Battle of the Bulge

[Elliott907]

Gah.  I'm not sure what to say here, but I know that I need something to keep me accountable.  Urgh. 

 

Allons-y! 

 

I'm a newb.  I have tons of knowledge, and know things in theory, but when it comes to practice, I suck.  Hard.  I lose motivation far too easily, and when things hurt, I don't do it.  I've been taught not to do stuff that hurts, since I have chronic pain, but that's not helping me at all.  So, I'm going to try to work through it this time, finally.  Right now I want to focus on my diet, and do some easy exercise, but eventually will start going to the gym again. 

 

Here's my start.  Here's today.   Almost 23 years old, 5'8", 317 pounds.  When I tell people this, they seem genuinely surprised, so hopefully that means I carry it as well as I'm told.  But no matter how not-fat I look, I am.  And I'm tired of it.  I'm making changes. 

 

So I have a few goals.  Some may be my 6-week challenges, others may be a month-long thing, but these are some of my most immediate things to work on and build habits for, in no certain order:

• Lose 30 pounds by 12/21/14
• Get to bed with no distractions by 11PM on weekdays
• Eat a healthy breakfast each weekday
• Take a walk at lunch each weekday

I have a couple short-term life goals, too:

• Pay $200.00 to my medical debt
• Save $500.00 for a school trip in December
• Put $300.00 a month into savings account (and don't spend it!)

I'm hoping that by taking care of myself, I can eventually stop hurting my damn self (not self-harm, just general health weakness/dumbassery) and get out from under my medical debt.  I want to eventually be under 200 pounds, because I am tall and have a big frame (wide shoulders, hips, ribcage, the whole thing).  I worry that my "ideal weight" is under 180, which seems far too thin, but I want to eventually get myself (and maintain!) a weight between 175-190.  But first, I want to lose 30 pounds and get fitter by my trip to Chicago in December (which actually won't be til the 26th, but holidays SUCK). 

 

So, yeah.  This is my new beginning. 

 

Lunch time, good time for a walk!

[marymama08]

Accountability is very helpful. Keep us posted on how you are doing so we can cheer you on!!! My friend gave me a book called The Beck Diet Solution and I am finding it very helpful with my eating habits. It is NOT a diet, it is a new way to take over your life and how you see food. That same awesome friend bought me a fitbit and it is great. I set my step goals on it and when I see that I am short on a goal I try to do something to bring it up to where I want it. I find it fun to see my stats smile at me

Good Luck, I will check in on you, check in on me I NEED accountability too.

 

And yes I am a little crazy and did actually enjoy having all of those kids. I was a bit tired at times but I wouldn't change it at all

[Elliott907]

  That same awesome friend bought me a fitbit and it is great. I set my step goals on it and when I see that I am short on a goal I try to do something to bring it up to where I want it. I find it fun to see my stats smile at me

 

Man, I need me one of those.  I keep thinking about it but never get one.  I need a decent HR monitor but the ones I get recommendations for are always waaay outside my budget!

 

Anyway. 

 

7/24, Day 1 (because I didn't officially start recording things until yesterday)

 

Food:

5/8 c steel-cut oatmeal

<1/4 c dried cranberries

<1/4 c sunflower kernals

1 large banana

2 Mentos gum

3 small pulled pork sliders (homemade barbecue sauce, WW buns, dry red cabbage slaw)

1 small popcorn (butter, Italian seasoning, nutritional yeast)

Bowl of frozen yogurt (chocolate/vanilla swirl, spoons of: brownie bits, Heath bar crumbs, cookie dough bits, caramel sauce, fudge sauce)

 

Drinks:

2L water

1/2 small mojito

 

Exercise:

45 minute walk, low intensity

 

 

Yesterday was a little dumb.  I took a walk for 30 minutes at lunch, since I had a short break.  I didn't eat til 3PM, then was ravenous.  I met friends for happy hour before a movie, but everything was just super not good for someone freaking out about her diet.  I chose the pork sliders because the waitress told me the barbecue sauce didn't have sugar, and the slaw was dry.  Figured that was better than the deep fried mac-and-cheese balls, which I reeeeeaally wanted.   I sipped a mojito with my friend. 

 

We went to a film, "Obvious Child" (so good, look it up!).  I decided against the candy and soda and went for a popcorn, since I was still hungry from happy hour; I put on a little butter and salt-free Italian seasoning and some nutritional yeast.  It was yummy!  I don't actually enjoy popcorn, but a half a bag was enough.   After the movie we left, and my friend and I went on a walk around town for a little bit (15-20 minutes) and she decided she wanted ice cream.  We went to the frozen yogurt place, and I had walked in feeling confident, thinking I could be happy with just a bite of hers, but that did not happen.  Five minutes later I have a bowl of yogurt, toppings, and misery.  Gah.  I let it melt so it was gross enough to put me off once I had about half, so there's that, but it made me sad anyway. 

 

Gah. 

 

7/25, Day 2 (part one)

 

Food:

Breakfast sandwich with 3 strips of bacon, 3/4 oz cheese, and 1 Tbl mayo

6 slices white cheddar cheese

2 rice crackers

4 Ritz crackers

 

Drink:

 

Exercise:

 

Okay.  Breakfast was an egg sammy with fixins, and it was nommy.  I'm really digging it.  At work we had a small celebration for payday Friday, our favorite bi-weekly day, and my boss brought in some cheese and crackers.  I'm a sucker for cheese and crackers.  It was delicious, but I'm having trouble resisting my favorite foods.  I'm so used to eating lots of food at once!  I'm trying to get through my snack cravings with some Mentos gum, but it's not really helping and doesn't seem to sit entirely well with me.  Augh. 

 

I don't have internet at home (or a working computer, really), so I'm going to be logging these things at work.  I bought myself a cute little note pad, small enough to fit in my pockets, and I already have a habit of keeping a pen on me, so hopefully this will help.  I put the date on my pages and write what I'm eating, drinking, etc.  Not horrible, but hopefully it's easy enough to remember to do. 

 

Tonight my non-profit has our weekly social event at a nearby lounge/restaurant, and I'm nervous.  I usually order a glass or two of soda, a dessert and/or a dinner item.  I'm trying to fix that by reading at lunch, eating my real lunch around 2PM (another egg sammy) and having a banana around 4:30PM and drinking lots of water before and at the social.  Hopefully that will keep me not-hungry through the evening.  Here's hoping.  Between work and the event, I'm gonna walk around downtown, with lots of hills.  Too bad I'm wearing a skirt and flats, but it'll have to do.  Small steps.

 

I'll keep note of days 3 and 4 while I'm away from internet!

[Elliott907]

7/25 (part two)

Food:
1 Pepsi (with lots of ice)
1 large water
sabj bahar (veggies and paneer cheese dish)
rice
roti

 

Exercise:
½ hour walk, hills

 

Okay.  Went out to my social event, had a soda and then water.  Trying to wean myself off the soda.   Augh.  It’s so yummy!  (Actually it’s not, but it’s convenient and sugary.)  I ended up having 96 ounces of water that day, not bad.  Anyway, social was nice, we chatted for a couple hours, then decided to go out for Indian food.  I didn’t anticipate ordering much, because they cook with tons of coconut (and I’m allergic), but I wanted to spend more time with my people.

 

I ended up finding a coconut-free dish, sabj bahar.  It’s a veggie dish (carrots, cauliflower, green beans, and peas, mostly, with small cubes of toasted paneer cheese.  Super freaking good.  Of course, it wasn’t as good as it could be when I rolled all those delicious veggies in some rice and a slice of roti bread, like an Indian sushi roll… but it was delicious.  I shared the roti with my table and only had a half bowl of rice, which was good.  It could have been worse, I could have eaten all the rice and bread, right?  Right.  Well, it was delicious.  I’m going to make it a recipe so I can put it in MFP and log it properly.  I don’t think it’s super dumb calorie-wise, but it does have that cheese, so I’m sure it’s a bigger number than I think.  I might do a mix of tofu and paneer, to keep the texture but thin the calories a tad.  I was looking at a recipe for it and it calls for tons of oil.  No thanks!  It still looks/sounds delicious, so I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

 

7/26

 

Food:
Pot roast and juices
slow cooked beefy onions and carrots
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Slice of macaroni and cheese
Small slice of cheese bread
Peas
2 Pepsis
Unfortunate amounts of candy

 

Exercise: 
Does running around from meeting to meeting count?  No?  Damn.

 

Saturday sucked.  I meant to go to my OA meeting, but who plans anything at 10AM?  I overslept then couldn’t find the place, so I went back home to snooze til my next meeting.  Got that over, wandered the library (awesome!), grabbed books, and headed to Mom’s house.  It’s the first family night in months!

 

We go to my uncle’s house and I know just by the smells emanating from that house that my diet is screwed tonight, but I ended up not being as bad as I thought I would be, food wise (candy and soda are other matters entirely, though).  I got some good veggies and pot roast, then had a single half-scoop of potatoes and spread them around on my plate to try to fake myself out.  Got a little bit of gravy action going on, a little bit of macaroni and cheese, and a piece of bread, and refrained from going for seconds or the snacks he’d put out beforehand.  Ugh, family dinner nights are amazing.  I ate far too much candy, drank too many sodas, so that sucked, but I tried.  Went home feeling happier than I had in months. 

 

7/27

 

Food:
3 mini biscuits
low fat milk gravy
4 sausage links
2 eggs
Cran/raspberry juice
Udon soup (with extra veggies)
Half a veggie egg roll
Cream Cheese wontons
Half a serving chocolate ice cream
Lots of water

 

Exercise:
Moving and hauling heavy boxes
Particularly aggressive game of pool (totally counts)
Running worst-case-scenarios in my head at shady bar

 

Sunday was a little weird.  I “accidentally†stayed up til 6:30AM reading, and finished my book!  Now I have nothing to read!  It kept me up.  Anyway, met with a friend at noonish, got stuff for breakfast, and went to go make it. My biscuits didn’t turn out the way I wanted, so I ended up making little mini ones for brunch.  Topped with some low-fat milk gravy and accompanied by eggs and sausage, though, made for an awesome brunch with friends.  We were supposed to watch The 10^th Kingdom but the entertainment system wouldn’t work and we gave up.  I went and returned a book and put some more on hold at the library (I love free books) and went home to clean my apartment. 

I went to dinner with a friend I haven’t seen in over 2 years, which was weird but good.  I had soup, hoping it would have been better than anything else, but we managed to get wontons and an egg roll split between us.  Damnit.  I’m not in control, and I was pretty mad at myself last night.  We split a scoop of ice cream then went to a local dive for some pool.  We both are horrid players, but competitive – it quickly devolved into “Who can lose the least†rather than “who will winâ€.  Yikes.  (If we ever play teams against some other people, our name will be The Losers, we determined.) The day was okay, stayed up a little too late on a Sunday, but it was worth it. 

 

7/28 (part 1)

 

Food:
2 “Veggy†sandwiches with spicy mayo
3 strips bacon
Lots of water
3 pieces of gum
 

Exercise:
Burpee stairs (1x3) – holy shit, lemme tell you about these fuckers
inclined push ups (2x5)
lunges (1x5 each leg) – holy shit!
Wall push things (was messing around, felt cool though)
Couple half-hearted crunches

 

Mondays.  Mondays suck.  I hate them.  I also am not eating sugar, or caffeine, which is why this Monday, the beginning of my very first 6WC, sucks.  Big ones. 

 

Okay, complaining aside, I discovered something terribly wonderful.  Or wonderfully terrible, I’m not sure which.  I call them burpee stairs, and I’m sure there’s an official name coined by someone a bigger genius than myself, but holy crap.  So I started at the bottom of the stairs, which is an 8 –step flight of stairs, gotcha?  Okay.  Do the Squat/jump thing, go into inclined push-up, run up the stairs, squat jump, run down the stairs.  Rinse, repeat.  Holy shit.  This.  Is.  Exhausting.  On the plus side, it felt AWESOME once I stopped.  That’s gonna hurt like a biiiiitch.  I also took four steps at the two landings of the stairs, because I’m OCD like that and had to make turning around part of the thing.  Other than that, I did some lunges with the stairs (got deep, but I mean, my leg was  inclined, so not sure the effectiveness of those despite the burn), push-ups, and used the bottom step to anchor myself when pushing hard against the wall.  That was kinda silly.  At lunch I tried for some crunches but only managed three before I felt like I was dying.  Gah.

 

On the plus side, coworkers refilled our collective candy bowl and I keep turning to gum.  I thought I was gonna crack when an office mate brought in some banana bread muffins, but I didn’t!  So proud of myself.  And not one drop of coffee or soda today.  I am working hard to keep this going through tonight, and that’s when it all goes to hell.  Here’s hoping.  Also on the plus side, that silly workout fragment took less than 15 minutes to do, so I can do those a couple times a day at work.  Nice! 

 

Well, that’s that for right now.  I’m updating my battle logs, both for the challenge and personally.  This will be weird.  Double-postings galore!  It'll be a lot of same information, but I think my challenge log will be primarily about the specific goals, and this will be more like... everything?  I don't know.  Gah. 

[Elliott907]

7/28 part two:

 

Food:

2 flatbread pizzas (1/2 c sauce, 2 flatbread tortilla things, 1/2 c cheese, 2 string cheese, 20 turkey pepperoni slices, 1 pepper)

10oz sugar free chocolate skim milk

 

Exercise:

Walking around the grocery and other stores, parking farther from the doors.

 

Well, I didn't eat myself out of hearth and home.  Had to go shopping, and even on an empty stomach, I resisted the delis, snack aisles, last-minute candy bars, and McDonald's on the drive home!  Hell yes!  Went home and made myself two delicious flatbread "pizzas" with an organic and preservative-free sauce, good cheese, turkey pepperoni (of dubious healthiness) and a pepper.  De-freaking-licious.  I even split those with my roommate so I wasn't inhaling the whole thing.  The one thing I would change is that I had intended on making a salad for more veggies, but I was just too tired to chop all the veggies.  I'm making it tonight, though, so I'm feeling good.  For dessert she made chocolate milk using skim milk and her sugar free chocolate sauce, which was good, but I think I would rather have eaten all my calories with veggies and decent protein, but I tried.  At least I managed to put the pepperoni on there, I had been intending on just making a veggie pizza.  So all is not lost.  Paired with my egg sammies, I'm getting in decent food, so I'm happy about that.  I want to make my own English muffins for those, to amp up protein and cut the crap with the preservatives, but that's for when I'm not exhausted. 

 

I rediscovered the hotel workout, I'm happy about that.  I forgot about "reverse crunches", so I can do those at work on break or at lunch.  Awesome. 

 

I've decided I'm gonna write one post for a day, rather than getting to the "right now" that day and posting another one the next.  So, tomorrow, I'll post about today.  So, yeah.  Hopefully that means it'll be better.

 

Headspace:  Pretty good.  I didn't freak out about anything, I was able to get to bed and fall asleep at a reasonable (before 11PM) time last night, and yesterday wasn't as sucky as it was in the morning.  So, overall, the headspace was good.  Yay! 

[Elliott907]

Tuesday 7/29 (Day Two):

 

Food:

Egg sammich

2 slices bacon

1.5 cup homeade "fried" brown rice (with tons of veggies and eggs)

Rice salad with steak bits (and too much dressing)

1 Angry Orchard hard cider

1 glass sugar free skim chocolate milk

 

Exercise:

Stairs.  Lots of stairs.

 

Okay, I'm finding a pattern quickly forming.  I can't keep drinking chocolate milk, and that near-beer needs to not make its way into my hand, either.  Also, food at mom and dad's house is delicious and too tempting.  I at least piled a big salad with some rice (3/4 cup?) and some beef with a little cheese, but I defeated the relative goodness of that with blue cheese dressing.  Le sigh.  Trying harder today.  I didn't have a very good few days and I need to get into the swing of things some more.   I didn't make it to bed before 11, dammit, but I'm trying harder today.  I made it to my OA meeting today, and I'm glad I did that.  I hope I can convince myself to get to the Saturday one - it's one of my quests in my challenge!

 

Headspace:  Okay, I guess.  Spent the evening with the folks and had a stressful time trying to book flights for our family trip in September, augh.  That was dumb, but the rest of the evening went well and I was feeling okay.