First Respawn

[Grecoair]

Holy hell this is tough. (and this is my first rant, so it's a doozy).

 

I have never been able to follow through with any change in habit for the better. There have been some good streaks but they have always been a departure from my norm and I always fall back into this rut and I think that maybe NF is my only hope.

 

I lost my job in September. It was a good one, a good nerdy job. I was testing airplanes. Flying on experimental airplanes! It was so good that it took up all of my time. My brother from across the country sent me an email over a year ago and I just now got to reading it. I remember glancing at it back then, his email had a list of really cool websites that he thought I would be interested in like codeacademy, NF, and some other ones. Now I have plenty of time and I just got my inbox to fit on the screen. His email is at the bottom and it's staying there to remind me that I signed up for NF and that there are other good things out there: I'm just barely stumbling my way through Java/html in codeacademy to try to make my resume more appealing. It's kindof fun.

 

Anyhow, for the past few months I've been speed-eating ramen and crushing my Halo 4 commendations. I can give you some awesome ramen recipes, mostly involving adding dairy products, and I bought the giant box from Costco. Fail. Here's a great one: I was inspired to try paleo last month from NF. I knew I couldn't do it for a month so I tried for one day, ONE DAY. All I had to do was make it through one day. It started off with some bacon and juice for breakfast, that was pretty cool, I could get used to paleo. Then I made a monster spinach salad for lunch with turkey and, ok...ranch. But when dinner came around, my roommates weren't home, I felt like I had accomplished nothing all day. I ordered dominos and fucking destroyed more than half a pizza. This is really embarrassing to actually read these words and post them. 

 

I need something to stick for once. I know that I enjoy what I call running, just grunting and shuffling down the street, but I'll be dammed if I can do it more than 2 days in a row. My knees hurt, my feet hurt, my calves hurt, the body needs to rest and heal itself, right? I'll pick it up in a few days. And then that turns into "wow, when was the last time I put on my running shoes?". I even surprised myself last month by starting a strength training routine using resistance bands. I did it every other day and marked in on the calendar. And now I can see them right now hanging on the wall collecting dust. Not surprised anymore. I can see my running shoes and my bands from where I'm sitting.

 

I'm actually worried that I can't ever do this. Does anyone else ever feel like you know you're doing it wrong, that you can see your running shoes and you just totally ignore them? I walk past them every day. I can't do this have yet to be able to do this on my own and I don't think I can. I don't want to do it alone, anyway, and I like this respawn idea. What do you guys think? 

 

[Viriana]

I am right there with you.

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[Aegle]

What matters most is where you're going, so don't be ashamed of your past. You CAN and WILL "respawn"--to get back up, to keep fighting, and to ultimately succeed. With the holiday season right around the corner, it will be tempting to fall into bad habits, but DON'T do this! The best gift you could give to yourself is good health. It will lead to your wellness, confidence, and happiness. So, start RIGHT NOW and commit to improving your health for the better. You don't have to make any big changes right off; start small and gradually set new goals. Think about "leveling up" and slowly but surely you'll progress. May the Force be with you! 

[Grecoair]

Thanks, all. Today was a little better.

[Cledbo]

Can totally relate. I seem to get bored of stuff, or set the bar too high so I can only meet it for a little while then end up giving up.

 

My only advice, as someone coming from a similar place to you, is to keep trying *new* things. You say you 'enjoy' running, but if you're not doing it then clearly you don't enjoy it enough! I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that my workout routine (when there is one and I'm not being epically lazy - there's a good reason I'm in the respawn point too!) keeps changing. I've gone from running to martial arts to cross fit to powerlifting to pilates and dance to gymnastic rings in my garage (which I can't use right now because I'm pregnant and scared of falling off them). And that's ok. As long as I keep moving, I'm not letting death win!

 

And the same can be said for food - you can push and push and try to be perfect, but in the end all that is likely to happen (when you're like we are) is burnout, failure, guilt, and seeing the bottom of a tub of icecream on the same day you bought it. I've had to relax my standards in order to keep myself from completely blowing it, it's the only way forward. I'm still struggling though. The best I manage when I have 'one of those days' is to order Thai food instead of pizza - Thai beef salad is better than a meatlovers!

 

Rant on, friend, rage rage and never give up

[erosan]

Man, your story struck a chord with me... your 1 day of win win FAIL is what the past year has been for me. I keep trying to do Paleo, because I'm sold on it, I enjoy the food and I know it's good for me. And sometimes I make it through the first day... on rare ocassions 2 days. but most of the time I am a Paleo role model till around 5pm. and then all bets are off.

 

I used to feel shame about this. But this is our chance to start over, nevermind past failures. You can do this. Win this battle 1 meal at a time.

 

And don't get me started on my running shoes. I LOVE running, yet I'm stupid enough to not run as often as I'd like. I wonder why we do that to ourselves?

[Ocelot]

Ahh, you shouldn't do exercise you don't enjoy... except for short bursts, because those are effective too. If I hated running (which I don't - I quite like having a 20 minute sprint around teh woods, but I've pretty much stopped doing any long distances) I would still make myself do it, but it would be 30-60 second sprints up steep hills. That will kick your ass as much as a 3 mile jog. (I do sprints sometimes anyway, because easier to fit in!)

 

also, take more rest days and work yourself out a schedule that you commit to sticking to that is NOT over optimistic! Then tick each run off as you go! And, have an end goal in mind. A speed, or a distance. Decide WHEN you want to hit that, and then plan accordingly.

 

Good luck

[Fitz_Hulk]

Yeah, I feel you. Walking past the running shoes. Feeling myself getting drawn to the ice cream and saying to myself, "no no no no no okay ALL THE ICE CREAM". Win win FAIL.

Start again.

And again.

And again.

[Noname123]

Yes, this, me all over up until last year. 

 

I started taking group classes for the fun of it and joined some local workout groups (and NF of course). It was the best thing I did. Even if I fell off for a day or two my phone would blow up "where were you on Tuesday??? You missed xyz, I'll update you next class". I felt obligated to do things not for me but for others (funny how that works, right?). After almost 9 months of this I'm pretty confident in saying it's a habit now (except for my stupid strength training classes, still working on those!). This helped sticking to eating well (for the most part) I slipped here and there....but it wasn't too bad I have to say. I fell out of the habit of ordering food so it's not even on my mind if I want to eat something. 

 

So my suggestion is get a buddy. Get excited about talking to your buddy and sharing all the awesome things you did. Also, set up some timed goals. Events work best for me, I'm now hooked on mud runs!

 

Also, run a Spartan No excuse unless you want to waste money on a ticket or wreck yourself on the course

[Grecoair]

..., nevermind past failures. You can do this. Win this battle 1 meal at a time...

 

I seriously never even thought about one meal at a time. I'm really down on myself for not being strong enough to go paleo for one day, kind of sucks, but what I keep reading on NF is to make the goals realistic so I guess it would be easier to hold off my junk food ADD for one meal at a time. I guess if I look at it that way I went 2-1 that day instead of 0-1. (this might actually be a big realization for me....)

 

You guys are all awesome, by the way.

[PachaTisai]

Go Paleo for one meal.  Make that decision one meal at a time.  And if you miss a meal, don't beat yourself up.  Just don't miss two in a row.
 

 

When I first started this journey, that's what I had to do.  Then it was add in a new veggie once a day.  Now, I eat veggies with every meal, and I'm 80% Paleo.  I would be 100% but....beer.

 

Its kinda late this challenge, but get in on the next challenge.  Make friends.  There are a LOT of awesome people on here who will walk this with you.  

 

[Grecoair]

Just got a new job! WOOT! 

[Ocelot]

Congrats

[Evicious]

Habit-building is one of my main goals for this upcoming 6WC, so I've been digging around on Steve's blog and found this: 

How to NOT Suck at Building Healthy Habits…FINALLY!

 

This bit: 

"“Steve, I get it, but I still struggle with that first step each day…for some reason I just can’t bring myself to do it.â€

Remove emotion from the equation – automate your habit as much as possible so you don’t even have  to think about it."

 

And this bit:

 

"We all have excuses that we use to make ourselves feel better about doing something or not doing something.

As I’ve said here on the site numerous times before: “Nobody believes your excuses except for you.â€"

 

Hit me in the feels hardest. How about you?