LGBTQA and Ally Safe Space

[RBC]

Being new to a forum feels to me like wandering around at a party where you don't know anyone, awkwardly trying to find people you might be able to relate to. 

 

This kinda sums up how I feel poking around on the forums right now. Hello everyone. I was really happy to find this thread. I'm just starting off in the NF community, it's nice to know there's family and allies around. 

 

31 year old lesbian in Michigan. I'm a community organizer working with lgbt civil rights and have become keenly aware of just how political the personal can be, even when you have no desire to be put in that box. I find that groups like this and conversations with folks like all of you tends to help. 

 

Looking forward to getting to know you all. 

 

Cheers,

Hit

[scuddle]

queer poly lady here, checking in! I love that I've been away from these forums for so long and this thread has popped up!

[Tkal]

Are we doing another LGBT accountabili-buddies thread for this challenge? I really enjoyed having one for last challenge.

"If you build it, they will come..."

[Hrunter]

Wow, I've missed a lot on here.  LGBT accountabili-buddies thinger could be really awesome!

 

Question:  Anyone have suggestions for resume writing for a pre-ho/pre-op trans person?
 

I've not changed my name legally, so all my documents have my birth name.  But I want (and have to) use my preferred name now that I'm in my Real Life Experience.

 

Aaand what's with the interests section?  I'm nervous to put 'Women's studies, Queer studies, psychology, gender and sexual minority advocacy' on there, but those really are the first ones that come to mind.  >.> Unless I can put Nerd Fitness on there!

 

Thoughts?

[DaygloNirvana]

Hello!

 

Glad to see this thread - and I read all 19 pages of it too!

 

I'm a queer transperson (I prefer "queer" because explaining all facets of my gender and sexuality would just take too damned long).  I live predominantly as male, though occasionally will veer more to the genderqueer or genderf**k side of the spectrum.  I am not on hormones (side effects) but intend on having top surgery when finances allow.  I have a male partner who accepts my gender identity, but having never been in a relationship with someone who is trans, has accepted that we would be viewed as a gay couple.  When I'm not binding my chest, and dressing in "male attire", I get pegged as a butch lesbian.  The buzzed down hair doesn't help much either.

 

As far as how how this effects my experiences working out - it's not the workout that is the problem, it's the locker rooms, it's the stares, and it's the huge-ass mirrors.  I have severe body issues, and I don't want others to see me.  Heck, *I* don't want to see me.  I'm not keen on the idea of working out in front of wall length mirrors and having to see myself like that (in a sports bra, etc.).  I don't want people treating me different because I look like I *might* be a lesbian (which has happened other places).  I definitely don't want to share locker room space with women, who would most likely be just as uncomfortable with me as I am with them.  Thankfully, the gym I'm getting my membership at has private changing rooms/showers.

 

I am hoping that losing some weight and building up some muscle might make binding easier, which will make "passing" easier as well.  I hate the idea of "passing", but that's neither here nor there.

 

Oh, one more thing.  If anyone is interested, I run a website (currently on hiatus) called Transgender Network Tampa.  It is an information and news clearinghouse, though I've had to put it on standby while I dealt with some medical issues.

 

Glad this thread is here, and I'll try to keep up!  Namaste

[DaygloNirvana]

Question:  Anyone have suggestions for resume writing for a pre-ho/pre-op trans person?

 

I've not changed my name legally, so all my documents have my birth name.  But I want (and have to) use my preferred name now that I'm in my Real Life Experience.

 

Aaand what's with the interests section?  I'm nervous to put 'Women's studies, Queer studies, psychology, gender and sexual minority advocacy' on there, but those really are the first ones that come to mind.  >.> Unless I can put Nerd Fitness on there!

 

Thoughts?

 

That's a hard one, I have a few friends who are going through this exact same problem.  Without your name change, you have to cross your fingers and hope that they'll respect your wishes to call you by a different name.  Not all businesses will respect that, regardless of your RLE time.  As far as your resume, it's been so long since I've written one, I have no idea.

 

I'm not sure about the interests part, maybe add Physical Fitness to it?

[RBC]

Wow, I've missed a lot on here.  LGBT accountabili-buddies thinger could be really awesome!

 

Question:  Anyone have suggestions for resume writing for a pre-ho/pre-op trans person?

 

I've not changed my name legally, so all my documents have my birth name.  But I want (and have to) use my preferred name now that I'm in my Real Life Experience.

 

Aaand what's with the interests section?  I'm nervous to put 'Women's studies, Queer studies, psychology, gender and sexual minority advocacy' on there, but those really are the first ones that come to mind.  >.> Unless I can put Nerd Fitness on there!

 

Thoughts?

 

I have several friends who have struggled with this issue. As for the interests section, I think it depends on what field you're going into. I try to tailor my resume to whichever position I'm applying for. I was out of work for a little while and looked EVERYWHERE. When I applied at a company that had a more conservative background, I left off a lot of my women's studies/queer stuff in part because I thought it might hurt my chances and in part because it wasn't relevant to the position. By contrast, when I applied for my current position with a civil rights organization, I covered my resume with my gender, sexuality, and activism stuff. 

 

What type of positions are you applying for? 

[CeeCee]

Wow, I've missed a lot on here.  LGBT accountabili-buddies thinger could be really awesome!

 

Question:  Anyone have suggestions for resume writing for a pre-ho/pre-op trans person?

 

I've not changed my name legally, so all my documents have my birth name.  But I want (and have to) use my preferred name now that I'm in my Real Life Experience.

 

Aaand what's with the interests section?  I'm nervous to put 'Women's studies, Queer studies, psychology, gender and sexual minority advocacy' on there, but those really are the first ones that come to mind.  >.> Unless I can put Nerd Fitness on there!

 

Thoughts?

 

I'm not sure what is customary in your industry.  Could you go with just initials?

As for Interests - is this a required or optional section?  This is usually the first thing to go if I need to cut for space.

[Tkal]

Wow, I've missed a lot on here.  LGBT accountabili-buddies thinger could be really awesome!

I will not do it this time, sorry but I am not and will not be much online during this challenge

 

Question:  Anyone have suggestions for resume writing for a pre-ho/pre-op trans person?

If you are taking hormones and passing, definitely go for your name of choice. Given that you are in your RLE it should be your chosen name anyway.

When I was looking for a job last time I thought "screw it, this is who I am" and I put down my chosen name. Since day 1 I was always open on everything. It was a good thing, I ended up in a cool place where I am as everybody else and nobody ever questioned me (in a good way)

I know I was lucky. But at the end I have always been and it is important to say that it is not compulsory for things to go bad!

 

Aaand what's with the interests section?

Are they relevant? will they create problems? interests in a cv are a "nice to have", but not compulsory. They help the hiring person to get a more rounded view on who you are. If you are applying to something in a really conservative/bigot company, then maybe better to skip it. But to you want to work in such a place?

Anyway, good luck!

[I am Eve]

Hi, here's another newbie saying thank you for this thread. 

I haven't read all nineteen pages but I like what I've seen so far.

If I'm forced to identify I would probably choose queer.

Will be following and participating when I have something to add.

[kketterman]

You have a straight ally with me. I believe that everyone deserves the chance to be open about who they love. I have a bunch of friends who are gay and even a cousin. I think that everyone needs to be able to feel comfortable and unashamed when talking about their orientation and relationships. <3
 

[DaygloNirvana]

Well, it certainly wasn't a goal of mine, but losing weight and doing regular weight lifting ("Starting Strength" program) has certainly seen my breast & bra size plummet (around a 14D to 10C), and my pecs start to be visible (if only to myself).

Have you seen Loren Cameron's pics? His F->M transformation messes with my head. As a straight woman, I find him jarringly attractive. Warning - include some nude pics NSFW.

I totally agree on your first point.  I'm a 40E, and any kind of loss would an absolute blessing!

 

Of course I've seen Loren Cameron!  He's a perfect example of the tremendous effects testosterone can have on a body.  

[RaeVynn]

Just a note to share some joy...

I've performed three same-sex weddings so far, now that wa legalized it.

[Artinum]

Have you seen Loren Cameron's pics? His F->M transformation messes with my head. As a straight woman, I find him jarringly attractive. Warning - include some nude pics NSFW.

 

Woah. That's some transformation. Not my type (cute nerds for me, please!) but very impressive.

[Artinum]

This song just came up on my playlist. Hauntingly beautiful melody...

 

[weirdquark]

I would generally leave interests off a resume, unless you think they'll pique interest in a way that will help you get the job in question. Everyone edits their resume to make themeselves more employable - that's just the name of the game. I will often leave "opera" on my list of interests (when I include it), but don't usually include "Roleplaying - Dungeons & Dragons and Superhero games", for instance.

 

Ditto -- I have that I staffed an Anime convention because I supervised other people and was responsible for creating and running some of the events so that falls under supervision and program management. I put down that I sing when I applied for a performance librarian type job but I don't usually include it.

[Tkal]

If I'm forced to identify I would probably choose queer.

Welcome Evenewbie!

And no, you are not force to identify yourself! Unless you want to  

 

Have you seen Loren Cameron's pics? His F->M transformation messes with my head. As a straight woman, I find him jarringly attractive. Warning - include some nude pics NSFW.

 

I think building muscle is definitely going to make someone look more masculine.

Here I MUST remember Staci definitely masculine...

Muscles help, but in the end for most of the FtM population it is just the effect of hormones (unless one is overweight, then fat covers changes...), as DeJaVoudoo pointed out

 

Just a note to share some joy... I've performed three same-sex weddings so far, now that wa legalized it.

WOW! this is something worthy celebrating! 

 

[RBC]

Just a note to share some joy... I've performed three same-sex weddings so far, now that wa legalized it.

 

Incredible! That is fantastic news 

[PippinPDX]

Just a note to share some joy... I've performed three same-sex weddings so far, now that wa legalized it.

 

Fantastic! There were some beautiful pictures online from the first day of marriage equality in WA.

 

By the way, ally here. Hi everyone! Good luck on the 6-week challenge if you're participating.

[Hrunter]

I am hoping that losing some weight and building up some muscle might make binding easier, which will make "passing" easier as well.  I hate the idea of "passing", but that's neither here nor there.

 

Oh, one more thing.  If anyone is interested, I run a website (currently on hiatus) called Transgender Network Tampa.  It is an information and news clearinghouse, though I've had to put it on standby while I dealt with some medical issues.

 

 

I'm with you on the concept of passing.  I prefer saying 'presenting', less of a 'as something I'm not' connotation attached to it for me.
Sorry to hear about the medical issues.  I'll keep your site in mind though!

 

I had a sit in with the Employment Assistance agency, they said they'll help me tailor things to whichever positions adverts I come in with, next Monday.  So much weight off my shoulders.  I gave them my CV with Connor (birthname) Lastname, that went over rather well.  I hadn't thought of initials though, CeeCee!  That could work, when I go back into teaching. :3
For now though, any entry/non-managerial level position I can get into is my goal.  There's an opening at the book store which would be AMAZING.

 

 

 

Well, it certainly wasn't a goal of mine, but losing weight and doing regular weight lifting ("Starting Strength" program) has certainly seen my breast & bra size plummet (around a 14D to 10C), and my pecs start to be visible (if only to myself).

 

Have you seen Loren Cameron's pics? His F->M transformation messes with my head. As a straight woman, I find him jarringly attractive. Warning - include some nude pics NSFW.

 

I think building muscle is definitely going to make someone look more masculine.

 

I'm with you on this.  Loren Cameron really opened my eyes, to what's possible with transitioning (Ryan Sallans too, his advocacy aside).

 

I'm dealing with large but fluctuating chest size, (40DD at one point) Its terrible on the dysphoria side, but I'd lost some chest on Paleo with bodyweight workouts.  Happiest realization in a while.

 

 

Just a note to share some joy... I've performed three same-sex weddings so far, now that wa legalized it. 

I've been reading about various states legalizing it.  Really happy to see that things are moving forward on the marriage equality front!

[Zeuel]

I'm with you on this.  Loren Cameron really opened my eyes, to what's possible with transitioning (Ryan Sallans too, his advocacy aside).

 

I had not heard of Ryan Sallans before just now. He is fine!

[Crazyhawaiian21]

Just another ally checking in (happily a WA state voter).  This has probably been one of the most enlightening and honest discussions that I've seen about sexuality and aspects that are included.  Just happily reaffirming nerd solidarity and NF members ability to support each other in all walk of leveling up through shared experience.

 

Anyone listen to the Savage Love podcast?  One of my bffs from college turned me on to it and I haven't been able to stop listening/learning.

[Artinum]

I had not heard of Ryan Sallans before just now. He is fine!

 

Agreed. This one is much more my type!

[cyborg jack]

Hey! I'm new to Nerd Fitness and just started lurking on the forums when I found this thread. I'm glad that it's here. I'm a queer trans guy, pre-op and pre-T. I'm definitely excited about getting in shape and the results I'm seeing so far, however small, are really encouraging. I carry most of my body fat in my hips unfortunately, which gets me misgendered a lot. So I'm working to reduce my body fat and build up lots of muscle to fix that. 

 

Also totally agree on the Ryan Sallans being awesome thing.

[Tkal]

Hey! I'm new to Nerd Fitness and just started lurking on the forums when I found this thread. I'm glad that it's here. I'm a queer trans guy, pre-op and pre-T.

Welcome to the rebellion and in this group!