Break Ups

[smazzon1]

I don't know if there's already a thread for this. But I just broke up with my boyfriend last night. He treated me well, took me out, and loves me. I just... for a while I haven't been in the relationship 100%. I couldn't imagine a future with him. Basically, I love him, but I'm not IN love with him.

It was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do. This was the first time I've ever broken up with someone, and the fact that there was nothing... wrong, per say, about our relationship makes it harder. He's such a great guy. It's just this weight that's been on my chest for a couple of weeks and I knew I had to do it.

I'll probably call him a week or two to tell him if this is what I really want. I honestly wish that I loved him back the same way, but I don't think that's the case.

[Razor]

This is such an awesome life hack!

Lol j/jk, but c'est la vie. If he's a great guy, he'll understand and know you did him a favor. No sane human being wants to be with somebody who doesn't really want to be with them the same way. Good luck lookin', have fun with the single life

[smazzon1]

Lol I got confused with the forum title. Oops.

And thanks. He said to give him a call if anything happens. I think we're both taking it pretty hard but I'm seeing how I'll feel in a week.

[tats4life]

I'm kinda in a similiar boat as you, smazzon. I recently ended a 6yr relationship back in March & we're still going through the motions. Of course, him being abroad the whole month of June & then me going abroad for 2wks after that have kind of delayed I guess the "typical hurdles" one goes through during situations like this. He also was a great guy, let me be me, treated me well, & loved me. However, his lack of motivation & planning the future was a leech on our relationship & eventually ate away at whatever affection I had towards him. I'm not gonna lie, he is & always wil be my first love, but there's a time when I know I need to move & get on with my life when he refuses to budge from his current position in life. Ending this relationship was also my first time & the fact that I had been with him for such a long time... "growing up" together per say (I was 18 & he 21 when we met), it was very difficult.

Being in a relationship is complex but breaking up is more so. There's no wrong or right way in going about it but I understand your need to vent & get others take on it outside of the people that you know.

[Athaclena]

Been there. No one was happier than I that he soon met the RIGHT girl - and they married and had 2 wonderful children.

It's hard at first, but it's best to not lead him on. Trust me.

[peaches]

The best method in my opinion is no contact. You've gotta break that bond. Then after a while, if you want, you can be friends.

Hang in there - it hurts to hurt someone.

[Radiata]

I just recently broke up with my ex; we spend eight years together and we grew up together. Yes, we had our share of fights and quarrels but it seemed we would grow old together and by her side, nothing was impossible.

I´ve heard that the best way is to cut all contact and let time do the major healing... but man! it´s so freaking difficult to resist the temptation to fling her an email and facebook doesn´t make it better. You know... I try not to cling to the hope that someday, just someday, we will be friends again. My godfather yesterday said to me "Lalo get out, go to the park, go to the beach, walk it off son, get fit, start writing and painting again, be fool again and don´t restrain yourself. It´s ok to cry, it´s ok to ask for help if you need to. But the most important thing you have to do is forgive yourself. If you didn´t cheat on her, be at peace of mind. Maybe you screwed it up because of something else, but you are human and we all screw it up constantly, just give her your most sincere apologies and carry on"

[Arashi]

Been there. No one was happier than I that he soon met the RIGHT girl - and they married and had 2 wonderful children.

This, so much. I felt guilty for breaking up with a guy who really, really liked me for years (I have a problem with guilt). When he married I felt overjoyed. Last time I saw him was on his daughter's baptism, and he looked so happy with his family that I just wanted to throw a party!

[Hellany]

I'm in the early stages of this myself. I'm with someone who loves me and cares for me, but neither of us are *in* love with each other, the communication is forced, and there's no...passion. Meanwhile I've met someone who may not be the one, but who I feel genuine passion for. Just thinking of being around him makes me feel a decade younger. I don't even know where to begin, no matter what I choose to do it feels like a mistake.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Be careful, whatever you do. It might just be that the idea of being with someone else is so enticing that it is inflating your perception of this new person. If you want to end things with your current SO, end them because the relationship has grown stale, not so you can go be with new-person. 

[Hellany]

Be careful, whatever you do. It might just be that the idea of being with someone else is so enticing that it is inflating your perception of this new person. If you want to end things with your current SO, end them because the relationship has grown stale, not so you can go be with new-person.

Exactly what you said, I've seen way too many people make that choice and have it end badly. I'm not giving up on the current SO until I've figured out every way to work things out. It's just so so aggravating at times. Stupid chemistry!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Exactly what you said, I've seen way too many people make that choice and have it end badly. I'm not giving up on the current SO until I've figured out every way to work things out. It's just so so aggravating at times. Stupid chemistry!

The grass always seems greener on the other side.