What made you smite today?

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Yea we are dealing with that with my Grandmother, it's not fun. I'm sorry Rand.

 

My only hope is that my daughter just shrugs it off and continues to have fun trying to predict the weather; maybe I should try to contact the local weather woman and have her talk to my daughter or ask her if she knows of any groups that do weather related stuff.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

cool thanks

[Closet Librarian]

2 hours ago, RandMart said:

 

Chargers OUT

 

 

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-chargers-move-live-chargers-apparently-devoted-about-five-1484241522-htmlstory.html

 

:headdesk:

[Guzzi]

So, we had a leak in the car and once it was plugged up the bf got one of those silica crystal pouches to soak up the dampness.  A day or two later he brings the pouch into the house looking for a way to dry it out.  We don't have any radiators since its all underfloor heating in the house so I told him to stick it in the oven at a really low temperature for a few hours. 

 

What he hadn't told me was that it was a scented pouch....

 

 

 

 

My oven now smells "Ice Fresh"

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Just think it gives you a reason to bake to get rid of the smell

[Guzzi]

I'm just off the phone with my mother in law and she told me that one of the doctors who looked after me when I was in hospital died in November. I'm totally shocked. She was such a dynamic woman, only in her 40s (she was only 38 when I was under her care) and one of those people who you imagine Death being scared of. 

 

She had been diagnosed with terminal cancer but had apparently kept it a secret, she even kept working until 2 days before she died! I'm just so shocked. I can't believe no one told me either, it would have been big news back home (you know how it is in small towns) and it even made it into the national papers. I've not been well so I've not exactly been keeping up with "current affairs" lately. 

 

I'll leave a link to the news article here if anyone wants to read it. 

[Guzzi]

We were out for dinner the other night and my partners 7yo daughter is sitting next to me at the table and blethering away, as kids do.  She was talking about football and such when she says to me "I don't think I'll be able to get a boyfriend."  Why not?  "Because I'm a tomboy and I like football and don't wear pretty clothes."

 

She's seven.  What kind of a world is this when that message is filtering down to a seven year old? 

 

Obviously i explained that someone should want to go out with her because they like her and not for the clothes she wears, but I was quite saddened by it.  What really gets me is that there's a "she should be more girly" attitude in the family, my partner included which she is bound to be picking up on.  

 

As a very NOT GIRLY girl myself I don't get why people want her to like girls stuff.  Sheesh!  Keep her playing "boys" stuff for as long as you can for Gods sake!  Let her know she can do whatever she wants and keep her interested in things you can share in.  I bet her dad will hanker after the football days when she's not interested in talking to him and only wants to talk to her friends about boys. 

 

Grumble, grumble, grumble. 

[Guzzi]

I've removed this post. I've decided that a public formum isn't the place for this grumble. 

[Pherales]

My mother messages me on facebook, guaranteed the conversation flows in one of these ways:

 

Mother:  So what did you have for dinner

Dalish: [insert food here]

Mother:  I put on two more pounds this week when I went in for weigh in (at standard american diet meeting)

Dalish: That blows

Mother:  We had dominos four nights this week.

 

Dalish is away banging her head against a wall...

 

~~

 

Mother:  I'm so alone and stuck in the house and I have nothing to do and I'm broke and I can't find a job.

Dalish: Here are seven links for local free events in your area you would enjoy, also here are several ways you could generate a small supplemental income from home in your spare time doing things you're already doing.  Also  I updated your resume for you two weeks ago.  Are you looking outside of your highly specific field like I and everyone around you has advised?

Mother:  No but I can't because....

 

Dalish is away banging her head against a wall....

 

~~

 

Mother:  I want to do (Insert acitivity here.  The most recent one is Tai Chi)

Dalish:  So do it.  There are tons of free lessons on youtube.  You do not need to pay for classes.

Mother: [immediately changes subject because she now doesn't get to complain about not having any money to do the thing]

 

Dalish is away banging her head against a wall....

 

 

Why the hell do I continue to talk to this woman?

[Raincloak]

Talking to her is a good thing, sounds like she is a bit disabled and needs your company.  Babysitting, on the other hand (doing her resume, finding activities for her, etc) is probably not your responsibility.

[Pherales]

17 hours ago, Raincloak said:

Talking to her is a good thing, sounds like she is a bit disabled and needs your company.  Babysitting, on the other hand (doing her resume, finding activities for her, etc) is probably not your responsibility.

 

She isn't.  This is the problem.  She pawns responsibility off onto other people, makes excuses just so that she can complain, and emotionally manipulates the situation so that I'm the one who's in the wrong.  Regardless of what I do or do not do for her.  If she is not the most hard-done-by person in the room, she will overdramatize mundane things for the sympathy vote.  This is the tip of a very large, very toxic iceberg.

 

There's a reason we live on opposite sides of the world.

 

 

[Guzzi]

10 minutes ago, Dalish said:

 

She isn't.  This is the problem.  She pawns responsibility off onto other people, makes excuses just so that she can complain, and emotionally manipulates the situation so that I'm the one who's in the wrong.  Regardless of what I do or do not do for her.  If she is not the most hard-done-by person in the room, she will overdramatize mundane things for the sympathy vote.  This is the tip of a very large, very toxic iceberg.

 

There's a reason we live on opposite sides of the world.

 

 

 

Hmmmm....  I'm going to say something here that will sound a bit harsh, but it's a situation I've been in myself and really the only thing you can do is to protect yourself from the emotional rollercoaster she brings with her.

 

It looks like she's really not interested in changing her situation, she would much rather wallow in her self pity.  So why waste your time and energy, or get yourself upset trying to help her?  That's not really what she's looking for from you.  She doesn't want to do any of these things, not really.  She just wants to complain about the fact that she can't do them.  You will only ever tear your hair out (or bang your head against the wall) if you try to help her, so why not just stop?

 

My grandfather used to say to me: Just be like the pebble on the beach.  The tide comes in, washes over the pebble, and goes back out again.  The pebble is still the same, the tide doesn't change it.

 

What your mother is doing to you isn't fair, but try not to let her effect you and your emotional wellbeing.  Try to just accept that this is what she wants and she is getting some form of pleasure/fulfilment from it.  Give her some vague "oh, that's too bad" and try to gently steer the conversation on to something else.  You might not be able to change the subject and if that happens then just let her bleat away until she's finished, don't stress about it.

 

As it is right now she probably comes off the phone thinking "Dalish just doesn't understand!"  So if nothing else you might be able to make your mum feel like she has someone to talk to.  That must be a good thing, no?  To do a kindness for another person.  

 

At at the end of the day it's only you that can decide how to deal with her.  Just don't let her pull you down with her emotionally xx

[Pherales]

Just now, Guzzi said:

 

Hmmmm....  I'm going to say something here that will sound a bit harsh, but it's a situation I've been in myself and really the only thing you can do is to protect yourself from the emotional rollercoaster she brings with her.

 

Nope, it's not harsh.  It's been a process spanning almost two decades to get close to that point so far, and minus the eye-rolling, teeth grinding frustration of listening to the same complaints and whining over and over again, she doesn't get under my skin like she used to.  

 

Noncommittal responses and letting the conversation die almost immediately after she kicks into gear is generally the theme of the day, but sometimes (like yesterday) she pulls out all the stops and gets into the personal barbs and snarks, and it's useful to vent it instead of letting it fester in my gut.  Hence why I dropped a post in a 'what pissed you off today' style thread.

[Guzzi]

 

4 minutes ago, Dalish said:

....Hence why I dropped a post in a 'what pissed you off today' style thread.

 

Yeah, sometimes we just need to vent to get it out of our system.  I'm glad to hear that she doesn't get to you so much but it's pretty shit that she does it in the first place.  Mums, huh?  

[Pherales]

27 minutes ago, Guzzi said:

 

 

Yeah, sometimes we just need to vent to get it out of our system.  I'm glad to hear that she doesn't get to you so much but it's pretty shit that she does it in the first place.  Mums, huh?  

 

C'est la vie, c'est la vie.  It's a pretty shitty thing for sure, but on the plus side she lives a long long way away, so I don't have to actually visit!  Everything has a silver lining  

[Jittersthe.Clown]

A friend of mine is getting emotionally blackmailed by her husband and quite honestly, I think it'd be worth taking time off of work to travel halfway across the country to punch him in the face.  

[Guzzi]

1 hour ago, Jittersthe.Clown said:

A friend of mine is getting emotionally blackmailed by her husband and quite honestly, I think it'd be worth taking time off of work to travel halfway across the country to punch him in the face.  

 

Can I come with?

[Jittersthe.Clown]

Hell yes.  A Scot and Clown beat down would be something I would want to be a part of.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

Dear Lady in the Elevator; Kill your fucking TV! Seriously the scared look you gave me was uncalled for, I simply asked what floor you were going to, acting like I was going to rob you or that I was some sort of terrorist is uncalled for, I'm sorry that my tan skin and beard makes you scared, that's on you not me.

[Raincloak]

Some people are mentally or emotionally disabled.  Keeping this in mind can help when dealing with people who drive you crazy. 

 

(I work in customer service, aka the complaint department.  Believe me, I see lunatics.  They don't know they're loons.)

[Evicious]

Saw a FB post by a friend-of-a-friend: it was a picture of a dad with his baby (appears to be a girl, based on the pink polkadots and tiny attached skirt) on the weight bench. The baby has itty-bitty weights and the dad is clearly helping. Super cute (for once - babies are normally barf-material in my book). The friend-of-a-friend's caption for this photo:

"I'm totally doing this if I ever have a little boy!"

This. This is why I hate people. This is why I have hated every single person who ever used the phrase "like a girl" in my presence (or the hundreds of other sex-based slurs available). This is why I would happily move to the moon, if/when that ever became an option.

 

So. Fucking. Infuriating.

Hid all future posts by that fucker. He could be the nicest person in every other possible way, and I would still hate him. I have nothing but the blackest of hatred for anyone who judges others based foremost on their gender.

[Thrillho]

Round 614 of "Why did you do this thing that you were specifically asked to do when you know you shouldn't do that thing, even though someone higher up than you specifically asked you to do it? Stop doing things that we specifically ask you, but when you do your own thing, remember, do what we specifically ask you to do first, unless you're not supposed to do it, in which case don't do it (but you should have)" at work.

And also, to the previous poster...

 

[Nater]

I had furniture scheduled for delivery for next Friday that we purchased 3 weeks ago. Today, they called and left a message which said they don't have a truck coming to my area that day and I needed to reschedule. Problem is, that was literally the only day all month we can be around to wait during a delivery window and we both have to schedule planned days off at least two months in advance.  When I called back, the phone rang and rang with no ability to leave a message and no tones like I was on call waiting. When a company cannot fulfill their scheduled deliveries and does not answer their phones, it really shows that they my buisiness was not important to them.

[Frost of the Gloaming]

feel like asking the Governor a question; why is it that when NYC gets 12-18 inches of snow over night you declare essential staff only, or when Buffalo gets 12-18 inches of snow during the day you declare essential staff, only however when Albany gets the same amount during the middle of the day it's no big deal? Is the rest of New York not as tough as Albanians or do you really not care, figuring that because all of the Senate and Assembly staff will call out that everyone else will do the same?

 

What this is really about; in younger years I would have just gotten up and slowly made my way to work and eventually made my way home after the roads were clear; (spending hours in a car for a 15 min drive seeing accidents all over the place) and now having a wife and kids to worry about I just don't see why/how risking my life is worth it when nothing goes on during the day at work because everyone calls in. However because my wife is in charge of the mailroom/print shop/etc. and her staff will call in she gets all anxious about some lawyer who might need something overnighted to NYC because of a court case  which probably won't be picked up because UPS/Fed Ex will pull their drivers in, so my wife will make her way in during white out conditions that if she gets into an accident because of the weather my insurance will have to pay for and god forbid that she actually gets injured during the accident they will move on, yes your job will still be there and you will still get your paycheck until you run out of sick time but all the while they will have someone else do your job until you get back and even then they can just give you a new assignment (aka they will move on without a second thought) she doesn't seem to get that I just want her to be safe and that really if everything is going to be shut down for the day

[Raincloak]

Nater, don't get me started on moving companies.  they are the source of at least a third of the complaints I get at work.  In fact there is a bit more to moving than just grunting and lifting stuff, such as not wrecking the walls, and showing up on time.  But a lot of our movers nevertheless appear to employ gorillas.  I do happen to know they often don't answer the phone, esp when getting calls from clients, for numerous reasons.  I'm not saying it's good, but it's fairly common.

 

in recent smite news, I had another anxiety/rumination attack at work and ended up leaving early.  My brain's self hatred is really starting to piss me off.  I'm trying to have a life here, this shouldn't be that hard.