Confession and Introduction. I NEED YOUR HELP

[rjphillips]

All right. Confession/introduction time. I have been on a road for weight loss and healthy living for over two years now... The results? Nothing. I've actually gained fat and weight because each time I commit to something, then fall off the bandwagon midway through. I have a hard time seeing something to completion. I even had poked around here before and tried to get involved in the forums, but I just lost motivation and drive. So there's my confession. Now a little about myself:

My name is Ron and I am a youth pastor living in rural Louisiana. I am 25 years old and am a complete nerd (video game, book, Bible, and fantasy). I am 6'1" and currently weigh 223lbs with a body fat % that hovers around 20-23%. I easily get tired and out of breath. Previously I have experimented with p90x, vegan diet, paleo diet, atkins diet, kickboxing, and even just running. In highschool I was highly athletic (had a black belt in two different MA systems) was lean and full of energy. I miss that and after college, fast food and my old desk job, things really turned around.

I need help staying on track. Before I had gotten married I wanted to get a "six-pack" before the wedding day. That never happened and I feel that I have failed at every attempt to stay on track since then. So I'm begging ya'll. Stay on me.

Here's my plan currently. I made myself a goal: by January 1, 2013 I want to be down to 10% body fat. I know that's tough and a lofty goal. After reading Saint's story, I even asked my wife to bet me on it (to give me even further motivation). After experimenting different diets before (and I'm not just saying this cause I know it's a fav around here) I feel like I have more energy when I eat paleo. I've been doing so for three full days now (plus this morning's bkfast and snack) and am feeling better. But I've been here done that before, so I know I need help to stay motivated.

What is that keeps you all motivated to pursue your goals?

-Ron

[CyningaDena]

Hey, it's good to have you on board! You've come to the right place for motivation and accountability. I'm pretty bad at staying on track, too -- life gets in the way, like it does, and then that one bump kills all of my momentum and I start thinking that an entire week of WoW and delivery pizza is a totally legitimate way to spend my evenings. I think the biggest thing I've gained from NF is the community. I've got a crew now who won't let me lose all of my momentum. They poke and prod and get me back in the game. I hope you'll be active enough on the boards to build those types of relationships, because they're bank.

Re: motivation, there's a lot of interesting stuff out there about intrinsic motivation (your own interest/enjoyment/desire) vs extrinsic motivation (outside rewards/money/sanctions). Typically, motivation actually drops when people do a task for reasons outside of themselves -- impressing the ladies, showing them bastids at the 10-year reunion, or earning jello puddin pops -- because their capitalist brain kicks in and starts asking, "Is the return on investment worth this effort?" The answer to that is typically "No." This is why you can get scads of people to volunteer for mission trips to Haiti, but you couldn't get those same people to go if you offered to pay them for their work. This is why college kids do Habitat for Humanity in droves, but then turn up their nose at similar manual labor when they're looking for jobs.

For me, part of the motivational trick, then, has been to attach my goals to some sort of intrinsic desire rather than letting them hinge on something outside of myself. I'll definitely set small rewards for milestones along the way because this monkey will totally dance for bananas, but for overall motivation to keep slogging through the long haul, I need something that rests more on principles and less on materials. Maybe you decide that becoming healthier and more fit is necessary for honoring the gift of the body that was given to you. Maybe you decide that living longer and being stronger are necessary parts of being a good husband or father. Maybe it's part of being proud of yourself and earning your own respect and honor for growing strong enough to overcome challenges you couldn't before. Maybe you decide you want to model for your youth group what it means to respect your body as a temple. Tie your goals to something that is already important to you, and discover ways that your goals are actually manifestations of principles you already hold.

Best of luck to you on your journey!

[rx'drobot]

If your ready to commit, I strongly suggest finding a local CrossFit gym. The community and external motivation I get every time I workout at mine is enough reason to keep going back. Your competitive spirit will return, and you'll likely start with the internal "well if he can do that... so can I".

I've only been doing CrossFit for 6 weeks and its made a huge difference in my life.

Stick with Paleo, and try and be as strict as possible (give away or throw out all non-paleo foods where you live, the temptation is too high)

[Niccolo]

If your ready to commit' date=' I strongly suggest finding a local CrossFit gym. The community and external motivation I get every time I workout at mine is enough reason to keep going back. Your competitive spirit will return, and you'll likely start with the internal "well if he can do that... so can I".

I've only been doing CrossFit for 6 weeks and its made a huge difference in my life.

Stick with Paleo, and try and be as strict as possible (give away or throw out all non-paleo foods where you live, the temptation is too high)[/quote']

Can't agree more!

I tried over and over for years to get a plan that works for me. Took some external motivation to finally buckle down, but I will say that CrossFit was a big plus in getting me fit and keeping me there. The workouts are challenging and varied. It took me about 6 months to finally repeat a workout and that really appeals to me. Additionally, if you get a good affiliate, they will make absolutely sure that you are taught the correct form and all your lifts are safe. Also, the community support you get in the affiliates is AWESOME! Everyone who finishes before you will stay and cheer you on as you finish the workout. As they say in my affiliate, "You aren't done until the last person finishes."

I love CrossFit and recommend it to everyone I know. I've lost 30 lbs (and that's with gaining a lot of muscle) and doubled all my lifts since I started in January.

If you're ready to take the plunge and make the commitment, I'd say that CF is a good way to go.

Good luck and remember that we're all pulling for you!

[flourless]

I started a little over a year ago, worked hard for six months, then life got in the way. I took another 4 months off dealing with life, then came back and started again. I've lost about 18% of my body weight. Here's what worked for me.

I keep records. I weigh every day. When I was following an exchange diet, I logged all my food and exchanges, every day. I measure once a week. Then I crunch those numbers so they work for me. While I weigh every day, I throw it in a spreadsheet that calculates a 10-day exponentially smoothed moving average. That average is nearly always more than my current weight (I spike to the line or just above it when I ovulate), so pretty much every day I get to see a small drop in the trendline, even if my scale weight went up a little. My spreadsheet also has a predictions tab, which is based on a formula I caged from the Keys starvation study. It effectively says that you lose more weight when you start weight loss, and the last few pounds are remarkably difficult to use. It gives me a reasonable target for each week, and I compare it to my trend line. When my weight isn't cooperating at all, I can go back and look at my food logs and see how my diet has changed, or my exercise has increased. I can always find -something- in my records to celebrate, and I can always find -something- to work on.

I made it easy. I don't do exercise I don't like. I don't eat foods I don't like. I stop eating when I'm full, and I eat when I'm hungry. If I'm not hungry, no matter how much I want dessert, I don't have it. Instead, I remind myself that if tomorrow I remember to stop eating my dinner -before- I get full, I can have dessert. Because it was easy, when I took four months off, I didn't regain a ton of weight. I went up to about my trendline, and stayed there.

I expand beyond my comfort zone. This seems like a contradiction to the last entry, but it isn't. I went to aqua-fit to see if I liked it. I tried a martial arts class. I tried weight lifting. I tried running. I tried cycling. I did a million and four burpees. I pick up a new vegetables at the farmer's market once in awhile. I can't know if I like it or not without trying it. If I don't like it, I don't have to do it again. If I do like it, it's one more tool in my arsenal to keep moving forward.

There's no bandwagon to fall off of. There's no track to lose. You are here. You want to be there. All you have to do is remind yourself of your destination. Think of it like a road trip from California to Maine. You can get in your car and blast along I-80 and be there in 3-4 days. Then what will you do? That's the "eat nothing, exercise all the time, lose all my pounds as fast as I can" plan, and it makes maintenance a whole new set of challenges. Or, you can take it at a comfortable pace. You stop at roadside attractions. You swim in the great salt lake. You meet strangers and buy them dinner. It take you longer to get there, but when you get to Maine, you just keep doing it on a smaller scale. Realistically, we all do both types of traveling when we lose weight, but there's no reason to beat yourself up if you're going in the right direction. If you're going in the -wrong- direction, there's still no reason to beat yourself up. "Oh, I gained a pound. That's the wrong way. Let me see if I need a detour..."

Fix your head. There's a reason you're overweight or out of shape. You get a reward either out of it, or out of the actions that cause that effect. Figure out what those rewards are, and give yourself new rewards for better actions while breaking the bad reward associations. Intermittent, irregular rewards are more effective at cementing behavior change than steady rewards. When I'm having a lot of trouble changing a habit, I associate the new habit with a random reward. I have a pair of dice (Don't ask me why, but two works better than one for me). I make a list of 11 possible rewards (from nothing up through really big). If I complete my habit (or my streak of that habit), I roll the dice and take the reward I got. It circumvents some of the "Is that worth it?" subconscious deal-making because the big thing? It's worth it! And I have a 1:11 chance of getting it!

So, for now - you have a destination. How the heck are you planning to get there? What are you doing -today- to move you in the right direction?

[rjphillips]

If your ready to commit' date=' I strongly suggest finding a local CrossFit gym. The community and external motivation I get every time I workout at mine is enough reason to keep going back. Your competitive spirit will return, and you'll likely start with the internal "well if he can do that... so can I".

I've only been doing CrossFit for 6 weeks and its made a huge difference in my life.

Stick with Paleo, and try and be as strict as possible (give away or throw out all non-paleo foods where you live, the temptation is too high)[/quote']

I've heard great things about Crossfit (that's actually how I heard about paleo was because a friend was doing Crossfit and I asked what his diet was like); the bummer is that because I live in rural LA, the closest Crossfit gym is about 1-2hrs away... I drive 15 mins to my current gym, but I don't think I could do the drive for the other on a daily basis.

Any suggestions for an at-home or at a small gym (and when I say small, I mean really small)? Right now I am focusing on bodyweight and some pulling and pushing excercises with free weights.

[rjphillips]

For me, part of the motivational trick, then, has been to attach my goals to some sort of intrinsic desire rather than letting them hinge on something outside of myself.

I had never thought of it that way, and I love your examples. Appreciate the input!

[Absidey]

While I weigh every day, I throw it in a spreadsheet that calculates a 10-day exponentially smoothed moving average. That average is nearly always more than my current weight (I spike to the line or just above it when I ovulate), so pretty much every day I get to see a small drop in the trendline, even if my scale weight went up a little.

May I see this magical spreadsheet? I want an exponentially smoothed moving average!

The rest of what you said was very well expressed. Might be pulling some of this for my remotivation file. =)

[Laureleye]

Any suggestions for an at-home or at a small gym (and when I say small, I mean really small)? Right now I am focusing on bodyweight and some pulling and pushing excercises with free weights.

I have a small home-gym and am getting rid of it because 1) my shoulders hurt on several of the moves; 2) I never really felt like I'd worked out. In fact, it wasn't helping me lose any weight at all. I'd really stick with the body weight and free weights. My strength has really improved since I started doing the beginner's circuit and the rookie workouts.

[Michael Ramm]

Hey Ron!

That is a lot of body fat to lose in three months, especially with the two biggest eating holidays in sight! I would look at the Beginner Body Weight workout or grab the Rebel Strength Guide because it has barbell and dumbell routines in it. I am doing (as a COMPLETE beginner) a home based dumbbell workout that goes 3x/week. Today was my one week in date, and I am feeling great. I have no desire to do primal or paleo eating, but I am changing my diet to drop fried foods and eat more veggies.

We are here for support, and almost anything that you want to do, there is someone at NF who has some knowledge about it.

Where in LA are you at? I grew up in NOLA and was there from 1980-1990 (my elementary and high school years).

Michael

[flourless]

May I see this magical spreadsheet? I want an exponentially smoothed moving average!

The rest of what you said was very well expressed. Might be pulling some of this for my remotivation file. =)

Sure! Although, if all you want is the exponentially smoothed moving average, you don't need to build your own! I borrowed it from the hacker's diet. He has a webpage that will do it for you (complete with graphs) at http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/online/hdo.html

Feel free to borrow anything that's useful and leave behind what isn't. I talk a lot, which leads to the same effect as an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters..

Now, lets see if I can figure out how to do the spreadsheet thingy..

[rjphillips]

I'd really stick with the body weight and free weights. My strength has really improved since I started doing the beginner's circuit and the rookie workouts.

Thanks! I'll have to look at those!

Hey Ron!

That is a lot of body fat to lose in three months, especially with the two biggest eating holidays in sight! I would look at the

Where in LA are you at? I grew up in NOLA and was there from 1980-1990 (my elementary and high school years).

Lol. Yes it is. And Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite time for food... And I'm in the Central LA area, almost near Natchez, MS. Plenty of "good" southern cooking that's hard to resist... But, no pain, no gain...

[flourless]

Yeah, I can't get the attachment button to work in any of my web browsers (I even tried IE!) but if you pm me your email address, I'll send them your way, Absidey.