Introverts, Social Misfits and the Terror of Talking to People

[fitnessgurl]

Hmm...maybe turn down some of her invitations?

[TMedina]

There really isn't a clean exit strategy.  It's going to be degrees of messy.

 

You can continue pretending to be clueless - the invites will probably stop eventually, probably sooner when you get promoted.

 

You could try playing the subtle card and ask her opinion about a fictional girl you like elsewhere.

[Phytomancer]

Hmm...maybe turn down some of her invitations?

 

Tried that. It's not clean cut though. Say, it'd be like: "Hey, want to go watch this movie with me and the girls?" And the girls won't be able to make it. Or it'd be like "Hey, want to walk around while we wait for others to be ready [for a lab open house])" And then suddenly we turned to a beautifully lit street with Christmas Ornament and she was talking about a concept of romance. 

 

It's like it's planned perfectly. I'm a bit impressed and scared at the same time. Why would someone that intelligent invests so much time and planning on a stubby dork, I have absolutely no idea.

 

 

There really isn't a clean exit strategy.  It's going to be degrees of messy.

 

You can continue pretending to be clueless - the invites will probably stop eventually, probably sooner when you get promoted.

 

You could try playing the subtle card and ask her opinion about a fictional girl you like elsewhere.

 

Can't make up a girl. Our lab is filled with women I know well, and information travels underground faster than anything one could imagine. A perk of being the only male in the lab besides the big boss.

 

I guess playing dumb is my specialty anyhow. I'd keep doing that. Thanks.

[fitnessgurl]

Tried that. It's not clean cut though. Say, it'd be like: "Hey, want to go watch this movie with me and the girls?" And the girls won't be able to make it. Or it'd be like "Hey, want to walk around while we wait for others to be ready [for a lab open house])" And then suddenly we turned to a beautifully lit street with Christmas Ornament and she was talking about a concept of romance. 

 

It's like it's planned perfectly. I'm a bit impressed and scared at the same time. Why would someone that intelligent invests so much time and planning on a stubby dork, I have absolutely no idea.

 

 

 

Can't make up a girl. Our lab is filled with women I know well, and information travels underground faster than anything one could imagine.

 

I guess playing dumb is my specialty anyhow. I'd keep doing that. Thanks.

Yeah, she's a little bit scary.

On a more positive note: she obviously doesn't see you as a stubby dork.

You could try what I do. I carry a book with me and if I don't want to be bothered; I take it out of my bag and start reading. Just make sure it's something that she won't be interested in.

[TMedina]

Or, be flattered at the level effort going into the hunt.

[oldnews]

You could try what I do. I carry a book with me and if I don't want to be bothered; I take it out of my bag and start reading. Just make sure it's something that she won't be interested in.

 

I once had a guy show up with the same book (a library copy) a few days after he saw me reading it. Unfortunately for him, I was reading it for class and hated it.

 

I'd say being honest and clear is the way to go, but unless she actually makes her intentions/desire clear, it might get more awkward to try to turn her down.

[Phytomancer]

On a more positive note: she obviously doesn't see you as a stubby dork.

 

There is what I appreciate. I was usually the one on the painful hunt, so I feel her pain, but I already know the romance is going to end tragically-- I'm not going to crush her heart and make a mess everywhere.

 

You could try what I do. I carry a book with me and if I don't want to be bothered; I take it out of my bag and start reading. Just make sure it's something that she won't be interested in.

I can also try that. Her tastes are so sophisticated a Shonen comic book would probably turn her down beyond Midwestern freeze, but carrying this to work can be a bit... unprofessional.

 

 

Or, be flattered at the level effort going into the hunt.

Already am.

 

I once had a guy show up with the same book (a library copy) a few days after he saw me reading it. Unfortunately for him, I was reading it for class and hated it.

 

I'd say being honest and clear is the way to go, but unless she actually makes her intentions/desire clear, it might get more awkward to try to turn her down.

I think so too... which is why I hope this is the work of the combination between a series of romantic coincidences and my overactive imagination. I'd rather be that guy than to turn a girl like that down. That's how awkward I am about these things.

[zeroh13]

Tried that. It's not clean cut though. Say, it'd be like: "Hey, want to go watch this movie with me and the girls?" And the girls won't be able to make it.

 

How about, when she asks you like this, ask her if you can bring a friend along?

[Machete]

Okay. A girl has a crush on me--

 

This is the only thing I heard, because my brain is male and a pervert.

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

So you're not going to date for a few years until you go home? Ask her out, let her know early you'll be moving in a few years, and have some fun.

[fitnessgurl]

How about, when she asks you like this, ask her if you can bring a friend along?

I approve of this message. Sorry, couldn't resist.

On another note: embrace nerddom, take the comic book.

[Machete]

[fitnessgurl]

Ouch!

[TMedina]

Yep, perhaps a bit harsh.

 

Since there's no easy way to let her know, just keep flying casual.

 

Unless she outright confesses (anime - who knew?), in which case it's probably time for an honest conversation.

 

And even then, tread warily.

[Phytomancer]

How about, when she asks you like this, ask her if you can bring a friend along?

Nice!

 

 

This is the only thing I heard, because my brain is male and a pervert.

 

Lol. My brain whispers that too, but then, what's wrong with being a little gay? Ooh, look! Shirtless profile pic.

 

 

So you're not going to date for a few years until you go home? Ask her out, let her know early you'll be moving in a few years, and have some fun.

Well-- she's looking for a long term relationship. But yeah, maybe I should make it clear.

 

 

Ouch!!

 

 

Yep, perhaps a bit harsh.

 

Since there's no easy way to let her know, just keep flying casual.

 

Unless she outright confesses (anime - who knew?), in which case it's probably time for an honest conversation.

 

And even then, tread warily.

 

Wayyy past anime age. Twice the age of many characters. But will tread warily.

[Machete]

Lol. My brain whispers that too, but then, what's wrong with being a little gay? Ooh, look! Shirtless profile pic.

 

Nothing at all. I'd classify myself as gay, but some gayfolk might not like that because I'm half-assing it. I can't go full-gay; I like snatch too much.

 

[Guzzi]

Haha! Lots of interesting reading above. Gave me a good chuckle at, like 2:30am. Ungh! Where are you sleep???? 

 

Anyways, I read this article and thought this thread was the place to share it, even if I had to scroll back 3 pages to find it. 

 

It links being introverted and being a grammar natzi. So, is this true? Do you guys (and girls) get all hot and bothered by bad grammar? I know I do, lol!

[TMedina]

I know I flinch more at typos and grammar mistakes, but it's hard to be too critical when I know I still make mitakes left, right, and sideways.

[Jakkals]

Why you really have to stop correcting the grammar

 

[Phytomancer]

My grammar is too poor to be a grammar nazi.

[Artinum]

14 hours ago, Guzzi said:

It links being introverted and being a grammar natzi. So, is this true? Do you guys (and girls) get all hot and bothered by bad grammar? I know I do, lol!

 

As an introvert and proofreader, I feel enraged by bad grammar. Typos just make me giggle (even I fall prone to those sometimes) but using the wrong "you're" or, worse, phrases like "I could care less" are deeply irritating. I'm afraid deliberately spelling "Nazi" wrong doesn't work on me, however. I can see through that.

[Guzzi]

On 1 April 2016 at 4:59 PM, Artinum said:

 

As an introvert and proofreader, I feel enraged by bad grammar. Typos just make me giggle (even I fall prone to those sometimes) but using the wrong "you're" or, worse, phrases like "I could care less" are deeply irritating. I'm afraid deliberately spelling "Nazi" wrong doesn't work on me, however. I can see through that.

 

Ha! I wanted to get a "you're" instead of "your", but I thought it was just too obvious.

[curryfiend]

On 4/1/2016 at 11:15 PM, Jakkals said:

Why you really have to stop correcting the grammar

 

 

This is beautiful. lmao

[Intek]

As an introvert, what are some good exit strategies for getting out of conversations that you don't want to be in? I find myself stuck here a lot.

[Emmi]

 

On 4/1/2016 at 3:36 AM, Guzzi said:

Anyways, I read this article and thought this thread was the place to share it, even if I had to scroll back 3 pages to find it. 

 

It links being introverted and being a grammar natzi. So, is this true? Do you guys (and girls) get all hot and bothered by bad grammar? I know I do, lol!

 

Holy crap, that's hysterical! 

 

I'm also an introvert. I find people extremely interesting, but also extremely exhausting. Yes, I also get super irritated when I see either bad grammar or bad spelling. Not all the time with English though, as it is not my native language and I think I still make mistakes here and there (I'm terribly sorry, guys) and I think I miss some mistakes because I don't know any better. When it comes to my native language though, I cringe when people make mistakes.

 

5 hours ago, Intek said:

As an introvert, what are some good exit strategies for getting out of conversations that you don't want to be in? I find myself stuck here a lot.

 

I would give you a super helpful answer but I'm also struggling with this a lot. When it's online, I just tell people that I'm not comfortable. No problem. In real life I smile and nod (or look super serious, it depends on the subject) and I wait until it's over. I wouldn't consider this an effective strategy as it does keep me occupied for a certain amount of time.