give me respect when I order an absolute martini, two olives, shaken, up…. of course, I have also walked out of places that didn't have absolute or grey goose. I have turned heads just ordering at the bar! Fun!

Who are you, James Bond?

[Liberator]

Haha, learned to live without beer, (skin issues )… James Bond knew what he was doing… Sometimes I go for an Old Fashion, muddled of, course!

[Guzzi]

Hahaha! We've turned ALL THE THREADS into drinking threads! Love it!

Liberator- mine's a Gin & Tonic if you please

[Oramac]

I can remember sitting at a bar, and the bartender asked what I wanted, so me being me... "Surprise me"

 

Pro tip: Bartenders HATE when people do that, unless you're a regular or tip like Drew Carey.  

[insanity]

Pro tip: Bartenders HATE when people do that, unless you're a regular or tip like Drew Carey.  

It was slow and she seemed to enjoy it... there was only 3 of us at the bar.

 

I wouldn't do it if it was a crowded bar....

[Barfly]

and I usually narrow it down a bit with "what do you have that's dark and hoppy?"

[Machete]

Cosmo, please

 

Always a popular choice, along with a Kamikazes and Lemon Drops. (I usually put them in the plastic cups without the garnish, so the guys wouldn't be too embarrassed about drinking them.) I don't recall Appletinis being that big with my co-workers. My greatest hits though were the Long Island Iced Tea, the AMF, the Tennessee Lemonade, and the Tennessee Peach Tea.

 

Pro tip: Bartenders HATE when people do that, unless you're a regular or tip like Drew Carey.  

 

You know what bartenders hate even more? Someone who orders a Mojito. (Unless he's cheap and lazy, and uses prepared mixes.)

 

I love ordering at a bar, bartenders always seem to give me respect when I order an absolute martini, two olives, shaken, up…. of course, I have also walked out of places that didn't have absolute or grey goose. I have turned heads just ordering at the bar! Fun!

 

I would have taken you for a classic Gin Martini-type.

 

and I usually narrow it down a bit with "what do you have that's dark and hoppy?"

 

[Barfly]

In a tall glass, please

[humanperson832]

Since we're talking drinks, can I just share a quick story? I went to go get a drink with my girl/former roommate on Mardi Gras one year. The bar had people in it, but wasn't anywhere near crazy. I ordered a bloody mary, because that's what I felt like drinking at that moment. The bartender rolls her eyes at me, turns to my friend and says, "Do you know what you want? Hers is going to take a while." My friend hesitated for a single beat in answering her and the bartender stormed off to start on my drink.

 

I still tipped, because I've worked in the service industry and I could never be that person, but damn. She sure tested me that day. (Do you find that you're more incensed by bad service because of working in the service industry, or do you let it slide more? Weigh in, folks. I'm curious.)

 

Oh, right. I like dudes who take the time and effort to smell nice. A good cologne is a huuuuuge thumbs up. AMIRITE, ladies??

[Flex Luthor]

The fact that she works in the service industry does not mean she should automatically be tipped. I don't expect much and usually tip as well. Even a mistake is ok in my book but being a giant bitch is not and she didn't deserve a tip. You were very nice.