How do I hit on a dude, like a 'nice' girl?

[Mama T]

but if he says something and makes a joke when your laughing sort of slap him on the arm in a playful way. Not a "Gaston" from beauty and the beast slap. just a girlie thing. i'm sure you've seen it.

haha this cracked me up. a Gaston slap is one way to go, though... "hey you're funny!" *SLAP* "ummm wanna go out?"

also, i've nothing too beneficial to add. you seem super sweet and nice, and he seems like he might be as well. things don't always happen as organically as one would like, but i like the suggestion of thinking of places nearby that you could drop hints about (like the grabbing a smoothie thing).

[morethanjustamom]

I asked my husband out. We were introduced by a mutual acquaintance in a 'nice to meet you, gotta go, bye!' type of situation.

I thought he was so good-looking that I actually tracked him down through a friend, got his number, called him and asked him out. He's six years older than me, so I'm sure a 17 yr old girl calling up to ask him out was a shock, but he said yes.

[msuroo]

I asked my husband out. We were introduced by a mutual acquaintance in a 'nice to meet you, gotta go, bye!' type of situation.

I thought he was so good-looking that I actually tracked him down through a friend, got his number, called him and asked him out. He's six years older than me, so I'm sure a 17 yr old girl calling up to ask him out was a shock, but he said yes.

Lol, nowadays if you are a 23 and getting a date invitation from a 17 year-old you have to look around the corner for Chris Hansen.

[Maggie May]

Lol, nowadays if you are a 23 and getting a date invitation from a 17 year-old you have to look around the corner for Chris Hansen.

HAHAHAHA

[morethanjustamom]

Lol, nowadays if you are a 23 and getting a date invitation from a 17 year-old you have to look around the corner for Chris Hansen.

True...those were the good ole days!

[leadchipmunk]

True...those were the good ole days!

If you weren't the 17 year old girl in this case, people would definitely be taking a second look. I know I did until I saw who posted it.

[morethanjustamom]

If you weren't the 17 year old girl in this case, people would definitely be taking a second look. I know I did until I saw who posted it.

I'm sorry? I guess I'm very stupid today. Was that offensive in some way?

[leadchipmunk]

No, it wasn't offensive.

It was more in relation to the Chris Hansen post; If a 20-some year old guy said those were the days when he could date underage girls, it seems that people would have found that offensive. But that goes with the difference of the times, nowadays with so much out there about underage girls and older men (i.e. Chris Hansen's show) it is more taboo than even 10 years back.

[morethanjustamom]

No, it wasn't offensive.

It was more in relation to the Chris Hansen post; If a 20-some year old guy said those were the days when he could date underage girls, it seems that people would have found that offensive. But that goes with the difference of the times, nowadays with so much out there about underage girls and older men (i.e. Chris Hansen's show) it is more taboo than even 10 years back.

Ahh, gotcha! I don't think my coffee ever kicked in this morning.

[unicornassassin]

OK, so here is what happened... I wish I could cross-reference this to the ARGH thread....

I saw him at the gym in the hallway, and asked if I could give him my number. He said "yeah, um, I'll be right back." So I went and put my backpack in one of the lockers in the hallway and changed my shoes and putzed around for a minute. When he got back he said he asked "what's your number?" so I gave it to him, and he said he'd text me his number. So then he immediately turns around to this woman and kid who have been sitting on the bench and says "OK, you ready to go?"

FML.

No idea if it was a daycare worker, or his wife or girlfriend or what...

[Red1263]

OOOOOOO... >.< I'm sorry to hear that. Well, you can at least learn from this incase another guy comes along your path. I'm really sorry.

On the off chance, it could be his sister and nephew.

[CapN_Tommy_Sunshine]

Ah, that is unfortunate. I only want to add on this whole topic is that some of us guys are pretty clueless (I am definitely) when it comes to women flirting with us. I think someone would need to smack me upside the head and flat out tell me that she was flirting (OK, maybe I am not that clueless, but I definitely have been known to miss it (until later when it is way too late and the girl is gone!)).

[Bumblebee4]

Ow so sorry Unicorn! I had a similar experience today. I thought this really cute nurse at the hospital where my brother is was flirting with me the last couple days, and then today I noticed his wedding ring. Ugh! First time his hands were up where it was noticeable. We live and learn and move on. But perhaps your story will still have a happy ending. Might not be what it looks like. I mean hell, he took your number. Very awkward if that was a wife sitting there waiting for him.

[Guest Gemeaux]

I'm sorry unicorn

[Guest Gemeaux]

Dating sucks balls . I'm staying away from it for a while .

[unicornassassin]

Yeah, I agree that it would have been very awkward if that was his wife. I can't believe I didn't check for a wedding ring *smacks forehead.*

I agree, Gemeaux, dating suuuuucks. But, what can you do? One day I'll meet a dude who doesn't care how awkward I am during the dating phase (and um, how awkward I am during the marriage phase...)

Well, we'll see what happens.

Thanks everyone, this all has been quite enlightening

[Bumblebee4]

Just remember Unicorn that the best thing is to work on being the You that You want to be and you mentioned in your opening that you've spent most of your adult life drunk and with a low self esteem. While you are single is the best time to work on that self esteem. You realize that you are getting fitter, and sexier, and all that all the time and that is a great step and not a baby step! Read some of the books that we've all mentioned and it'll have you more poised when the next opportunity comes up. And major props on being the you that you are now instead of the old you!

[amandolin]

At least you actually took that chance, good for you for that!

[pixieopower]

I am going to say WOOT cuz you did it and gave him your number

and SUXORS cuz of the lady and kid factor.

[leadchipmunk]

That is more Woot! than AAARGH...

You took the initiative to go for it and give him your number. You learned how to be assertive and you are starting to understand that you are a sexy beast. And best of all, you learned to flirt in a way that guys will actually pick up on (and we, the clueless, thank you for that).

My congratulences (condolations?) to you. Congrats for going for it, condolences for it not working out yet. As was said before, there is still a chance that it wasn't his wife/girlfriend if he took your number.

Ah, that is unfortunate. I only want to add on this whole topic is that some of us guys are pretty clueless (I am definitely) when it comes to women flirting with us. I think someone would need to smack me upside the head and flat out tell me that she was flirting (OK, maybe I am not that clueless, but I definitely have been known to miss it (until later when it is way too late and the girl is gone!)).

I am that clueless. I've actually been smacked upside the head multiple times by a friend and told that a girl was flirting with me(which, on one occasion, the girl was still there, and still flirting). That's pretty much how my last relationship got started. Haha

[Guest Gemeaux]

Yes good on ya I would never in a million years have the guts to ask a guy like that . And I agree , it might have been a relative or friend .

Has he texted you yet ?

[So Late So Soon]

Nice unicorn! I wish I had the ability to do that. if it does or doesn't work out with this guy you can always look at it as a learning experience!

[kombimankenny]

Definitely a WOOT in my books, good on ya for asking.

I'll second the Clueless Bloke Syndrome that others have written about as I was another sufferer of this tragic affliction (now I just suffer from Marriage Induced Blindness)

[skip-tracer]

A weirdly large amount of your posts make you sound like the female version of me, Unicorn.

I've definitely be in this situation before and ended up not acting on it at all through lack of experience/ assuming they'd never be interested and I've only ended up regretting it. There's certainly every chance that the woman he was with isn't remotely romantically involved with him, making negative assumptions doesn't help anything. And even if she is at least you've hopefully realised that going out on a limb like that wasn't quite so unbearably embarrassing. At least now he's got your number the potential for anything happening has increased many times over.

Also I second (or third, or fourth) the suggestion that a lot of men are utterly hopeless at picking up on any sort of flirting or attraction from a girl, myself included. Or on the flip-side of that I take every friendly or affectionate gesture as something more. Frankly a lot of us men are utterly useless.

[leadchipmunk]

A weirdly large amount of your posts make you sound like the female version of me, Unicorn.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? You two would be perfect for each other. Though the commute might suck going from Wales to Minnesota.

Also I second (or third, or fourth) the suggestion that a lot of men are utterly hopeless at picking up on any sort of flirting or attraction from a girl, myself included. Or on the flip-side of that I take every friendly or affectionate gesture as something more. Frankly a lot of us men are utterly useless.

There is a lot of man-hate going on in these forums lately. But it is all coming from us guys. Girls, we need some encouragement here.