Meeting people/dating... more a question for the UK nerds but any advice is great

[Goldie]

So Nerds of the UK I have a question...

 

I moved to a new town and left my friends behind. Admittedly I could go visit which I do occasionally but I am aware I would like some more friends and foundations in the new place.

 

It seems I've lost the art of meeting people now I'm older! When I was younger *early twenties) I met friends through friends or while out partying/pubbing/clubbing. Now those sort of activities aren't high on my list of priorities and i'm finding my social life has dwindled. So I wondered if anyone has been in the same situation and how you went about righting it?

 

At the moment I'm looking into taking a lifeguarding course perhaps and/or body massage therapy course which i hope might help. Any other ideas or suggestions?

 

I considered online dating but i'm not sure i want to 'put myself out there' like that - i'd rther make friends and if something fourished from that it would be ace but i'd rather have a nice bunch of buddies to call on or who can call on me.

 

I won't lie - i'm also a bit shy which i think can come across as snobby or unapproachable, I'm working on this!!

 

So, ny help would be ace!

[18ck]

Hello fellow UK Nerd

 

I can't be any help I'm afraid, but have you seen this recent post (I believe it's the first of a series) that addresses the whole how-to-meet-people thing...?

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/12/20/how-to-be-awesome-at-approaching-people/

[Garth]

Do you have any hobbies, or is there anything you'd ever considered taking up? A sport or something a bit more sedate like a knitting circle, if that's you're thing. Great way to meet a wide range of new people that share a similar interest. Bound to be at least one or two people there that you can turn into full on friends. 

 

I got involved with a local Roller Derby team as an official and have made some great friends that way.

[sylph]

Have you looked at meetup.com? Not sure how many groups are in your part of the world, but it's specifically made for people who want to meet people who are into the same kind of stuff.

[Lydieboo]

I've got the same problem - and I'm actually probably older and an American.  But I think once you're out of college there just isn't a concentration of single, lonely people your age looking for friends.

 

Definitely the best way to meet people is through doing something you love.  Or at least trying things you think you might enjoy.  I've started bouldering, and going to try out a new martial art, and am planning to start taking dance classes at some point.  I admit I haven't met a lot of people, but the best way I'd found to meet people over the last few years was just walking up to them at karaoke and starting conversations.  Most of them won't pan out, but every once in a while you'll meet someone you click with.

My other advice: Be available.  Make a point to be available if someone contacts you.  Even if you don't think you'll be best friends, you can't meet people if you just stay home all the time.

Good luck!

[Evicious]

Never underestimate the power of public places to meet people too! All you have to do is be a regular customer and say a pleasant "Hello" to the other people you notice who are also regulars. Cafes, farmer's markets, and even the library are all non-alcoholic locations where your daily/weekly presence and friendly demeanor invite opportunities to meet other people. (Hint: A nice way to introduce yourself at a cafe is to pay for another customer's coffee. It's a pleasant surprise for the other person, the introduction is usually brief but encouraging, and if for some reason the situation becomes awkward you can always bow out gracefully with a simple smile and a "Pay it forward".)

 

Also, don't be afraid to invite coworkers to lunch or at least inquire about their day around the water cooler. No matter how much you may think, "Oh, this person and I have nothing in common, how could we ever become friends?" there is always the chance that you will hit it off and realize you like each other just as much for your differences as you would for your commonalities. Shared interests are fun, but in the end it's all about how your personalities mesh.

[Sambalina]

I don't have anything new to add, other than I use meetup.com and have made a few friends (and a boyfriend) that way. I really like your advice Evicious.

[Pookie]

I met lots of people through a dating website... in fact the man I'm marrying in 6 months I met on OKCupid. 

 

So I will give huge support to trying this out, you have nothing to lose by spending an hour on a profile and seeing what happens. At worst you are in the same position, at best? well who knows! I know I didn't expect what I got and it totally changed my life for the better.